Participants:
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR190013A
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00:01 Stay tuned to meet a couple
00:02 who have dedicated their lives to urban ministry 00:04 and their journey will tell you why. 00:06 My name is Jason Bradley, 00:08 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:33 Hello and welcome to Urban Report. 00:35 My guests today are Pastor Steven Conway 00:38 and his lovely wife Tammy. 00:40 Welcome to Urban Report. 00:42 Thank you. Thank you. 00:43 It's great to have you guys here. 00:45 This is your first time here on Urban Report 00:49 and at 3ABN apparently. 00:51 Yes, yes. 00:52 Yes. So excited. 00:54 Well, I'm excited to have you. 00:57 Tell me a little bit about your background? 01:00 Well, we're both from Cleveland, Ohio. 01:04 Okay. 01:05 And we had an interesting, 01:09 well, we met in chemistry class. 01:11 Okay. 01:12 In John Jay Senior High School 01:15 but besides that, 01:19 I was born and raised, 01:22 been taken to church and what have you and, 01:27 but I didn't have a personal relationship 01:29 with the Lord Jesus. 01:30 Okay. 01:31 But I knew how to play the game. 01:33 I knew how to say Happy Sabbath, 01:34 praise the Lord, 01:36 Jesus is coming soon and all of that great stuff. 01:39 Meanwhile, I had no power in my life. 01:42 And so, for all intensive purposes, 01:45 I didn't believe that God existed, 01:47 or at least that everyone in church was faking, 01:49 because if I couldn't experience His power, 01:51 then why were all these other people 01:54 able to miraculously experience His power, 01:56 but God brought me through a conversion experience. 01:59 I was actually going door-to-door 02:01 doing colporteur evangelism out in Las Vegas, Nevada, 02:05 and I had an encounter with God. 02:07 We were staying in Las Vegas Junior Academy 02:10 and I remember the academy was empty 02:14 and I just got into a fight with my older brother. 02:17 And I was getting ready to pack my bags 02:20 and I heard God say to me, 02:21 "If you leave Steven, you'll be lost." 02:24 And I thought it was my brother. 02:25 So I looked around, nobody was there. 02:28 Again, "Steven, If you leave, you'll be lost." 02:31 So, for the first time in my life, I went, 02:35 lay prostrate by the exit door 02:38 and had a talk with the Lord and came out. 02:40 And God had literally transformed my life. 02:43 I know it didn't all happen that night. 02:44 He had been moving 02:46 and working in a variety of ways. 02:47 But that was a, 02:49 really a life changing moment for me, 02:52 which led me back to ultimately Cleveland, Ohio 02:55 where I wanted to reach out to the people 02:58 that I went to school with 02:59 and I was reaching out to a family 03:01 that was near and dear to my heart, 03:04 and in the process of reaching out to them 03:06 came back in contact 03:07 with this lovely young lady here. 03:08 It's me. 03:10 Okay, okay, so tell me little about your background? 03:12 As he said, we went to high school together 03:14 and I was not necessarily raised in a church going home. 03:18 You know, my parents told me about God, 03:20 the people who actually really gave me a foundation 03:24 as Christians were my grandparents, 03:26 but I was not around them very much, 03:27 you know, growing up. 03:29 What led me to God actually was a lot of mistakes 03:31 that I was making in my life 03:33 and as he said, you know, 03:34 we went to high school together, 03:36 I made, I did fairly well, you know, 03:39 I made it through high school. 03:41 I got a scholarship to college 03:42 and I felt like things were going great for me. 03:45 But unfortunately, the background 03:46 that I came from was abuse, a broken home, 03:49 and I kind of substituted success 03:51 for the reason why, 03:54 you know, I didn't really have to worry about those things. 03:56 But you know when we don't deal with things in our lives, 03:59 if we don't surrender them to God, 04:00 some of us don't even know what those things are, 04:02 they end up kind of creeping back 04:04 and that's what happened to me. 04:05 I ended up losing my scholarship, 04:06 I was dating a guy, I got pregnant, 04:09 ended up having an abortion. 