Participants:
Series Code: UBR
Program Code: UBR200005S
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00:01 Stay tuned to meet a woman
00:02 who had her identity crisis unraveled. 00:04 My name is Jason Bradley 00:06 and you're watching Urban Report. 00:30 Hello, and welcome to Urban Report. 00:32 Today's program is one that is sensitive in nature 00:35 and viewer discretion is advised. 00:37 If you are a parent and you have young children, 00:40 we suggest that you watch this program first, 00:43 and then determine whether or not 00:44 it is suitable for your children. 00:46 My guests today are Michael Carducci, 00:48 Co-Founder of 'Coming Out' Ministries and Kezia Chisholm, 00:52 the Associate Speaker of 'Coming Out' Ministries. 00:55 Well, one of the associate speakers 00:57 of 'Coming Out' Ministries. 00:58 Welcome to Urban Report, guys. It's great to be here. 01:01 Yes. It's great to have you here. 01:02 Mike, you're no stranger to 3ABN, to Dare to Dream. 01:06 Kezia, this is your first time here. 01:08 Yes, it is. 01:10 And we're excited to dive into your testimony 01:14 and hear a little bit about your background. 01:17 But, Mike, why don't you start by telling us 01:19 a little bit about 'Coming Out' Ministries, 01:21 and then transition into how you met Kezia? 01:24 Sure, 'Coming Out' Ministries was started 10 years ago. 01:27 And it was by five individuals 01:29 that were coming out of LGBT lives 01:32 into a relationship with Jesus Christ. 01:34 And I thought as one of those people 01:35 that I was the only one, 01:37 but then when we found that there were other people, 01:40 we thought, "Well, if one testimony was good, 01:42 then imagine the power of five testimonies." 01:44 So 'Coming Out' Ministries 01:46 was about five different ministries 01:48 coming together. 01:49 And it's now grown into this amazing opportunity 01:53 to go internationally and speaking about 01:55 the power of Jesus Christ to restore lives. 01:58 And why do you feel that 01:59 that is so relevant in today's society? 02:03 You know, there was nobody talking about this issue 02:05 when I was a young person and walked out 02:07 of the church culture 40 years ago. 02:09 So then coming back 02:10 into church culture 20 years ago, 02:12 thinking, surely we were talking about this issue. 02:14 I think that a lot of people, it's a very uncomfortable 02:18 and taboo subject matter, 02:20 but it's something that has minimized 02:21 and marginalized people 02:23 that are struggling with identity issues. 02:25 And a lot of our youth walk away 02:26 from church culture, not necessarily 02:28 because they're not getting 02:30 an understanding of Jesus Christ, 02:33 but they're not knowing how to bring in a sexuality 02:36 and religion together. 02:37 And that was the reason why I walked out of the church. 02:40 Wow. Wow. Wow. 02:42 I have an interesting quote that I'd like to share. 02:44 And it actually comes from Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, 02:47 Adultery, and Divorce, 02:48 but it talks about Satan's repetitious plot. 02:50 Listen to this, 100 years ago, Ellen White wrote. 02:53 She said, "Near the close of this earth's history 02:56 Satan will work with all his powers 02:58 in the same manner and with the same temptations 03:01 wherewith he tempted ancient Israel 03:02 just before they're entering the Land of Promise. 03:05 He will lay snares for those 03:07 who claim to keep the commandments of God, 03:09 and who are almost on the borders 03:11 of the heavenly Canaan. 03:12 He will use his powers to the utmost in order 03:14 to entrap souls 03:16 and to take God's professed people 03:17 upon their weakest points. 03:19 Those who have not brought 03:20 the lower passions into subjection 03:22 to the higher powers of their being, 03:24 those who have allowed their minds to flow 03:25 in the channel of carnal indulgence 03:27 of the baser passions, 03:29 Satan is determined to destroy with his temptations 03:32 to pollute their souls with licentiousness." 03:34 It's interesting when I speak at universities, 03:38 academies, at churches, pastor's retreats, you know, 03:41 the power of the internet on the cell phones 03:44 and our smart devices has really ramped up 03:47 pornography addiction and sexual addiction. 