Participants: Yvonne Lewis (Host), Tim Allston
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR000229A
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00:01 Stay tuned to meet a man who's been fired 13 times,
00:05 never ever received a job promotion, 00:08 and 39 years of employment 00:10 and has been employed in most jobs 00:12 only for a total of 3 years. 00:14 You'll find out how his life has changed 00:17 and how you can change yours as well. 00:19 My name is Yvonne Lewis 00:21 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:46 Hello and welcome to Urban Report. 00:49 My guest today is Tim Allston, he's an author, speaker, 00:54 and he wrote Introduction to Ego Holistic Recovering. 00:59 Welcome again to Urban Report. 01:02 Thanks, Yvonne. Thank you. 01:03 I say again because you've been on Urban Report before. 01:07 I think you were on with Jason and he interviewed you at ASI. 01:11 And you interviewed me at ASI in 2012 in Cincinnati. 01:15 That's when I worked for Oakwood 01:17 before it fired me for the third time, 01:19 but I'm getting ahead of myself. 01:21 Well, see we can laugh about that now, 01:23 but I'm sure as it was happening, 01:25 it wasn't funny. 01:26 Let's talk about you for a minute, your journey. 01:32 You have been this remarkable PR person. 01:37 I mean, I met you years ago and I had heard about you 01:41 through my cousin Patti Conwell, who... 01:44 My mentor. Oh, was she? Oh, wow. 01:46 Is she your mentor? She is my mentor. 01:47 Yeah, she likes to say that I'm her mentor, 01:48 but she's really my mentor. 01:50 She's incredible. She's incredible. 01:52 She had told me about you years ago. 01:55 And then I met you for myself 01:57 and I just have been so impressed. 02:00 And I think this is probably not good 02:03 given the fact that you wrote a bit on the egotism, 02:08 but anyway, I just have to say the gifts that God 02:11 has given you have been enormous, 02:15 and yet, you call yourself a celebrated serial failure. 02:21 Yes. Explain why? 02:23 Surely. 02:24 Like you, Yvonne, I had everything. 02:28 I was raised in a Christian home, 02:30 loving Christian parents, 02:32 raised us in church school, 02:33 Seventh-day Adventist church school, 02:35 but I did not appreciate the wealth that I had 02:39 and so after going through years of church school, 02:41 going through all of that process, 02:44 at the end of ninth grade, 02:46 when I was in Greater Boston Academy, 02:47 I got tired of being good, 02:51 I got tired of being a good boy. 02:54 I wanted to go out and to see what the world had to offer 02:58 and I begged my parents 02:59 in that summer of 1969 at age 14, 03:02 "Please let me leave church school to go to see 03:06 if all of this background you've given me 03:09 can stand the test of time." 03:11 And so reluctantly, 03:12 Thursday morning, July 24, 1969, 03:16 my father and I were riding in the car 03:18 and he said, "Tim," he said, 03:19 "you've never really given us any real problems. 03:22 You want to go to public high school, 03:23 to a local public high school, 03:24 Everett High School, Everett, Massachusetts. 03:26 He said, "For this first year, we will, Mommy and I, 03:29 your mother and I will allow you 03:31 to go to public school." 03:32 I was stunned 03:34 because my parents believe in SDA education 03:36 and then there's nothing. 03:37 They believe in the three braided cord 03:39 and that is church at home, 03:41 church at school, church at church. 03:44 And so for them to have made that decision, 03:47 I was stunned and what I did was, 03:49 sitting in my car, in my parent's car, 03:52 in a 1961 Chevy Parkwood station wagon, 03:55 sitting in the passenger seat, 03:57 I looked down at the dashboard clock, 03:59 it was 11:38 in the morning. 04:01 And I said, "Remember this, is a red letter day." 04:03 I was stunned. 04:04 But then my father said something 04:05 that was very prophetic. 04:07 He said "Timmy," that's what they called me, 04:08 "we know what's going to happen, 04:11 but you need to experience it for yourself." 04:13 Looking back now, 04:15 it was arguably the worst decision 04:17 I had ever made. 04:19 There's nothing wrong with public school, 04:21 however, I had been in faith-based school 04:24 all that formal education. 04:26 In faith-based institutions, whether Seventh-day Adventist, 04:28 Baptist, Presbyterian, Episcopal, 04:30 the focus is on Jesus. 04:33 Everything is measured up to Jesus. 04:36 So it is Christ centered or Christocentric. 04:39 When you leave a faith-based environment, 04:41 and for me, going to a public, even a private school, 04:44 the emphasis is about you, developing you, 04:48 be all that you can be, be the best, 04:49 so the focus is not Christ centered, 04:53 it's self centered, or egocentric, 04:56 and what began then was a slow imperceptible slide. 05:01 What I did was, 05:02 and it resembled the prodigal son story. 05:05 I said to my parents, "Give me my inheritance. 05:09 Give me my space." 05:10 So they gave me my S, my smarts, 05:13 they gave me my P, my principles, 05:15 they gave me my A, my sense of articulation, 05:18 they gave me my C, my charm and charisma, 05:21 and they gave me that E, 05:22 which to some say 05:23 I was probably easy on the eyes. 05:25 So I took that S-P-A-C-E and went out there, 05:28 but because I had no spiritual moorings, 05:30 I became the S-P-A-C-E, space cadet. 05:35 It's not funny. 05:36 Is it, is it, 05:37 looking back on it now is very funny. 05:39 I mean, I achieved all kinds things. 05:41 I was the state oratorical champion. 05:43 I lettered in sports, you know, I got scholarships 05:47 but little by little by little 05:49 my spiritual moorings began to slip away. 05:53 Went into college, the same kind of things, 05:55 became involved in my fraternity, 05:56 became student body president, 05:58 had job offers, 05:59 but I began to slip away little by little. 06:03 So that three-braided cord 06:04 first got broken by me leaving church school. 06:07 And then when I went away to college 06:08 and didn't go to a faith-based college, 06:10 that was another cord that broke, 06:12 and not being home, 06:14 so all three chords were broken up. 06:16 I was drifting, 06:18 but I was pimping off of the values and experiences 06:22 and exposures from a Christian home, 06:25 a Christian school, and a Christian church, 06:27 but little by little, it was eroding. 06:30 So you saw... 06:33 When you made that decision, 06:36 you had no idea 06:38 that your persona was going to change? 06:42 No. My parents knew. 06:44 That's why my father made that prophetic statement to me, 06:46 "Timmy, we know what's going to happen, 06:47 but you need to experience it for yourself." 06:49 No, I had no idea because I was living that life, 06:53 I was enjoying it, I was getting attention, 06:55 acclaim, awards, speaking engagements, 06:59 all types of different kinds of things 07:01 that meant a lot to me 07:03 as a young man, a young teenager, young adult, 07:06 but my spiritual underpinnings were slipping away. 07:10 And so as your parents saw this happening, 07:13 were they saying to you, like, "We see that you're changing," 07:18 or did they just kind of let you 07:21 see for yourself that you were changing 07:23 and just kind of not sweep it under the rug 07:27 but they might not have brought it to your attention? 