Urban Report

Identity Crisis Unraveled

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript



Series Code: UBR

Program Code: UBR200005S

00:01 Stay tuned to meet a woman
00:02 who had her identity crisis unraveled.
00:04 My name is Jason Bradley
00:06 and you're watching Urban Report.
00:30 Hello, and welcome to Urban Report.
00:32 Today's program is one that is sensitive in nature
00:35 and viewer discretion is advised.
00:37 If you are a parent and you have young children,
00:40 we suggest that you watch this program first,
00:43 and then determine whether or not
00:44 it is suitable for your children.
00:46 My guests today are Michael Carducci,
00:48 Co-Founder of 'Coming Out' Ministries and Kezia Chisholm,
00:52 the Associate Speaker of 'Coming Out' Ministries.
00:55 Well, one of the associate speakers
00:57 of 'Coming Out' Ministries.
00:58 Welcome to Urban Report, guys. It's great to be here.
01:01 Yes. It's great to have you here.
01:02 Mike, you're no stranger to 3ABN, to Dare to Dream.
01:06 Kezia, this is your first time here.
01:08 Yes, it is.
01:10 And we're excited to dive into your testimony
01:14 and hear a little bit about your background.
01:17 But, Mike, why don't you start by telling us
01:19 a little bit about 'Coming Out' Ministries,
01:21 and then transition into how you met Kezia?
01:24 Sure, 'Coming Out' Ministries was started 10 years ago.
01:27 And it was by five individuals
01:29 that were coming out of LGBT lives
01:32 into a relationship with Jesus Christ.
01:34 And I thought as one of those people
01:35 that I was the only one,
01:37 but then when we found that there were other people,
01:40 we thought, "Well, if one testimony was good,
01:42 then imagine the power of five testimonies."
01:44 So 'Coming Out' Ministries
01:46 was about five different ministries
01:48 coming together.
01:49 And it's now grown into this amazing opportunity
01:53 to go internationally and speaking about
01:55 the power of Jesus Christ to restore lives.
01:58 And why do you feel that
01:59 that is so relevant in today's society?
02:03 You know, there was nobody talking about this issue
02:05 when I was a young person and walked out
02:07 of the church culture 40 years ago.
02:09 So then coming back
02:10 into church culture 20 years ago,
02:12 thinking, surely we were talking about this issue.
02:14 I think that a lot of people, it's a very uncomfortable
02:18 and taboo subject matter,
02:20 but it's something that has minimized
02:21 and marginalized people
02:23 that are struggling with identity issues.
02:25 And a lot of our youth walk away
02:26 from church culture, not necessarily
02:28 because they're not getting
02:30 an understanding of Jesus Christ,
02:33 but they're not knowing how to bring in a sexuality
02:36 and religion together.
02:37 And that was the reason why I walked out of the church.
02:40 Wow. Wow. Wow.
02:42 I have an interesting quote that I'd like to share.
02:44 And it actually comes from Testimonies on Sexual Behavior,
02:47 Adultery, and Divorce,
02:48 but it talks about Satan's repetitious plot.
02:50 Listen to this, 100 years ago, Ellen White wrote.
02:53 She said, "Near the close of this earth's history
02:56 Satan will work with all his powers
02:58 in the same manner and with the same temptations
03:01 wherewith he tempted ancient Israel
03:02 just before they're entering the Land of Promise.
03:05 He will lay snares for those
03:07 who claim to keep the commandments of God,
03:09 and who are almost on the borders
03:11 of the heavenly Canaan.
03:12 He will use his powers to the utmost in order
03:14 to entrap souls
03:16 and to take God's professed people
03:17 upon their weakest points.
03:19 Those who have not brought
03:20 the lower passions into subjection
03:22 to the higher powers of their being,
03:24 those who have allowed their minds to flow
03:25 in the channel of carnal indulgence
03:27 of the baser passions,
03:29 Satan is determined to destroy with his temptations
03:32 to pollute their souls with licentiousness."
