Participants:
Series Code: BOLS
Program Code: BOLS000113S
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00:04 #S059 - “The Need To Modify” (Part 2)
00:19 Welcome to the Breath of Life Television Ministries 00:22 broadcast with Pastor Debleaire Snell. 00:26 In today's episode, Pastor Snell will continue part 00:31 two of the powerful message titled 00:34 The Need to Modify. 00:37 Now let's hear more from God's Word. 00:42 And let me just say, man, sometimes you've got someone 00:44 saying you got to make sure 00:45 that you don't have low standards, 00:46 but you got to make sure 00:47 that your standards are rooted in reality. 00:51 I think that some of y'all trippin. 00:53 I saw you a little list 00:54 about places you can't go on first dates 00:59 in the name of Jesus. 01:00 You better take Cheesecake Factory off that list. 01:04 It is a great first date place. 01:08 I took my wife there this week. Come on in. 01:10 Hey, man, I did. 01:16 But what I'm saying is that when you get thirsty enough, 01:18 what will happen is you begin 01:19 compromising values and principles. 01:23 In other words, if he unemployed, 01:26 he just a whale. 01:30 No, there's a difference between can't find a job 01:33 and won't work. 01:34 Do I have a witness out there today? 01:36 I right. Unemployed. 01:37 He ain't a spring. He is a whale. 01:40 If you have to tell him basic things, 01:44 if you got to tell him to open the door, 01:45 come on, ladies, and say that 01:47 if you have to tell him, call and don't text. 01:51 If you have to tell him, knock on the door. 01:54 Don't walk in the driveway. 01:56 He ain't a spring. He's a whale. 01:58 You are here. 01:59 What I'm saying today, brothers, 02:00 if all she got is look, she ain't nothing but a whale. 02:05 If she don't know how to pray, she's just a whale. 02:09 If she's only professional but not spiritual, she's a whale. 02:12 If she's more annoying than anointed, she is a whale 02:18 and all whales are destined to run dry. 02:21 You are hearing me today, Prince. 02:24 Second thing, Jesus is teaching this. 02:26 This, this, this woman. 02:27 He's trying to show her 02:29 that satisfaction can't come from without 02:33 real satisfaction comes from within. 02:36 So again, Jesus now using truth that she doesn't know 02:38 to communicate a truth 02:40 that she is able to ultimately understand. 02:44 And he's going to give her a relational truth. 02:45 And if you receive the Saints, 02:46 it is going to change 02:48 your whole outlook on love and dating and interaction. 02:53 So Jesus now says to this woman, If you keep coming here 02:55 to this whale, you're going to always have to keep coming back. 03:03 He's saying, This whale won't ever be able to make you happy. 03:07 This whale won't ever be able to satisfy you. 03:10 But he says, What I want to do for you. 03:11 He says, I want to give you 03:13 a different type of water, some that you've never seen before. 03:18 He says, I'm going to give you a living water. 03:21 And he literally says that this whale is going to stop living. 03:25 Water is going to be come in. 03:27 You did your catch that it's going to become in you 03:30 a spring that whales up in into everlasting life. 03:35 In other words, Jesus is trying to help 03:36 her understand that if this whale is your source, 03:40 it's okay. 03:42 You will always be attached to the whale. 03:48 If the whale is your source, you will always be dependent 03:50 on the whale. 03:52 If the whale is your source, you'll never be able 03:54 to walk away from the whale. 03:56 If this whale is your source, you will never own the whale. 04:00 But the whale will always own you. 04:02 You hear me today? 04:03 And so what he's saying is, 04:04 I want to not just give you a spring. 04:08 He says, I want to put a spring in you. 04:10 And what a spring was. 04:11 In ancient times, you would have water aquifers that would be 04:14 stored, water that would feed the entire community. 04:19 Well, what happened is when you had an infusion 04:20 of water through rain or river overflow or melted ice, 04:25 what would happen is you would have these involuntary springs 04:28 that would begin bursting 04:29 through rock and mountain and it would create an overflow. 