Urban Report

Urban Ministry

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript



Series Code: UBR

Program Code: UBR190013A

00:01 Stay tuned to meet a couple
00:02 who have dedicated their lives to urban ministry
00:04 and their journey will tell you why.
00:06 My name is Jason Bradley,
00:08 and you're watching Urban Report.
00:33 Hello and welcome to Urban Report.
00:35 My guests today are Pastor Steven Conway
00:38 and his lovely wife Tammy.
00:40 Welcome to Urban Report.
00:42 Thank you. Thank you.
00:43 It's great to have you guys here.
00:45 This is your first time here on Urban Report
00:49 and at 3ABN apparently.
00:51 Yes, yes.
00:52 Yes. So excited.
00:54 Well, I'm excited to have you.
00:57 Tell me a little bit about your background?
01:00 Well, we're both from Cleveland, Ohio.
01:04 Okay.
01:05 And we had an interesting,
01:09 well, we met in chemistry class.
01:11 Okay.
01:12 In John Jay Senior High School
01:15 but besides that,
01:19 I was born and raised,
01:22 been taken to church and what have you and,
01:27 but I didn't have a personal relationship
01:29 with the Lord Jesus.
01:30 Okay.
01:31 But I knew how to play the game.
01:33 I knew how to say Happy Sabbath,
01:34 praise the Lord,
01:36 Jesus is coming soon and all of that great stuff.
01:39 Meanwhile, I had no power in my life.
01:42 And so, for all intensive purposes,
01:45 I didn't believe that God existed,
01:47 or at least that everyone in church was faking,
01:49 because if I couldn't experience His power,
01:51 then why were all these other people
01:54 able to miraculously experience His power,
01:56 but God brought me through a conversion experience.
01:59 I was actually going door-to-door
02:01 doing colporteur evangelism out in Las Vegas, Nevada,
02:05 and I had an encounter with God.
02:07 We were staying in Las Vegas Junior Academy
02:10 and I remember the academy was empty
02:14 and I just got into a fight with my older brother.
02:17 And I was getting ready to pack my bags
02:20 and I heard God say to me,
02:21 "If you leave Steven, you'll be lost."
02:24 And I thought it was my brother.
02:25 So I looked around, nobody was there.
02:28 Again, "Steven, If you leave, you'll be lost."
02:31 So, for the first time in my life, I went,
02:35 lay prostrate by the exit door
02:38 and had a talk with the Lord and came out.
02:40 And God had literally transformed my life.
02:43 I know it didn't all happen that night.
02:44 He had been moving
02:46 and working in a variety of ways.
02:47 But that was a,
02:49 really a life changing moment for me,
02:52 which led me back to ultimately Cleveland, Ohio
02:55 where I wanted to reach out to the people
02:58 that I went to school with
02:59 and I was reaching out to a family
03:01 that was near and dear to my heart,
03:04 and in the process of reaching out to them
03:06 came back in contact
03:07 with this lovely young lady here.
03:08 It's me.
03:10 Okay, okay, so tell me little about your background?
03:12 As he said, we went to high school together
03:14 and I was not necessarily raised in a church going home.
03:18 You know, my parents told me about God,
03:20 the people who actually really gave me a foundation
03:24 as Christians were my grandparents,
03:26 but I was not around them very much,
03:27 you know, growing up.
03:29 What led me to God actually was a lot of mistakes
03:31 that I was making in my life
03:33 and as he said, you know,
03:34 we went to high school together,
03:36 I made, I did fairly well, you know,
03:39 I made it through high school.
03:41 I got a scholarship to college
03:42 and I felt like things were going great for me.
03:45 But unfortunately, the background
03:46 that I came from was abuse, a broken home,
03:49 and I kind of substituted success
03:51 for the reason why,
03:54 you know, I didn't really have to worry about those things.
03:56 But you know when we don't deal with things in our lives,
03:59 if we don't surrender them to God,
04:00 some of us don't even know what those things are,
04:02 they end up kind of creeping back
04:04 and that's what happened to me.
04:05 I ended up losing my scholarship,
04:06 I was dating a guy, I got pregnant,
04:09 ended up having an abortion.