03:34 It's interesting when I speak at universities,
03:38 academies, at churches, pastor's retreats, you know,
03:41 the power of the internet on the cell phones
03:44 and our smart devices has really ramped up
03:47 pornography addiction and sexual addiction.
03:50 And so when I met Kezia a few years ago in Cuba,
03:54 we were working together on a mission trip
03:57 and as I started to hear Kezia story
03:59 about her sexual compromises, and then asking her, you know,
04:03 "Well, you know, you know about biblical sexuality, don't you?"
04:06 And her response to me was, "Well, basically, no."
04:09 She didn't get that education from her home.
04:11 And she wasn't getting it in the church
04:13 and that was when my eyes were open to this quote,
04:17 where I realized that the prophet of the Lord told us
04:20 over 100 years ago,
04:21 what the end time issue is gonna be
04:23 and yet there are no programs,
04:25 there are no sermons taught about it.
04:27 And so 'Coming Out' Ministries
04:29 relevance is really about the fact
04:30 that we're not afraid to talk about it,
04:32 but we also do it in a redemptive way
04:34 instead of instructing children or young people or even adults,
04:38 but pointing them to Jesus Christ
04:39 in the restoration
04:41 that He has available for each one of us.
04:42 Yeah. And which is beautiful.
04:45 I love 'Coming Out' Ministries because it is, you guys,
04:47 do discuss topics that need to be talked about,
04:51 you know, people are being educated in the streets,
04:53 but they're not being educated in the home
04:55 or in the church on the specific topic.
04:58 So, Jason, thanks for Urban Report.
05:00 We're so grateful because
05:01 now we are talking about it here.
05:03 And we are educating people
05:04 through the ability to be here with you today.
05:07 So we're just as grateful to you.
05:10 Glad to have you here.
05:12 And, Kezia, let's go ahead and jump into your background.
05:14 You're biracial, correct? I am.
05:17 You know, identity seems to be the issue of the day.
05:21 As a biracial person, excuse me,
05:25 how has identity affected you as a little girl?
05:29 It played a really big role for me,
05:31 especially because just seeing how when it came to my mom,
05:33 who was the woman who's that girl that, you know,
05:35 I'm looking up to,
05:37 and I realized I didn't look like her.
05:38 And so automatically it already played a lot within my mind
05:41 just seeing that, you know,
05:43 she was fairer skinned, you know,
05:44 she's from the Philippines.
05:46 Her hair is straight, my hair is curly,
05:47 and then what's when it was with my dad.
05:49 My dad, he's Guyane.
05:50 So him and I connected more with, you know,
05:52 just being black being that he's from Guyana,
05:55 so I always related more with him,
05:57 but just seeing how over time, there were some differences,
06:00 especially just growing up in Brooklyn, New York,
06:02 it wasn't really big at that time
06:04 in regards to interracial relationships.
06:06 So it did play a role in regards to how I saw myself
06:09 and just trying to always pick one side
06:11 and not think that I could just be, you know,
06:13 happy with how God had made me.
06:15 Yes. Wow.
06:16 So you felt like you had to pick it...
06:18 Yeah, for sure. Okay. Okay.
06:20 Now was your father always in the home?
06:22 No, he wasn't. Over time he actually had left.
06:26 So for most of my childhood,
06:29 he was present, he was active, you know, mom and dad,
06:31 you know, they were doing things,
06:33 being that they were married for some time,
06:35 and then eventually,
06:36 sometimes things don't always go as planned.
06:39 And eventually they ended up getting a divorce.
06:41 So with him leaving that really did play
06:43 a big part in some of the things
06:45 I had turned to and looking for love.
06:48 So when I was around 12, he ended up leaving
06:51 and that was a big, a really down,
06:54 a really spiraled effect for me,
06:57 where I just saw that, you know,
06:59 him leaving it caused me to really break down
07:01 and looking towards to other things
07:03 to really fill that hole.
07:05 That love that I was looking for
07:07 since he had decided to leave.
07:10 Have you ever had any issues like as a kid, you know,
07:14 sometimes you hear about children being molested?
07:17 Was that ever anything that happened to you?
