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Series Code: BOLS
Program Code: BOLS000052S
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00:00 (Breath of Life Theme Music)
00:06 Sermon #S028 - You've Overpaid For That - (Part 1) 00:19 Pastor Snell: This time, we're going to go ahead and turn to Proverbs Chapter 7. 00:23 Proverbs Chapter 7, and we're going to look together at verse number 6. 00:27 How many of us need a word from the Lord today? Amen. 00:29 Does any single folk need a word from the Lord? Do any married folk need a word from the Lord? 00:34 I believe there's a word from the Lord for somebody today, no matter what station or family life you're in this afternoon. 00:42 Proverbs chapter 7, and we're going to look together at verse number 6. When you get there, let me hear you say amen. 00:47 [Congregation: Amen.] 00:49 Amen. Then, I ask for your prayers, little sickness is going around my house. Gianna and the kids are not here today. 00:54 I ask that you would just say a brief prayer for them as well. Proverbs 7:6. I want to acknowledge, 01:00 one of my good friends in the house, Pastor Edmonds, and Dr. Shanae. Dr. Edmonds, 01:05 Dr. Shanae, raise your hand so the people could see you. Amen. Let's give them a hearty amen. 01:09 [Congregation: Amen] 01:11 Praise God. Proverbs chapter 7, and we're going to look together at verse number 6. Today, I'm going to be honest with you. 01:18 We're going to get into your business a little bit today. If there are times, you can't say amen, just say, ouch, come on, say it. 01:34 Proverbs 7:6. There are some things I believe God wants us to address. 01:39 How many of us understand that we don't grow by ignoring problems? We grow when we address them. There are times, 01:49 where sometimes in the body of Christ, we hope things away, we wish things away instead of addressing them. 01:54 God says, my people are not destroyed by knowing. They are destroyed by a lack of knowledge. 02:01 There are some uncomfortable things that we have to talk about even in the household of God. Proverbs 7:6. 02:06 When you get there just say, "Pastor, I'm ready." 02:09 [Congregation: Pastor, I'm ready] 02:10 The Bible says, and Solomon, speaking says, 02:12 "For at the window of my house, I looked through my lattice, and I saw amongst the simple, I perceived amongst the youths. 02:23 Is a young man devoid of what? Understanding. Passing along the street near her corner. 02:33 And he took the path to her house in the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night. 02:42 And there, a woman met him, with the attire of a harlot and a crafty heart. She was loud and rebellious. 02:52 Her feet would not stay at home. At times, she was outside. At times, in the open square, lurking at every corner. 03:05 So, she caught him and kissed him. With an impudent face, she said to him, I have peace offerings with me. 03:14 Today, I paid my vows. So, I came out to meet you, diligently to seek your face. 03:21 And I have found you. I have spread my bed with tapestry, colored coverings of Egyptian linen. 03:28 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, let us take our fill of love until morning. 03:39 Let us delight ourselves with love, for my husband is not at home. He has gone on a long journey. 03:50 He has taken a bag of money with him, and he will come home on the appointed day." 03:58 And notice, now, she makes a sexual proposition, but notice what gets him. 04:03 "With enticing speech, she calls him to yield. With her flattering lips, she seduced him. And immediately, 04:14 he went after her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, till an arrow struck his liver. 04:28 And as a bird hastens to the snare, he did not know it would cost his life. Now, therefore, listen to me, my children, 04:39 pay attention to the words of my mouth. Do not let your heart turn aside to her ways. Do not stray into her past. 04:48 For she has cast down many wounded, and all who were slain by her were" past tense, "strong men. Her house is the way to Hell, 05:00 descending to the chambers of death." 05:03 Again, I want to re-emphasize, verse 23. It says, "It was all good, till an arrow struck his liver. 05:13 And as a bird hastens to the snare, 05:16 he did not know it would cost him his life." 05:20 Today, saints, I want to talk to you for a little while under the subject, "You overpaid for that." 05:26 Turn to your neighbor real quick and say, let them know some choices. Now, tell them "Some choices cost too much." Amen. 05:37 Let's pray together. Lord, as we teach your word. I pray that you would cause the presence of your spirit to increase. 05:50 Father, I ask dear God, that the word would not just sit on the surface. That it would not just occupy the ear. 05:57 Lord, would you cause your word to get on the heart level today? 