Participants: Dick Nunez, Greg Morikone, John Leaman
Series Code: BAS
Program Code: BAS000003
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00:01 Welcome to Faith Factor!
00:02 A program where you meet real people who face real challenges 00:07 in the real world and for whom faith has been a factor in the 00:12 outcome! 00:14 We want to look at the Search for Love! 00:17 Do you sometimes maybe in your life or have you at some point 00:20 in your life felt love starved? 00:24 Children, adults, women, go through that experience and it 00:29 could be very devastating when not only love is denied 00:34 but when you are made to feel unlovable. 00:37 Here is a Scripture that will encourage you! 00:40 It is from Song of Salamon, chapter two, verse four. 00:46 The imagery is so appealing! 00:49 'He brought me to the banqueting-house...' 00:52 A house of plenty, a house of luxury if you will. 00:56 'He brought me to the banqueting-house, 00:59 And his banner over me was love.' 01:02 The picture that you get there is one of a host who wants to 01:08 lavishly love and express affection for someone! 01:13 God's banner over you is a banner of love. 01:17 Many of you, particularly women go through experiences of life 01:22 where you are made to feel worth less. 01:24 Where you are made to feel unattractive, unlovely and 01:27 unlovable. 01:29 The God of the universe says: you are wonderful enough to 01:34 die for... 01:35 He brings you to the banqueting-house of his lavish 01:39 affection and he puts his banner of love over you. 01:45 If you can accept that, you can begin the path to an exciting, 01:49 new, wonderful life because of your faith and the one who 01:54 truly loves you with a love that will never ever let you go! 01:59 Faith Factor 02:22 I am sure that you've heard the term: 'love starved' before. 02:27 It is easy to understand starvation in terms of food. 02:33 If you don't have food for one week, two weeks, three weeks, 02:36 you can see what starvation will do to the human body. 02:41 You are not gonna live very long without food. 02:44 Yet at the same time how can one survive without love? 02:49 There are many today, who are love starved women, children 02:54 love starved, dying inside... 02:57 We wanna take a look at the journey of Carla South, a very 03:03 attractive young woman who went from a point of love starvation 03:07 that almost distroyed her life. 03:09 But her story is going to inspire you! 03:13 Carla, welcome to the program! 03:16 -Thank you! 03:17 Let's start with the roots. I always believe that what we 03:21 become is influenced by where we came from! 03:25 So tell me about your roots. Tell me about your childhood, 03:29 what was it like? 03:30 Well, it didn't get off with a very good start. 03:34 The day I was born my mother made it quite clear that I 03:39 wasn't what she wanted, she wanted a boy which... 03:43 I have an older sister at this point so it was made known to 03:49 everybody that just... 03:50 -That she was devastated because you turned up! 03:53 -I was just a girl... 03:55 -And you were just a girl...! 03:56 -Ya, and so growing up, my mom and I didn't have a relationship 04:04 in the beginning. 04:06 I don't ever remember sitting on her lap, holding her hand, 04:10 kissing her, except two occasions where I held her hand 04:15 once and I sat on her lap another time. 04:17 -You held her hand once! 04:19 -Aham... 04:20 -She was distant from you? You didn't want to be close to 04:26 her, that's it? 04:27 -No, she removed herself from me and my sister basically and 04:32 so we had each other and... 04:35 -What is your sister's name? 04:37 -Patty! 04:38 -Patty! So you and Patty had each other! 04:40 -Yes! 04:41 -Did your mother ever tell you that she didn't love you? 04:43 -Yes, on a regular basis actually... 04:48 -On a regular basis she told you that she didn't love you. 04:51 -Yes! And that she hated me because the matter of fact I 04:56 ruined her life and... 04:57 -Ruined her life by being a girl? Is that it? 05:00 Or by being there? 05:02 -Being there. 05:03 -Was she a young mother or what were the factors? 05:06 -No, I know it has to do with the way that she was raised 05:10 and so she did what she knew... and I was a pillar of strenght 05:17 for my sister until the age of 14 I actually was giving the 05:23 opportunity to be strong for her because she was weaker 05:30 even though she was older. 