07:20 I wouldn't necessarily call it molestation at that time,
07:23 but when I was about the age of four and five,
07:25 I did have my first sexual encounter.
07:28 And this was at school, I had gone to a public school.
07:30 And when the situation had happened,
07:33 it was with another girl.
07:34 So I was just under the impression
07:36 that when it came to sex, that, you know,
07:38 it was okay to have sex with girls.
07:40 So when this girl started touching me,
07:42 I didn't think it was a problem because I wasn't taught that,
07:45 you know, if something happens,
07:47 you should say something or if someone,
07:48 you know, touches you in a way
07:49 that you're not supposed to be touched,
07:51 that you should tell your mom or dad or,
07:52 you know, telling a teacher, so I just always kept that,
07:55 I didn't think it would be a big issue over time,
07:58 and then eventually few years down the line at daycare,
08:02 I ended up having another sexual encounter.
08:05 And this time it was with another group of girls.
08:08 And so this just really opened my eyes to now
08:10 just having like group sex.
08:12 So over time,
08:14 I was just thinking that this was okay,
08:15 especially when it came to sex that sex with girls
08:18 or even in a group setting that this was fine.
08:20 Wow, you thought it was the norm?
08:22 Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
08:23 Yeah.
08:25 How did that experience shape your life?
08:28 Oh, major way for sure
08:31 'cause I always just thought that,
08:33 you know, if I'm feeling sad or stressed out
08:36 that I could just always turn to that,
08:37 especially when my parents divorced.
08:39 I just thought that because of all the anger I had,
08:42 I really stored it within me,
08:45 I didn't really look to God at that time.
08:47 God wasn't really the center of my life.
08:50 I'm really just looked at Him more so as a genie,
08:52 just, you know, if I needed something,
08:54 He would grant that desire to me.
08:56 And so with just having that sexual background,
08:59 I just figured you know what,
09:00 I'll just turn to, you know, having sex with guys or girls.
09:04 And so it just opened up a wide range of things
09:07 where I would just look to like smoking weed,
09:10 or whether it was drinking or partying.
09:13 I just know I had like a lot of suicidal thoughts,
09:15 especially during my teenage years,
09:17 where I was just trying to, you know,
09:19 fill my mind or rather numb it
09:20 with what the how I was really feeling deep down
09:23 with my dad leaving.
09:25 So there was a lot of pain. Yeah.
09:27 A lot of pain.
09:28 And so you coped by, you know,
09:31 drugs, experimenting with drugs?
09:33 Yeah. Okay.
09:36 Is it possible to say also that there was a lot of loneliness?
09:39 You know, you didn't have any brothers and sisters,
09:42 not only to help you identify with who you were...
09:44 Yeah.
09:45 You know, all you had were these two parents that were,
09:47 you know, polar opposites of each other
09:50 and you were the product of that.
09:52 You know, I wonder how much that played into it.
09:54 You know, the fact that you were the only kid at home
09:57 and here you've got your parents
09:58 that are, you know, splitting up
09:59 and you had no one else for support.
10:01 Yeah, it really played a big role
10:03 because at that time I just thought that
10:05 this was okay
10:06 that I could turn to all these things
10:08 in regards to just finding comfort in it.
10:11 And so, it just left me more empty than before.
10:14 So, you know, you're turning to something,
10:15 trying to find some sort of comfort,
10:16 but really deep down,
10:18 it was just leaving me more broken.
10:19 And just seeing that
10:21 I needed more of it to fill me up,
10:22 even if it left me more broken than before.
10:26 Did you ever share
10:28 your experiences with anyone that could help?
10:31 No.
10:32 Well, I know at times,
10:33 especially during my teenage years
10:35 because I had a lot of anger issues.
10:37 I did have some teachers telling me, you know,
10:39 to see a counselor, so, you know,
10:41 I started counseling just for a little bit,
10:43 but it wasn't anything consistent.
10:45 For the most part, I just really bottled up
10:47 a lot of the things I was going through
10:48 because I didn't really think that
10:50 anybody cared about what was going on.
10:52 I knew that my mom she was working hard
10:55 and trying to maintain the home because now for her
10:57 it was just trying to manage this new life.