06:02 Father, I pray that you would allow your spirit to be so dense that it smothers all-rivaling principality and distraction. 06:12 Lord, once again, would you hide me in the shadows of the cross? That Jesus alone might be seen. That Christ alone will be heard. 06:20 At the end of our time together, let Jesus alone be praised. We ask this in the name of Him who is altogether lovely. 06:27 It is in the name of Jesus, that we pray. Let God's people say together. Amen. 06:32 [Congregation: Amen] 06:34 And, amen. You may be seated in the house of the Lord, inviting those from the outside to come in quickly. 06:49 Again, we're talking under the subject, "You overpaid for that." 06:59 About 2 years ago, I went down to preach in a little town called Keene, Texas. 07:07 The travel day had been prolonged by several flight delays and cancellations, so that, by the time I got to my hotel, 07:17 I was physically exhausted. From an appetite standpoint, because I had not had a chance to eat, I was famished. 07:25 Because there were no restaurants or markets in sight, I decided to go down to the hotel market 07:32 and buy some fruit right there by the registration counter. Much to my chagrin, I found a large bottle of water that was $7.95. 07:44 [Congregation: Laughing] 07:47 I got a bag of cashews, which was about 13 bucks. Under normal circumstances, I would not even consider overpaying for such things, 07:57 but there was an interesting dynamic at work. You see, the combination of my personal lack or hunger, 08:05 combined with its immediate availability, impaired my judgment, and caused me to overpay. 08:13 The crazy thing is that that's not even what I wanted. It's not necessarily what I preferred. 08:21 The only thing that made me overpay is that it was available. It's funny because the country lady at the counter, 08:30 she looked at me while I deliberated and it wasn't until after I swiped my card that she just laughed and said, "Honey, 08:39 you know you're overpaid for that." 08:41 [Congregation: Laughing] 08:44 Can I suggest, friends, that there is a formula that Satan uses against us? He knows that whenever there is a relational lack, 08:54 combined with certain inferior availabilities, he knows that he can make you overpay for certain circumstances. 09:04 Whether it is a single person choosing the wrong mate, or whether it is a married person operating outside of the covenant. 09:13 The devil just stands behind the counter laughing, knowing that you've overpaid for that. 09:20 The problem is that there are some of us that have made it with the wrong one that is paying a high emotional toll. 09:28 There are some of us that are emotionally bankrupt, because we've operated outside of the marital covenant, 09:35 and the enemy has made us vulnerable because we've over-appraised and valued circumstances that don't have a fair exchange rate. 09:46 If that makes sense let me hear you say, Amen. 09:48 [Congregation: Amen] 09:51 Today, friends of mine, as we get into this Word, I want to spend a little time talking about how to avoid some of the pitfalls 09:58 and the snares of infidelity. However, before I get to the married couples, the first word is for those who are unattached. 10:08 The first thing God wants somebody to know is that the things you overlooked in dating, will overwhelm you when you get married. 10:18 In other words, when it comes down to infidelity, and friends, the under-announced 10:24 and understated truth is that most adultery does not commence after you get married. 10:30 Many times it continues after you've gotten married. 10:35 In fact, friends, studies show that about 30% of affairs are actually a continuation of something that started 10:44 before you said I do, or it was somebody revisiting a relationship that was not completely sealed off. 10:53 There are some of us that are giving young people bad advice. We tell the young girls that he'll get it out of his system, 11:02 and young men convince themselves that she just happened to slip up. The truth is God is providing revelation. 11:11 How many of us know that revelation is not just a vision or a dream or where God carries you away in the spirit? 11:20 Revelation is when God causes a person to reveal their true character. 11:26 As they say, in the streets, when somebody shows you who they are, it's for your benefit to believe them. 11:36 Are you all hearing the word today? Friends of mine, when somebody operates in that way, 11:42 they're letting you know that they lack boundaries, that they lack readiness, 11:47 and in some cases, they lack respect for you as a person. There are certain plants that blossom after you got married, 11:56 but the seeds were planted while you were still in the courtship phase. 12:00 Friends, I'm not saying that people never mature. That they'll never ever change. 12:06 But I do need you to get that if they're cheating on you now, it's a sign that they're unprepared for marriage. 