05:31 -She was older but she suffered from the same, I guess 05:34 you want to call it 'love starvation' like you. 05:36 -Oh ya and probably even more so. 05:39 She was very fragile and... 05:42 -How did you feel as a child growing up with no touch, 05:46 not touch and yet all the time saying 'I don't love you', 05:50 'I hate you' and you had to live with that! 05:52 How did you sustain yourself? 05:56 -By being strong for her! 05:59 -By being strong for your sister... 06:00 -For my sister! Ya, and so we were very close, meaningless to 06:05 say, I mean we did have our moments when we didn't get along 06:08 very well you know, trying to put my older sister's clothes on 06:12 and those type. 06:13 And when I was 14 years old, I lost that strenght that I had 06:24 when my sister committed suicide. 06:26 And... 06:28 -How did that happen? 06:30 -She drove her car off up in Colorado in the mountains and 06:36 went down 600 feet and she and I actually looked alot alike 06:41 and people thought we were twins actualy and so it was very hard 06:47 for me to lose her and have nobody to be strong for anymore. 06:53 -Did you get so say good bye to her? Was there any connection 06:58 or just wanished? 07:00 -This is how good God is. I didn't even have God in my 07:04 life at the time and the very last time I saw my sister, she 07:08 was driving away and I said: 'Hey, can you give me a ride 07:11 home?' and it was like two blocks away and she says 07:14 'No, I have to go to work and I am late' and I said: 07:16 'Please...' and she says: 'Get in the car brat!'. 07:20 and I said 'Thank you'! 07:21 Because we didn't have alot of affection and things like that, 07:26 we didn't share it. 07:28 -You didn't know how. 07:30 -Right! And so she drops me off at the 07:33 house and I ran up to the door and I looked in her eyes and 07:37 said 'Wait!' and she says 'What now? I have to go!' 07:40 and I ran up to her, I gave her a hug and I gave her a kiss 07:45 and I told her I loved her. 07:48 And I don't remember ever doing that before that time and I 07:52 never got to again because that was the last time I've seen her. 07:57 I know that that was a gift from God! 08:01 -I am with you there... 08:03 At least you got to. 08:05 Did she know the Lord? 08:08 -We weren't raised with... We went to church and that was 08:16 full of alot of traditions and we did not know of God really. 08:24 And we went to church every Sunday but there was no feeling 08:31 if you will to hear who God is. 08:35 -Exactly! 08:36 -Ya! 08:37 -So after the loss of your sister what happened to you? 08:41 -I ended up getting the brant of everything from my mom and 08:47 it was harder to sustain for myself because I no longer had 08:51 anybody to be strong for and by the time I was 19 years old, 08:56 I was pregnant and shortly thereafter was married and 08:59 ended up marrying an alcoholic and by the time we were married 09:05 three years, I already had a son and you know, I was, made that 09:10 commitment to stay with him further and it was very very 09:14 hard time in my life. 09:16 -You were 21 then, got two children... 09:18 -I had well one child at that time and we were married for 09:26 11 years and... 09:28 -Was is a good marriage? 09:29 -It was a very very unhealthy marriage. 09:35 He was always drinking and always gone and out at 09:41 strip-clubs and things like that. 09:44 -You had a few problems. 09:45 -Oh ya! And so finally when he left me 09:50 the 4th time, my son said, some things can really wake me 09:55 up and I thought I can't put the kids through this. 10:00 Not just myself but... 10:01 -He will come back, he will come back... 10:02 -Ya! 10:03 -Was he ever physically abusive? 10:06 -He was threatening to but as far as... 10:11 -Did he do it verbally? 10:13 -Ya! Which was enough to make me just withdraw. 10:21 -What impact did that kind of home life had on the children? 10:25 -They actually were... He was gone so much, more the 10:32 lack of having a father figure was the biggest issue. 10:37 I mean he almost never came home and so I raised... 10:43 -Almost living a single life... 10:44 -Absolutely! Absolutely! 10:46 After I was divorced, it wasn't an issue because I had already 10:51 done everything. 10:52 -So what next? 10:54 -Well, in late 2003 I had somebody invite me to a 11:04 Daniel Study and I had started for the first time in my life 11:10 reading the Bible for myself... 11:12 -Who invited you, I mean you said you grew up in a 11:16 traditional church environment. 