04:34 And because there was such abundance, 04:35 it would create a spring that would overflow and run 04:40 into every body that was close to it. 04:44 And so 04:44 I need somebody to understand 04:45 that when you shift your relational focus 04:49 and stop worrying so much about being with them 04:52 and getting connected with him, what God says is 04:56 you won't need satisfaction from the outside. 05:00 But he says, I'll put a spring on the inside of you 05:05 so that your soul is never thirsty. 05:08 Your heart is always well-watered. 05:11 You never have to look for love from the outside 05:14 because you have such abundance on the inside. 05:17 He says that when you've got living water, 05:20 you have a spring in your spirit 05:23 that allows you to go past broken whales 05:27 and cats that 05:29 you see when you've got it inside of you. 05:33 You can bypass lesser options outside of you. 05:37 Oh, God. 05:39 In other words, when it's welling up inside of you 05:42 friends, you pass by wells that do not satisfy. 05:47 And let me just say this. 05:49 The reason that some of us are dependent on whales is because 05:52 we ain't got no spring. 05:56 In other words, we need somebody else to complete us. 06:01 We need somebody else to satisfy us. 06:03 We need somebody else to make us happy. 06:06 We need somebody else to make us whole. 06:08 But I need somebody to know that your wholeness 06:10 is not in Peterson Hall. 06:12 It's not in weight. 06:13 It's not on tender, it's not on eHarmony. 06:16 You find your satisfaction in Jesus Christ. 06:22 Are you? Hear what I'm saying today, friends? 06:24 And let me pass this to say this real quick, 06:26 that when you're a spring, spring 06:29 should never mate with a desert. 06:35 Ah, you'll hear what I'm saying. 06:37 You would take a spring in a desert, 06:39 go well, but understand a desert is desert by nature. 06:44 So eventually what he's going to do 06:45 is go take all of the surplus from the spring. 06:49 So I need you to know you're not in a good relational space 06:53 until your spring and you get with a spring. 06:57 In other words, when you're in the overflow 07:00 and he's in the overflow, when you're in the overflow 07:03 and she's in the overflow 07:04 and you both have it welling up inside of you 07:08 when the two of you connect, there is such an abundance 07:11 that the relationship never runs dry. 07:15 Are you all here in this world today, Prince? 07:18 You need somebody that's not in the spiritual desert, 07:21 but somebody that's in the spiritual overflow. 07:25 And see, this is a very powerful, 07:26 relational truth for somebody today, 07:28 because it shows us the metric by which, you know, 07:31 you're ready to be in a relationship. 07:36 See, when you're a spring, who got 07:40 you got too much to contain. 07:44 When you're spring, you got more than you can keep to yourself. 07:48 When you've got a spring in you, you got so much bubbling, 07:51 that man, you got to have somebody to share it with. 07:54 In other words, you know, you're ready when you're 07:57 relationship seeking is not about what you need to get. 08:02 It's about what you have to give. 08:04 Oh, God. 08:06 In other words, you 08:07 don't want to get with somebody because you need to be loved. 08:11 You want to get with somebody cause 08:12 you got too much love to keep to yourself. 08:15 When you want to get with somebody. 08:17 It's not because you need to be taken care of. 08:21 It's cause you're ready to take care of somebody else. 08:23 It's not because you want to be served, 08:26 but because you want to serve somebody else. 08:28 In other words, you're not operating out of a deficit. 08:31 You're operating out of a surplus. 08:33 You realize I've got too much goodness to be alone. 08:37 I got too much intelligence to be alone. 08:39 Got too much to offer to be alone. 08:42 Because it's not about what I need. 08:45 It's about what I bring to the table. 08:48 Okay. 08:50 Some of you are with me, so let me say it in a secular way. 08:51 You understand? 08:53 So you know how, like, back in the day, 08:55 like when you back in the day. 08:58 Let me say this disclaimer. 09:01 When you went to the party 09:04 back in the day. 09:07 So if you went to a party 09:08 of a very cheap host, 09:11 the invitation, you would say something like BYOB. 09:15 Oh, you know, I'd like to know what I'm talking about, 09:18 which may bring your act and brand 09:20 new you at. 09:23 I mean, I don't really know. 09:24 I read this on the Internet. 