03:50 And so when I met Kezia a few years ago in Cuba, 03:54 we were working together on a mission trip 03:57 and as I started to hear Kezia story 03:59 about her sexual compromises, and then asking her, you know, 04:03 "Well, you know, you know about biblical sexuality, don't you?" 04:06 And her response to me was, "Well, basically, no." 04:09 She didn't get that education from her home. 04:11 And she wasn't getting it in the church 04:13 and that was when my eyes were open to this quote, 04:17 where I realized that the prophet of the Lord told us 04:20 over 100 years ago, 04:21 what the end time issue is gonna be 04:23 and yet there are no programs, 04:25 there are no sermons taught about it. 04:27 And so 'Coming Out' Ministries 04:29 relevance is really about the fact 04:30 that we're not afraid to talk about it, 04:32 but we also do it in a redemptive way 04:34 instead of instructing children or young people or even adults, 04:38 but pointing them to Jesus Christ 04:39 in the restoration 04:41 that He has available for each one of us. 04:42 Yeah. And which is beautiful. 04:45 I love 'Coming Out' Ministries because it is, you guys, 04:47 do discuss topics that need to be talked about, 04:51 you know, people are being educated in the streets, 04:53 but they're not being educated in the home 04:55 or in the church on the specific topic. 04:58 So, Jason, thanks for Urban Report. 05:00 We're so grateful because 05:01 now we are talking about it here. 05:03 And we are educating people 05:04 through the ability to be here with you today. 05:07 So we're just as grateful to you. 05:10 Glad to have you here. 05:12 And, Kezia, let's go ahead and jump into your background. 05:14 You're biracial, correct? I am. 05:17 You know, identity seems to be the issue of the day. 05:21 As a biracial person, excuse me, 05:25 how has identity affected you as a little girl? 05:29 It played a really big role for me, 05:31 especially because just seeing how when it came to my mom, 05:33 who was the woman who's that girl that, you know, 05:35 I'm looking up to, 05:37 and I realized I didn't look like her. 05:38 And so automatically it already played a lot within my mind 05:41 just seeing that, you know, 05:43 she was fairer skinned, you know, 05:44 she's from the Philippines. 05:46 Her hair is straight, my hair is curly, 05:47 and then what's when it was with my dad. 05:49 My dad, he's Guyane. 05:50 So him and I connected more with, you know, 05:52 just being black being that he's from Guyana, 05:55 so I always related more with him, 05:57 but just seeing how over time, there were some differences, 06:00 especially just growing up in Brooklyn, New York, 06:02 it wasn't really big at that time 06:04 in regards to interracial relationships. 06:06 So it did play a role in regards to how I saw myself 06:09 and just trying to always pick one side 06:11 and not think that I could just be, you know, 06:13 happy with how God had made me. 06:15 Yes. Wow. 06:16 So you felt like you had to pick it... 06:18 Yeah, for sure. Okay. Okay. 06:20 Now was your father always in the home? 06:22 No, he wasn't. Over time he actually had left. 06:26 So for most of my childhood, 06:29 he was present, he was active, you know, mom and dad, 06:31 you know, they were doing things, 06:33 being that they were married for some time, 06:35 and then eventually, 06:36 sometimes things don't always go as planned. 06:39 And eventually they ended up getting a divorce. 06:41 So with him leaving that really did play 06:43 a big part in some of the things 06:45 I had turned to and looking for love. 06:48 So when I was around 12, he ended up leaving 06:51 and that was a big, a really down, 06:54 a really spiraled effect for me, 06:57 where I just saw that, you know, 06:59 him leaving it caused me to really break down 07:01 and looking towards to other things 07:03 to really fill that hole. 07:05 That love that I was looking for 07:07 since he had decided to leave. 07:10 Have you ever had any issues like as a kid, you know, 07:14 sometimes you hear about children being molested? 07:17 Was that ever anything that happened to you? 07:20 I wouldn't necessarily call it molestation at that time, 07:23 but when I was about the age of four and five, 07:25 I did have my first sexual encounter. 