11:18 -Yes! 11:19 -And so you really didn't know the Lord. 11:21 You were invited to a Daniel Seminar and started reading the 11:24 Bible for yourself. What were you looking for? 11:28 Were searching with, looking for God... 11:31 -I have never been asked out to a Bible Study so I thought okay! 11:36 Fine and so I went and you know it was a little bit embarassing 11:42 to sit there with so many people looking at different books and 11:47 I'm like 'well there's different books in there?' 11:49 -You knew nothing at all about the Bible! 11:52 -Nothing! Absolutely nothing! 11:53 -So tell me what happened at the Bible Study and how you and all 11:57 came together? 11:58 -Well, after about three of the Daniel Studies, a revelation 12:01 series came from pastor Mark Finley into town and I 12:04 was invited to that next and I thought okay, sure! 12:07 This is pretty good start so why not and I started to go 12:11 and I at this point I am reading my Bible 6 to 8 hours a day. 12:17 -So after nothing at all you are hungry. 12:19 I can tell, okay! 12:21 -I am thinking this is good start you know, wow! 12:25 This is amazing and we were driving home one night, 12:29 a friend of mine and myself and I said: 'who is God? 12:35 Who is He? He is not who I thought He was! 12:41 And he said and I know it was the Holy Spirit that was in this 12:47 because He said: 'do you know, all of your life you've tried 12:52 and tried to please your mom and no matter what you did, 12:57 she always turns her back on you.' 12:59 And now being a people pleaser in the first place because of 13:03 that relationship with my mom I've tried and tried, I mean 13:09 if you ask me and He said: 'now imagine someone whom you 13:14 never ever tried to please and He will never turn His back 13:19 on you!' I instantly fell in love... 13:26 -With Christ! 13:29 -Yeah! 13:30 -Discovering the love you're heart was longing for! 13:34 -Yes! 13:36 -A huge turning point was that! 13:38 -Huge! 13:39 -Yes! Yes! 13:41 The beautiful thing about Christ is that he sees at the long 13:47 distance when we don't even know that He exists, whether 13:53 we know to read it or not, it is not about whether we know Him 13:58 and we go after Him but he seeks us and finds ways of introducing 14:03 himself to us so that we can find out how loving He 14:07 really is! 14:09 And if your heart is hungry and you are searching, that is the 14:12 place to begin! 14:14 If you are looking for real love that is meaningful and 14:17 life changing, that is the place you will find! 14:20 You will learn a little more of the tools God used... 14:23 Faith Factor 14:27 If you have been inspired by the incredible stories of faith and 14:30 the series, then we have good news for you! 14:32 Now you can own your very own copy of each of these 14:35 13 episodes in the first season on DVD or video casette. 14:39 This is a serie you'll treasure and it makes a great gift too. 14:44 This 13 part series with Cynthia Prime makes a wonderful 14:48 gift for friend or family member. 14:51 Just call us at 1-800-752-3226 14:55 during regular business hours and we'll be happy to take your 14:58 order. You may also order online at www.3abn.org 15:05 Well Carla, you have been searching all your life, 15:12 you have been rejected, you have been hated by your mother, 15:15 you have been is essence discarded and suddenly 15:18 you followed somebody by the name of God, you read your Bible 15:22 and you finally know that He loves you in a way that your 15:27 mother never could. 15:28 What happened to your heart? What happened to your life? 15:30 -Ah, talk about taking heart to heart and melting it to be ready 15:37 to receive what ever it was that it was next to Lord, I had no 15:43 idea that it means this much and it is just the overwhelming 15:49 sense of security, was just incredible. 15:55 And I wanted to get to know more of Him and so I constantly 16:01 desired to want just hear Him and His word, to speak to Him, 16:07 to tell Him whatever it is. 16:09 I remember the second prayer that wasn't something that... 16:13 I grew up saying prayers that were memorised and I never knew 16:18 I could just talk to God. 16:20 So it was like... 16:22 -In those prayers did you talk to God? 16:23 Or did you talk to somebody else? 16:25 -No, they were just recited words that I just spoke. 16:32 I didn't know God! 16:33 I really did not and so once I found out that how much 16:39 He loved me, and each and every one of us, I two o'clock in the 16:44 morning a couple of weeks later I was sobbing after reading my 16:51 Bible about eight hours and I thought: all I want for the rest 16:58 of my life is to bring as many of Your children home with me 17:05 as I can. 17:07 So any way that that is possible, use me, do whatever 17:13 it is and I will tell You, I will try and get myself 17:19 out of the picture is what I was saying at the time and now I say 17:23 'Lord! Not me, You! It is all about You!' 17:28 And so just really learning how to not live my life for me 17:37 anymore. 