12:14 In other words, if they are failing in a covenant that's not permanent, 12:19 I need you to know that is not going to make them succeed when you actually say, "I do". In other words, 12:26 if they're failing the lesser test, why would you trust them with a greater test? 12:32 In other words, I remember when I was about 15 and I was first learning how to drive, 12:38 my dad took me to an empty grocery store parking lot, where I begin to test for the first time. 12:45 It's crazy because as a 15-year-old, I'm hyped and eager, so excited that I'm driving too fast, not following instructions, 12:54 not staying inside of the line, and my dad got so nervous that he said, "Son, the lesson is over, give me the keys to the car". 13:03 It's crazy because I was mad. I was like, "Daddy, we hadn't even been on the freeway yet." 13:09 And he's like, "Son if I can't trust you to drive straight when there ain't no traffic, 13:16 I certainly can't trust you to be straight on the freeway." 13:19 Where are you all at, church? If they can't be straight without pressure, they not going to be straight when real pressure is applied. 13:28 Are you all hearing from me today, saints? 13:30 [Congregation: Affirming] 13:31 Friends of mine, I need you to get that the larger issue today is twofold. 13:36 You see, too often, there are some of us that get married hoping folk will change. Understand, 13:44 there is a statement in the military that says, "Hope is not a strategy." 13:50 In other words, when you get married, you ought to be hopeful. Your disposition ought to be hope, but your strategy should not be hope. 14:00 In other words, friends, the reason we are hopeful and trying to pray certain things away is 14:07 because we don't have a strategy to address real issues. Are you all hearing the preacher today? 14:12 In other words, a strategy is to get connected to spiritual things. The strategy ought to be to get into some counseling. 14:20 The strategy ought to be to close off all former relationships. The reason you should not just pray or hope it better, 14:29 how many of us know that you can't pray into the closet what God is dragging out of the closet? 14:35 [Congregation: Affirming] 14:38 Are you all hearing what I'm saying today? This is why, young people, you can't get too tangled up while you're dating. 14:44 Are you all hearing me today? 14:45 [Congregation: Affirming] 14:48 Slow it down. There is a reason that your parents are counseling you to not get too intense and not tangled up too soon, 14:56 because the more entangled you get in courtship, the less likely you are to be willing to start over. Can I suggest, friends of mine? 15:08 That you're always headed for a mistake whenever you lose the courage to start over. 15:16 You see somebody overlooking obvious instability and drama, 15:24 understand that it's not so much about how enamored they are with the person. 15:29 Sometimes they've just invested so much that they don't have the courage to start over. 15:36 Do you realize that sometimes we get so lost in these relationships that our personal identity begins to evaporate to the point where 15:47 we're afraid to go to dinner by ourselves? Afraid to watch a movie by ourselves. Afraid to tell people that we are single again, 15:55 and we've gotten so lost that we've lost the courage to actually start over. 16:01 What I need you to know is that you ought not to fear what will happen if you start over, 16:07 you ought to be afraid of what's going to happen if you keep going forward. 16:12 [Congregation: Clapping] 16:14 Oh, it's going to get good in a minute. The problem with some of us is we are so afraid of missing out, 16:20 that we miss all that God has planned. In other words, I want what God has prepared for me, not what Satan has planted in my life. 16:30 [Congregation: Affirming] 16:33 You see, friends of mine, this is why you got to be careful about making investments that are greater than the level of your commitment. 16:41 At some point, you've poured so much into it that you feel like you've got to force something that comes out of it. 16:48 That's why the best thing you can do while you're dating is to maintain some relational autonomy. 16:57 In other words, as you go through this journey, you've got to maintain some emotional autonomy, 17:04 so that you're not so close that you can overlook some things. 17:08 You've got to maintain financial autonomy so that you're not sharing bills or an apartment, and you've got the option to walk away. 17:17 You've got to maintain some sexual autonomy so that you don't get blinded by lust that you overlook certain things. 17:25 The problem is when you lose your autonomy, you're weighing things that should not even be considered. 