Working The Dream

Casual Fridays

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript

Participants: Eric Kelly


Series Code: WTD

Program Code: WTD000005A

00:30 Hello and welcome to "Working the Dream"
00:32 I'm your host Eric Kelly, and you've probably noticed
00:36 that I'm not all knotted up in a shirt and tie
00:38 because it is... drum roll please, "Casual Friday!"
00:43 Now notice I didn't say, "grunge Friday or "wrinkled,
00:48 hat, mess Friday or what in the world do you have on Friday?"
00:54 Casual Friday is simply a day that many employers
00:58 allow their employees to dress
00:59 down just a notch prior to the weekend.
01:03 It builds good feelings about the work place.
01:06 However, they are still expecting a degree of
01:09 professionalism.
01:10 Sadly, I've talked to some managers who regret
01:14 allowing the casual Friday practice to even start at all
01:18 because of how it's turned out.
01:20 Well, what does that have to do with today's topic?
01:23 Well today, we're going to share how you can build
01:26 a powerful personal career brand.
01:31 Your image is the perception people have of you
01:34 based on observations and insights over time.
01:38 Simply put, your image is your personal brand.
01:42 To have a positive brand, one must have created
01:46 a positive image.
01:48 Now, can you do things to build your personal brand, your image?
01:53 Absolutely!
01:54 Now if you want to understand how branding works
01:57 let's take a trip to your local grocery store.
02:01 Let's say today, you're going to make a dish
02:04 that requires corn...
02:06 So, you go to the aisle that has canned vegetables,
02:09 and there before you are just oodles of choices for corn.
02:14 Now even if you don't think about it consciously,
02:17 you are going to buy the can that you feel
02:21 most comfortable with.
02:22 Your comfort level with what you buy - may be based
02:26 on an advertisement where you saw a commercial of a
02:29 very happy..."Ho Ho Ho," very tall individual extolling
02:34 the virtues of his brand of corn.
02:37 Now this subconsciously started to create a positive brand image
02:42 in your mind - maybe after that, you visited a friend
02:45 and then made a casserole corn dish and when they
02:49 served it - it was so delicious that when you complimented
02:53 their cooking skills, they shared the brand of corn
02:56 that they used.
02:57 Either way, your eyes and ears registered a brand from the
03:02 commercial, then your eyes and ears and taste buds registered
03:06 a brand at your friend's meal and from those senses,
03:10 you will now make a choice when you are faced
03:13 with the options for corn.
03:15 When it's time for you to buy an automobile,
03:18 branding also is a big influencer.
03:21 I've seen some of the brands that present themselves
03:24 with scenes depicting young, energetic, fun-loving drivers
03:29 that are all looking for features and economic value.
03:32 The images are of young people and they're laughing,
03:36 they're piling into a car and they're going to go out
03:37 and have a fun-filled evening... Wow - cool car!
03:41 Now, I've seen some other brands that depict a more distinguished
03:45 couple driving a luxury automobile and the verbiage
03:49 that the announcer uses goes something like this...
03:52 "This is what you drive when you have finally arrived."
03:57 Arrived at what?
03:59 Some of us who chose that brand wonder where the
04:02 announcer was when that first car note notice arrived.
04:06 Either way, branding influences choices.
04:09 Now the workplace is no different.
04:12 Your employers have seen employees come and go,
04:16 and based on their experiences with people,
04:19 they're looking for an image, a brand if you will of a person
04:23 that they believe will help their organization become
04:26 even more successful.
04:28 Your image, your brand will be built around three
04:32 major things.
04:33 The first is dress - what do people see
04:37 when they look at you?
04:39 How you dress - what you choose to wear to work will affect
04:42 how those in authority perceive your judgment and ability.
04:47 The second area is - what they hear.
04:50 Your communication skills - verbal and nonverbal.
04:54 Interestingly enough, people with strong
04:57 verbal communication skills are often given credit for an
05:02 above average level of intelligence which may
05:05 or may not be true.
05:06 Now, don't let that one get around.
05:09 The third consideration is how you combine both
05:13 to project a competent, positive image.