09:26 This is this what I heard somebody say 09:31 it would be b, y, o b, which meant bring your own bottle. 09:36 Or even as date, rape culture began to emerge. 09:39 Sometimes the ladies would bring their own bottle 09:41 because they didn't know what was in the punch bowl. 09:43 And so because they didn't want to be subject to what 09:47 somebody else was poisoning, oh, you ought to hear this. 09:51 They would make sure to bring their own. 09:55 So I want to shift this today to them. 09:57 Just bring your own bottle. 09:59 But when it comes down to relationships, I need you to be 10:02 y0hi need you to bring your own happiness. 10:08 I need somebody to be y0j bring your own joy. 10:13 I need somebody to be y0l bring your own love. 10:18 I need somebody to be y0s. 10:21 Bring your own satisfaction. 10:23 I need somebody to be y0m. 10:26 Because he base prays for dinner. 10:29 You ain't got to sleep with him. 10:29 Cause you bought your own money. 10:31 I need you to be y. Okay? 10:34 You need to bring your own anointing. 10:37 Be y0v cause you bring your own value. 10:41 Be y o see you brought your own contentment. 10:45 Bring y0c you bought your own confidence. 10:49 You don't need nobody to tell you. 10:51 Yo, fine, because you saw. 10:54 It in the mirror. 10:57 You ain't need nobody to tell you 11:00 You got value, you bought it yourself. 11:03 You carried it yourself. 11:06 You don't need it from the outside 11:09 because you got it operating in the inside. 11:12 Ya hear me today, friends? 11:16 Third thing this is teaching 11:19 is going to get a 11:20 little uncomfortable right up in here. 11:23 13 Jesus teaching her is you got to learn 11:27 how to be a keeper and not a placeholder. 11:33 Her company said Holy Spirit. 11:39 So you girl frater, she's ready to receive that. 11:41 She's like, Oh, now 11:44 where can I get this living? 11:45 One that I don't never, ever have to come and draw again. 11:50 And it's crazy because Jesus now Ellen White talks 11:52 about how she has to repent of certain form. 11:55 A former relationship practices 11:57 in order to receive what God has in store for her. 12:00 So he says, okay, you go call your husband 12:03 now. See, you know who he was in. 12:06 So she tried to get, get, get, create a semantic escape. 12:09 He says, Man, well, you know, I ain't got no husband. 12:12 And she's like, Yeah, you say that, right? 12:15 Yeah. 12:16 You ain't got no husband. 12:16 You have five husbands 12:19 and the one you are now with 12:21 is just a live in boyfriend 12:25 and see her relationship. 12:26 History friends is teaching us some things. 12:30 And what I want to talk about for just a moment, 12:31 I want to put a strong emphasis 12:33 on beauty, of character, because it shows us 12:40 that sometimes what causes people to choose you initially 12:43 is not what's going to keep them choosing you daily. 12:47 Ooh, God. 12:49 What causes them to ask you out on a first date 12:53 won't keep you 20 years into a ah, y'all hear 12:56 what I'm saying today, friends. 12:58 And see, I need us to understand that the issue is not how. 13:01 See, look, 13:02 your girl got it going on 13:04 her problems. 13:05 Not that she can't get a man. 13:11 I mean, like holly berries. 13:12 You can. You can get a man. 13:14 Oh, yeah, yeah. 13:17 Brother's like don't say that about Holly I to worried 13:21 if she can get one 13:26 and then a lot of this is where society mixes messes up 13:29 and we allow ourselves 13:30 to be shaped by culture because for too many of us, 13:32 the trophy is just getting someone. 13:36 But that's not really God's aim. 13:37 And God's goal is not just for you to be with somebody. 13:40 The goal is for you to have such a beauty 13:43 of character and inward traits that that person can't 13:46 wait to get home to you 40 years from now. 13:51 Are you all hearing what I'm saying to make friends? 