11:00 You know, after her husband leaving,
11:01 becoming a new single mother,
11:04 trying to figure out how do I now,
11:05 you know, help my daughter in growing up,
11:07 but at the same time trying to make sure
11:09 she was providing for the home.
11:11 So she had a lot on her plate just trying to, you know,
11:13 address what she could, but for me deep down
11:16 because I was just so angry.
11:17 It was just a lot of bottling up
11:19 of the pain going on.
11:21 Mike? So this is interesting.
11:23 When we were talking and recently,
11:25 I just realized that your identity issue
11:27 was totally different than mine.
11:29 I was a child that was transgender,
11:31 and then eventually, same sex attracted,
11:34 but your gender or your identity issue
11:37 was really about the race thing.
11:39 And you have an incredible story
11:40 about when you were going to school,
11:42 and your mom and dad
11:43 were walking you into the classroom.
11:44 I thought this was really powerful.
11:46 Yeah, it was some,
11:47 so this was around the time of middle school.
11:49 So I think it was like going into fifth grade.
11:52 And so the school I was going to
11:54 was predominantly a Caribbean school,
11:56 and I remember the students
11:57 just lining up in the school yard
11:59 and there were like a few Asians I could see,
12:02 but majority of the students were Caribbean, were black.
12:05 And so I remember my mom was on one side,
12:07 and then my dad was on my other hand.
12:09 And so, you know,
12:10 they're both walking into school.
12:11 And then I just told my mom, you know,
12:13 mom you can let go of my hand because you're yellow,
12:15 and I'm black.
12:16 So it was just one of those things
12:17 where I didn't think that it was ever okay
12:19 to just be both that
12:21 I was always just trying to pick one side.
12:23 And I had to be one simply because,
12:25 you know, I looked black, but, you know, over time,
12:28 then I was realizing that it was okay for me to be both
12:30 that's how God had created me.
12:33 Okay. Wow.
12:34 Yeah, that's deep.
12:36 So what would you say your relationship was like
12:40 with your mom over time?
12:43 Yeah, over time it's definitely gotten better.
12:44 I'd say as I was going through recovery
12:48 because a lot of the things that I was going through
12:50 during my teenage years where I was trying to cope,
12:53 I had turned to especially when it comes like
12:55 pornography and masturbation.
12:58 I just thought that that was okay.
12:59 And I was realizing, I was turning to those things
13:02 because of the broken relationship
13:03 I had at home.
13:04 And so over time, you know, when I had met Mike in Cuba,
13:08 that's where I realized that, you know, I had an addiction
13:10 that I had a problem that I really had to get help.
13:13 And so through that experience in getting help
13:15 with the pornography, the masturbation
13:17 as I was going through recovery,
13:19 I was realizing that there was a lot more things
13:20 I had to address that it wasn't
13:22 just the pornography and masturbation issue,
13:25 but there also was trauma
13:26 that I hadn't dealt with from childhood.
13:28 So at that point within Cuba, where I realized that,
13:31 you know, I have an addiction,
13:33 God is asking me to let go of that.
13:35 He was also asking me to let go of other things.
13:38 And that happened like
13:40 the resentment towards my parents
13:41 because I had to realize over time that,
13:43 you know, things happen.
13:45 As a child, I don't have control over that,
13:47 but to recognize that,
13:49 as I was getting help with the addiction,
13:51 that God had also allowed me to get healing with my parents
13:55 seeking reconciliation, taking time out
13:58 to really talk to them and ask them,
14:00 you know what went on, why did that happen?
14:02 Because I, even though I had met Mike,
14:05 a few years ago, I realized that the divorce,
14:09 the issues that I was still holding on to
14:11 was about 14, 15 years later,
14:13 from the time my dad had left, but I was still angry over it,
14:17 which really made a lot of sense as
14:18 to why I continued in a very promiscuous lifestyle,
14:23 just trying to find some sort of a love somewhere...
14:26 And acceptance. For sure.
14:29 So, Kezia, you were very covert,
14:31 there's just, you know, I spent time with you and,
14:34 you know, there in Cuba and there's no way I saw any,
14:37 you know, anger residue whatever.