07:28 And this was at school, I had gone to a public school. 07:30 And when the situation had happened, 07:33 it was with another girl. 07:34 So I was just under the impression 07:36 that when it came to sex, that, you know, 07:38 it was okay to have sex with girls. 07:40 So when this girl started touching me, 07:42 I didn't think it was a problem because I wasn't taught that, 07:45 you know, if something happens, 07:47 you should say something or if someone, 07:48 you know, touches you in a way 07:49 that you're not supposed to be touched, 07:51 that you should tell your mom or dad or, 07:52 you know, telling a teacher, so I just always kept that, 07:55 I didn't think it would be a big issue over time, 07:58 and then eventually few years down the line at daycare, 08:02 I ended up having another sexual encounter. 08:05 And this time it was with another group of girls. 08:08 And so this just really opened my eyes to now 08:10 just having like group sex. 08:12 So over time, 08:14 I was just thinking that this was okay, 08:15 especially when it came to sex that sex with girls 08:18 or even in a group setting that this was fine. 08:20 Wow, you thought it was the norm? 08:22 Yeah, for sure. Yeah. 08:23 Yeah. 08:25 How did that experience shape your life? 08:28 Oh, major way for sure 08:31 'cause I always just thought that, 08:33 you know, if I'm feeling sad or stressed out 08:36 that I could just always turn to that, 08:37 especially when my parents divorced. 08:39 I just thought that because of all the anger I had, 08:42 I really stored it within me, 08:45 I didn't really look to God at that time. 08:47 God wasn't really the center of my life. 08:50 I'm really just looked at Him more so as a genie, 08:52 just, you know, if I needed something, 08:54 He would grant that desire to me. 08:56 And so with just having that sexual background, 08:59 I just figured you know what, 09:00 I'll just turn to, you know, having sex with guys or girls. 09:04 And so it just opened up a wide range of things 09:07 where I would just look to like smoking weed, 09:10 or whether it was drinking or partying. 09:13 I just know I had like a lot of suicidal thoughts, 09:15 especially during my teenage years, 09:17 where I was just trying to, you know, 09:19 fill my mind or rather numb it 09:20 with what the how I was really feeling deep down 09:23 with my dad leaving. 09:25 So there was a lot of pain. Yeah. 09:27 A lot of pain. 09:28 And so you coped by, you know, 09:31 drugs, experimenting with drugs? 09:33 Yeah. Okay. 09:36 Is it possible to say also that there was a lot of loneliness? 09:39 You know, you didn't have any brothers and sisters, 09:42 not only to help you identify with who you were... 09:44 Yeah. 09:45 You know, all you had were these two parents that were, 09:47 you know, polar opposites of each other 09:50 and you were the product of that. 09:52 You know, I wonder how much that played into it. 09:54 You know, the fact that you were the only kid at home 09:57 and here you've got your parents 09:58 that are, you know, splitting up 09:59 and you had no one else for support. 10:01 Yeah, it really played a big role 10:03 because at that time I just thought that 10:05 this was okay 10:06 that I could turn to all these things 10:08 in regards to just finding comfort in it. 10:11 And so, it just left me more empty than before. 10:14 So, you know, you're turning to something, 10:15 trying to find some sort of comfort, 10:16 but really deep down, 10:18 it was just leaving me more broken. 10:19 And just seeing that 10:21 I needed more of it to fill me up, 10:22 even if it left me more broken than before. 10:26 Did you ever share 10:28 your experiences with anyone that could help? 10:31 No. 10:32 Well, I know at times, 10:33 especially during my teenage years 10:35 because I had a lot of anger issues. 10:37 I did have some teachers telling me, you know, 10:39 to see a counselor, so, you know, 10:41 I started counseling just for a little bit, 10:43 but it wasn't anything consistent. 