13:55 And it's crazy because like, 13:56 you know, 13:57 I need to know that no matter how you look, 13:59 I need to know that you are exactly 14:01 what somebody is looking for. 14:04 No, no, no. 14:05 You're exactly what somebody is looking for. 14:06 But I need you to know that's not really the end all, be all. 14:08 Because, again, she's got enough looks to get her chosen 14:11 on the front end. 14:13 But, man, there's not enough something on the inside 14:16 to kind of keep her connected with somebody on the long term. 14:19 In other words, this requires some introspection. 14:21 Friends, 14:24 what is it about you that always causes people 14:26 to ghost you after three weeks? 14:32 What is it about you that they'll ask you out 14:34 or they'll say yes on the first couple of days? 14:36 But after two months, man, things always disintegrate. 14:39 In other words, 14:41 you've got to kind of ask yourself, in talking to 14:42 perhaps the older ladies a little bit, 14:44 you've got to kind of ask yourself the question, 14:45 why is it that he's okay sleeping with you 14:49 and living with you? But he won't marry you? 14:52 You've got to ask yourself, 14:53 why am I that woman that always gets him ready for the wife? 14:57 But I'm never the wife 15:00 are you hear what I'm saying nonetheless, brother, 15:02 you got to begin asking yourself, 15:04 man, why is it that man she loses interest 15:07 after five or six months every time? 15:11 Why is it that she always loses respect every time? 15:14 Why is it that she always 15:16 begins to lose interest and put you in the friendzone? 15:18 Why is it that the antennas of her parents are awakened 15:24 and they begin to protest her movements in your direction? 15:27 In other words, are you just too overbearing? 15:31 And these you know, brother, you're doing too much. 15:32 If you add Wade Hall 15:33 and she go to court hall and you got to call her before 15:36 you get to Carter, if you had the CAS and she going to Carter, 15:44 you got to keep her guessing a little bit. 15:46 Are you hear what I'm saying today? 15:48 And let me just say this, friends of mine, 15:50 is that kind of get into this. 15:52 You got to ask yourself, am I a keeper 15:56 or does they see me as a placeholder 16:00 brother? 16:01 Do you have husband traits? 16:09 A man? 16:12 Are they different than boyfriend traits? 16:16 Are you mature? 16:19 Do you know how to manage money? 16:23 Do you know what and what not to say? 16:27 Do your words and your actions align? 16:31 Is your best skill gaming 16:33 playing Fortnite? 16:37 Are you a place holder or are you a keeper? 16:42 Sister, are you a placeholder or you keeper? 16:46 Are you the good time girl 16:50 or the lifetime girl? 16:54 Are you industrious where you have multiple layers to you? 16:59 Well, you know how to make money and dinner 17:05 and a lack of all your young girls all trippin. 17:07 And it may not be a great formula. 17:09 I see. 17:09 I need to know that 17:10 being progressive don't mean you can't cook. 17:16 It means you're professional and you can. 17:19 I don't hear what I'm saying. Today. 17:21 We'd be bragging about the wrong. 17:22 So I know I don't cook. 17:24 I know all I know how to do is make reservations. 17:28 Know you want to be well-rounded in your human being. 17:31 Say, like, I don't fix stuff like my dad, 17:33 but I wasn't boasting about that too. 17:35 If I didn't know that until it was too late. 17:38 We got married. 17:44 Are you hearing what I'm saying? 17:46 Are you a placeholder holder? 17:47 Are you a keeper? 17:49 Do you have traits that make people literally 17:53 want to bind their hearts to you forever? 17:54 And matter of fact, go with me quickly in the Bible. 17:56 Proverbs Chapter 31, Proverbs 31, in verse one, 17:58 I want you to see something real quick in the word. 18:01 Proverbs 31, first 30. 18:03 When you go to enemy, you say minimum 18:04 was then Proverbs 31 and let's look together here adverse 30. 18:08 So I need you to realize that we got to put a little bit 18:10 more focus on the inner beauty. 18:12 The Bible says in Proverbs 31, verse 18:13 30, that charm is deceitful and beauty is what. 18:18 But a woman who fears the Lord, she says, I'll be praise. 18:22 See, I need you to understand that a man or woman 18:25 that has inner beauty, 18:26 I need you to know that they don't have a plateau. 18:30 They don't peak when they're 25 or 35. 18:33 But because they've got a spring on the inside, 18:36 they've got a beauty that begins to well up on the inside 18:40 and the more they age and mature, the more beautiful 18:42 they get with time, 18:44 the more attractive he is in time. 18:47 But he can't 18:48 or she can't be a well, there's got to be a spring. 