05:17 So image is the following:
05:28 Well let's look at the impact of dress, communication skill,
05:31 and positive image projection on the careers of
05:35 Grant and Malik...
05:37 Hey my brother man - I been calling you all day, Rocco man.
05:39 Where you been, man I'm glad you finally picked the phone up.
05:41 Hey, check this out - Saturday night is going to be
05:43 off the chain - I got that leather jacket,
05:45 that New York hoodie and I'm sport'n these "AB Ed glasses,"
05:48 here man - I gotta go man, the hall monitor just walked in.
05:51 Man brother - can't you see I'm on the phone my brother?
05:54 Man, you know we shouldn't be on the phone when it's
05:56 when it's not break time.
05:57 You gotta lighten up, you're always so tight.
05:59 Man, the work is getting done, and what's the problem?
06:01 Yeah, the work is getting done, but what happens if the
06:03 boss comes in here and you're acting up?
06:06 The boss comes down here? I mean, really? Like really?
06:10 People up - you think the people upstairs care about us
06:12 down here? I mean G-stacks
06:13 don't know nobody but the mail and you.
06:15 You look like... you always down here.
06:18 Look at - by the way, you walk around with a tie,
06:19 do you think they gonna come down here and save us?
06:22 How you act, what you dress, what you wear is important...
06:26 It sets the first impression.
06:27 That's what people see when they first meet you.
06:29 Yeah aha, you been tellin me that for the last two years,
06:31 and by the way, aren't you a Christian man?
06:33 And you still smokin that success stuff...
06:35 Man, you gotta come to reality,
06:37 This is it, this is the mail room, mail come in, it go out.
06:40 Everything that go out, go out in boxes.
06:41 You don't get it? Don't get what?
06:43 You can get out of this mailroom.
06:45 G- Stacks could get out of the mailroom?
06:47 When people come here, they notice you.
06:49 The people that matter can come down here and see you,
06:51 and see the potential - and then you get out of the mailroom.
06:54 Now I gotta agree, I do have some potential,
06:56 but nobody down here to see it,
06:57 but you and you ain't doin nothin for me.
06:59 Have you seen Mr. Martin's mail? Mr. Who?
07:04 The CEO of the company, Mr. Martin.
07:06 Mr. Martin? Oh Mr. Martin...Ohh
07:09 Hey Mr. Martin! How are you?
07:12 It's nice to meet you sir, I was just getting ready to
07:14 bring this upstairs to you.
07:15 Oh wow, thank you so very much, but that's not necessary.
07:18 My secretary is out today so I decided to make the
07:21 trek down here myself because this is a very important
07:24 piece of mail for me.
07:25 Are you sure, sir, it's not a problem,
07:27 I can still bring it up for you.
07:28 No, no, no, that's quite all right,
07:29 but I do appreciate the initiative.
07:31 By the way, what's your name?
07:32 Malik, sir, Malik Preston.
07:33 Malik Preston, I'll remember that name, not a difficult name.
07:36 I think I'll hold on to it. Thank you sir.
07:40 Mr. Anderson!
07:41 Oh, you must be the Mr. Martin everybody is talking about.
07:44 Boy, I... man, good to see you again.
07:46 It's been a long time, like what 2 years now
07:48 since I've seen you.
07:50 Now you must be making some money - look at how you dress,
07:51 look at how I dress man, but that's okay,
07:53 this is G-Stacks' outfit.
07:54 Haystacks? No, G-Stacks.
07:57 So what's up, my brother?
07:58 Well I wanted to just know how
07:59 you're doing down here in the mailroom?
08:01 It's the mailroom, "m-a-i-l" that's all I get down here.
08:04 It comes in, it goes out, that's all I need to do.
08:05 The sun done come up, the sun go down,
08:07 I come in, I go home... as long as my
08:09 check show up, I'm cool.
08:11 You do understand that you don't have
08:13 to remain in the mailroom.
08:14 Well you tryin to tell me
08:16 there's some other place I can go?
08:17 Yeah, there's always opportunity for improvement.