04:10 I mean, life was just really going down the tubes
04:13 and that's when I cried out to God,
04:15 you know, and so I ended up through,
04:19 you know, I know the Lord was watching me,
04:21 and He was chasing me, I love to tell people that.
04:23 Yeah.
04:25 And a friend of mine invited me to church,
04:26 and I went, and from that point,
04:28 I was around 17 or 18 years old,
04:30 I just, I gave it all to God, I left that relationship,
04:33 all though I lost my college scholarship,
04:35 you know, the Lord was continually,
04:37 you know, working in my heart
04:38 and, and there was a point where I really began to ask God
04:42 to show me Himself, you know,
04:44 I knew there was something more.
04:45 I started off, you know,
04:47 going to the Pentecostal Church,
04:49 which is where my family, you know, was from,
04:51 but I knew that God has something more for me
04:53 and that's where this gentleman came back into the picture.
04:56 He had invited a group of us over to Bible study.
04:59 He ended up leaving and going back
05:00 to school into college,
05:02 and we continue to study, you know,
05:04 with his mother who I love, you know.
05:06 Given to mom.
05:08 Yeah, that's right.
05:09 And me and his mom had a lot in common.
05:11 She also came from an abuse background.
05:13 So, you know, God did something there.
05:15 And that was the beginning journey for me
05:18 to begin to not only heal,
05:19 but he began to kind of shift my purpose in life.
05:22 And I kind of look at him as an added bonus,
05:25 you know, to all of that, so you know.
05:27 I like that. Yeah.
05:29 All right.
05:30 Now, how did you transition into Adventism?
05:33 Wow, you know, it was interesting,
05:35 because though I was not necessarily
05:37 raised going to church,
05:38 you know, when you make a decision
05:40 to do something that's against the norm of society,
05:42 and for my family, everyone who went to church
05:45 when they did go, they went on Sunday.
05:47 And so when I began to kind of get acquainted with God's Word
05:51 and what the truth of His Word was,
05:53 and the Sabbath,
05:54 I went to church for Saturday and Sunday
05:56 for a long time.
05:58 And so it came a point
05:59 where it just didn't make any sense to do it anymore
06:01 and so I ended up leaving
06:03 and my home church in Ohio was Chesterville First Church,
06:06 and I loved my pastor and his wife there who,
06:09 even to this day have such an impact on my life.
06:11 Now, I didn't know I was gonna be married to a pastor.
06:14 And they really shaped the idea
06:17 that I have what ministry is to people
06:19 and the love for people and it was no-brainer.
06:22 I gave my heart to God
06:23 and I eventually got baptized as Seventh-day Adventist.
06:25 Nice. Yeah.
06:27 Nice. Yes.
06:28 You know, she left out a part that was kind of interesting.
06:32 Her aunt had been studying. Yeah.
06:35 And she had Amazing Facts Bible study.
06:37 She went to go visit her aunt. Yes.
06:39 She's studying, getting ready to get baptized
06:41 and her aunt.
06:42 She was sick.
06:44 She was sick one day, my mom, you know,
06:46 say let's go visit your aunt and I went to visit her
06:48 and when we went to the room,
06:49 she had all these Amazing Facts Bible studies on her bed
06:51 and when I saw those, I was like,
06:53 "Aunty, I know those, what are you doing?"
06:54 She's like, "Oh, sweetheart.
06:56 I've been looking at this guy on TV for a long time.
06:59 He's good." I said, "Yeah, he is."
07:01 Yeah.
07:02 And I said, you know, you know, you want to go to church.
07:04 She was like, "Why?"
07:06 I was like, well, "I'm a Seventh-day Adventist."
07:07 She was like, "I want to go..."
07:08 You know, and long story short,
07:10 I think she was probably baptized a month later.
07:11 Wow. Yeah.
07:13 Wow. Praise the Lord.
07:14 Yeah. Amen.
07:16 So you guys are also big on urban ministry.
07:19 Yes. Yes.
07:20 Talk a little bit about that?
07:22 Well, we are, the church that we're pastoring
07:24 is in Detroit, the city of Detroit
07:27 and, of course, both of us,
07:30 Tam and I, we grew up in the inner city.
07:32 Yeah.
07:33 So we know what it's like
07:35 to grow up in an urban environment.
07:38 We know some of the temptations, challenges,
07:41 pitfalls of growing up in that environment,
07:44 also, some of the opportunities as well.