18:52 Listen, last thing I want to say real quick. 18:56 One of things Jesus teaching us stay with me, friends, 18:58 is that at some point you've got to modify your type. 19:04 Y'all stay with me. CHURCH 19:06 okay. 19:07 Let me say this again. 19:09 For those in the back 19:12 at some point you've got to modify your type. 19:15 Okay? 19:17 So sometimes we look 19:18 at this woman crazy because we're like, 19:20 oh, man, she should have had five 19:22 husbands and, you know, a live in boyfriend. 19:26 She didn't been with six different men. 19:28 Can I suggest that 19:29 maybe she hadn't been with six different men? 19:32 She's been with six versions of the same man. 19:41 Y'all got to put a big offering in the offering tray. 19:43 I'm preaching some tea out today. 19:46 In other words, like the reason maybe she gets messed up 19:50 is that she has a type that determines 19:54 the end of the relationship and the selection process. 19:59 In other words, maybe she is one of those ladies. 20:02 This has got a thing for the roughneck gangster guys, 20:05 and maybe she realizes 20:07 the hard way that thugs don't make good husbands. 20:10 In other words, what looks strong on 20:12 the music video 20:13 don't look good in the house when he walk out of the door 20:16 and leave you in the apartment 20:17 with three hot babies with no air conditioning, all 20:22 you want to 20:23 leave that thug drunk on TV? 20:26 Maybe she's the lady that just kind of has a thing 20:28 for that play of that guy 20:30 that has that charm, that knows what to say, 20:32 even when she knows he ain't telling the truth. 20:34 But she realizes 20:35 that the player thing don't work in a committed relationship. 20:38 Or maybe she's one of those ladies 20:40 that just likes a project. 20:44 She likes to fix things up. 20:47 She likes shopping at Lowe's. 20:49 She wants to do it herself. 20:50 Come on. His aim, 20:52 she want to build something. 20:53 She want to make something. 20:55 Is it a problem sometimes with this lady 20:57 is that they don't know the difference 20:59 between potential and permanent. 21:06 If he 22 he got potential. 21:09 If he 47 that joint is permanent. 21:11 Oh are here. 21:12 What I'm saying this it is what it is. 21:15 He ain't. He's like this. 21:17 It's all the 47 year old man. 21:19 Look, I know that's a 21:22 Jesus can do anything. 21:23 Yeah, you can, right? 21:29 There's some of us that consistently, 21:31 consistently kind of choose the wrong thing. 21:35 And it's crazy, because what happens is 21:36 when you choose the wrong thing consistently, stay with me. 21:39 Church 21:40 What happens is you begin to develop men 21:42 wrong conclusions 21:43 about all men or women simply because you keep choosing 21:47 the same type. 21:48 So what will happen is bitterness and jaded, 21:50 and this will set in 21:51 and you will start saying stuff like, Oh, men cheat 21:55 and all men are dogs and all men are selfish 22:00 and all women are scandalous and all women are deceptive 22:04 and all women treat you a certain way. 22:05 Are you hear what I'm saying? 22:06 And the problem is that's not your relational destiny 22:09 is your relational rubric. 22:14 That's just what you choose. 22:16 And the end is very much determined at the very start 22:20 of the relationship. 22:21 You'll hear what the pastor saying today. 22:24 And he even there some of us, we are too loyal 22:26 to our preference. 22:31 Oh, Louis, you even realize what the word preference is. 22:39 It's just pre 22:42 reference. 22:45 In other words, your preference is simply my lean toward 22:50 that which I've already had. 22:52 And it's not even necessarily what you want, it's 22:55 just what you know. 22:57 It's not what you need. 22:58 It's just what you're familiar with. 23:00 It's not what's best for you. 23:02 It's just what your are comfortable with. 23:04 And see some of us because in our previous reference, 23:07 we never had a spiritual man, we never had a spiritual woman. 