08:20 We are always looking for the best and the brightest
08:22 minds in this company.
08:23 We want to improve and promote our people in this company.
08:26 I believed that 2 years ago, but I'm still stuck down here,
08:29 so what else do I need to do to get outta here?
08:31 Well, it depends upon your deportment, your demeanor...
08:33 the way you dress, the way you talk,
08:35 the way you act - all of that factors into the promotions
08:38 that we do in this company.
08:39 In a big word, "deportment," see, I aim my vocabulary,
08:42 just say, "clothin."
08:43 But, so what should I do then to get out of here
08:46 because I'm kinda getting tired
08:47 of just looking at walls, there ain't no windows
08:48 down here either - you know what I'm sayin?
08:51 Yeah, if you do your best, we'll see your best,
08:53 and that's how we promote.
08:54 So you tryin to tell me that there's hope for G-Stacks?
08:57 I mean, I could make it... I could go upstairs and see
09:00 other people?
09:01 There's hope for everybody.
09:03 Hmm - Okay I'll try to do my best.
09:05 I mean, if you tellin me it's workin for you
09:06 so must be some truth to it, so, you know, I'll try to
09:09 apply myself - I appreciate the words, Mr. Martin.
09:11 Peace out. Appreciate that.
09:13 Malik, appreciate the initiative. Thank you sir.
09:16 Appreciate your work. Thank you.
09:17 By the way, I like that tie. Thank you
09:20 So he the man, huh? He's the man!
09:27 Hey brother - call that number after 5 p.m.
09:30 Hmm, mmm, my - "Your path to great success starts here."
09:35 "55-prophet" - I'm gonna try cause, I mean, look
09:37 at how you dress and look at how he dresses.
09:40 There got to be somethin other than this for G-Stacks.
09:42 Yeah, I'll make the call, maybe I got a
09:45 brighter future, who knows?
09:53 Well Grant hopefully has learned what Malik already knows...
09:58 That is.. whether we like it or not, whether we think it's
10:04 fair or not, people judge you on how you present yourself
10:08 each day.
10:10 Having worked with senior executives and CEOs,
10:13 as they review those that they deem upwardly mobile,
10:17 I can assure you that senior managers do talk about
10:21 how you present yourself.
10:24 Now, let's look at the first most obvious thing that
10:28 people notice about you and that is the way that you dress.
10:31 Okay, some of you are saying, "Look, I have a right
10:35 to exercise my personal taste in how I dress."
10:39 My response to that statement is, "You most certainly do,"
10:45 and your up line supervisors and managers have a right
10:48 to judge you on how you look when you are working
10:51 at their company.
10:54 You see, how you dress at home or when you're away from work
10:57 is absolutely no one else's business but yours.
11:01 However, when you are in the workplace of a company
11:04 that you do not own, it can create
11:08 an unwanted distraction.
11:09 The reason that this topic is such a controversial one is
11:14 because the way we dress, our taste and our sense of style
11:18 it's incredibly personal.
11:20 In fact, it so personal that some people believe
11:23 it is an extension of who they actually are.
11:26 Here are two questions to ask yourself before selecting
11:29 a work outfit...
11:31 Is this outfit one that the culture at my job
11:34 will embrace or reject?
11:36 Does this outfit help or hurt my chances of success
11:40 here at work?
11:41 If you really want to understand the culture of dress
11:45 that is acceptable at your company,
11:47 observe how the senior team dresses.
11:50 What seems to be the acceptable norm for them?
11:53 Now some basic tips that might seem like common sense
11:58 for those who are enlightened, might be due for
12:00 reinforcement on this topic.
12:02 Unless you are in the high fashion industry,
12:06 you can rarely go wrong opting for a more conservative look.
12:10 The more conservative style, the better - your blues,
12:13 your grays, solid or pin-stripes.
12:15 Women - you may include more colors.
12:17 Now someone might be saying...
12:19 If I'm too conservative, nobody will notice me.
12:23 Well, you want to be noticed for how you work,
12:26 not necessarily on how flashy and fashion-forward you dress.