07:30 In hindsight now, it grieved them, 07:33 it pained them, and I'll give you an example, 07:36 but they also understood that "He's an adult, 07:39 he's got to make his own adult decisions, 07:44 we can tell him what to do, 07:46 but he needs to experience it for himself." 07:48 But the other part 07:49 where they sit and sincerely believed, 07:52 train up a child in the way he should go 07:53 and when he gets old, he will not depart from it, 07:55 even though it took this person 40 years to get it. 07:58 Let me give you an example, when I was in college, 08:01 my grades started slipping, slipping, slipping, slipping, 08:04 yet the school was still sending me out 08:06 on speaking engagements to alumni, to this, that, 08:07 and the other until my mother who was an academic, 08:12 working at Oakwood College, 08:13 sent a letter to the school 08:14 and forbade them from sending me 08:16 on any more trips 08:17 because she said 08:19 I was not academically representing them, reluctantly, 08:22 they went along with it, 08:24 but they knew that I was representing them 08:27 on the surface of things. 08:30 So they in their own way 08:32 were allowing me a level of independence, 08:35 but they never stopped praying. 08:38 Any time I would call home which was few and far 08:40 between because I was living that life, 08:43 phone conversations were always punctuated with the statement, 08:45 "Timmy, we love you and we're praying for you." 08:49 And that is the... 08:51 That was the chewing gum and bailing wire 08:54 that held me together against my own wishes. 08:57 Did you continue to go to church 08:59 when you went away to college? 09:01 See that's an ugly question. That's an ugly question. 09:03 Especially since your mom is sitting 09:05 in the audience right here, right? 09:06 Yeah, that's an ugly question. Let me tell you what I did do. 09:09 If I knew I was going back home, 09:10 and by this time my parents and family had moved 09:12 from Greater Boston to Huntsville, Alabama, 09:14 where Mom and Dad accepted administrative 09:16 staff positions at Oakwood College, 09:17 which is my mother's alma mater. 09:19 Whenever I would go home to visit, 09:24 shame on me, 09:26 I would attend church the Sabbath 09:28 before so that I could at least be up 09:31 on whatever the issues were in the church. 09:33 So whenever I rolled home, 09:35 I would at least be somewhat conversant 09:36 if something came up. 09:38 I mean, I can remember... 09:39 You're really pulling a scab off now. 09:42 I mean, I can remember times when I would call home 09:45 and Mom would say, 09:47 she would wait till the end of the conversation 09:48 and she would say, "Have you been to church?" 09:50 And I would say, "Mom," I said, 09:52 "I was just too tired to go to church, 09:54 or if I go to church, 09:55 I'm gonna fall asleep and I know it, 09:57 in service you." 09:58 And so, she would say, 10:00 "Well, typically, you fall asleep on Sabbath 10:02 if you're too busy on Friday night." 10:04 Oh, Mom! 10:09 But she was the first one to bust me. 10:11 She was the one, when they had decided, 10:14 we're not paying any more tuition 10:16 to that good school 10:18 when we have a school that's training people 10:20 for the kingdom. 10:21 And I made a decision, "I'm not coming." 10:23 My mother said to me, she said, "Yeah, 10:24 we don't have all the things 10:26 that your alma mater has, all young ladies, 10:29 they were long skirts, they carry big Bibles, 10:30 they wear no make up. 10:32 We don't have all the allurements 10:33 of that at the school." 10:34 She said, "Hampton", which was my school, Hampton, 10:37 "This is not your problem, your ego is your problem. 10:39 You can't see yourself coming to little bitty Oakwood." 10:42 And I dismissed it, 10:44 but it came back to bite me some 32 years later. 10:48 So you never did go to Oakwood? 10:50 Never attended Oakwood. 10:51 Because you thought that Oakwood was not... 10:55 it didn't measure up for you. 10:56 Didn't have all the horns and whistles, 10:58 you know, I regret it now. 11:01 I mean, when I finally married, 11:02 ultimately married and my wife was an Oakwood grad, 11:05 we went back to her first alumni weekend 11:08 in 1995 as a husband and wife. 11:12 She introduced me to her friends 11:13 and my wife is very much unlike me. 11:15 She's very unpretentious, very, very unpretentious, 11:18 very much a wallflower, 11:19 very much in the shadows, unlike me. 11:22 But she would introduce me 11:24 to some of her best friends in school, 11:25 some people who were real close, 11:26 people who played softball with here, 11:28 people, you know. 11:29 As we're driving back, 11:30 I was working at Hampton during that time, 11:32 I began to think about recap the weekend. 11:35 And there was something that I noticed 11:38 about the majority of her friends. 11:40 The majority of her friends 11:42 had all had the same first name, Doctor. 11:47 Dr. Reggie Coupwood, 11:48 Dr. Dwayne Harrison, Dr. Kathy Arthur. 11:53 And I said to myself, I could have been like that, 11:58 but I went to school, went to college 12:01 not for the pursuit of happiness, 12:04 I went for the happiness of pursuit. 12:09 And when I look back on it now, 12:12 you know, I should have a granddaughter 12:16 or grandson in college if I had been focused, 12:21 but I was so busy trying to run away 12:23 from all of those basics 12:25 my parents instilled and embedded within me, 12:27 I was running in the opposite direction. 12:29 You know, I should have been more focused, 12:32 but I was trying my best not to be, 12:33 but God allowed me down this path 12:36 until I hit rock bottom and woke up. 12:39 And let's talk about that. 12:41 Before we get there though, 12:42 let's talk about 12:44 where God had taken you to hit rock bottom from? 12:48 God had allowed me to, upon graduation, 12:52 even though I graduated with a 2.2 average, 12:56 which was basically a C minor. C. 12:59 Yeah. I had seven job offers. 13:02 Why did I have seven job offers? 13:04 Because I was pimping that SDA culture, 13:08 from all of those years in Sabbath school, 13:12 learning memory versus, 13:14 reciting all of them for 13th Sabbath, 13:17 for whenever there was a Youth Day program, 13:19 being that speaker. 13:20 And from growing up in church and church school, 13:23 where everything boiled down to principles, as a result, 13:28 I went to college and I became an English major. 13:32 And I became an English literature major. 13:33 and the reason I became 13:34 that is because I would go into class, 13:38 had not read the literature, 13:40 could not answer who said what to whom, 13:42 but any question that was philosophic in nature, 13:47 because they're all boiled down to principles. 13:49 So I was pimping the culture of being an Adventist, 13:54 I was pimping that culture. 13:56 So as a result of that, I ended up working 13:58 for the world's largest public relations firm 14:00 in New York, Burson-Marsteller 1977, 14:03 received the top award, 14:04 the Silver Anvil Award part of my team 14:06 which is the Oscar. 14:07 The next month I got fired. 14:09 Why did you get fired? 14:11 You got the Oscar. Yes. 14:13 The Oscar, for public relations. 14:18 Why did you get fired? 14:19 As my mentor told me who recruited me, 14:22 "Tim, you are more of a personality 14:26 than a professional." 