23:11 So we put those kind of folk in the friendzone 23:15 because there are some guys who are so deluded in their 23:17 thinking that you don't even see spirituality as sexy. 23:23 You don't even realize how attractive it is. 23:25 You don't even realize what kind of value in peace 23:28 and joy a woman who loves God brings to your life. 23:32 Are you tired of just being tired? 23:35 Are you frustrated because your results never change? 23:39 Do you feel like life is just going in circles? 23:43 I'm excited to introduce my newest book entitled 23:48 Excuse List, and I'm going to be talking about how to cancel 23:51 the excuse this that smother our soul wellness. 23:54 I need you to know that your issue is not 23:56 your circumstances. 23:58 It's not the challenges. 24:00 It is the lies that we 24:01 tell ourselves about why we're not progressing. 24:04 When you tell yourself, I don't have enough time, 24:06 I don't have enough resources, I don't have enough money. 24:10 Those are the excuses that are keeping you 24:12 from becoming whom God has called you to be. 24:15 So this book 24:16 is going to be talking to you 24:17 about how to manage your distractions, 24:19 how to overcome your fears, how 24:21 to walk through procrastination, and to become the best version 24:25 of yourself. 24:26 So join me on Saturday, April the 13th, as I begin 24:30 a teaching series entitled Excuses. 24:33 Every Saturday and Wednesday, 24:35 we're going to walk through the Word of God 24:37 and give you the cheat code 24:39 to having a life filled with progress. 24:41 And then I want you to join us starting Sunday, 24:43 April the 14th, for our 21 days of free. 24:48 We're going to march through the content of the book. 24:50 We're going to testify. 24:51 We're going to call on the name of the Lord, 24:53 and we're going to grow as a community of faith. 24:56 You'll be able to get the book. 24:57 It's useless on our Breath of Life website 25:01 at www.BreathofLife.tv or on Amazon.com. 25:07 You can join us for 21 days on our open university church 25:09 platforms and on our breadth of life platforms. 25:13 I need you to know that we're about to start a revolution. 25:17 There's about to be a growth grenade. 25:19 I would invite you to join me on this journey as we begin 25:23 the process of becoming excuse. 25:32 Hey, family. 25:34 I know the weekends can be long. 25:36 They can be hard. 25:37 And you go through a lot. 25:39 And so at the end of each week, I want to encourage you to 25:43 join me and the Breath of Life team for the weekend. 25:46 Exhale with BOL. 25:49 We were having these programs on Sunday, 25:51 but now we want to begin the week in 25:54 giving you a little nourishment, a little nurture, 25:57 giving you a little boost as you start the weekend. 26:00 Every first Friday, I'm going to be doing a Bible study 26:03 entitled The Playbook, 26:05 where we're going to be looking 26:06 at issues of doctrine and culture 26:09 through the lens of the scripture. 26:10 You don't have to guess. 26:12 You don't have to hope. 26:13 God is giving us a script in the word 26:16 because the word is this playbook. 26:18 I'm gonna invite you to join me every second Friday for a show 26:21 called Point of View, where Gianna and I do a deep dove 26:25 into issues of marriage dating and relationships. 26:29 Every third Friday, join Pastor Nugent 26:32 and myself in the Vision Lab where we're going to be making 26:37 a heavy deposit into leaders of all fields. 26:41 We're going to be pouring into pastors, entrepreneurs, CEOs, 26:45 ministry leaders, authors, 26:46 and we're going to be talking about how to build that vision 26:49 and move it from an idea to a reality. 26:52 And then on the fourth Friday, 26:53 we're introducing a new program called what Just Happened. 26:58 We're going to be looking at whatever 26:59 the trending topics in culture are. 27:02 Danita, Pastor Nugent and myself, 27:04 we're going to be addressing whatever 27:06 the trending culture topic is for that week or that month. 27:10 We're going to be engaging with you. 27:12 We're going to be answering your questions 27:14 and trying to figure out how we as believers 27:18 find our place in the larger culture. 27:20 We go through a lot 27:21 during the weekends. You can get overwhelmed, 27:24 you can get a little stressed out. 27:25 But before you go into the 27:26 weekend, take a moment and join us to stop, breathe 27:31 and exhale with BOL 28:04 (Breath Of Life Music) |
Revised 2024-03-27