12:32 I have hundreds of stories where dress was the deciding factor
12:36 AGAINST someone's advancement.
12:39 The senior team consistently saw poor taste in dress
12:44 as poor judgment, and a more conservative
12:47 dresser with maybe even the same skill got the nod.
12:51 Wear outfits that communicate "I am a business leader."
12:56 Party clothes SCREAM party person and provocative
13:01 is not good.
13:04 So when should I change my outfit, you ask?
13:07 Well, if you work for an accounting firm - when you're
13:12 wearing any of the outfits on Hollywood dancing stars,
13:16 you probably should change.
13:19 If your boss and their boss stops by your office,
13:22 and at the end of the conversation they say
13:25 something like, "WOW, we didn't even know
13:28 those colors went together..." you should probably change.
13:32 If you were going up to work in an elevator and people are
13:35 asking you, Where is the party? You should probably change.
13:40 Bottom line - if you look in the mirror and you're saying
13:43 to yourself, "Maybe I shouldn't wear this?"
13:47 You should definitely change.
13:49 Basic rules... No lumps or bumps in your clothes.
13:53 Whether you are buff to the max or you need to
13:55 spend more time in the gym, wear clothes that do not
13:59 accentuate anything that could be distracting away from
14:03 your excellence as a worker.
14:05 Be careful with skin... whether it's a miniskirt
14:08 or a golf shirt that shows off your 20 inch arm
14:11 or visible tattoos - if it causes workplace discussion
14:15 that are not about your abilities, it's a distraction
14:19 that you do not want.
14:20 Now, here's a special word of caution...
14:23 "Casual Friday" should not be "dirt bag Friday."
14:28 I'm going into downtown office buildings all over the
14:30 country, filled with highly skilled professionals
14:34 and I've gone in on Friday wondering if I
14:36 stumbled into a beach party movie.
14:38 They wore flip-flops, they wore jeans that were
14:40 torn and cut, and tank tops and assorted picnic outfits.
14:44 I'm not sure if any of these people thought about how
14:47 they were being viewed by their leaders.
14:51 Casual Friday - dress down, but not out.
14:55 Now, let's talk about the impact of communication skills.
14:59 Do you sound knowledgeable and intelligent?
15:02 Whether we like it or not, we're judged not only
15:05 on how we look, but how we sound.
15:07 It helps people find a comfort zone when dealing with us.
15:11 Imagine yourself lost... and so you're turned around
15:15 and you knew you had to ask for directions,
15:18 so you pull into a service station and there's a gentleman
15:21 standing outside - when you pull up next to him,
15:24 you roll down your window and before you can say anything,
15:27 he smiles and says, "Hello there, can I help you?"
15:30 Psychologically, the smile and the friendly manner put you
15:35 a little more at ease, even though you still
15:38 don't have your directions yet.
15:39 He continues to explain, pleasantly, that you missed
15:42 your turn about 2 miles back.
15:45 Now, did the way he sounded have any effect on you?
15:48 Well of course it did.
15:49 His accent, if he had one, was not particularly an issue
15:53 as long as you could understand him.
15:56 What you wanted to know was... could he help you.
15:59 So as you listened to him, you were trying to determine
16:02 if he was knowledgeable and when you were convinced that
16:05 he was correct in his instructions,
16:08 you experienced relief and you set about following them;
16:12 however, you first had to decide if you believed he knew
16:17 what he was talking about in the first place.
16:20 So what do you sound like?
16:21 Are you articulate, or do you sound well-read?
16:25 Are you clearly understood. Do you sound educated?
16:28 Whether we like it or not, we are being judged
16:31 from the instant we show up until we leave,
16:34 but that's heightened at the point where we
16:37 begin to speak.
16:38 Now you might ask, why is this important to me in my career?
16:41 Well, look at it this way...
16:43 It's hard to be good at your job if you're not articulate,
16:47 if you can't persuade or if you're not easily understood.
16:51 There are so many times at your job where the conversation
16:54 will be one-on-one, but also one-to-many,
16:57 and to have a vibrant career, you will need to be effective
17:01 in communicating in both situations.