07:47 And so, but I must confess
07:49 that initially I was quite hesitant about us,
07:55 you know, accepting the call to come and pastor
07:57 where we've been, but by the grace of God
08:00 we've been there for about eight years.
08:02 And God has been good to us.
08:04 He's been really, really good to us.
08:06 And right now we're working
08:08 on trying to do a center of influence
08:11 by the grace of God in Midtown Detroit,
08:14 and it's going to incorporate campus ministries
08:16 and food truck ministry
08:19 and some collaborative efforts
08:22 with the Detroit Public School System.
08:24 Okay. Nice.
08:26 How would you say
08:29 urban ministry has changed over the past 10 to 20 years?
08:32 Wow.
08:34 You know, I definitely feel like
08:37 when it comes to urban ministry,
08:38 most people look at the inner city
08:40 as a desolate place.
08:42 You know, they, look at it, and they think of crime
08:45 and they think of all these different things,
08:47 which to a certain degree that may be true,
08:49 but also there are a lot of good things
08:51 happening in the inner city.
08:53 And there's also a lot of people
08:54 who are searching and trying to find not just God,
08:59 but they want to restore their families,
09:01 they want to restore their health.
09:02 And so I think definitely,
09:05 ministry to the urban areas has definitely changed.
09:07 Now you see restaurants popping up
09:09 and people are more into healthy eating
09:11 and healthy living and you know,
09:13 urban farming and all these different things.
09:15 And so, it's definitely broadened.
09:18 Yeah, I also believe that kind of a misconception
09:22 that people have about urban ministry is that,
09:26 you know, you're only ministering
09:28 to a particular demographic of people.
09:31 But the reality is
09:33 there are literally hundreds of thousands of people
09:35 who commute from the suburbs into the inner city.
09:38 And so you really have a variety of different people
09:42 that you can reach if you're intentional and,
09:45 of course, if the Spirit of God is working with you,
09:47 so I think that's another nuance
09:50 that's changed kind of the approach
09:52 to urban ministry.
09:54 Yeah.
09:55 What would you say are some of the biggest needs
09:57 in the inner cities?
10:02 I would say definitely, as far as the inner city,
10:06 when it comes to housing and development,
10:11 there are a lot of people in the inner city
10:15 who need something better, you know,
10:18 and I think all too often we've painted a picture
10:21 of people who don't want to work
10:23 or who don't want to, you know, give back
10:25 and that's definitely not true.
10:27 If you go even where we are right now,
10:29 we are in a community that's called Brightmoor.
10:31 There are people who are actually sacrificing
10:33 and leaving their homes in the suburbs
10:36 and coming and buying property
10:38 and living there in the community
10:39 to make an impact.
10:41 And, you know, I know that for many people
10:42 that goes against probably what they feel
10:45 like we're counseled to do, but I do know for sure
10:48 that they are committed
10:50 to actually living amongst the people
10:52 as we would do if we would go to a country
10:55 outside of the US and serving them.
10:57 The inner city needs that as well.
10:58 Yes.
11:00 So what you're saying is
11:01 basically mission work can begin,
11:03 because you do see a lot of times
11:05 where people go out of the country
11:07 to participate in mission work,
11:09 but there is a huge mission field
11:12 right here in the United States.
11:14 Absolutely.
11:15 In fact, a few years ago,
11:17 we ran a program out of our church called Urban Mission,
11:21 Detroit where we, at the time we were working
11:24 with campus ministries, university students.
11:27 So what we did is we invited university students
11:30 to dedicate their summer to come
11:33 and do mission work,
11:34 but in an urban setting.
11:36 So we taught them gardening,
11:38 we focused on reading comprehension,
11:40 as well as trying to build mathematical abilities as well.
11:44 So we had about six young people
11:46 who came and dedicated themselves
11:48 and they made a tremendous impact
11:50 in our community
11:52 and I think I'll kind of back to your earlier question
11:54 in terms of what's the greatest need.
11:56 There's this quote,
11:58 as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined.
12:01 And I think a lot of times, efforts in the inner city
12:05 or in urban environments are geared towards adults,
12:09 and that's great, we need that.