04:10 I mean, life was just really going down the tubes 04:13 and that's when I cried out to God, 04:15 you know, and so I ended up through, 04:19 you know, I know the Lord was watching me, 04:21 and He was chasing me, I love to tell people that. 04:23 Yeah. 04:25 And a friend of mine invited me to church, 04:26 and I went, and from that point, 04:28 I was around 17 or 18 years old, 04:30 I just, I gave it all to God, I left that relationship, 04:33 all though I lost my college scholarship, 04:35 you know, the Lord was continually, 04:37 you know, working in my heart 04:38 and, and there was a point where I really began to ask God 04:42 to show me Himself, you know, 04:44 I knew there was something more. 04:45 I started off, you know, 04:47 going to the Pentecostal Church, 04:49 which is where my family, you know, was from, 04:51 but I knew that God has something more for me 04:53 and that's where this gentleman came back into the picture. 04:56 He had invited a group of us over to Bible study. 04:59 He ended up leaving and going back 05:00 to school into college, 05:02 and we continue to study, you know, 05:04 with his mother who I love, you know. 05:06 Given to mom. 05:08 Yeah, that's right. 05:09 And me and his mom had a lot in common. 05:11 She also came from an abuse background. 05:13 So, you know, God did something there. 05:15 And that was the beginning journey for me 05:18 to begin to not only heal, 05:19 but he began to kind of shift my purpose in life. 05:22 And I kind of look at him as an added bonus, 05:25 you know, to all of that, so you know. 05:27 I like that. Yeah. 05:29 All right. 05:30 Now, how did you transition into Adventism? 05:33 Wow, you know, it was interesting, 05:35 because though I was not necessarily 05:37 raised going to church, 05:38 you know, when you make a decision 05:40 to do something that's against the norm of society, 05:42 and for my family, everyone who went to church 05:45 when they did go, they went on Sunday. 05:47 And so when I began to kind of get acquainted with God's Word 05:51 and what the truth of His Word was, 05:53 and the Sabbath, 05:54 I went to church for Saturday and Sunday 05:56 for a long time. 05:58 And so it came a point 05:59 where it just didn't make any sense to do it anymore 06:01 and so I ended up leaving 06:03 and my home church in Ohio was Chesterville First Church, 06:06 and I loved my pastor and his wife there who, 06:09 even to this day have such an impact on my life. 06:11 Now, I didn't know I was gonna be married to a pastor. 06:14 And they really shaped the idea 06:17 that I have what ministry is to people 06:19 and the love for people and it was no-brainer. 06:22 I gave my heart to God 06:23 and I eventually got baptized as Seventh-day Adventist. 06:25 Nice. Yeah. 06:27 Nice. Yes. 06:28 You know, she left out a part that was kind of interesting. 06:32 Her aunt had been studying. Yeah. 06:35 And she had Amazing Facts Bible study. 06:37 She went to go visit her aunt. Yes. 06:39 She's studying, getting ready to get baptized 06:41 and her aunt. 06:42 She was sick. 06:44 She was sick one day, my mom, you know, 06:46 say let's go visit your aunt and I went to visit her 06:48 and when we went to the room, 06:49 she had all these Amazing Facts Bible studies on her bed 06:51 and when I saw those, I was like, 06:53 "Aunty, I know those, what are you doing?" 06:54 She's like, "Oh, sweetheart. 06:56 I've been looking at this guy on TV for a long time. 06:59 He's good." I said, "Yeah, he is." 07:01 Yeah. 07:02 And I said, you know, you know, you want to go to church. 07:04 She was like, "Why?" 07:06 I was like, well, "I'm a Seventh-day Adventist." 07:07 She was like, "I want to go..." 07:08 You know, and long story short, 07:10 I think she was probably baptized a month later. 07:11 Wow. Yeah. 07:13 Wow. Praise the Lord. 07:14 Yeah. Amen. 07:16 So you guys are also big on urban ministry. 07:19 Yes. Yes. 07:20 Talk a little bit about that? 07:22 Well, we are, the church that we're pastoring 07:24 is in Detroit, the city of Detroit 07:27 and, of course, both of us, 07:30 Tam and I, we grew up in the inner city. 07:32 Yeah. 07:33 So we know what it's like 07:35 to grow up in an urban environment. 07:38 We know some of the temptations, challenges, 07:41 pitfalls of growing up in that environment, 07:44 also, some of the opportunities as well. 07:47 And so, but I must confess 07:49 that initially I was quite hesitant about us, 07:55 you know, accepting the call to come and pastor 07:57 where we've been, but by the grace of God 08:00 we've been there for about eight years. 