17:04 If you're in a meeting, when you're finished talking,
17:06 people need to know and understand what you said.
17:10 If you want them to actually take some action
17:12 and do something with your information,
17:14 you will also need to be persuasive.
17:17 Now whether there is a true correlation or not,
17:21 there is definitely a belief that high achievers
17:24 will be able to speak well.
17:26 Sometimes you'll hear the word "smart," describing a person...
17:29 It is simply the speaker's way of describing someone they
17:32 feel is intelligent and articulate.
17:35 Bottom line - At your job, do you sound like
17:39 you know what you're talking about?
17:42 I want to make an additional point about why selling
17:45 speeches and persuasive speech are important
17:48 to your career.
17:49 Persuasive speech enrolls coworkers
17:52 and helps to sell ideas.
17:55 Now some of your work life will be spent in trying to
17:58 convince others of how your ideas can help your
18:01 team achieve success.
18:03 This is when you need to be the most persuasive.
18:07 You need to be able to sell an idea and the benefits
18:10 that it will have for the people that you're speaking to.
18:13 Let's say that you found a way to fix a company-wide problem...
18:16 If they follow your advice, not only can you fix the
18:20 problem area being addressed, but you'll also be able to
18:23 save your company several hundred thousands of dollars.
18:27 Now it's great that you've come up with this plan,
18:30 in fact; if they implement it, you might actually
18:33 become a hero.
18:34 However, before you'll be able to bask in the glow of
18:38 your genius, you will have to tell somebody...
18:41 No, you will have to sell somebody on your idea...
18:44 starting with your boss and then their boss, and their boss,
18:48 and so on, and so on.
18:50 Great leaders are known for their ability to sell ideas.
18:55 Now here's an incredibly intriguing fact...
18:59 Often good communicators are given credit for intelligence...
19:03 notice I did not say, "talkers," I said "communicators"
19:08 to give them credit for an intelligence that they
19:11 may not have - from getting team members to take a
19:14 particular course of action, to asking for a raise,
19:18 your ability to sell your ideas will be critical to your
19:22 career success.
19:23 Now let's take a look at how nonverbal communication
19:27 affects your image...
19:28 Nonverbal communication accompanies verbal
19:31 communication and it either supports it or invalidates it.
19:36 Let's look at facial expressions...
19:38 They really share our moods, what we're really thinking,
19:41 what's really going on.
19:43 Years ago, there was a television series about a
19:46 starship that traveled throughout the universe,
19:49 and they had a science officer who had pointy ears,
19:53 and he was always calm.
19:57 So there they would be fighting the space storm or into a
20:01 really dangerous situation and just before they would
20:04 crash, they would look at the science officer and with no
20:08 emotion, he would simply say, "Yes Captain, we're about to
20:11 crash in 3.2 seconds, in 2.1 seconds, always calm,
20:16 and we loved him.
20:17 And the reason was... his facial expression always
20:22 shared with us a message of control, of calm.
20:26 In fact, as a leader, we looked up to him.
20:29 Now if your words and your facial expressions don't
20:32 match, people will believe your facial expression first.
20:37 Here's an example...
20:39 You come in in the morning and you're really not
20:42 feeling all that great, so one of your coworkers,
20:46 always the perky one, comes up and says, "Oh, how are you
20:48 today?"
20:50 And you look at them and say, "Fine."
20:53 Now, your facial expression said, "Horrible day."
20:57 Your words were "fine," which was believed?
21:01 Trust me - it wasn't your words because your facial expression,
21:06 your nonverbal is seen as being more honest than your verbal.
21:12 Now, speech volume also communicates nonverbally.
21:17 I really don't understand this, but if someone speaks
21:21 in a language that we don't understand,
21:23 we tend to become louder.
21:26 "GOOD MORNING, HOW ARE YOU?" They're not deaf,
21:30 they just don't speak your language.
21:33 And, if you look at volume, yelling in the communications
21:37 transaction, usually denotes some intensity of feeling.