10:45 For the most part, I just really bottled up 10:47 a lot of the things I was going through 10:48 because I didn't really think that 10:50 anybody cared about what was going on. 10:52 I knew that my mom she was working hard 10:55 and trying to maintain the home because now for her 10:57 it was just trying to manage this new life. 11:00 You know, after her husband leaving, 11:01 becoming a new single mother, 11:04 trying to figure out how do I now, 11:05 you know, help my daughter in growing up, 11:07 but at the same time trying to make sure 11:09 she was providing for the home. 11:11 So she had a lot on her plate just trying to, you know, 11:13 address what she could, but for me deep down 11:16 because I was just so angry. 11:17 It was just a lot of bottling up 11:19 of the pain going on. 11:21 Mike? So this is interesting. 11:23 When we were talking and recently, 11:25 I just realized that your identity issue 11:27 was totally different than mine. 11:29 I was a child that was transgender, 11:31 and then eventually, same sex attracted, 11:34 but your gender or your identity issue 11:37 was really about the race thing. 11:39 And you have an incredible story 11:40 about when you were going to school, 11:42 and your mom and dad 11:43 were walking you into the classroom. 11:44 I thought this was really powerful. 11:46 Yeah, it was some, 11:47 so this was around the time of middle school. 11:49 So I think it was like going into fifth grade. 11:52 And so the school I was going to 11:54 was predominantly a Caribbean school, 11:56 and I remember the students 11:57 just lining up in the school yard 11:59 and there were like a few Asians I could see, 12:02 but majority of the students were Caribbean, were black. 12:05 And so I remember my mom was on one side, 12:07 and then my dad was on my other hand. 12:09 And so, you know, 12:10 they're both walking into school. 12:11 And then I just told my mom, you know, 12:13 mom you can let go of my hand because you're yellow, 12:15 and I'm black. 12:16 So it was just one of those things 12:17 where I didn't think that it was ever okay 12:19 to just be both that 12:21 I was always just trying to pick one side. 12:23 And I had to be one simply because, 12:25 you know, I looked black, but, you know, over time, 12:28 then I was realizing that it was okay for me to be both 12:30 that's how God had created me. 12:33 Okay. Wow. 12:34 Yeah, that's deep. 12:36 So what would you say your relationship was like 12:40 with your mom over time? 12:43 Yeah, over time it's definitely gotten better. 12:44 I'd say as I was going through recovery 12:48 because a lot of the things that I was going through 12:50 during my teenage years where I was trying to cope, 12:53 I had turned to especially when it comes like 12:55 pornography and masturbation. 12:58 I just thought that that was okay. 12:59 And I was realizing, I was turning to those things 13:02 because of the broken relationship 13:03 I had at home. 13:04 And so over time, you know, when I had met Mike in Cuba, 13:08 that's where I realized that, you know, I had an addiction 13:10 that I had a problem that I really had to get help. 13:13 And so through that experience in getting help 13:15 with the pornography, the masturbation 13:17 as I was going through recovery, 13:19 I was realizing that there was a lot more things 13:20 I had to address that it wasn't 13:22 just the pornography and masturbation issue, 13:25 but there also was trauma 13:26 that I hadn't dealt with from childhood. 13:28 So at that point within Cuba, where I realized that, 13:31 you know, I have an addiction, 13:33 God is asking me to let go of that. 13:35 He was also asking me to let go of other things. 13:38 And that happened like 13:40 the resentment towards my parents 13:41 because I had to realize over time that, 13:43 you know, things happen. 13:45 As a child, I don't have control over that, 13:47 but to recognize that, 13:49 as I was getting help with the addiction, 13:51 that God had also allowed me to get healing with my parents 13:55 seeking reconciliation, taking time out 13:58 to really talk to them and ask them, 14:00 you know what went on, why did that happen? 14:02 Because I, even though I had met Mike, 14:05 a few years ago, I realized that the divorce, 14:09 the issues that I was still holding on to 14:11 was about 14, 15 years later, 14:13 from the time my dad had left, but I was still angry over it, 14:17 which really made a lot of sense as 14:18 to why I continued in a very promiscuous lifestyle, 14:23 just trying to find some sort of a love somewhere... 