08:02 And God has been good to us. 08:04 He's been really, really good to us. 08:06 And right now we're working 08:08 on trying to do a center of influence 08:11 by the grace of God in Midtown Detroit, 08:14 and it's going to incorporate campus ministries 08:16 and food truck ministry 08:19 and some collaborative efforts 08:22 with the Detroit Public School System. 08:24 Okay. Nice. 08:26 How would you say 08:29 urban ministry has changed over the past 10 to 20 years? 08:32 Wow. 08:34 You know, I definitely feel like 08:37 when it comes to urban ministry, 08:38 most people look at the inner city 08:40 as a desolate place. 08:42 You know, they, look at it, and they think of crime 08:45 and they think of all these different things, 08:47 which to a certain degree that may be true, 08:49 but also there are a lot of good things 08:51 happening in the inner city. 08:53 And there's also a lot of people 08:54 who are searching and trying to find not just God, 08:59 but they want to restore their families, 09:01 they want to restore their health. 09:02 And so I think definitely, 09:05 ministry to the urban areas has definitely changed. 09:07 Now you see restaurants popping up 09:09 and people are more into healthy eating 09:11 and healthy living and you know, 09:13 urban farming and all these different things. 09:15 And so, it's definitely broadened. 09:18 Yeah, I also believe that kind of a misconception 09:22 that people have about urban ministry is that, 09:26 you know, you're only ministering 09:28 to a particular demographic of people. 09:31 But the reality is 09:33 there are literally hundreds of thousands of people 09:35 who commute from the suburbs into the inner city. 09:38 And so you really have a variety of different people 09:42 that you can reach if you're intentional and, 09:45 of course, if the Spirit of God is working with you, 09:47 so I think that's another nuance 09:50 that's changed kind of the approach 09:52 to urban ministry. 09:54 Yeah. 09:55 What would you say are some of the biggest needs 09:57 in the inner cities? 10:02 I would say definitely, as far as the inner city, 10:06 when it comes to housing and development, 10:11 there are a lot of people in the inner city 10:15 who need something better, you know, 10:18 and I think all too often we've painted a picture 10:21 of people who don't want to work 10:23 or who don't want to, you know, give back 10:25 and that's definitely not true. 10:27 If you go even where we are right now, 10:29 we are in a community that's called Brightmoor. 10:31 There are people who are actually sacrificing 10:33 and leaving their homes in the suburbs 10:36 and coming and buying property 10:38 and living there in the community 10:39 to make an impact. 10:41 And, you know, I know that for many people 10:42 that goes against probably what they feel 10:45 like we're counseled to do, but I do know for sure 10:48 that they are committed 10:50 to actually living amongst the people 10:52 as we would do if we would go to a country 10:55 outside of the US and serving them. 10:57 The inner city needs that as well. 10:58 Yes. 11:00 So what you're saying is 11:01 basically mission work can begin, 11:03 because you do see a lot of times 11:05 where people go out of the country 11:07 to participate in mission work, 11:09 but there is a huge mission field 11:12 right here in the United States. 11:14 Absolutely. 11:15 In fact, a few years ago, 11:17 we ran a program out of our church called Urban Mission, 11:21 Detroit where we, at the time we were working 11:24 with campus ministries, university students. 11:27 So what we did is we invited university students 11:30 to dedicate their summer to come 11:33 and do mission work, 11:34 but in an urban setting. 11:36 So we taught them gardening, 11:38 we focused on reading comprehension, 11:40 as well as trying to build mathematical abilities as well. 11:44 So we had about six young people 11:46 who came and dedicated themselves 11:48 and they made a tremendous impact 11:50 in our community 11:52 and I think I'll kind of back to your earlier question 11:54 in terms of what's the greatest need. 11:56 There's this quote, 11:58 as the twig is bent, the tree is inclined. 