21:42 Now, speaking before a group requires a confident voice
21:47 in order to be believed... so there's going to be more
21:49 volume - there's going to be more projection there,
21:52 but yelling, hmm, not so much.
21:55 Now vocal inflection, pauses, also send a message.
22:01 I've seen people send messages with just a sheer pause.
22:05 Here's how it works...
22:06 "Well what do you think about Bob's work?"
22:09 Here's the response... (Head down, nonverbal)
22:13 Now, there was absolutely no quote that could be used;
22:17 however, I believe I sent a message.
22:21 Back in college, I had a roommate who said,
22:24 "You Americans put the emPHAsis on the wrong sylLAble."
22:28 And I thought about this as we would chat because
22:32 what he was really saying was that the way we emphasize
22:35 words, made a difference in their meanings.
22:38 Now I'm going to give you a phrase and I'm going to
22:40 show you how I can emphasize different words and create
22:45 totally different meanings...
22:48 For this example, let's use the phrase,
22:51 "I did not say, "he ate the cookie."
22:54 And we're going to change the emphasis on different words
22:58 and look how the meaning changes.
23:01 So, let's put the emphasis on the first word...
23:05 "I did not say, "he ate the cookie."
23:09 Well, that meaning could mean, you didn't say it; however,
23:14 did someone else say - he ate the cookie?
23:17 Let's put the emphasis on the word "say."
23:21 "I did not SAY - he ate the cookie."
23:25 Could that mean you wrote down that he ate the cookie?
23:29 "I did not say - he ATE the cookie."
23:33 With the emphasis being on the word "ate,"
23:36 hmm, did he just take the cookie and hide it somewhere?
23:42 "I did not say - he ate the COOKIE."
23:45 Well maybe he didn't eat the cookie,
23:48 but did he eat all the candy that was in the bowl?
23:52 Simply by changing the emphasis on words,
23:55 we can change their meaning.
23:58 We should be well aware of that when we are communicating
24:00 with someone and when our intent is to make sure
24:04 that our point is well taken.
24:06 Now let's look at the area of gestures and how nonverbally
24:12 they help us communicate.
24:14 "Hands," for instance, they often create context.
24:17 They illustrate small, LARGE.
24:22 Have you seen this one? "Cold"
24:25 "Warm"
24:28 Simply by using our hands, we can add an exclamation point
24:32 almost to any subject that we're talking about.
24:35 "Posture" also communicates nonverbally.
24:39 Years ago, I was speaking at a university and I went to
24:43 several classes to share with them tips on how to
24:46 get jobs, how to keep jobs, and I started at the freshman
24:50 class and they were slumped over and they were kind of
24:53 laying on the desk and "Ehh, whatever."
24:57 And went to a sophomore class and spoken,
25:00 they were just a little bit more interested,
25:02 and I could tell by their posture.
25:03 By the time I got to the junior class,
25:05 I had a little more of their attention and they kind of
25:08 their attention and they kind of sat up and by the time
25:09 I got to the seniors, who were leaving the university
25:13 and about to go into the job market,
25:15 I had their full attention.
25:17 How did I know? By their posture.
25:19 They were attentive, they were very interested and focused.
25:23 So posture will tell someone whether or not you're
25:27 listening or you're focused on what they're talking about.
25:30 At work, you want to project that you are on point
25:34 and focused, so you want your posture to have that aggressive
25:37 business look about it.
25:39 So here are some tips for projecting a positive image...
25:43 Dress each day for a meeting with the president
25:47 or the leader of your organization.
25:49 If you met them in the hallway, would you feel good
25:52 about what your wearing?
25:54 Speak clearly and confidently to whoever you're speaking with,
26:00 whether it be the boss, a peer or someone that
26:02 reports to you.
26:04 SMILE, look the person directly in the eye.
26:06 Always give a firm handshake,
26:09 and be an enthusiastic team player.
26:12 With your nonverbal, let people know that you're committed
26:15 to being there and doing a good job.
26:18 And...
27:03 Now this outfit is the bomb!
27:06 Wear it and watch your life be blessed.
27:10 Until next time, keep "Working the Dream"


Revised 2017-08-29