14:26 And acceptance. For sure. 14:29 So, Kezia, you were very covert, 14:31 there's just, you know, I spent time with you and, 14:34 you know, there in Cuba and there's no way I saw any, 14:37 you know, anger residue whatever. 14:39 I mean, she was bubbly. She was vivacious. 14:41 She was a very dynamic speaker. 14:43 She's talking about the sanctuary 14:45 and with your background in construction, 14:47 and how all of that 14:48 had this application to us spiritually. 14:50 And, you know, so when you said that 14:52 you struggled with anger I'm thinking, 14:54 "Well, where did that come from?" 14:55 'Cause you would never know. Yeah. 14:58 So how did you cover that up so well? 15:00 Yeah. 15:02 It was really interesting because I knew that 15:06 'Coming Out' Ministries was going to be 15:08 a part of that mission group that I was on. 15:10 And so I didn't really know 15:12 how things were going to work out. 15:13 There was a group of about 18 of us on the trip. 15:16 Didn't you say why they come in? 15:17 Yeah, it was kind of like, okay, where are they coming, 15:19 but I understood like, you know, 15:20 we were all going for one thing, which was, you know, 15:23 to seek the laws and just to really help them 15:25 to provide care for them, 15:27 but at the same time, you know, 15:29 we would come together in the groups, 15:30 early mornings to have morning devotion. 15:32 And so it's like, 6:30, 7 o'clock in the morning, 15:35 we would have these beautiful two-hour long devotions, 15:38 and we would read through the book True Revival. 15:42 So as we would go through that book, 15:43 if anyone had anything to share they would share. 15:46 And so when it came to Mike and another colleague, 15:49 they were really open about their past lifestyle 15:51 in regards to coming from the homosexual lifestyle, 15:54 coming from pornography, masturbation, 15:56 having a sexual addiction, and because it was sunny, 15:59 we would have our devotions on the beach, 16:00 I would have my sunglasses on. 16:02 And so sun is shining. 16:04 I'm hearing what they're saying. 16:06 And it really wasn't until one day 16:08 where Mike had shared that pornography for him 16:11 was his best friend, 16:13 that anytime he felt lonely or tired or angry 16:16 that you would turn to it. 16:17 And so because I had my sunglasses on, 16:20 I was started to tear up 16:21 because I was like, "Wait, that's me. 16:23 That's my problem." 16:24 But because I had sunglasses on, nobody knew. 16:27 Nobody knew what was going on. 16:30 I was really just like, it really hit me 16:32 where another person then had also mentioned that, 16:35 you know, God is unable to bring that blessing to you 16:38 because the sin is taking place of that blessing, 16:40 and I knew that I desired a godly marriage, 16:43 but at the same time, 16:44 I also wanted to keep pornography in the picture. 16:46 I wanted to have threesomes in my marriages. 16:49 And so to see how God 16:50 was really hitting me at that moment, 16:52 it really, it was a trickle down effect 16:54 because by the following day, there was another situation 16:57 where I had two different people 16:59 come to me telling me that they were demon possessed. 17:02 And so in my mind, I'm just like, 17:03 "There are other people on this group, you know, 17:05 why are you coming to me kind of just like, 17:06 leave me alone." 17:08 Because I knew I had things I was trying to work through. 17:10 And so I could see that God was trying to reach me 17:12 and just telling me, you know, 17:13 you have to let go of what you're holding on to. 17:15 So what the first person 17:17 we had asked if they wanted prayer, 17:19 and they had said no, 17:20 so we were like, "Okay, you know, 17:22 we'll pray for you, but we won't, 17:24 you know, pray out loud." 17:25 Since that was the person's desire, 17:27 but the second person I had came across, 17:29 I had asked if they wanted prayer, 17:31 and she had said, "Yes." 17:33 And I was like, "Okay." 17:34 And so I got a Spanish translator. 17:36 And I started to kneel down, the lady sat, she was sitting, 17:40 she was just sitting on a chair. 17:42 And so I just remember kneeling down 17:43 but inside I was just like really frantic 17:45 because I was just like, "Oh, boy, like, 17:47 person's a little different." 