12:11 But I think what we also need is we need efforts
12:14 that are geared towards the little twigs
12:15 that are coming up,
12:17 that represent the next 10 or 15 years in that program,
12:22 Urban Mission, Detroit,
12:23 we literally saw about two generations.
12:27 Yeah.
12:28 One of the young men whose home I visited him,
12:33 he said his grandmother was in jail for life,
12:36 you know, for murder.
12:37 Wow.
12:39 So, one of the other brother in the program and myself,
12:41 we were trying to counsel him and helping him
12:44 to get along better with his mom and whatnot,
12:46 and we were able to see him actually grow up,
12:52 and now he has children.
12:53 Wow.
12:54 And so we were able to come in contact
12:56 through targeting the children with three generations
13:00 and just to let you know,
13:01 man, the devil is out for generations.
13:05 He's not after just one person here or there.
13:07 He's out.
13:09 I'm gonna get grandma, I'm gonna get mama,
13:11 I'm gonna get grandchild, I'm gonna get great grandchild.
13:14 And I think as Christians who are doing urban ministry,
13:17 we need to be begin to think
13:18 along those same lines generationally,
13:20 and one of the generations
13:22 that's been left out is the children.
13:25 Speaking of children, and speaking of family
13:27 and speaking of generations,
13:28 legacy and all of those things, you guys are big on family.
13:32 Yeah. Right?
13:34 We actually have a picture of you and your family.
13:37 Yes.
13:39 And look at that.
13:41 They're a lot bigger than then.
13:42 They are way bigger than that now.
13:44 There they are. Yup.
13:46 So you also do marriage counseling,
13:50 talk to us about that ministry?
13:53 Wow.
13:54 Well, you know, the funny thing about that
13:56 is like I said earlier,
13:57 we both come from broken beginnings.
14:00 You know, my parents divorced when I was around nine,
14:02 my dad was an alcoholic so I saw abuse in the home,
14:05 sexual abuse I experienced
14:07 and my husband, you know, coming from,
14:09 you know, a broken, you know, beginning.
14:11 We knew we were set up to fail, make no mistake about it,
14:15 we were not supposed to make it.
14:17 And so when we knew that we were going
14:20 to be forming a nucleus or a family,
14:23 we began to experience some struggle.
14:25 It was hard, you know, the first couple of years.
14:27 Yeah, I think, you know, and there,
14:29 there are definitely some markers,
14:32 'cause we got married and like everybody,
14:34 oh, we love Jesus.
14:36 Jesus is coming again, love is all you need.
14:40 And, you know, the Lord intervened
14:43 because we were trying to do things
14:45 in harmony with principle and want to be,
14:48 want to involve our families and all that which we did.
14:51 But God began to instruct us
14:53 and teach us some things about ourselves
14:56 that we really didn't know
14:58 and He did that within the first year or so
15:00 of our marriage and what we realize is
15:03 because a lot of our friends in the church
15:07 and those who were secular friends
15:09 had gotten married around the same time
15:11 and within about two years of being married,
15:14 we found that probably about 90% had divorced.
15:18 Wow.
15:20 So that caused us to step back again and say,
15:23 "What on earth is going on?"
15:24 It was, it was scary, you know,
15:26 and we knew what we were up against.
15:29 But then we're like, man,
15:30 even those in the church can't survive.
15:31 I mean, it's such a scary thing.
15:33 And so we were like, you know what, no, like,
15:35 something has to be done.
15:36 You know what that was,
15:38 we didn't really know at the time,
15:39 but God was so gracious to send people
15:42 and to send resources and tools to us
15:45 to help us in those earlier stages
15:47 to kind of prepare us along the way
15:49 and it just so happened as we learned,
15:51 we came in contact with other people
15:53 and it just snowballed from there.
15:55 Yeah, and it's like with us, is not we don't go anywhere,
15:58 like yes, we're gonna fix it.
15:59 Right. We don't do that.
16:01 'Cause that is not what, you know...
16:03 But we're passionate about it...
16:05 Yeah.
16:06 People ask us questions,
16:07 we got married kind of early, you know, 23.
16:10 And so because of that,
16:13 we had kind of gone over some of the ground
16:15 that even our peers hadn't gone over
16:18 and so the discussions would just come up,
16:20 and we would just share things
16:21 that we were learning from our experiences.