14:29 Unpack that for us. 14:31 I was the good times guy. 14:33 I mean, I was the one who was leading the parties 14:36 whenever we had parties. 14:37 I was the socialite at the receptions. 14:40 You know, I had just enough writing skills to get by. 14:43 I was in media relations. 14:45 I was one who would book Media for different clients, 14:48 book different shows like Good Morning America. 14:50 So I knew how to sell. 14:52 But in terms of being a marathon runner, 14:56 a long-distance person, 14:58 I was so busy skimming off of the top. 15:01 After a while in 1978, 15:03 when we had an economic recession, 15:06 the economy swung down. 15:08 I was not necessary. I got swung out. 15:12 That happened again some six years later 15:15 when I went to work for Hill and Knowlton, 15:18 which was then the world's largest 15:19 public relations firm headquartered in Chicago. 15:23 I had just, in 1986, won the John Hill Award, 15:26 the top award for the company. 15:28 Five months later, I was fired, the same thing. 15:32 And what I learned was the fact I was good enough to get in, 15:38 but not excellent enough to move up. 15:40 But how did you get those awards 15:42 if you weren't performing adequately? 15:45 How did you get awards for performance 15:48 and then get fired? 15:50 My belief is this, I'm glad you asked, 15:53 God always had a plan for me 15:57 whether I could see it or not. 16:00 I had an experience in 1977 with my college fraternity, 16:03 Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity. 16:04 I was a national officer, 16:06 I was on the board of directors, 16:07 I was speaking around the country, 16:09 and I watched the final banquet that your new president came in 16:11 and he gave an award to the director of conventions 16:14 who had been director 16:16 of commission for 30 years or so. 16:17 I think much around, I was 22, hotshot kid. 16:20 I'm sitting next to my mentor 16:21 who was the legal counsel for the fraternity. 16:23 He said, "This is interesting, Tim, 16:24 I said, "Why?" 16:25 He says, "Typically, 16:27 when you get an award for doing your job, 16:29 it's the way the corporations learn 16:31 how to get rid of you." 16:34 I said, "Whoa, I didn't think a lot of it then." 16:37 But as I began to watch the trajectory of my life, 16:41 whenever I would get an award, 16:43 as I look back on it now in hindsight, 16:46 that was the way to move me out. 16:49 It was God's way to say, 16:51 "You've gotten as much as you can get from here. 16:53 I'm moving you out to get you ultimately 16:56 to where I want you to be for my glory." 16:58 This message that I've been able to put together, 17:00 this book that I've been able to write is God's gift to me 17:05 and my gift back to God to be able to tell people 17:08 about a problem that affects all of us. 17:10 And as I look at the trajectory of my life, 17:12 I go back to John 9 when Jesus of the disciples, 17:16 I'm a walking down the road and they run into a blind man. 17:20 And the disciples say, "Jesus, who sinned? 17:22 Was it this man 17:23 or was it his parents the caused him to be blind." 17:26 Jesus said "Neither." 17:28 He said "But he is blind averse they neither, 17:30 but that the works of God could be displayed in him." 17:33 And then God healed him. 17:35 I believe sincerely, Yvonne, 17:37 God has allowed this ego-holism, 17:41 which is an addiction to self in me 17:44 to be exposed to people 17:46 to be that first mouthpiece to be the poster child for it 17:50 in an effort to help to heal other people. 17:53 It is my blindness 17:54 that God has healed or is healing. 17:56 So the question I asked people is, 17:58 "What is the blindness in you 18:00 that God has put in you that allowed in you 18:04 so that once you give yourself and get broken down 18:07 and get humble before God, 18:09 he can reveal it 18:10 and you can help to save mankind." 18:12 That's my story about all the firings. 18:14 Yes, yes, yes. 18:16 The book... 18:17 And we have the cover 18:18 so that people can take a look at it. 18:21 Tell us a bit about the book. 18:23 What led you to write this book? 18:26 And by the way, when you see your name, 18:29 you want your name in all lower caps, 18:31 you don't want it in uppercase, you want it all lowercase. 18:35 That's right, that's right. 18:36 What led you to write this book? 18:41 I left Oakwood. 18:42 Well, Oakwood fired me for the first time, 18:44 first of three firings. 18:45 Okay. 18:46 Let's unpack that a minute and then go to the book. 18:49 Okay. 18:51 Because of my experience in higher education, 18:55 technically, chronologically, I had more experience, 18:59 more exposure than the president, 19:01 and I let him know that on a regular basis. 19:06 I did not learn the first rule of thumb 19:08 in terms of power, 19:09 which is you never out shine your master. 19:13 And so that was a bitter pill for me to swallow. 19:16 But it led me into entrepreneurship 19:20 because I learned from a mentor of mine 19:21 that entrepreneurship 19:23 is one of the closest ways to get to God 19:25 because when you're an entrepreneur, 19:27 you have no safety net. 19:28 That's right. 19:29 You have no institutional budget, 19:31 you have no staff, it's just you alone. 19:32 And in that alone time that wilderness, 19:36 that's when God speaks to us many times, 19:38 it's not for everybody but for those of us 19:41 who can and do, 19:42 that's where God works through us. 19:43 So I went on grabbed my first contract, 19:46 I had never seen that much money before 19:47 and I said, 19:49 "Finally someone's gonna appreciate 19:50 my worth and value." 19:51 I lost the contract in six weeks. 19:53 Oh. Ouch. Yeah. 19:56 At the Dear John meeting, the client said to me, 20:01 "Tim, you needed help and you wouldn't ask for any." 20:07 Firing you was one of the best things 20:08 that could happen to you as a first time, 20:10 early stage entrepreneur. 20:12 He said because talent is not your problem. 20:16 Some say, "Well, if talent ain't problem, 20:18 then what is my problem? 20:21 At the same time, 20:22 I had gotten a letter in the mail 20:23 "Dear servant leader." 20:25 That caught my attention because, 20:26 you know, as I said 20:27 I was in a servant leader reading group. 20:29 The woman wrote about, 20:30 she was a professional speech coach 20:32 and my thing was to become a professional speaker. 20:35 And in reading the letter and getting in touch with her, 20:38 I decided to go meet with her. 20:41 And in meeting with her, we began to talk out things. 20:45 She her name is Vanalti out of Dallas, Texas. 20:47 She wrote the book on Zig Ziglar, 20:50 who was probably the most phenomenal 20:53 public speaker, motivational speaker 20:55 of the 20th century. 20:57 In meeting with her and talking with her, 20:59 she's a Christian business counselor. 21:02 We were talking about different kinds of things, 21:04 different kinds of experiences, and she said something to me. 21:08 She said, 21:10 "Tim, you are so articulate, 21:15 you are so charismatic. 21:16 When you walked in the room, your presence fills the room." 21:21 And I stopped her, I said "Yes," 21:23 I said "I am articulate, 21:25 I am charismatic, I do have a persona that fills the room, 21:29 I've gotten away 21:30 with that all of my life until I got married 21:34 and my wife lets me get away with nothing." 