17:49 But at the same time, just realizing that 17:51 it was really hard for me to say a prayer for her 17:54 because I knew I had my own demons 17:56 I was wrestling with. 17:57 And so I'm thinking about 17:58 these verses in regards to like, 18:00 you know, casting out demons 18:01 and just recognizing this lady, you know, 18:03 she has a demon within her 18:04 and just knowing that the demons have ability 18:06 to interchange with one another. 18:08 And so I'm just telling myself to relax to calm down, 18:11 just asking God, you know, 18:12 to just make me look like I'm okay, 18:14 but really deep down, 18:16 I knew that it was time for me to really let go of the porn. 18:18 But even with that, that wasn't, you know, 18:21 the icing on the cake per se. 18:23 The following day, I knew I had to speak on 18:26 the sanctuary message. 18:27 And for me coming from a construction background, 18:29 I knew that anytime you had any like owners 18:32 or architects who would come together 18:33 to design a building, 18:35 they were really intentional in what they were planning. 18:37 When it came to, you know, the materials they were using, 18:40 the dimensions of a building, the placement of a room, 18:44 you know, they're very intentional. 18:46 And so for me when it came to the sanctuary message, 18:49 just knowing that that was something God designed 18:51 that he was really intentional with the dimensions, 18:54 the materials he would pick, it just really showed me that 18:57 he desires like how much more he desires 18:59 to restore his image back to me. 19:01 And so with all of that just coming about within Cuba, 19:04 it had showed me that, you know, 19:06 I have to let go of this, 19:07 but even with that it wasn't enough 19:09 because I had to leave Cuba 19:11 a little bit early to go back to work. 19:13 And so even though I had, you know, 19:15 such a beautiful time in Cuba, 19:18 I had to go back to Florida and... 19:20 Could I just bring it back for a second 19:22 when she shared that with the whole group, 19:25 and most of these other people were good friends of hers. 19:27 So she was invested with them. 19:29 She just met us, but that day before you left, 19:32 what was it the day you left? 19:33 It was the day I left on Friday afternoon. 19:35 When you confessed all of that, 19:36 I was in shock that you were willing to be 19:38 that vulnerable with everybody else. 19:40 But I also saw it as kind of like 19:42 you're desperate plea 19:43 to just put this out into the light. 19:46 It was a brave moment. Yes. Yeah, definitely. 19:49 I mean, it's not easy to be so open and transparent 19:52 about things that you struggled with, 19:54 and all of that stuff, 19:55 but what we see is that when you're open 19:57 and transparent as you saw... 19:59 Yeah. 20:01 It opened the door up for you 20:02 to feel comfortable in going and seeking help as well. 20:06 Yeah. But continue. 20:08 Yeah, yeah, sure. 20:09 So being that I had to leave Cuba 20:11 a few days early, 20:13 when I went back to Florida because at that time 20:15 I was living in Florida. 20:17 Mike and I, we still kept in contact, 20:18 but it just so happened to be that he also had to go to Cuba. 20:22 And so in my, I mean, just go to Florida. 20:23 You had to come back to Florida. 20:25 And so in my mind, I'm just thinking like, 20:26 "Wait, what are you doing in Florida?" 20:28 Like, but I knew that God was just permitting me 20:32 to have an opportunity to now really 20:34 have a follow up because 20:35 God knew that it was on my mind to say, 20:39 "Okay, we're gonna let go of the sexual addiction, 20:40 this pornography addiction, letting go of all of this, 20:43 but at the same time, I was still struggling 20:44 with really recognizing 20:46 am I going to be serious and let this go." 20:49 And so the day it was about 20:50 a week after the trip from Cuba, 20:52 Mike and I, we spent like 20:53 the whole day just talking about, 20:55 you know, what was going on? 20:56 So I always just thought that as a day of like follow up 20:58 or God was just like, you know, Kezia, you need a follow up. 21:01 So I was thankful for that. 21:03 But even when he and I were talking, 21:05 I wasn't just so, you know, easy... 21:06 Oh, no, she was not an easy sell. 21:09 She was a little difficult. 