12:01 And I think a lot of times, efforts in the inner city 12:05 or in urban environments are geared towards adults, 12:09 and that's great, we need that. 12:11 But I think what we also need is we need efforts 12:14 that are geared towards the little twigs 12:15 that are coming up, 12:17 that represent the next 10 or 15 years in that program, 12:22 Urban Mission, Detroit, 12:23 we literally saw about two generations. 12:27 Yeah. 12:28 One of the young men whose home I visited him, 12:33 he said his grandmother was in jail for life, 12:36 you know, for murder. 12:37 Wow. 12:39 So, one of the other brother in the program and myself, 12:41 we were trying to counsel him and helping him 12:44 to get along better with his mom and whatnot, 12:46 and we were able to see him actually grow up, 12:52 and now he has children. 12:53 Wow. 12:54 And so we were able to come in contact 12:56 through targeting the children with three generations 13:00 and just to let you know, 13:01 man, the devil is out for generations. 13:05 He's not after just one person here or there. 13:07 He's out. 13:09 I'm gonna get grandma, I'm gonna get mama, 13:11 I'm gonna get grandchild, I'm gonna get great grandchild. 13:14 And I think as Christians who are doing urban ministry, 13:17 we need to be begin to think 13:18 along those same lines generationally, 13:20 and one of the generations 13:22 that's been left out is the children. 13:25 Speaking of children, and speaking of family 13:27 and speaking of generations, 13:28 legacy and all of those things, you guys are big on family. 13:32 Yeah. Right? 13:34 We actually have a picture of you and your family. 13:37 Yes. 13:39 And look at that. 13:41 They're a lot bigger than then. 13:42 They are way bigger than that now. 13:44 There they are. Yup. 13:46 So you also do marriage counseling, 13:50 talk to us about that ministry? 13:53 Wow. 13:54 Well, you know, the funny thing about that 13:56 is like I said earlier, 13:57 we both come from broken beginnings. 14:00 You know, my parents divorced when I was around nine, 14:02 my dad was an alcoholic so I saw abuse in the home, 14:05 sexual abuse I experienced 14:07 and my husband, you know, coming from, 14:09 you know, a broken, you know, beginning. 14:11 We knew we were set up to fail, make no mistake about it, 14:15 we were not supposed to make it. 14:17 And so when we knew that we were going 14:20 to be forming a nucleus or a family, 14:23 we began to experience some struggle. 14:25 It was hard, you know, the first couple of years. 14:27 Yeah, I think, you know, and there, 14:29 there are definitely some markers, 14:32 'cause we got married and like everybody, 14:34 oh, we love Jesus. 14:36 Jesus is coming again, love is all you need. 14:40 And, you know, the Lord intervened 14:43 because we were trying to do things 14:45 in harmony with principle and want to be, 14:48 want to involve our families and all that which we did. 14:51 But God began to instruct us 14:53 and teach us some things about ourselves 14:56 that we really didn't know 14:58 and He did that within the first year or so 15:00 of our marriage and what we realize is 15:03 because a lot of our friends in the church 15:07 and those who were secular friends 15:09 had gotten married around the same time 15:11 and within about two years of being married, 15:14 we found that probably about 90% had divorced. 15:18 Wow. 15:20 So that caused us to step back again and say, 15:23 "What on earth is going on?" 15:24 It was, it was scary, you know, 15:26 and we knew what we were up against. 15:29 But then we're like, man, 15:30 even those in the church can't survive. 15:31 I mean, it's such a scary thing. 15:33 And so we were like, you know what, no, like, 15:35 something has to be done. 15:36 You know what that was, 15:38 we didn't really know at the time, 15:39 but God was so gracious to send people 15:42 and to send resources and tools to us 15:45 to help us in those earlier stages 15:47 to kind of prepare us along the way 15:49 and it just so happened as we learned, 15:51 we came in contact with other people 15:53 and it just snowballed from there. 15:55 Yeah, and it's like with us, is not we don't go anywhere, 15:58 like yes, we're gonna fix it. 15:59 Right. We don't do that. 16:01 'Cause that is not what, you know... 16:03 But we're passionate about it... 16:05 Yeah. 16:06 People ask us questions, 16:07 we got married kind of early, you know, 23. 16:10 And so because of that, 16:13 we had kind of gone over some of the ground 16:15 that even our peers hadn't gone over 16:18 and so the discussions would just come up, 16:20 and we would just share things 16:21 that we were learning from our experiences. 