16:23 We had children, of course, before a lot of our peers.
16:27 So they're like, man,
16:28 how don't you guys navigate this?
16:29 And we're like,
16:31 "Man, this is what God is teaching us."
16:32 And so it's kind of just,
16:34 you know, you help one person,
16:36 and then they refer someone else
16:38 and God has kind of been pushing us
16:41 in that direction.
16:42 Yeah. Wow, wow.
16:43 And I think one of the great things
16:45 is like you said, you did get married
16:47 at an early age but you've...
16:49 So now like when you counsel somebody
16:51 who may have,
16:53 they got married at an early age too
16:55 like you kind of reflect back to,
16:58 you know, what you guys were going through
17:00 during that particular time period
17:02 and talk to them and reach them where they are,
17:06 as well and the name of your ministry is?
17:09 Stamena4Life. Stamena4Life.
17:11 Stamena4Life,
17:13 and I know when people see it the name
17:14 is kind of spell kind of different.
17:15 We were trying to be cute
17:17 really it was me, it wasn't him.
17:20 In Stamena, you know,
17:21 spelled like a portamento,
17:22 right of his name of my name put together.
17:25 But really stamina, no matter what you go through
17:28 every relationship that you're in,
17:30 whether it's marriage, parenting,
17:32 or just trying to get along with your neighbor next door,
17:34 you're gonna need stamina,
17:36 you're gonna need to know how am I going to endure this
17:38 and what do I need to do?
17:39 What do I need to say,
17:40 you know, do I need to think differently?
17:42 Do I need to react differently?
17:43 It takes stamina 'cause it's hard work.
17:45 Yeah.
17:48 What would you say has been the biggest contributing factor
17:53 to the success of your marriage?
17:57 Wow, Jesus.
17:58 Hallelujah.
18:00 Of course, that's the, you know,
18:02 every little child in the, you know, what's the answer?
18:05 Jesus.
18:06 And, of course, we got to chime in and say,
18:08 obviously, that is divine intervention.
18:10 Definitely.
18:12 But I'll go back to something and I mentioned earlier,
18:15 some tools that were given to us
18:17 at the beginning of our marriage.
18:20 And I think those tools actually helped us
18:23 in the area of communication.
18:25 Yeah.
18:26 Because it was my mom,
18:28 the same mom that studied the Bible with her,
18:30 Oh, I got something for you, you need to listen
18:32 and I remember we just started listening
18:34 to these tapes
18:35 and as we were listening to them,
18:37 we would just press stop
18:38 and then we will begin to talk
18:41 about things and in ways
18:43 that we had not talked with anyone before,
18:47 much less each other.
18:49 And that kind of started a depth of communication.
18:52 And I think the reason why I think that's so powerful
18:54 is because the truth is many of us
18:55 are not given a vocabulary.
18:58 You know, if you're raised in a home
19:00 where people are cursing you out
19:01 or yelling at you, or they don't talk at all.
19:04 Some families don't talk about anything.
19:06 So you're not given a vocabulary
19:07 to know how to deal with conflict,
19:09 or how to deal with your feelings
19:10 or your emotions and so...
19:12 Or even to know
19:13 what those emotions or feelings are.
19:15 Yeah. Yeah.
19:16 And before the program,
19:18 we were sitting down and we were talking about,
19:21 was it emotional?
19:23 An emotional vocabulary.
19:24 Vocabulary? Yes, yeah.
19:26 We were actually on the way here.
19:28 Yeah.
19:29 We were listening and that's another thing
19:30 that God has placed on our hearts.
19:33 We don't know everything,
19:34 certainly don't have all the answers,
19:36 and the website
19:38 and all it doesn't have all the answers.
19:40 But we are constantly trying to improve
19:44 on what God has given us.
19:45 We're thankful,
19:46 but we're always reaching for something better
19:48 and so on the way here, we were listening
19:51 to something on parenting and we just again,
19:55 press pause and went into a two and a half hour conversation
19:58 'cause it takes about eight hours to get here
20:00 but two and a half hour conversation
20:03 about an emotional vocabulary.
20:05 Just being able to, first of all,
20:07 being able to acknowledge
20:08 and identify what this is that I'm feeling.
20:12 As I mentioned to you earlier that a lot of times as man,
20:15 you're told, don't cry, stop acting like a girl.