21:11 She wasn't buying what I was selling. 21:13 Yeah, I wasn't the most, 21:15 you know, like, hurrah about it. 21:16 I was just like, "Well, 21:17 you know, is it really an issue? 21:19 And nobody knows I'm doing it. Why is it a big deal?" 21:21 So I had... Not hurting anybody. 21:22 Yeah, precisely. 21:23 So I had all these questions for him, 21:25 but his response was just always calm. 21:27 He wasn't, you know, attacking me with it. 21:29 You know, you would state the truth, 21:31 but still in a loving manner. 21:33 So it was one of those things where I walked away 21:36 with a day just having a lot of things on my mind. 21:39 Just trying to figure out, 21:40 you know, how am I really going to do this now? 21:42 Because I knew that this was something 21:44 I held on to for such a long-time. 21:47 And even with the conversation with Mike, 21:48 even though we spoke on verses, you know, 21:50 how God viewed it. 21:51 It wasn't an easy moment 21:54 where I was just excited to let go of it. 21:56 It wasn't like... The same thing. 21:57 I think we all go through that. 21:59 It's like, "Oh, wow, this really makes sense." 22:01 Now I don't know how that applies to me 22:03 and I certainly don't even know how to get out of where I am. 22:06 You know, and there was a lot of resistance 22:08 from you that day. 22:09 Tell about the hair thing? All right. 22:12 So when I had gone to Cuba, 22:13 I had, like, the twist in my hair. 22:16 So sometimes, you know, 22:17 you'll put kind of weave in your hair, 22:19 and just to keep your hair longer last, 22:20 like protective styles. 22:22 And so, when I was coming back from Cuba, 22:25 I knew that I had to take my hair out, 22:26 it was about time to take it out. 22:28 And so when Mike and I, 22:30 when Mike had show that he was also going to be, 22:32 you know, in Florida, in my mind, I was thinking, 22:35 well, maybe I could have an excuse 22:37 to not see him and I figured, you know what... 22:39 Oh, I got to go get my hair done, right? 22:41 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 22:42 Yeah, I was like, I have to take my hair out. 22:43 So, you know, don't worry about it. 22:45 And he was like, "Oh, no, I could help you." 22:46 But in my head, I was just like, 22:47 what is this white man know about, you know, 22:49 my hair, but I didn't know until like, 22:51 when I got there when he and I finally had our discussion 22:54 that he was telling me, you know, 22:55 that he was a hairdresser as well. 22:57 So I was like, "Oh, okay, like, that makes sense." 22:59 So we spent the whole day, you know, as we're talking, 23:01 asking questions, 23:02 he's helping me take my hair out. 23:04 So it was one of those moments 23:05 where it wasn't just the physical things 23:07 that were being removed. 23:09 You know, literally, like, 23:10 you know, the hair pieces coming out, 23:11 but it was also just seeing that, 23:13 you know, spiritually there were things 23:14 now being released unraveled from me. 23:16 Wow, that's deep. 23:17 Yeah, so it was a moment 23:19 where I knew it wasn't of my control. 23:22 God knew that I needed a follow up from Cuba 23:24 because I didn't know how addicted I was 23:27 until it came to that point where, 23:30 you know, he's sharing all these things to me, 23:33 I'm hearing people, you know, talking about, 23:35 you know, being demon possessed, 23:37 but I was seeing that I still had a struggle, 23:39 that it was hard, really hard for me to let go. 23:41 Yeah. 23:42 So, you know, from what I'm hearing, 23:43 it sounds like God had been 23:45 like trying to get your attention, 23:47 trying to get your attention, 23:48 and He wanted to win you to him. 23:51 Right. 23:52 And he was continually trying even with the hair thing. 23:56 That's deep. That's powerful. 23:59 And I wanna transition. 24:01 Our time is running away from us. 24:03 I wanna transition 24:05 into the victory part, you know, 24:07 now you're walking with Christ and all of that. 24:10 How has your life changed since coming back to the Lord? 24:14 Yeah, tremendously, 24:16 I'd say I think the biggest thing for me 24:18 was setting up boundaries. 