17:38 -You know, for someone with the hunger, a hunger for love, 17:43 do you feel that at that moment that connection with Christ, 17:48 that hunger was felt? 17:51 -Absolutely! 17:52 -Absolutely and... 17:53 -Did you feel it with relationships before, 17:56 any other relationship? 17:57 -Absolutely! I mean looking for love in all 18:02 the wrong places, that would definitely be me! 18:06 And I have been shown how I do try to still get that fixed 18:15 if you will when I don't focus on Christ. 18:18 -You still feel that your heart is hungering... 18:23 I was saying that for human affection as well. 18:27 -When I am not reading and praying... 18:31 -When you are not focusing... 18:32 -And I am not focusing on Christ, I can definitely 18:35 fall back into that tread. 18:37 -So what was your life like after finding Christ? 18:42 What did you do? What kind of work you do, 18:44 paint me a picture of what colours life looks like? 18:48 -I actually had my own shop. 18:50 I am a barber and not a hairstylist, I don't do women's 18:56 hair if you will. 18:57 I could if I'm forced to but I do men's hair. 19:01 When I found Christ, 650 of my clients heard about Him and 19:06 had questions answered and so many people say: 19:10 'Oh no no no no no... don't talk about that in your business!' 19:13 Well ya, if you hand people laws and regulations, they will 19:17 slam that door shut but when you hand them what God is made of 19:21 and that's pure love, the door is open all the time. 19:26 I haven't met a person yet who hasn't been receptive to love. 19:32 -So you came from a position of seeking to a position of really 19:37 telling the word yourself, telling to everyone. 19:40 -I say the most important element for the success of 19:45 any business is word of mouth and this is the most important 19:49 business on the face of this world. 19:51 -Praise the Lord, praise the Lord! 19:52 -Ya, so ya, absolutely! 19:54 -Did you ever remarry? 19:56 -I did! I did! 19:57 -A christian man? 19:58 -A christian man and he is actually an elder and 20:02 Sabbath School superintendent and... 20:06 -Was that marriage a happy one? 20:08 -It lasted 6 months. 20:11 -6 months! 20:13 Well you developed a walk with God and did into a new marriage. 20:19 It lasted 6 months. 20:20 Do you feel it as women will become single that you lack some 20:24 of the tools, hard to make choices or what is it? 20:28 -I took God and put Him into the same way that I was before. 20:37 I didn't trust. I trusted men if you will. 20:42 He told me he was a christian and he exposed so eloquently 20:46 about the Bible and I was completely, I let my 20:51 my guard down and so I... 20:54 -Have you sensed that you listened to the word and 20:57 listen to what was said, I am a christian and I love Christ 21:00 and you didn't look beyond that. 21:01 -Ya! And for a period of time he was able to exude those 21:07 qualities that and just I fell in love with somebody who 21:14 loved Christ. 21:15 It is what let my guard down. 21:19 -What happened in the relationship? 21:21 -I mean what was it like? 21:23 -When you love Christ you have the characteristics of Christ. 21:32 -Exactly! 21:34 -And there was alot of anger there... 21:37 And it was very very difficult for me to look at my mistake 21:44 which my mistake is again looking for love in 21:49 the wrong places. 21:50 And this time I was relying on men to give me what it was 21:54 that I was already getting from God. 21:56 And it's loud and clear right now and the Lord is gracious for 22:03 pointing out that flaw that I have in me. 22:07 -Was the marriage, is the marriage abusive? 22:11 -I am actually disabled right now because of an 22:15 incident that happened... 22:18 -Disabled how? 22:19 -I have... 22:21 -What happened? 22:22 -I had such a severe shaking that I have chronic pain 22:31 and it is very, it's kept me from being able to work 22:39 right now and... 22:42 -So are you saying that that relationship that you 22:46 developed with a man who was being said godly, was a 22:50 physically abusive one if you are disabled because of 22:54 this obviously is something there that was not good, 22:59 that was not right... 23:00 -Right! 