20:18 Thought that this then the other,
20:19 and the only emotion that you are kind of encouraged
20:23 towards or not punished for is anger.
20:27 And so that secondary emotion tends to,
20:30 it tends to be an umbrella
20:32 and covers all the primary emotions.
20:34 So I really don't understand
20:35 what I'm feeling when I feel hurt.
20:37 I'm not able to identify the fact
20:39 that I'm afraid, I'm fearful.
20:41 I'm not able to put my finger on the fact that I'm feeling,
20:45 I'm feeling rejected, right?
20:47 So I just get angry, right?
20:49 So if I don't have an emotional vocabulary,
20:52 then I'm unable to share with the people
20:54 who are important in my life,
20:56 what it is that I'm going through,
20:58 so they can't help me
20:59 and I'm unable to identify what it is I'm going through,
21:02 so I can't help myself either.
21:04 Of course, we know if you go to the doctor,
21:05 they're gonna say, "What's wrong?"
21:07 And imagine a patient
21:09 who doesn't have the language to be able to express
21:13 what it is that they're feeling,
21:15 it's gonna be extremely difficult,
21:16 almost impossible.
21:17 And then for some people that comes on in addiction,
21:20 you know, the pain we reflected into,
21:22 you know, drugs or food or pornography
21:25 or whatever the case may be and so,
21:27 it's so important and so, and it's funny enough,
21:30 our children were in the car with us.
21:32 And we began to dialogue with them,
21:34 you know, so if there's anything
21:35 that I'm so grateful for is that we have
21:38 not just between ourselves the communication,
21:40 but with our children also.
21:43 So what does a counseling session
21:45 with you guys look?
21:46 Oh, Lord.
21:48 What did that look like?
21:50 You know, I'll be honest, you know, at first it's raw.
21:54 Yeah.
21:55 So, but, you know, let me,
21:58 okay, if we're doing pre marriage counseling is raw
22:02 and we probably within the first 10 or 15 minutes,
22:06 they're like, why did we come here?
22:09 But we just want to ask people some very, like,
22:12 why do you think you're ready to get married?
22:14 You know, why do you feel like right now
22:17 that you're prepared for marriage?
22:18 And we never tell people like,
22:20 you know that they can't get married.
22:21 I mean, listen, unless you're like,
22:24 a crack addict or, you know,
22:25 like there's some serious going on,
22:26 then definitely will step in.
22:28 But for the most part is not up to us to tell you
22:30 whether or not you should or shouldn't get married.
22:32 We're there so that you're aware of the realities
22:34 of what marriage is and who you are as a person.
22:37 Because we believe that love is...
22:41 There's personal responsibility in choice
22:43 that's involved with love.
22:45 I can counsel you not to do something.
22:47 And I've done that before. Yeah.
22:48 And people have gone ahead and done.
22:50 It doesn't mean I don't love you anymore.
22:52 It just means you have a responsibility.
22:54 You made the choice.
22:56 You have to live with it.
22:57 But, so we're kind of, you know,
22:59 in your face with that,
23:01 and then with other couples, we are just encouraging them,
23:05 especially when couples come to us
23:07 and say we need help.
23:08 Well, tell us what, what it is you're dealing with.
23:12 You might may be may not be surprised
23:15 that how many couples will come to help for help,
23:18 and then they are ashamed
23:20 to actually tell you what they're going through.
23:21 Yeah.
23:23 So they'll sit there and be like,
23:24 yeah, well, you know,
23:25 we just haven't been getting along lately.
23:27 Really?
23:28 So y'all came all the way out here
23:29 to talk to us that
23:31 that's all haven't been getting along lately.
23:32 Well, welcome to the club, there's a lot of them.
23:33 So we try to encourage them,
23:35 hey, listen, if you're not upfront with us,
23:37 if you don't tell us,
23:39 we're not mind readers, we don't know.
23:41 So...
23:42 And that is a safe place.
23:44 You know, we don't talk about people's business,
23:46 you know, to other people.
23:47 So if people know that when they come to us,
23:49 they can be themselves, they can be honest,
23:51 there's nothing you can tell us that's gonna shock us
23:53 and say, "Oh my goodness."
23:55 No, you know, life is hard
23:57 but with God, all things are possible.