21:37 And then God sent this word through me. 21:41 I said "I guess I am an egoholic 21:45 who needs to recover." 21:47 And she stopped me, 21:48 she said "Tim, let me tell you something." 21:51 She said, "I've heard every kind of speech 21:55 there is to hear, 21:57 nobody is addressing that topic, 22:01 that's in your spiritual DNA, run with it." 22:06 So I was writing on this topic 22:09 for some 14 years, 17 drafts, 22:14 4 different editors, trying to get this message out, 22:18 they couldn't figure out why I couldn't. 22:19 You know, through all different findings I'm saying, 22:21 surely the Lord is calling me now 22:23 to go out of here to get this book out of here, 22:25 to write this book, to save the world. 22:28 When I got fired from DIRECTV in 2010, 22:31 I just knew that was the moment. 22:33 But I tried to get it designed, I tried, you know, I couldn't. 22:35 I went to my pastor at my church, 22:37 Pastor Benjamin Jone. 22:39 I said "What?" 22:40 He said "Tim, God always prepares 22:43 the minister before the ministry." 22:47 I said "Whoa!" 22:49 That's when I just backed up, backed up. 22:54 Then I was asked to come back to Oakwood to work. 22:57 Then new president come on Board Dr. Leslie Pollard 23:00 had worked very well, 23:01 famously well for good two years or so. 23:04 And then got canned. 23:08 He called me to into the office, 23:09 I will never forget i., 23:11 It was on Monday, December 16, 2013. 23:15 A few hours after that, 23:16 we getting ready to have the annual Christmas, 23:18 people give us bonuses, so this ego said, 23:21 "Well, he must be calling me in to reward me 23:23 because we just won the home depot campaign. 23:25 I was the architect of that. 23:27 You know, I've out distanced any other PR person here 23:29 which was Tim Allston before that. 23:31 You know, he called me in to fire me. 23:35 He said to me, he says "Tim, on my campus, 23:38 I've got two geniuses with problems, 23:41 you're one of them. 23:43 Get help now." 23:47 I'm like whoa! 23:49 His body of work I've been working on stuff 23:51 I've been writing for all this years, 23:52 I said, "That's probably the signal from God." 23:57 So I went to see professional counseling to deal 23:59 with the issue that he had suggested. 24:01 He said, "Tim, I'm not a medical doctor. 24:03 He said but you may want to look at the issue 24:05 of the narcissistic personality disorder. 24:09 I was like, that sounds severe. 24:10 So I met with the counselor, 24:12 we worked through some things and I begin to then write, 24:14 and write, and write, and write, and write. 24:17 As it turned out, 24:19 the Presidential Campaign of 2016 rolled around, 24:23 and a mentor of mine, a friend of ours, 24:26 attorney Shirma Rogers said to me. 24:27 Oh, yeah. 24:28 Said to me October 1, he said, 24:30 "Tim, you've been writing this book for 14 years. 24:36 Writing it, writing it." 24:38 He says, "I'm giving you an ultimatum. 24:41 October 31st, this books needs to be out. 24:44 It's need to be out before the election 24:46 for the obvious reasons." 24:48 I said, "Okay, yes sir. 24:52 Right on way, counselor." 24:53 And so with the run for the presidency, 24:58 and ultimate election of the Donald Trump, 25:01 I began to see the perfect timing of God. 25:07 And I say that because to the casual observer, 25:11 they say, "Oh, Donald Trump has a big ego." 25:14 But upon closer observation, he's got a very thin frail ego. 25:19 The question that I pose, 25:21 I'm about to write a piece now entitled 25:22 "The American ego has landed." 25:26 And then my subtitle is going to be, 25:27 But the disciples asked, "Lord, is it I?" 25:30 About the last supper, Jesus said, 25:32 "One of you all will betray me." 25:34 Eleven of the disciples were startled, 25:37 "Lord, is it I?" 25:38 Although, initially Jesus was talking about Judas, 25:42 ultimately, all the other 11 did betray Him. 25:46 So the question that I will pose to my readers is 25:48 "For the all the things 25:50 you dislike about this man, Lord, is it I? 25:54 Are you guilty of being brash? 25:56 Are you guilty of being nationalistic? 25:59 Are you guilty of being chauvinistic? 26:01 Are you guilty of saying things that you can't back up?" 26:05 As a recovering ego-holic, 26:07 I was asked myself "Lord, is it I?" 26:09 And unfortunately, Yvonne, 26:11 I am guilty of all of those crimes. 26:14 Now earlier this year, 26:16 I teach a Bible study class at my church, 26:17 first SDA in Huntsville, Alabama. 26:19 And we were studying the life of Peter. 26:21 So I asked my class, 26:23 I said "What do you know about Peter?" 26:24 They said, he was brash, nationalistic, hot tempered, 26:29 running of with the mouth, I said "Hmm." 26:32 Who does that remind you of? 26:34 And someone said "Trump." I said, "Okay." 26:36 I said, "Nationalistic, chauvinistic, brash, 26:39 making promises he couldn't keep." 26:40 I said, "What is the difference 26:42 between Peter and Donald Trump?" 26:47 And he said, "He humbled us." I said "Yes." 26:49 I said "Could all of this be God's effort 26:53 to humble this man." 26:55 I said "Have you been brash? 26:58 Have you been nationalistic? 27:00 Have you been chauvinistic whether by word or by deed? 27:04 Does Peter speak to you? 27:06 Did you see what God did with the Peter?" 27:08 Peter developed the spirit of humility 27:10 and teach-ability. 27:11 So as I understand Peter 27:13 and as I understand our new President Donald Trump, 27:16 God has also helped me to understand Tim Allston. 27:18 And I asked the question every day painfully, 27:21 "Lord, is it I?" 27:22 The answer is not a comfortable one. 27:27 At what point did you realize that, 27:30 I need to... 27:32 I know you've been working on this book for 14 years, 27:34 but at what point did you realize 27:37 that I have got to give 27:41 God total control of my life? 27:44 What was the precipitating event 27:47 that made you decide to turn over your life to Lord? 27:52 I don't think it was any single event, 27:54 like the hymn that we sang as children 27:56 each victory will help you some other to win. 27:59 I believe it's been a series of events in every single way 28:02 I watch God impact in terms of my marriage, 28:05 in terms of our daughter, in terms of our upbringing, 28:08 in terms of everything I was doing. 28:09 I begin to see 28:11 how my egoholism was draining them. 28:16 That they were not being all that they could be 28:19 and that I was an impediment to them. 28:22 And so, I reached the point now, 28:25 I don't trust Tim Allston. 28:30 I don't trust him. I know that rascal. 28:34 I know what he will and what he won't do. 28:36 So therefore, I've gotten very deliberate, 28:39 almost mechanical. 28:41 I pray about everything. 28:44 I pray when I get up in the morning 28:45 to wake our daughter up. 28:46 I pray when I fix family breakfast, 28:49 I pray before I have family worship. 28:51 You know, all the time, 28:52 because I know that I'm exceedingly evil. 28:55 the Apostle Paul says in Romans 7:15, 28:59 you know, "I'm full of sin, 29:02 I know what I can do, 29:03 I want to do right but I can't do right. 29:05 When I try to do right, I do wrong. 29:07 And when I want to do wrong, He pushing me to try to do it." 29:09 I'm in a world to trouble and I understand this. 29:12 One of things about being egoholic was not caring, 29:16 was thinking that I was all that. 29:18 But one of the things about being a recovering egoholic 29:21 is I become exceedingly aware of how sinful I am 29:26 and how small I am to God. 29:28 That's why when you see my name written, 29:31 it's written in all lowercase letters. 