17:32 What I'm saying to somebody today is that when you get too tied up emotionally, 17:38 you take the joy out of a future proposal or even wedding day. In other words, brother, when you get ready to propose, 17:48 it out to be because you chose her, not because you're stuck with her. 17:54 [Congregation: Affirming] 17:56 Some of us are not in love. We're just obligated. 18:00 Are you all hearing what I'm saying? In other words, sister, when you say, "Yes," you ought to be saying yes to him 18:06 and not the situation. 18:08 [Congregation: Affirming] 18:10 I need somebody to hear me on this. You're playing checkers, but the devil's playing chess. 18:16 He's been looking at this thing from six moves before now. I need you to understand this principle, 18:23 that the person that settles now is going to be like the woman searching forever, 18:30 but if you continue your search then you'll be able to settle permanently, let me say it again. 18:36 Those that settle quickly, search forever. 18:39 Those that are willing to keep searching will be able to settle with the one that God has prepared. 18:46 Do I have at least six singles, who are saying, "I'm not going to settle. I'm going to continue my search. 18:53 I'm going to wait on what God has for me"? 18:56 [Congregation: Affirming] 18:58 Are you all hear me, today, friends? Friends of mine, that's why I want to encourage you to date in wholeness. 19:04 Somebody say, wholeness. 19:06 [Congregation: Wholeness] 19:07 In other words, you're not looking for your other half. 19:09 You're looking for your other whole because you are a whole man or woman in Jesus. 19:15 [Congregation: Affirming] 19:18 I need you to understand, some of us because we're operating as a half, what happens is, even though we're not married, 19:24 we're already knotted. What you don't want to do is you don't want to knot before you get married. Are you all hear what I'm saying? 19:33 [Congregation: Affirming] 19:35 You've got to function as a whole. In other words, because I've got small children and I know the parents are with me. 19:39 I spend a whole lot of time in my life pulling knots. I don't know kids' shoes. Am I preaching to anybody today? 19:49 It's crazy because like reason that sometimes kids get knots in their shoes, you know how it is when you tie the shoe 19:57 and you put it in place, you realize that before you pull it, you're supposed to have 2 whole loops. 20:05 [Congregation: Affirming] 20:07 No, no. Before you pull it. You're supposed to have 2 whole loops and when you've got 2 whole loops, guess what? 20:15 It's easy to untie. 20:17 [Congregation: Affirming] 20:19 The reason they have knots is because they get in a hurry and instead of getting 2 whole loops, 20:26 they get a half loop or 2 halves and they pull it into a knot and now they can't get out of it. Are you all not hearing me today? 20:36 [Congregation: Affirming] 20:38 What I'm saying is that when you are whole and they're a whole, you can get out of it. When you ain't nothing 20:45 but a half loop, and he ain't nothing but a half loop, and you tie yourself together, 20:51 it's impossible to get out of that thing. Are you all hearing the word today? 20:56 [Congregation: Affirming] 20:58 I want to function as a whole person, not a half. Can the church say, Amen? 21:02 [Congregation: Amen] 21:04 Let's get a little deeper into this thing. Proverbs chapter 7 and let's look at verse 6. 21:08 When you all get there, let me hear you say, Amen. 21:10 [Congregation: Amen] 21:12 Proverbs 7:6. The Bible says, "For at the window of my house, I looked through my lattice, 21:21 and I saw amongst the simple, I perceived amongst the youth a young man devoid of understanding". 21:28 The second thing, this thing teaches us today, friends of mine, is that there is no marital sin that remains a secret. 21:41 Are you all here with the pastor today? 21:43 [Congregation: Affirming] 21:46 You all notice here, what you're reading in Proverbs 7, is not metaphorical. This is not an illustrative scenario. 21:52 This is simply Solomon explaining what he sees from the window of his house, 21:59 as he details his reckonings of what happens underneath the sun and the interesting thing, friends, 22:06 is that nobody brings this information to Solomon. Nobody outs the couple that's doing wrong. 22:13 Solomon is just trying to close the curtains before he goes to bed. 22:18 And all of a sudden he sees an affair that's in the formation phase, are you all hearing me today? 22:25 See, understand, Solomon knows what's going down before he hears the conversation that is being stated. 22:32 In other words, the Bible says that he can look through the window and he can tell by their body language something is about to go down. 22:43 He can tell by the way she dresses. He can tell by the way she stands. 22:48 He can look at the young man's overconfidence. He's able to detect his naivete 22:55 and the reason that these 2 out themselves is how many of us know that the easiest thing to see is the attraction? 