14:39 I mean, she was bubbly. She was vivacious.
14:41 She was a very dynamic speaker.
14:43 She's talking about the sanctuary
14:45 and with your background in construction,
14:47 and how all of that
14:48 had this application to us spiritually.
14:50 And, you know, so when you said that
14:52 you struggled with anger I'm thinking,
14:54 "Well, where did that come from?"
14:55 'Cause you would never know. Yeah.
14:58 So how did you cover that up so well?
15:00 Yeah.
15:02 It was really interesting because I knew that
15:06 'Coming Out' Ministries was going to be
15:08 a part of that mission group that I was on.
15:10 And so I didn't really know
15:12 how things were going to work out.
15:13 There was a group of about 18 of us on the trip.
15:16 Didn't you say why they come in?
15:17 Yeah, it was kind of like, okay, where are they coming,
15:19 but I understood like, you know,
15:20 we were all going for one thing, which was, you know,
15:23 to seek the laws and just to really help them
15:25 to provide care for them,
15:27 but at the same time, you know,
15:29 we would come together in the groups,
15:30 early mornings to have morning devotion.
15:32 And so it's like, 6:30, 7 o'clock in the morning,
15:35 we would have these beautiful two-hour long devotions,
15:38 and we would read through the book True Revival.
15:42 So as we would go through that book,
15:43 if anyone had anything to share they would share.
15:46 And so when it came to Mike and another colleague,
15:49 they were really open about their past lifestyle
15:51 in regards to coming from the homosexual lifestyle,
15:54 coming from pornography, masturbation,
15:56 having a sexual addiction, and because it was sunny,
15:59 we would have our devotions on the beach,
16:00 I would have my sunglasses on.
16:02 And so sun is shining.
16:04 I'm hearing what they're saying.
16:06 And it really wasn't until one day
16:08 where Mike had shared that pornography for him
16:11 was his best friend,
16:13 that anytime he felt lonely or tired or angry
16:16 that you would turn to it.
16:17 And so because I had my sunglasses on,
16:20 I was started to tear up
16:21 because I was like, "Wait, that's me.
16:23 That's my problem."
16:24 But because I had sunglasses on, nobody knew.
16:27 Nobody knew what was going on.
16:30 I was really just like, it really hit me
16:32 where another person then had also mentioned that,
16:35 you know, God is unable to bring that blessing to you
16:38 because the sin is taking place of that blessing,
16:40 and I knew that I desired a godly marriage,
16:43 but at the same time,
16:44 I also wanted to keep pornography in the picture.
16:46 I wanted to have threesomes in my marriages.
16:49 And so to see how God
16:50 was really hitting me at that moment,
16:52 it really, it was a trickle down effect
16:54 because by the following day, there was another situation
16:57 where I had two different people
16:59 come to me telling me that they were demon possessed.
17:02 And so in my mind, I'm just like,
17:03 "There are other people on this group, you know,
17:05 why are you coming to me kind of just like,
17:06 leave me alone."
17:08 Because I knew I had things I was trying to work through.
17:10 And so I could see that God was trying to reach me
17:12 and just telling me, you know,
17:13 you have to let go of what you're holding on to.
17:15 So what the first person
17:17 we had asked if they wanted prayer,
17:19 and they had said no,
17:20 so we were like, "Okay, you know,
17:22 we'll pray for you, but we won't,
17:24 you know, pray out loud."
17:25 Since that was the person's desire,
17:27 but the second person I had came across,
17:29 I had asked if they wanted prayer,
17:31 and she had said, "Yes."
17:33 And I was like, "Okay."
17:34 And so I got a Spanish translator.
17:36 And I started to kneel down, the lady sat, she was sitting,
17:40 she was just sitting on a chair.
17:42 And so I just remember kneeling down
17:43 but inside I was just like really frantic
17:45 because I was just like, "Oh, boy, like,
17:47 person's a little different."
17:49 But at the same time, just realizing that
17:51 it was really hard for me to say a prayer for her
17:54 because I knew I had my own demons
17:56 I was wrestling with.