16:23 We had children, of course, before a lot of our peers. 16:27 So they're like, man, 16:28 how don't you guys navigate this? 16:29 And we're like, 16:31 "Man, this is what God is teaching us." 16:32 And so it's kind of just, 16:34 you know, you help one person, 16:36 and then they refer someone else 16:38 and God has kind of been pushing us 16:41 in that direction. 16:42 Yeah. Wow, wow. 16:43 And I think one of the great things 16:45 is like you said, you did get married 16:47 at an early age but you've... 16:49 So now like when you counsel somebody 16:51 who may have, 16:53 they got married at an early age too 16:55 like you kind of reflect back to, 16:58 you know, what you guys were going through 17:00 during that particular time period 17:02 and talk to them and reach them where they are, 17:06 as well and the name of your ministry is? 17:09 Stamena4Life. Stamena4Life. 17:11 Stamena4Life, 17:13 and I know when people see it the name 17:14 is kind of spell kind of different. 17:15 We were trying to be cute 17:17 really it was me, it wasn't him. 17:20 In Stamena, you know, 17:21 spelled like a portamento, 17:22 right of his name of my name put together. 17:25 But really stamina, no matter what you go through 17:28 every relationship that you're in, 17:30 whether it's marriage, parenting, 17:32 or just trying to get along with your neighbor next door, 17:34 you're gonna need stamina, 17:36 you're gonna need to know how am I going to endure this 17:38 and what do I need to do? 17:39 What do I need to say, 17:40 you know, do I need to think differently? 17:42 Do I need to react differently? 17:43 It takes stamina 'cause it's hard work. 17:45 Yeah. 17:48 What would you say has been the biggest contributing factor 17:53 to the success of your marriage? 17:57 Wow, Jesus. 17:58 Hallelujah. 18:00 Of course, that's the, you know, 18:02 every little child in the, you know, what's the answer? 18:05 Jesus. 18:06 And, of course, we got to chime in and say, 18:08 obviously, that is divine intervention. 18:10 Definitely. 18:12 But I'll go back to something and I mentioned earlier, 18:15 some tools that were given to us 18:17 at the beginning of our marriage. 18:20 And I think those tools actually helped us 18:23 in the area of communication. 18:25 Yeah. 18:26 Because it was my mom, 18:28 the same mom that studied the Bible with her, 18:30 Oh, I got something for you, you need to listen 18:32 and I remember we just started listening 18:34 to these tapes 18:35 and as we were listening to them, 18:37 we would just press stop 18:38 and then we will begin to talk 18:41 about things and in ways 18:43 that we had not talked with anyone before, 18:47 much less each other. 18:49 And that kind of started a depth of communication. 18:52 And I think the reason why I think that's so powerful 18:54 is because the truth is many of us 18:55 are not given a vocabulary. 18:58 You know, if you're raised in a home 19:00 where people are cursing you out 19:01 or yelling at you, or they don't talk at all. 19:04 Some families don't talk about anything. 19:06 So you're not given a vocabulary 19:07 to know how to deal with conflict, 19:09 or how to deal with your feelings 19:10 or your emotions and so... 19:12 Or even to know 19:13 what those emotions or feelings are. 19:15 Yeah. Yeah. 19:16 And before the program, 19:18 we were sitting down and we were talking about, 19:21 was it emotional? 19:23 An emotional vocabulary. 19:24 Vocabulary? Yes, yeah. 19:26 We were actually on the way here. 19:28 Yeah. 19:29 We were listening and that's another thing 19:30 that God has placed on our hearts. 19:33 We don't know everything, 19:34 certainly don't have all the answers, 19:36 and the website 19:38 and all it doesn't have all the answers. 19:40 But we are constantly trying to improve 19:44 on what God has given us. 19:45 We're thankful, 19:46 but we're always reaching for something better 19:48 and so on the way here, we were listening 19:51 to something on parenting and we just again, 19:55 press pause and went into a two and a half hour conversation 19:58 'cause it takes about eight hours to get here 20:00 but two and a half hour conversation 20:03 about an emotional vocabulary. 20:05 Just being able to, first of all, 20:07 being able to acknowledge 20:08 and identify what this is that I'm feeling. 