23:04 See, I need you to know that before anybody outs you, your behavior is going to already out you. 23:13 Are you all hearing what I'm saying? 23:14 I need you to know that Solomon ain't looking for nobody. He just happened to look up 23:20 and he sees this thing in formation. Are you all with the pastor today? 23:24 In other words, I need you to get, friends, that there is body language to attraction. 23:31 And there are folk that are in your inner circle that work with you on your job, that are inside of your network. 23:37 That even though you've not made an announcement, they've not read a text message, they just looking at how you move. 23:45 [Congregation: Affirming] 23:46 And they can tell something is wrong. Am I telling the truth today? 23:49 So that whether it's 2 single folk or a married person that's inappropriately flirting, you can tell when there is an attraction. 23:57 There's a body language to attraction. 24:00 So you can tell when a young lady is into a young man. 24:03 You can tell by her body language how big she begins to smile or how she's always checking on her hair 24:10 or when she begins to load up on the lip gloss. 24:13 Or when she starts laughing at stuff that ain't funny or even when class or work is over, 24:19 she just lingers a little while to give him the opportunity to make the next advance. Are you all hearing what I'm saying? 24:26 There's body language. When a brother is into a young lady. After a while, what a man is going to do, 24:32 they say a man is going to enlarge himself. He's going to stand up tall or sit up straight to appear more dominant and attractive. 24:39 He's going to begin to fake-create reasons to be around you. 24:43 When you're walking down the sidewalk at some point, he's going to stop and tie his shoe so he can get the back angle. 24:50 [Congregation: Laughing] 24:52 Oh come on, come on, brothers. We know the tricks. Come out and say that. "Oh man, I've got to tie my shoe. 24:57 Oh, let me check my phone." 24:59 [Congregation: Laughing] 25:02 What I'm saying today, friends of mine is that there are times when we think folk are coming for us. 25:08 When the truth is that there are involuntary actions that put the community on notice that some dirt is going on. 25:17 Are you all hearing what I'm saying? 25:20 It's crazy because before a solicitation has been made, you've got to realize that the body language has begun to out the people 25:27 and there are times when God will send messengers to say, "Hey bro, you're going down the wrong path," to say, "Sis, what's going on?" 25:35 And there are times where we get in our feelings and we're telling folks to get out of our business. 25:40 But sometimes it is the first indication. It is the check engine light, that's letting you know, you're about to pay too much. 25:51 Thank you so much for joining us for the Breath of Life Television Ministries broadcast with Pastor Debleaire Snell! 25:58 We hope and pray that you have been blessed by part one of “You've Overpaid for That” the third message in our “Family-ish” series. 26:09 Please join us next week for Part Two of “You've Overpaid for That” You don't want to miss it! 26:23 Have you ever felt like you were on the verge of something big, like you were on the precipice of something providential? 26:31 You could sense God's divine movement in your life, 26:35 but you didn't quite know how to anticipate the space of being on the verge of something. You got stuck in a place of anticipation 26:44 and you got settled or cemented in your current reality. 26:48 I want you to know, friends, that on January the seventh I'm going to begin a new teaching series entitled On the Verge of Something. 26:57 This series, we're going to follow Israel's journey from the Passover to the Red Sea, 27:03 where they went from being in a place of anticipation, where they're able to see God's ultimate plan come to pass for their lives. 27:11 This series is for somebody that's got a living vision on the inside of their soul. 27:17 It's for that person that has dreams gestating inside of their spirit. 27:23 And so I want to encourage you to join us each Saturday at 11 a.m. and each Wednesday at 7 p.m. and then on Sunday, January the eighth. 27:32 I want you to join us for our 21 days of Prayer. Each Saturday and Sunday, we're going to join together at 8 a.m. 27:39 and each Monday through Friday, we'll meet at 6 a.m. Central Standard Time. We're going to pray, 27:46 we're going to testify and give messages of encouragement to those who believe they're on the verge of something. 27:53 And so this year, I want to encourage you to make sure you don't water down your vision, that you don't belittle your dreams. 28:01 I want you to stay unrealistic in your convictions because this year you too, are on the verge of something. 28:18 (Breath of Life Theme Music) 28:42 [END] |
Revised 2023-01-19