17:57 And so I'm thinking about
17:58 these verses in regards to like,
18:00 you know, casting out demons
18:01 and just recognizing this lady, you know,
18:03 she has a demon within her
18:04 and just knowing that the demons have ability
18:06 to interchange with one another.
18:08 And so I'm just telling myself to relax to calm down,
18:11 just asking God, you know,
18:12 to just make me look like I'm okay,
18:14 but really deep down,
18:16 I knew that it was time for me to really let go of the porn.
18:18 But even with that, that wasn't, you know,
18:21 the icing on the cake per se.
18:23 The following day, I knew I had to speak on
18:26 the sanctuary message.
18:27 And for me coming from a construction background,
18:29 I knew that anytime you had any like owners
18:32 or architects who would come together
18:33 to design a building,
18:35 they were really intentional in what they were planning.
18:37 When it came to, you know, the materials they were using,
18:40 the dimensions of a building, the placement of a room,
18:44 you know, they're very intentional.
18:46 And so for me when it came to the sanctuary message,
18:49 just knowing that that was something God designed
18:51 that he was really intentional with the dimensions,
18:54 the materials he would pick, it just really showed me that
18:57 he desires like how much more he desires
18:59 to restore his image back to me.
19:01 And so with all of that just coming about within Cuba,
19:04 it had showed me that, you know,
19:06 I have to let go of this,
19:07 but even with that it wasn't enough
19:09 because I had to leave Cuba
19:11 a little bit early to go back to work.
19:13 And so even though I had, you know,
19:15 such a beautiful time in Cuba,
19:18 I had to go back to Florida and...
19:20 Could I just bring it back for a second
19:22 when she shared that with the whole group,
19:25 and most of these other people were good friends of hers.
19:27 So she was invested with them.
19:29 She just met us, but that day before you left,
19:32 what was it the day you left?
19:33 It was the day I left on Friday afternoon.
19:35 When you confessed all of that,
19:36 I was in shock that you were willing to be
19:38 that vulnerable with everybody else.
19:40 But I also saw it as kind of like
19:42 you're desperate plea
19:43 to just put this out into the light.
19:46 It was a brave moment. Yes. Yeah, definitely.
19:49 I mean, it's not easy to be so open and transparent
19:52 about things that you struggled with,
19:54 and all of that stuff,
19:55 but what we see is that when you're open
19:57 and transparent as you saw...
19:59 Yeah.
20:01 It opened the door up for you
20:02 to feel comfortable in going and seeking help as well.
20:06 Yeah. But continue.
20:08 Yeah, yeah, sure.
20:09 So being that I had to leave Cuba
20:11 a few days early,
20:13 when I went back to Florida because at that time
20:15 I was living in Florida.
20:17 Mike and I, we still kept in contact,
20:18 but it just so happened to be that he also had to go to Cuba.
20:22 And so in my, I mean, just go to Florida.
20:23 You had to come back to Florida.
20:25 And so in my mind, I'm just thinking like,
20:26 "Wait, what are you doing in Florida?"
20:28 Like, but I knew that God was just permitting me
20:32 to have an opportunity to now really
20:34 have a follow up because
20:35 God knew that it was on my mind to say,
20:39 "Okay, we're gonna let go of the sexual addiction,
20:40 this pornography addiction, letting go of all of this,
20:43 but at the same time, I was still struggling
20:44 with really recognizing
20:46 am I going to be serious and let this go."
20:49 And so the day it was about
20:50 a week after the trip from Cuba,
20:52 Mike and I, we spent like
20:53 the whole day just talking about,
20:55 you know, what was going on?
20:56 So I always just thought that as a day of like follow up
20:58 or God was just like, you know, Kezia, you need a follow up.
21:01 So I was thankful for that.
21:03 But even when he and I were talking,
21:05 I wasn't just so, you know, easy...
21:06 Oh, no, she was not an easy sell.
21:09 She was a little difficult.
21:11 She wasn't buying what I was selling.
21:13 Yeah, I wasn't the most,
21:15 you know, like, hurrah about it.