29:33 I don't feel worthy to be capital about anything. 29:39 So what would say 29:41 are the symptoms of egoholism? 29:45 How do you know? 29:46 How does one know that one is an egoholic? 29:49 Okay, well, first of all, 29:52 there is nothing wrong with having an ego. 29:55 Every dictionary defines an ego as a sense of self. 30:00 So therefore, every person, every organization, 30:04 every event, every activity has a sense of self. 30:09 Where the egoholism comes in 30:11 is when we put too much of our self in. 30:13 For example, when God made us, He made us perfect. 30:18 But in that perfection, our perfection was tied to Him. 30:24 When we sinned, we broke that, 30:28 and so everything we do, 30:30 everything you do, everything I do, 30:32 there's always a sense of incompleteness. 30:36 What happens is we are incomplete 30:40 and the completion can only come 30:43 when we team 30:44 with the undefeated partner, God. 30:47 Our problem comes in 30:48 when we come into any situation, 30:50 we try to fill our self with what has to happen. 30:55 We need to partner with God. 30:57 But only God knows the exact divine calibrations 31:01 of what to put in more of Him or less of us, 31:04 only God know that. 31:06 Egoholism comes about 31:07 when either we put too much of our self in, 31:10 which is big ego, 31:11 or to put little of us, which is little ego. 31:14 We try to do that. 31:15 And God dispenses Himself to us 31:18 in a measure proportion to our faith. 31:21 So what God has shown me, 31:23 you know, first of all, through the Bible. 31:26 The Bible is that mirror, 31:27 actually, it's a two-way mirror. 31:29 It really shows me my exuding sinfulness, 31:32 and what the Bible is showing Tim Allston 31:34 is my major egoholisms 31:36 are the acronym spaides, S-P-A-I-D-E-S, 31:41 selfishness, procrastination, 31:46 arrogance, 31:48 I is called impression mismanagement, 31:52 I'll come back to that. 31:53 D' is disorganization. E is poor eye contact. 31:57 And S is selfishness. 31:58 I am "bracketed" by selfishness. 32:00 When I talk about impression mismanagement, 32:01 for example. 32:03 I once saw a sign on a teacher's wall 32:04 when I was in college. 32:05 And it said prosperity, 32:07 spending money you don't have 32:09 to buy things you don't need to impress people 32:11 you don't even like. 32:15 I like that. 32:16 That clearly a sign of low esteem, 32:18 low or no esteem. 32:20 So when I read my Bible to answer your question. 32:25 It points me to, 32:27 it pulls the cover off of Bible characters 32:31 which force me to say, "Lord, is it I?" 32:34 I got little Judas Iscariot in me. 32:36 I have a little Saul of Tarsus in me. 32:39 I have little Saul, King Saul in me, 32:41 I have a little Adam and Eve, I have a little Moses in me. 32:44 You begin to see yourself in Bible characters. 32:47 And thank God that He has given us the Bible, 32:50 which is His love letter to the human race 32:53 to point out those. 32:54 That's the first truth teller I talk about book number one, 32:57 but the other truth tellers are people, events, 33:00 and activities that reveal us to us, 33:02 typically in a painful way. 33:04 You know, the decisions that we make, 33:06 they reveal us to us. 33:08 Our job is to make the corrections. 33:11 Our job is to look at our history, 33:13 to glance at our history, 33:14 there's nothing you can do about what's in the past 33:16 other than to look at it, 33:17 either decide to repeat it or to repulse it. 33:21 And that's the beauty of history. 33:22 So step one of my book says, "To change lanes effectively, 33:25 glance back quickly before driving forward. 33:28 Don't leer, don't spend all your time 33:29 looking backwards, 33:30 living in the past is like living with the dead." 33:32 And that's the essence of step one of the recovering process. 33:34 And in fact that was going to be my next question. 33:37 What are the steps in recovery? 33:42 Okay, well. Step one, you just gave us. 33:44 I'm still recovering, 33:45 so those steps I call the Tim Commandments. 33:49 The Tim Commandments. 33:50 Okay. All right. 33:51 There are 7 steps, 33:53 but there are 3 that precede that, 33:54 it's called T-O-P, top, take it to the top. 33:57 "T" target the problem. 33:59 It's not a problem until you are willing to admit 34:01 that it is the problem. 34:02 The example I use 34:04 is of the retired veteran anchor 34:06 for Face the Nation, Bob Schieffer. 34:09 In 2003, he was diagnosed with having cancer 34:11 and he said the toughest part of having cancer 34:13 was being able to say to him by himself, "I have cancer." 34:17 We've got to learn as Ellen White says 34:19 to call sin by its right name. 34:21 So we got to call it out. 34:23 James Baldwin says, 34:24 "You can't fix what you won't face." 34:26 So we have to call it what it is. 34:28 So "T", target that, put a bull's eye on it. 34:31 You know, "Selfishness is a problem for me. 34:33 So I'm very, very aware of it. Procrastination is the problem. 34:37 I'm very, very well aware of it. 34:39 Arrogance that, that over sense of self, 34:41 I'm aware of that. 34:42 Impression mismanagement, you know, being disorganized, 34:45 my wife can talk about that. 34:47 Poor eye contact and selfishness again. 34:49 I'm aware and so therefore, 34:51 God has been able to show those to me." 34:54 That's step one. 34:55 Step two talks about... 35:00 Uncover buried, 35:02 hidden treasures in your life 35:03 by digging deeper below the surface. 35:05 I use the example here of Michelangelo 35:08 the Italian sculptor. 35:09 And someone once asked him, 35:10 "How did you create 35:12 this magnificent structured sculptor of David 35:15 out of this large piece f marble?" 35:17 Michelangelo said, 35:18 "David was always in that piece of marble, 35:21 my job was to chip away the excess rock." 35:24 I like that. 35:25 When we allow God to chip away the excess rock in our life, 35:29 we will find 35:30 the beauty within it and also some of the ugliness. 35:33 Step three says that we will fast forward 35:36 our success by homework listening." 35:38 In this, I point out the fact that, 35:40 listening is something that we learn. 35:41 None of us were born... 35:43 Most of us are poor listeners. 35:44 And the reason for that is very, very simple. 35:46 In school, we had to take courses 35:48 in reading, writing, 35:51 speaking, but never once... 35:52 I don't if a school in the country, college, 35:55 or university, high school, 35:56 anywhere that teaches listening. 36:01 It is the foundation of what we do. 36:03 We learn nothing by talking. 36:05 We learn everything by listening. 36:07 My roommates told me in my freshman year in college. 36:09 They said "Tim, you're a good speaker, 36:11 but you're a poor listener." 36:12 When you become a better listener, 36:14 you'll become a better speaker." 36:16 It took me 30 years to learn, listening requires humility. 36:21 You have to know 36:23 that you don't know something and ask. 36:26 And therefore, 36:27 people then can give that to you, 36:28 that's step three. 36:30 Step four... 36:31 Before you go there. Go ahead. 