20:12 As I mentioned to you earlier that a lot of times as man, 20:15 you're told, don't cry, stop acting like a girl. 20:18 Thought that this then the other, 20:19 and the only emotion that you are kind of encouraged 20:23 towards or not punished for is anger. 20:27 And so that secondary emotion tends to, 20:30 it tends to be an umbrella 20:32 and covers all the primary emotions. 20:34 So I really don't understand 20:35 what I'm feeling when I feel hurt. 20:37 I'm not able to identify the fact 20:39 that I'm afraid, I'm fearful. 20:41 I'm not able to put my finger on the fact that I'm feeling, 20:45 I'm feeling rejected, right? 20:47 So I just get angry, right? 20:49 So if I don't have an emotional vocabulary, 20:52 then I'm unable to share with the people 20:54 who are important in my life, 20:56 what it is that I'm going through, 20:58 so they can't help me 20:59 and I'm unable to identify what it is I'm going through, 21:02 so I can't help myself either. 21:04 Of course, we know if you go to the doctor, 21:05 they're gonna say, "What's wrong?" 21:07 And imagine a patient 21:09 who doesn't have the language to be able to express 21:13 what it is that they're feeling, 21:15 it's gonna be extremely difficult, 21:16 almost impossible. 21:17 And then for some people that comes on in addiction, 21:20 you know, the pain we reflected into, 21:22 you know, drugs or food or pornography 21:25 or whatever the case may be and so, 21:27 it's so important and so, and it's funny enough, 21:30 our children were in the car with us. 21:32 And we began to dialogue with them, 21:34 you know, so if there's anything 21:35 that I'm so grateful for is that we have 21:38 not just between ourselves the communication, 21:40 but with our children also. 21:43 So what does a counseling session 21:45 with you guys look? 21:46 Oh, Lord. 21:48 What did that look like? 21:50 You know, I'll be honest, you know, at first it's raw. 21:54 Yeah. 21:55 So, but, you know, let me, 21:58 okay, if we're doing pre marriage counseling is raw 22:02 and we probably within the first 10 or 15 minutes, 22:06 they're like, why did we come here? 22:09 But we just want to ask people some very, like, 22:12 why do you think you're ready to get married? 22:14 You know, why do you feel like right now 22:17 that you're prepared for marriage? 22:18 And we never tell people like, 22:20 you know that they can't get married. 22:21 I mean, listen, unless you're like, 22:24 a crack addict or, you know, 22:25 like there's some serious going on, 22:26 then definitely will step in. 22:28 But for the most part is not up to us to tell you 22:30 whether or not you should or shouldn't get married. 22:32 We're there so that you're aware of the realities 22:34 of what marriage is and who you are as a person. 22:37 Because we believe that love is... 22:41 There's personal responsibility in choice 22:43 that's involved with love. 22:45 I can counsel you not to do something. 22:47 And I've done that before. Yeah. 22:48 And people have gone ahead and done. 22:50 It doesn't mean I don't love you anymore. 22:52 It just means you have a responsibility. 22:54 You made the choice. 22:56 You have to live with it. 22:57 But, so we're kind of, you know, 22:59 in your face with that, 23:01 and then with other couples, we are just encouraging them, 23:05 especially when couples come to us 23:07 and say we need help. 23:08 Well, tell us what, what it is you're dealing with. 23:12 You might may be may not be surprised 23:15 that how many couples will come to help for help, 23:18 and then they are ashamed 23:20 to actually tell you what they're going through. 23:21 Yeah. 23:23 So they'll sit there and be like, 23:24 yeah, well, you know, 23:25 we just haven't been getting along lately. 23:27 Really? 23:28 So y'all came all the way out here 23:29 to talk to us that 23:31 that's all haven't been getting along lately. 23:32 Well, welcome to the club, there's a lot of them. 23:33 So we try to encourage them, 23:35 hey, listen, if you're not upfront with us, 23:37 if you don't tell us, 23:39 we're not mind readers, we don't know. 23:41 So... 23:42 And that is a safe place. 23:44 You know, we don't talk about people's business, 23:46 you know, to other people. 23:47 So if people know that when they come to us, 23:49 they can be themselves, they can be honest, 23:51 there's nothing you can tell us that's gonna shock us 23:53 and say, "Oh my goodness." 