21:16 I was just like, "Well,
21:17 you know, is it really an issue?
21:19 And nobody knows I'm doing it. Why is it a big deal?"
21:21 So I had... Not hurting anybody.
21:22 Yeah, precisely.
21:23 So I had all these questions for him,
21:25 but his response was just always calm.
21:27 He wasn't, you know, attacking me with it.
21:29 You know, you would state the truth,
21:31 but still in a loving manner.
21:33 So it was one of those things where I walked away
21:36 with a day just having a lot of things on my mind.
21:39 Just trying to figure out,
21:40 you know, how am I really going to do this now?
21:42 Because I knew that this was something
21:44 I held on to for such a long-time.
21:47 And even with the conversation with Mike,
21:48 even though we spoke on verses, you know,
21:50 how God viewed it.
21:51 It wasn't an easy moment
21:54 where I was just excited to let go of it.
21:56 It wasn't like... The same thing.
21:57 I think we all go through that.
21:59 It's like, "Oh, wow, this really makes sense."
22:01 Now I don't know how that applies to me
22:03 and I certainly don't even know how to get out of where I am.
22:06 You know, and there was a lot of resistance
22:08 from you that day.
22:09 Tell about the hair thing? All right.
22:12 So when I had gone to Cuba,
22:13 I had, like, the twist in my hair.
22:16 So sometimes, you know,
22:17 you'll put kind of weave in your hair,
22:19 and just to keep your hair longer last,
22:20 like protective styles.
22:22 And so, when I was coming back from Cuba,
22:25 I knew that I had to take my hair out,
22:26 it was about time to take it out.
22:28 And so when Mike and I,
22:30 when Mike had show that he was also going to be,
22:32 you know, in Florida, in my mind, I was thinking,
22:35 well, maybe I could have an excuse
22:37 to not see him and I figured, you know what...
22:39 Oh, I got to go get my hair done, right?
22:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:42 Yeah, I was like, I have to take my hair out.
22:43 So, you know, don't worry about it.
22:45 And he was like, "Oh, no, I could help you."
22:46 But in my head, I was just like,
22:47 what is this white man know about, you know,
22:49 my hair, but I didn't know until like,
22:51 when I got there when he and I finally had our discussion
22:54 that he was telling me, you know,
22:55 that he was a hairdresser as well.
22:57 So I was like, "Oh, okay, like, that makes sense."
22:59 So we spent the whole day, you know, as we're talking,
23:01 asking questions,
23:02 he's helping me take my hair out.
23:04 So it was one of those moments
23:05 where it wasn't just the physical things
23:07 that were being removed.
23:09 You know, literally, like,
23:10 you know, the hair pieces coming out,
23:11 but it was also just seeing that,
23:13 you know, spiritually there were things
23:14 now being released unraveled from me.
23:16 Wow, that's deep.
23:17 Yeah, so it was a moment
23:19 where I knew it wasn't of my control.
23:22 God knew that I needed a follow up from Cuba
23:24 because I didn't know how addicted I was
23:27 until it came to that point where,
23:30 you know, he's sharing all these things to me,
23:33 I'm hearing people, you know, talking about,
23:35 you know, being demon possessed,
23:37 but I was seeing that I still had a struggle,
23:39 that it was hard, really hard for me to let go.
23:41 Yeah.
23:42 So, you know, from what I'm hearing,
23:43 it sounds like God had been
23:45 like trying to get your attention,
23:47 trying to get your attention,
23:48 and He wanted to win you to him.
23:51 Right.
23:52 And he was continually trying even with the hair thing.
23:56 That's deep. That's powerful.
23:59 And I wanna transition.
24:01 Our time is running away from us.
24:03 I wanna transition
24:05 into the victory part, you know,
24:07 now you're walking with Christ and all of that.
24:10 How has your life changed since coming back to the Lord?
24:14 Yeah, tremendously,
24:16 I'd say I think the biggest thing for me
24:18 was setting up boundaries.