36:32 It's interesting that you would say that 36:34 because there is active listening 36:37 and passive listening. 36:39 You know, you can just like, even in this situation... 36:43 Mm-hm. 36:44 We have to listen to each other. 36:46 I have to listen to what you're saying, 36:47 you have to listen to what I am saying 36:49 so that you can respond and vice versa. 36:51 And yet people can go through a day 36:55 and not really hear each other. 36:57 Family members can go through life 37:00 not really listening to each other. 37:02 I'm guilty. 37:03 So it's, it's a critical thing that we listen 37:06 and that we listen actively to what someone is saying. 37:10 And as you just said, if your ego was involved, 37:14 you're not gonna really listen 37:15 to what somebody else has to say 37:17 because you don't really see the value 37:18 in what somebody else has to say. 37:20 Not you, but I'm talking in general. 37:21 No, no, no, you're right. It is me, it's me. 37:23 I'm just saying, you know, in general, 37:25 if you don't see the value in what someone else has to say 37:29 and you feel that you have 37:31 the most important thing to contribute, 37:34 you're not going to really listen, 37:36 and that's a huge mistake that people make. 37:37 It's huge. 37:40 I remember an example that happened back in 1988 37:42 when George H. W. Bush was running for President. 37:45 Barbara Bush was on the road 37:47 and she helped him to walk here to speak to group of educators, 37:49 but for some strange reason, her speech didn't go with her. 37:54 She didn't have speech to give 37:56 and so she was able to pivot on her own, 37:59 as she turned to these educators 38:00 'cause she was talking about 38:01 an educational initiative of her husband, 38:03 and she turned to them and said, 38:04 "What are the educational issues here 38:07 in the state of Wisconsin?" 38:10 And they were more than happy to feed her information 38:12 that ultimately became a part of the platform 38:14 because a small thing that I've learned, 38:17 when you talk, you immobilize yourself. 38:22 What do you mean? 38:23 When you talk, you're giving out. 38:25 We learn nothing by talking. 38:28 We learn everything by listening. 38:29 So while I'm talking to you right now, 38:31 I'm immobilizing myself 38:33 and you're mobilizing yourself against me. 38:37 I mean, you're coming up with questions 38:38 based on what I've said, 38:39 what kind of cues I may have given. 38:41 And so the more we listen, 38:46 the more we learn. 38:48 You know, we think we learn a lot 38:49 but we learn nothing by talking. 38:51 When Ruth Simmons became 38:52 the President of Brown University, 38:54 the first African American President 38:55 of an Ivy League school. 38:57 Story says that she spent the first six months 38:59 just walking around 39:00 office to office to office just listening. 39:04 And then she put together her program 39:07 for leading the school 39:08 because she listened to the people, 39:10 listened to the little people 39:12 who were more than happy 39:13 because they've never been listened to before. 39:16 And she listened actively 39:18 and put that information together. 39:20 And so I am recovering 39:23 because I'm a speaker 39:25 and speakers have a bad habit of speaking and not listening. 39:30 And we need to learn 39:31 to develop greater listening skills. 39:34 Last point, the same letters that make up the word "Listen" 39:39 are the same letters that make up the word "Silent." 39:42 Um, interesting, yeah. 39:45 Yeah. 39:47 And see the joy, but here is the joy, 39:50 we learned how to listen 39:53 and we learned how to be poor listeners. 39:56 We can learn now how to become better listeners. 39:59 Right, right. 40:00 Step number four says 40:01 that we need to restart our engines 40:04 for better mileage. 40:05 And here I talk about 40:07 we all need to grow up to be children. 40:10 Okay, explain that. Okay. 40:13 There is an honesty and an innocence 40:15 in a transparency about children. 40:17 They will let you know when they're hurt, 40:19 they'll let you know when you've got bad breath, 40:22 they'll let you know when someone 40:24 is not treating them right. 40:25 You know, they have little to no pretence about them. 40:30 We will develop and we will grow 40:33 when we can get rid of all the pretence that we have. 40:36 And we've got lots of it. 40:37 I've got it, we all have it. 40:38 But if we can ever learn to start over again, 40:42 be willing to start over again, it's not easy. 40:46 But here is the key. 40:47 We don't have to do it alone. 40:50 That's the key to egoholism recovering. 40:54 You can't cure it, you can solve it, 40:55 you can't eliminate it, but with God's help, 40:57 God will help you to manage it. 40:59 I talk about management just like 41:01 when I came here to 3ABN building, 41:02 the grass was very well manicured. 41:05 It didn't just get like that. 41:08 And just because it got cut maybe earlier this week, 41:10 it's not going to be like that the next week this time. 41:14 It has to be cut or managed. 41:17 You know, your hair looks very pretty. 41:18 I love the flow of it and everything. 41:20 Thank you. 41:21 You didn't just wake up this morning with it, 41:23 boom, like that. 41:24 No. 41:26 You had to work with that. 41:27 You know, unlike mine, you had to work with it. 41:30 That's management. 41:32 Well, God works with us. 41:35 I will always, Yvonne, be selfish. 41:39 I will always be a procrastinator. 41:42 I will always, because it's in my DNA. 41:45 And it's like, Paul with the thorn in his flesh. 41:48 God said, "No, you need to keep that 41:49 so that you will stay humble." 41:51 I will always have that those problems, that spaides. 41:55 But through recovering, 41:57 God is shown me how to manage it. 41:59 It's the way I talk about the common cold, 42:01 the way I talk about cancer. 42:04 We hear people in church, saying I'm cancer free, 42:06 well, Hallelujah. 42:07 Reality is all of us have cancer cells in us, 42:12 all of us. 42:13 "So all of us have cancer." 42:15 When it gets to an excessive level, 42:17 that's it's says, "We've got cancer." 42:19 And then we go to hospital, 42:20 get treatment and get things down 42:22 to bring it down to a certain level 42:24 so that we're not in a danger zone. 42:27 It's same with the common cold. 42:28 We hear someone talk about some pharmaceutical company 42:30 that's invented something to cure the common cold. 42:32 No. 42:34 The common cold is gonna be here, 42:35 but we learned to do is manage it, 42:37 'cause it's gonna come back next year. 42:38 Weeds in your garden, 42:40 they're gonna come back next year. 42:41 We learned to manage it the same with the ego. 42:43 God will help us to manage it. 42:46 Step five talks about... 42:48 I love step 5. 42:50 It says turn your lemons into lemonade. 42:54 In this, I talk about. 42:56 I have a piece of it entitled 42:58 "How he went from Barack bottom to the White House?" 43:02 You know, when he lost the congressional race 43:04 to the Bobby Rush back in 2000, I think 2000. 43:08 The seeds of that loss became the foundation for his win. 43:14 When he looked through that race, 43:16 he begin to notice the fundraising acumen 43:22 of little black churches in Chicago, 43:24 how older women 43:26 and people would just give small donations 43:28 on a regular basis. 