24:20 So as I was going through 24:21 the process of just learning to let go of this, 24:24 learning to surrender to God, I had to recognize that 24:26 I had to spend intentional time 24:28 with God that my morning devotions 24:30 had to be really, really intimate with God, 24:33 where I was learning to now 24:35 have a relationship with God being vulnerable with Him, 24:38 but in the midst of all that learning about who He is, 24:42 I had to know that in order for me 24:44 to keep that relationship going, 24:46 I had to place boundaries. 24:47 So that meant like, you know, having filters on my phones, 24:50 filters on my computer, in regards to protecting me 24:53 from even going back to the pornography, 24:55 having accountability partners. 24:58 Also having just support groups 25:00 having a counselors just recognizing that 25:02 the times that I love, you know, 25:04 isolating myself that 25:05 it's not helpful in order for me 25:06 to maintain this victory. 25:08 Wow, these are good tips and strategies. 25:11 I mean, you just name tips and strategies that 25:13 if somebody is at home 25:14 and they're struggling with these issues, 25:16 those are things that they can apply and do 25:19 to uproot themselves from that situation. 25:21 Yeah. That's very good. 25:22 Now you guys also go around speaking 25:25 and sharing as well, right? 25:28 What are some of the needs of the organization 25:30 'Coming Out' Ministries? 25:32 Well, 'Coming Out' Ministries has some very lofty goals, 25:35 and we have invitations from countries 25:38 around the world that are they just don't have 25:41 the funding to bring us to them. 25:42 So we have to wait until we do fundraising 25:45 to get the funds 25:46 before we can actually go there. 25:48 What we're really trying to do 25:49 is just to get people to commit to $5 or $10, $20, 25:52 maybe $100 a month, 25:54 and just sending in those monthly donations 25:56 so that it can not only support 25:57 the workings from inside 25:59 because now we've grown to the point 26:01 where we actually have people 26:02 that are on a payroll and we have 26:05 just a general running of the business, 26:08 let alone the ministry that we wanted to do outside. 26:11 We also wanna produce another film 26:13 we have "Journey Interrupted." 26:14 Which was a great film by the way. 26:15 Thank you. Thank you. As a matter of fact... 26:17 Very well done. That's right. 26:18 3ABN was the first one to show our film on the media. 26:21 That was a great event. 26:22 But now what we need is we need another film 26:25 to basically talk about even adultery 26:27 because adultery is the biggest issue 26:29 in the church 26:30 and we wanna address that as well. 26:31 And to recognize it 'Coming Out' Ministries 26:33 isn't about coming out of the gay issue. 26:35 It's about Revelation 18:4, "Coming out of her, my people, 26:40 might ye be not partakers of her sins." 26:41 And so that's the message that we wanna get out. 26:44 Amen. Amen. 26:45 Well, we have your contact information 26:48 and we're gonna put that up on the screen. 26:49 And, Mike, if you would read that for us so people know 26:52 how to reach you, how to support you, 26:55 all of those things. 26:56 So let's take a look at your contact info. 26:58 Sure, it's 'Coming Out' Ministries, 27:00 PO Box 107, Tilly, Arkansas 72679. 27:05 And you could go to ComingOutMinistries.org 27:07 or email us at Admin@ComingOutMinistries.org. 27:12 Wow. 27:13 Real quick any final thoughts that you have in a few seconds? 27:19 And so she was talking about accountability software 27:21 and the one that we use is Covenant Eyes. 27:24 And you can go to CovenantEyes.com 27:27 and you can put in COMsafe. 27:29 COMsafe and you can use that 27:32 as a promo code when signing up. 27:35 Wow, that's awesome. 27:36 And so that's a safeguard 27:37 against visiting any of the sites that you should be... 27:40 Really helps. Tremendously. 27:41 Took a me a while to get it, 27:43 but it was definitely well worth it. 27:45 Amen. Amen. 27:46 Well, thank you so much for your transparency. 27:47 Thank you, guys, for coming on and sharing 27:50 and sharing tips and strategies. 27:52 Yes. Thank you. 27:53 And thank you for joining us. 27:54 Well, we've reached the end of another program. 27:56 Join us next time. 27:57 Remember, it just wouldn't be the same without you. |
Revised 2020-05-14