24:20 So as I was going through
24:21 the process of just learning to let go of this,
24:24 learning to surrender to God, I had to recognize that
24:26 I had to spend intentional time
24:28 with God that my morning devotions
24:30 had to be really, really intimate with God,
24:33 where I was learning to now
24:35 have a relationship with God being vulnerable with Him,
24:38 but in the midst of all that learning about who He is,
24:42 I had to know that in order for me
24:44 to keep that relationship going,
24:46 I had to place boundaries.
24:47 So that meant like, you know, having filters on my phones,
24:50 filters on my computer, in regards to protecting me
24:53 from even going back to the pornography,
24:55 having accountability partners.
24:58 Also having just support groups
25:00 having a counselors just recognizing that
25:02 the times that I love, you know,
25:04 isolating myself that
25:05 it's not helpful in order for me
25:06 to maintain this victory.
25:08 Wow, these are good tips and strategies.
25:11 I mean, you just name tips and strategies that
25:13 if somebody is at home
25:14 and they're struggling with these issues,
25:16 those are things that they can apply and do
25:19 to uproot themselves from that situation.
25:21 Yeah. That's very good.
25:22 Now you guys also go around speaking
25:25 and sharing as well, right?
25:28 What are some of the needs of the organization
25:30 'Coming Out' Ministries?
25:32 Well, 'Coming Out' Ministries has some very lofty goals,
25:35 and we have invitations from countries
25:38 around the world that are they just don't have
25:41 the funding to bring us to them.
25:42 So we have to wait until we do fundraising
25:45 to get the funds
25:46 before we can actually go there.
25:48 What we're really trying to do
25:49 is just to get people to commit to $5 or $10, $20,
25:52 maybe $100 a month,
25:54 and just sending in those monthly donations
25:56 so that it can not only support
25:57 the workings from inside
25:59 because now we've grown to the point
26:01 where we actually have people
26:02 that are on a payroll and we have
26:05 just a general running of the business,
26:08 let alone the ministry that we wanted to do outside.
26:11 We also wanna produce another film
26:13 we have "Journey Interrupted."
26:14 Which was a great film by the way.
26:15 Thank you. Thank you. As a matter of fact...
26:17 Very well done. That's right.
26:18 3ABN was the first one to show our film on the media.
26:21 That was a great event.
26:22 But now what we need is we need another film
26:25 to basically talk about even adultery
26:27 because adultery is the biggest issue
26:29 in the church
26:30 and we wanna address that as well.
26:31 And to recognize it 'Coming Out' Ministries
26:33 isn't about coming out of the gay issue.
26:35 It's about Revelation 18:4, "Coming out of her, my people,
26:40 might ye be not partakers of her sins."
26:41 And so that's the message that we wanna get out.
26:44 Amen. Amen.
26:45 Well, we have your contact information
26:48 and we're gonna put that up on the screen.
26:49 And, Mike, if you would read that for us so people know
26:52 how to reach you, how to support you,
26:55 all of those things.
26:56 So let's take a look at your contact info.
26:58 Sure, it's 'Coming Out' Ministries,
27:00 PO Box 107, Tilly, Arkansas 72679.
27:05 And you could go to ComingOutMinistries.org
27:07 or email us at Admin@ComingOutMinistries.org.
27:12 Wow.
27:13 Real quick any final thoughts that you have in a few seconds?
27:19 And so she was talking about accountability software
27:21 and the one that we use is Covenant Eyes.
27:24 And you can go to CovenantEyes.com
27:27 and you can put in COMsafe.
27:29 COMsafe and you can use that
27:32 as a promo code when signing up.
27:35 Wow, that's awesome.
27:36 And so that's a safeguard
27:37 against visiting any of the sites that you should be...
27:40 Really helps. Tremendously.
27:41 Took a me a while to get it,
27:43 but it was definitely well worth it.
27:45 Amen. Amen.
27:46 Well, thank you so much for your transparency.
27:47 Thank you, guys, for coming on and sharing
27:50 and sharing tips and strategies.
27:52 Yes. Thank you.
27:53 And thank you for joining us.
27:54 Well, we've reached the end of another program.
27:56 Join us next time.
27:57 Remember, it just wouldn't be the same without you.


Revised 2020-05-14