43:29 We at Seventh-day Adventist call that 43:31 systematic benevolence, 43:32 and he learned that and he became 43:34 the greatest fundraiser in political history, 43:36 and the rest is history. 43:37 So we've got learn to turn our lemons into lemonade. 43:41 One example I love to use is what I call 43:42 "Your Mount Moriah moments." 43:44 Taken out of the story of Abraham and Isaac, 43:47 bottom line, everything is a test. 43:50 Everything is a test. 43:51 The beauty of the test is that God is the test maker, 43:56 God is the test giver, God administers the test. 44:00 And when you and I fail, as we often do, 44:03 God gives us a make-up exam. 44:06 And God surrounds us 44:07 with people become that study group. 44:10 And He is such a good test maker 44:12 that He gives us the answers in advance. 44:16 That's the beauty. Nice, nice. 44:18 Step six says our healing is in our revealing. 44:22 In this I talk about Hilary Clinton for example 44:24 and how in her first autobiography, 44:28 everybody wanted to reads about Monica Lewinsky. 44:30 The biggest part of the book was in pager 764 when she said, 44:35 "I insist that Bill 44:36 and I go to counseling to save our marriage." 44:41 She became a heroine to about 700,000 couples a year 44:45 in America that go to counseling. 44:47 So in her revealing, she began to heal people. 44:49 And I say in the book, 44:50 you begin to heal people when you tell your story. 44:54 And step seven... 44:55 Wait before you go there. 44:57 It's important to tell your story 45:01 not just to heal people but it also heals you. 45:05 Oh, yes. 45:06 Because you become, when you're transparent 45:10 and you tell what God has done for you, 45:12 it all goes back to what has God done for you. 45:15 So it's not even you per se, but it's what God has done, 45:19 it's how in this situation, 45:22 how He has shined a light on areas 45:26 that you need work in, areas that I need work on. 45:28 That's what He does. 45:30 That's the Holy Spirit's job to convict us of sin. 45:33 And so what is sin? It's self. 45:38 And so we all are egoholics. Yes, we are. 45:41 That's the bottom line, we're all ego-holics, 45:44 we're all sinners in need of the Savior. 45:47 So He has enabled you to write 45:52 these books with these steps 45:54 to help to get victory over self. 45:57 Yes. 45:58 And the first victory is right here 46:01 because as I become transparent, 46:03 as God shines through me, I can't help but share. 46:08 It's not pretty, it's not easy. 46:11 It's very, very self condemning, 46:13 but it will help to heal people. 46:15 And the comments that I get from the people, 46:17 you know, but you're right. 46:19 And step seven, the final step says, 46:21 now that you know, go elevate and grow. 46:25 Write your story, write your story, 46:28 thoughts disentangle themselves 46:29 when they pass through your fingertips. 46:31 You have a story to tell. 46:33 And I throw a bonus in there, it's a eight book series, 46:35 book number seven is entitled 46:37 "What happened to Dr. Tim Allston." 46:41 I was working on my doctorate. 46:43 I had just got my dissertation topic approved. 46:46 I had 99 average in my class. 46:48 I had one more class to go, I was rolling. 46:51 You had one class left? And one class left. 46:54 I had just gotten the dissertation approved, 46:57 had a 99 average in the class. 46:58 I was on the fast track. 47:01 And on Tuesday, February 24, 2015, 47:05 Oakwood fired me for third and final time. 47:09 And my wife said, I told my wife, 47:12 she said, "Well, 47:13 since that money is not coming in, 47:15 would you consider sitting out a semester from school?" 47:19 I mean, I'm right at the end of the line, 47:20 I don't want to hear that, 47:21 but I said "Let me pray about it," 47:23 'cause I stopped, 47:24 I began to stop trusting myself. 47:26 That was on Tuesday, February 24. 47:28 On Wednesday, 47:30 we had a snowstorm in Huntsville. 47:31 Not like snowstorms here in Downstate Illinois. 47:34 I mean, we had an inch and that shutdown Huntsville. 47:37 Yeah, yeah. So that was Wednesday. 47:39 Thursday morning, I get up to shovel out our driveway. 47:42 You know, my wife and I are from Maryland in Virginia. 47:44 So we had the only shovel 47:46 on the whole block in Huntsville. 47:48 So there's a couple, 47:49 there's a lady and her daughter across the street 47:51 and they don't have an adult male, 47:52 so I shovel out my driveway, I shovel theirs out. 47:55 So I'm having this conversation with God, I'm going like, 47:57 "What's up? 47:58 You know, I'm at the end of this doctoral program 48:00 and all of a sudden you just yank the carpet." 48:02 God said, "Why were you in the doctoral program 48:04 in the first place?" 48:05 I was like, "What?" 48:07 I said, "I'm in higher education, 48:09 in a higher education, the doctorate is a union card." 48:12 He said "Mm-hm." 48:13 He said, "What are you gonna do your dissertation on?" 48:15 I said, "I thought about initially doing 48:16 on this egoholism." 48:18 He said, "But you changed." "Yes, I see, I changed." 48:19 He said, "Why?" 48:20 I said, "I didn't want a dissertation committee 48:24 of atheist chopping, slicing, and dicing on your word." 48:27 He said, "You're smart." 48:29 He said, "What did you then choose to do it on?" 48:30 I said, "I want to do it on how to market adult education 48:33 to faith-based historically black college and universities, 48:36 which are the most financially starved schools 48:38 in the country." 48:39 He said, "And what were you gonna do 48:40 with that dissertation?" 48:42 I said, "I was gonna roll that into a book 48:44 and then use that as a marketing tool to consult 48:47 with all these different schools." 48:49 He said, "Mm-hm." 48:50 He said, "I see." 48:52 He said, "Let me ask you a question, Tim. 48:54 If you had done all of those things 48:57 and put that book out and condemn this consulting, 49:00 who would have gotten the credit? 49:01 The doctorate or Me?" 49:03 I said, "Whoa!" 49:06 I said, "But wait a minute, Lord," I said, "you got me in. 49:09 You allowed me to get into this doctoral program." 49:11 And I said, "And..." 49:13 I'm getting mad with the Lord now. 49:15 I said, "I'm shoveling and mad." 49:17 I said, "I've just kicked out $26,460 49:21 in this doctoral program. 49:23 Don't you want me to be a good steward, Lord?" 49:25 You know, and the God said "Let me ask you a question, 49:29 what was your work experience at the institution?" 49:32 I said "It was terrible." 49:33 I said "I would do proposals I wouldn't get answer to, 49:36 this, that, and the other." 49:37 He said "Was it frustrating?" I said "Yes." 49:40 He said "People that get as frustrated as you, 49:42 what do they do?" 49:44 I said "They smoke, they drink, they get high, they gamble, 49:47 they have affairs." 49:48 He said "Did you?" I said "No." 49:50 He said "What did you do? 49:51 I said, "I talked about that institution 49:53 like a dog on those papers 49:55 that I was writing because I knew 49:56 they'd never see them." 49:58 He said, you know, "How did you do?" 49:59 I said, "I got As on those papers." 50:01 He said, "Okay." 50:03 I said, "But, God, you took away 50:06 the research site, 50:10 which is the gas station, you took away the vehicle, 50:14 the car and you've taken away the gas." 50:16 He said Mm-hm. 50:18 He said "The purpose of you doing 50:20 that doctorate was not for you to get a doctorate. 