23:01 -Was that the only time? 23:03 -After two months of marriage I was pushed one time but 23:09 thereafter it was just one other time and didn't really 23:14 have any means to leave right away and I really prayed about 23:17 it and I was able to get out of the situation. 23:20 -So now that you are disabled, you cannot do the kind of work 23:27 that you did because of your injury to what 23:33 part of your body? 23:34 -It's actually this entire quarter section of my body. 23:39 -Where is the Lord leading you? 23:41 -Ah! He has opened doors you would not believe. 23:46 I mean He is amazing and I don't... 23:50 People are saying you know wait a minute! 23:53 If that is what a christian has to go throught, I'm gonna tell 23:55 you brothers and sisters out there, 23:57 there is a God out there that will take care of you, 24:00 no matter what you are going through and no matter what 24:03 you are dealing with, you can lean on Him 24:05 and He will provide! 24:08 Will it be love, compassion, financial, food, the basic 24:14 things He will take care of you no matter what! 24:19 And because I am in a situation that I am now, 24:23 people say 'wow, I don't wanna be a christian if I am gonna go 24:25 throught that'! 24:26 No, you have to understand I was really screwed up before 24:30 this and I'm just getting straight where the insides are 24:34 healing mentally, emotionally, the things that I do wrong 24:38 are brought to the front and so I am having healing. 24:41 -God is helping you, have you had any counselling, 24:45 you know any of that? 24:46 -I haven't had any counselling if you will by anybody else but 24:53 definitely people have helped me in ministering to me with prayer 25:00 and I have had so many wonderful people step up to the play and 25:07 really helped me and it's been amazing... 25:10 -A blessing! 25:11 -Ya! 25:12 -What we are talking about your journey is a real God 25:15 doing extraordinary things in our ordinary life. 25:18 Have you seen...? 25:19 Tell me for example one recent incident that really 25:22 let you know, He is letting you know I am here Carla, 25:26 I'm here! 25:27 -I met a fellow who actually for the first time is His life was 25:30 reading the Bible and he was finding out Sabbath thruths 25:34 and things like that and he was just reading a book from 25:37 pastor Mark Finley and so I was so excited to tell him that 25:40 pastor Mark Finley actually baptised me and he just 25:45 knew that God's hand was in it. 25:46 -And he was, how did you meet him? 25:48 He was one of your clients? 25:50 -Ya... 25:51 -Did you offer to give... 25:52 -I offered to give him a haircut and I was in the middle of 25:54 cutting his hair before I even realised he was a christian. 25:57 A new christian! 25:59 -Just searching for the Lord! 26:00 Just beginning to search for the love you found! 26:02 -Yes! 26:03 -Praise the Lord! Carla, you found it! 26:05 What an absolute delight you have been! 26:07 Thank God for you! 26:08 God promises us that when we seek Him, we would find Him. 26:14 If we search for Him with all our hearts. 26:16 And even Carla sought to find love throught all kinds of 26:20 relationships and then they turned out to be abusive, 26:24 they turned out to be not what her heart needed. 26:27 She found the fullness of joy when she found Christ. 26:30 And even though life still isn't perfect, and even though she 26:34 still in a journey, she bubbles with life. 26:37 Because God promises us a sufficiency, He promises us 26:42 His companionship, His forgiveness and he promises us 26:47 a kind of love that we can never ever earn. 26:50 We will find Him when we seek Him. 26:53 That promise is rock solid, it is true and as Carla's 26:57 particular text says: even if a father cannot 27:01 meet your need, or a mother cannot meet your need, 27:04 Jesus actually can supply all your needs. 27:09 Praise Him! 27:12 Faith Factor 27:15 It's always difficult when your heart is hungry and when 27:18 you feel unloved and unlovable. 27:21 To try to connect with a God that you can not see, 27:24 someone who seems so impersonal and so far away. 27:28 But the Bible is full of ensurances that His love 27:32 never fades and He is there for you all the time. 27:36 Psalms 145, verses 18 and 19. 27:43 Here is what it says... 27:44 'The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who 27:47 call upon him in truth. 27:49 He will fulfil the desire of those who fear him; 27:53 he will hear their cry and save them. 27:56 The Lord preserves all who love Him.' 27:59 He hears us even when all cries are for love. 28:04 And He answers those cries with His own love! |
Revised 2014-12-17