23:55 No, you know, life is hard 23:57 but with God, all things are possible. 23:58 Amen. 24:00 I think the other thing is that we try to give hope. 24:02 Yeah, definitely. 24:03 We help and encourage, 24:05 we hope that we help encourage couples 24:06 that with God's help, you know, 24:09 no matter what our situation is, 24:11 He can fix it. 24:12 He can make something beautiful out of something that is, 24:15 it appears to be a complete and total disaster. 24:18 And we are, you know, our marriage, 24:21 we believe is an example of that. 24:23 Amen. 24:25 And what about parenting? 24:27 Oh, that's a whole another. 24:31 What kind of tips do you have 24:33 for maybe the young parent that's out there? 24:37 I would say let yourself off the hook, 24:40 and what I mean by that is, 24:41 you know, especially for new parents, 24:43 you come in so bright eyed which you should you know, 24:46 but you want to be perfect. 24:47 There is no perfect parent, you know, accept the help, 24:51 say help, wave the white flag 24:53 and say I'm having problems, I'm having trouble. 24:55 So if there's one thing I could say is, 24:57 you know, let yourself off the hook 24:59 and put Jesus on the pedestal, you know. 25:01 Yes, yes. 25:02 Yeah. Yeah. 25:04 For me, I'd probably say, 25:07 I said communication already. 25:09 But I think in the context of communication for us, 25:13 the best, some of the best times 25:15 that we have as a family is during family worship. 25:19 Oh, yeah. 25:21 And most of my sermons come from family worship. 25:24 He wouldn't have a sermon without us, 25:26 I am convinced, okay. 25:27 The questions and the ideas 25:30 that my family throw at one another 25:33 during family worship, like, wow, 25:35 I am gonna preach on that, that's great. 25:37 But it gives us an opportunity to talk. 25:39 Yeah. 25:40 My children can ask, you know, 25:42 the youngest one is eight, the oldest is 17. 25:44 They can ask us whatever they want to 25:46 and we try to find in the stories 25:49 of the Bible answers, 25:51 and I don't always have the answers, 25:53 but we can talk and say, "Hey, what do you think?" 25:55 And so communication with our children, 25:58 I think if you're looking for something 26:00 that's gonna be important, it's got to be that. 26:03 Yeah. 26:05 I want to put up a graphic of your contact information 26:08 because there might be somebody at home that's saying, 26:10 "We need to call them, 26:12 we need to, you know, get some counseling, 26:14 get some help with our marriage 26:16 or get some help with our relationship 26:18 or with our kids and parenting and all that stuff." 26:21 So how do people get in contact with you? 26:26 Well, Stamena4Life, you can reach us 26:28 at PO Box 871591, 26:33 Canton, Michigan 48187. 26:37 And if you want to email us, 26:38 you can reach us at Stamena4Life@gmail.com. 26:42 And you can also go to our website, 26:44 we're still updating it at the moment 26:45 but it's Stamena4Life.com. 26:50 Yep, wow, you know, one of the things 26:52 that I love about you guys is you're team, you know, 26:55 and I get that like, it comes across, 26:58 you can see that, like, even how you finished off the, 27:01 you know, you just pick up 27:03 right where the other one leaves off 27:04 and you're a solid team, 27:07 which in ministry like being a pastor, 27:10 and being a first lady, 27:12 that's got to be difficult 27:14 because people are putting you on that 27:16 that pedestal, too. 27:18 Yeah, let me just let you know. 27:20 She despises being called the first lady. 27:25 I do like I'm just Tammy and I get it, you know, 27:28 I understand the role that I am, 27:29 that it is a leadership role, 27:31 but at the end of the day, I have to be myself, you know, 27:34 I'm not the one you're gonna see with, 27:36 you know, fancy clothes, probably, 27:37 I have my moments but I got four kids, 27:39 I ain't got time for that. 27:40 But, you know, 27:42 I just got to be me and love the people. 27:43 Amen. Amen. 27:44 Well, I guess I've learned now 27:47 I will never call you a first lady again. 27:51 All right, well, thank you so much for coming on 27:53 and sharing with us. 27:54 And thank you for joining us. 27:56 Well, we've reached the end of another program. 27:58 Thanks for tuning in. 27:59 And remember, 28:00 it just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2019-12-19