50:23 It was for you to amicably work out 50:25 your frustrations." 50:28 And now that the frustration is gone, 50:30 you don't need the doctorate anymore. 50:33 He said, "When I send the message through you 50:35 and that message is not that doctoral dissertation, 50:38 it's the egoholism recovering message, 50:41 I don't want anything or anybody getting credit 50:44 for you but Me, not a doctorate, 50:47 not an institution not 100 black men of America, 50:52 not Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, 50:53 not Hampton, not Oakwood, I only want the credit." 50:56 I said, "Oh." 50:58 And God said, 51:00 "One last question for you, Tim." 51:01 He said "If you had smoked, if you had drunk, 51:03 if you had gotten high, if you had gamble, 51:05 if you had had an affair, 51:07 how much money would you have spent?" 51:09 And I said, 51:10 "Oh, my word, 51:12 26,460 bucks." 51:16 I said "I get it." 51:18 I finished shoveling, went in, 51:20 and withdrew from Capella University 51:21 and never looked back. 51:24 So that book is entitled, 51:27 "Whatever Happened to Dr. Tim Allston." 51:29 And God showed me I am a jealous God, 51:33 mine is the divine jealousy, 51:34 and only I will get credit for your recovery. 51:38 Wow. 51:40 And so after you had had that dialogue with the Lord, 51:44 were you at total peace about it 51:46 or were you still feeling like, 51:48 "Well, could we just revisit this?" 51:54 Shoveling snow that day was a wilderness experience, 51:57 just Him, the snow, and me. 52:00 And I've learned about the wilderness experience 52:02 of Dr. John Maxwell that in the wilderness 52:04 is where your backbone gets solidified, 52:07 your calling gets clarified, and your motives get purified. 52:11 In that short two-hour wilderness experience 52:16 when God dropped that on me, 52:17 and it was almost as audible an conversation, 52:21 I had never had a second thought. 52:24 It was like boom, 52:26 never regretted not having that doctorate 52:29 because I understood that that doctorate, 52:32 for some that's fine. 52:33 You know, I'm glad that you've got a doctorate 52:35 in natural therapy, 52:37 but for me, it would have been a distraction 52:42 from doing expressly 52:44 God wanted me to be totally stripped down 52:48 so that all I could do was look at Him, 52:51 not a doctorate, not an organization, 52:53 not a guaranteed check, 52:54 He wanted me to be His broker at Ten Commandments 52:57 and simply serve Him. 53:00 I get it. Wow, wow. 53:03 So where are you now in your journey? 53:08 What does God have you doing at this point? 53:11 Right now I have produced the book, self published, 53:16 and I have launched it as a free book. 53:18 How can people get it? 53:20 They simply go to my website which is, 53:22 www.GetEgoHelpNow.org. 53:27 And there they're able to download 53:29 their free copy of the book. 53:32 www.GetEgoHelpNow.org, and it's free. 53:35 It's free, it's free. 53:36 You can't get any better than free. 53:38 You really can't. You really, really can't. 53:40 And the reason it's free, Yvonne, 53:42 is that I'm dealing with a brand new concept. 53:46 See if you were to write a book 53:47 from your background as a vocalist, as a teacher, 53:50 you know, as a hostess of a show, 53:53 as a manager of this network, 53:55 your book would be written about success 53:57 and people would buy your book because you're successful. 54:01 I'm a serial failure, 54:04 no-one wants to buy a book about a failure, 54:08 so therefore because 54:09 we don't value failures in the society, 54:13 but it is a concept that is very, very applicable 54:17 and intimate to everybody, 54:19 I give it to people free because I want them to... 54:23 It's my seed sowing. 54:25 I want them to chew on and let the idea, 54:28 the concept, marinate with them, 54:30 and I don't want a cost to be a prohibition 54:35 or to be an impediment. 54:37 Now the eight book series 54:39 that is coming after that will not be free. 54:42 And as I said I'll move people from free to shining fee. 54:48 From free... 54:49 From free to shining fee. Shining fee. 54:52 Okay, but this initial book is free. 54:54 It is free, it is totally free. And it's an e-book. 54:56 It's an e-book. 54:57 So... 54:58 And it's a one-sitting read. 55:00 You can read the book in 30 minutes. 55:01 Yes. It's a 27-page book. 55:03 Now let me just throw this in. 55:05 Because most people are gonna read it on 55:07 a mobile device or an electronic device, 55:09 I have taking this 27-page book and I have stretched it. 55:12 Some pages only have one paragraph on it, 55:14 you know, 55:16 but I want people to be able to read it, 55:18 to pray on it, 55:19 to see if it relates them for them 55:20 to ask themselves some penetrating, 55:22 some searing questions, and to go from there. 55:25 And I knew, I knew that I needed to remove 55:30 and get past the gatekeeper 55:32 and the gatekeeper 55:33 was my biggest competitor is tradition. 55:37 How so? 55:39 Well, first of all, 55:41 people don't believe they have ego problems, 55:43 first of all. 55:44 Number two, people think 55:46 that if you talk about a ego problem, 55:49 if it's gonna be discussed, it's got to be with a doctor, 55:53 a clinical therapist, an academic professor, 55:57 an ordained minister, even possibly a lawyer. 55:59 As I say in the book, I'm not a doctor, 56:02 I'm the patient, I'm not an ordained pastor, 56:05 I'm the sinner in the pew. 56:07 I'm not a clinical therapist, I'm the client. 56:11 You know, I'm not the professor, 56:13 I'm the student who need advisement. 56:15 I'm not the lawyer, I'm the victim. 56:17 And unfortunately, 56:18 I also have been the perpetrator. 56:21 So this book is about Tim Allston 56:23 without deodorant, 56:26 Tim Allston without mouthwash. 56:29 It is raw honesty. 56:33 And it is unique because it's told 56:35 from the other side of the desk. 56:39 So many people... 56:40 I mean, everybody has experienced 56:43 on some level, some kind of failure. 56:46 That's how you learn, 56:47 but we're so thankful with you, Tim, 56:50 that you've taken these areas of life 56:53 that have been challenges for you 56:55 and God has given you this desire 56:58 to share with others the places in which you failed 57:03 and yet it just brings inspiration and hope. 57:07 I read the book 57:09 and I was blessed by it and appreciate your journey. 57:12 Thank you. So we appreciate. 57:13 What is it... 57:16 Well, I can't believe our time is up. 57:19 I just looked at the clock, and it's like... 57:20 Let me say this quickly. 57:22 Thank you. Thank you. 57:23 My wife Elaine will tell you that I'm not recovered. 57:26 Okay, you're on the road. I am on the road. 57:29 You're on the road though. 57:30 And my daughter will tell you that I'm not out the woods, 57:32 but thanks be to God, 57:34 I am escaping 57:35 and I ask everybody to join me in my getaway. 57:37 All right. 57:38 Well, thank you so much for joining us. 57:40 Thank you. 57:41 And make sure you order that book go to... 57:44 www.GetEgoHelpNow.org. 57:49 It's been a blessing. And thank you for joining us. 57:53 Make sure that you order this book. 57:54 It's going to be a blessing for you and inspirational too. 57:59 I can't believe 58:00 that we've reached the end of another program. 58:02 Join us next time 58:03 because it just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2017-06-08