23:58 Amen.
24:00 I think the other thing is that we try to give hope.
24:02 Yeah, definitely.
24:03 We help and encourage,
24:05 we hope that we help encourage couples
24:06 that with God's help, you know,
24:09 no matter what our situation is,
24:11 He can fix it.
24:12 He can make something beautiful out of something that is,
24:15 it appears to be a complete and total disaster.
24:18 And we are, you know, our marriage,
24:21 we believe is an example of that.
24:23 Amen.
24:25 And what about parenting?
24:27 Oh, that's a whole another.
24:31 What kind of tips do you have
24:33 for maybe the young parent that's out there?
24:37 I would say let yourself off the hook,
24:40 and what I mean by that is,
24:41 you know, especially for new parents,
24:43 you come in so bright eyed which you should you know,
24:46 but you want to be perfect.
24:47 There is no perfect parent, you know, accept the help,
24:51 say help, wave the white flag
24:53 and say I'm having problems, I'm having trouble.
24:55 So if there's one thing I could say is,
24:57 you know, let yourself off the hook
24:59 and put Jesus on the pedestal, you know.
25:01 Yes, yes.
25:02 Yeah. Yeah.
25:04 For me, I'd probably say,
25:07 I said communication already.
25:09 But I think in the context of communication for us,
25:13 the best, some of the best times
25:15 that we have as a family is during family worship.
25:19 Oh, yeah.
25:21 And most of my sermons come from family worship.
25:24 He wouldn't have a sermon without us,
25:26 I am convinced, okay.
25:27 The questions and the ideas
25:30 that my family throw at one another
25:33 during family worship, like, wow,
25:35 I am gonna preach on that, that's great.
25:37 But it gives us an opportunity to talk.
25:39 Yeah.
25:40 My children can ask, you know,
25:42 the youngest one is eight, the oldest is 17.
25:44 They can ask us whatever they want to
25:46 and we try to find in the stories
25:49 of the Bible answers,
25:51 and I don't always have the answers,
25:53 but we can talk and say, "Hey, what do you think?"
25:55 And so communication with our children,
25:58 I think if you're looking for something
26:00 that's gonna be important, it's got to be that.
26:03 Yeah.
26:05 I want to put up a graphic of your contact information
26:08 because there might be somebody at home that's saying,
26:10 "We need to call them,
26:12 we need to, you know, get some counseling,
26:14 get some help with our marriage
26:16 or get some help with our relationship
26:18 or with our kids and parenting and all that stuff."
26:21 So how do people get in contact with you?
26:26 Well, Stamena4Life, you can reach us
26:28 at PO Box 871591,
26:33 Canton, Michigan 48187.
26:37 And if you want to email us,
26:38 you can reach us at Stamena4Life@gmail.com.
26:42 And you can also go to our website,
26:44 we're still updating it at the moment
26:45 but it's Stamena4Life.com.
26:50 Yep, wow, you know, one of the things
26:52 that I love about you guys is you're team, you know,
26:55 and I get that like, it comes across,
26:58 you can see that, like, even how you finished off the,
27:01 you know, you just pick up
27:03 right where the other one leaves off
27:04 and you're a solid team,
27:07 which in ministry like being a pastor,
27:10 and being a first lady,
27:12 that's got to be difficult
27:14 because people are putting you on that
27:16 that pedestal, too.
27:18 Yeah, let me just let you know.
27:20 She despises being called the first lady.
27:25 I do like I'm just Tammy and I get it, you know,
27:28 I understand the role that I am,
27:29 that it is a leadership role,
27:31 but at the end of the day, I have to be myself, you know,
27:34 I'm not the one you're gonna see with,
27:36 you know, fancy clothes, probably,
27:37 I have my moments but I got four kids,
27:39 I ain't got time for that.
27:40 But, you know,
27:42 I just got to be me and love the people.
27:43 Amen. Amen.
27:44 Well, I guess I've learned now
27:47 I will never call you a first lady again.
27:51 All right, well, thank you so much for coming on
27:53 and sharing with us.
27:54 And thank you for joining us.
27:56 Well, we've reached the end of another program.
27:58 Thanks for tuning in.
27:59 And remember,
28:00 it just wouldn't be the same without you.


Revised 2019-12-19