Participants:
Series Code: BOLS
Program Code: BOLS000140S
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00:05 #S073 - No More Excuses For Refusing To Forgive (Part 1)
00:19 I want to invite you to go with me 00:21 to the Book of Matthew, chapter 18. 00:23 Matthew Chapter 18. 00:25 And we're going to begin together at verse number 21, 00:28 a very, very familiar 00:30 verse of scripture, Matthew 18 and verse 21. 00:34 And for those who are watching online, I would ask 00:36 if you are an apple apostle or digital disciple, 00:39 if you're an electronic evangelist, 00:40 if you would do the work of sharing, if you are on Facebook 00:43 copying the link and sending it to somebody 00:46 on YouTube that they might be blessed as well. 00:48 Matthew Chapter 18 and verse number 21. 00:51 When you get there, let me hear you say amen. 00:53 Matthew Chapter 18 00:56 and we're going to look together at verse 21. 01:00 Now, let me just go ahead and say from the outset 01:04 that today's message, if you receive it, Saints, 01:08 is there anybody in the house with me today? 01:10 If you receive this word, 01:13 it is not going to change your life down the line. 01:16 It is going to change your life today. 01:20 And I need you 01:21 to be clear that sometimes a good sermon 01:25 can be like surgery. 01:29 You never look forward to it, 01:32 but you're better for having gone through it. 01:35 And so 01:36 I'm going to encourage you to listen with spiritual leaders 01:39 to what the Lord has to say to the body today. 01:41 Matthew, Chapter 18, Matthew 18 and verse 21, 01:45 the Bible says. 01:47 Then Peter came and said, Lord, 01:52 how often shall my brother sin against me? 01:56 And I forgive him up to seven times. 02:00 And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you 02:03 up to seven times, but to 70 times, seven. 02:08 Therefore, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king 02:13 who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 02:15 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one 02:18 was brought to him who owed 10,000 talents, 02:22 but as he was not what able to pay his master commanded 02:28 that he be sold with his wife and his children and all that. 02:31 He had that payment be made 02:34 and the servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 02:37 Master, have patience with me and I will pay you all. 02:42 Then the master of that servant was moved with what? 02:45 With compassion 02:47 released him and did what forgave him. 02:52 Did you catch that? 02:53 He didn't put it in forbearance. 02:55 He didn't put him on a payment plan. 02:57 The Bible says he forgave the debt, 03:01 but the servant went out 03:04 and found one of his fellow servants who owed him 03:09 100 naira and laid hands on him 03:13 and took him by the throat saying, Pay me what you owe. 03:18 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him 03:22 Sing, Have patience with me and I will pay you all. 03:26 And he would not, but went and threw him into the prison 03:32 till he should be able to pay the debt. 03:35 So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, 03:37 they were very grieved 03:38 and came and told their master all that had been done. 03:42 Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 03:45 You wicked servant, 03:47 I forgave you. 03:49 Are you all here to church? 03:51 Are you here? Me, church? 03:52 Are you all with the pastor today? 03:55 I forgave you 03:58 all the debt because you begged me. 04:01 Should you not also have had compassionate compassion 04:05 on your fellow servant, just as I have pity on you 04:10 and his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers 04:14 until he should pay all that was due to him. 04:17 So My Heavenly Father 04:20 will do to each of you from his heart, 04:23 who does not forgive his brother 04:26 his trespasses. 04:29 Today, Saints, I want to talk to you 04:31 for a little while under the subject. 04:32 No more excuses for refusing to forgive. 04:38 No more excuses for refusing to forgive. 04:41 Let's pray together, Father. 04:46 I pray that you would to the ground of the soul 04:52 that your word might have 04:54 a safe lodging place in which in order to grow. 04:58 And so, Father, I'm praying for a strange 05:01 anointing for the preaching of the word. 05:04 And then, dear God, would you give a sufficient 05:06 anointing that we would be able to hear it rightly digested 05:11 and be swift in the application 05:14 and so, Father, I'm praying that the faith to obey 05:17 would multiply exponentially in the hearing of the word. 05:21 Would you please hide me in the shadows of the cross that 05:24 Jesus alone might be seen, that Christ alone might be heard? 05:30 And at the end of our time together, 05:31 let Jesus alone be praised. Bless us. 05:34 To this end, 05:35 we ask in the wonderful name of Jesus, our Lord, 05:38 let them that believe, say together. 05:40 Amen. And a man. You may be seated 05:44 in the House of the Lord again. 05:45 No more excuses 05:48 for refusing to forgive. 05:53 You know, saints, you should know 05:57 that Satan is a master of misdirection, 06:03 so that if you're alert and on guard 06:07 and paying attention over here, rest assured 06:11 that attack and assault is going to come from over there. 06:16 In fact, Song of Solomon 215 06:20 says To Catch the Foxes, for 06:22 it is the little foxes that destroy the harvest. 06:27 So in ancient times, a farmer would be on guard 06:29 against locusts and raid wars and inclement weather. 06:35 But yet it was some tiny baby foxes that threatened him. 06:38 The well-being of the harvest. 06:41 And sometimes saints weep again. 06:43 We remain alert to very obvious threats while we overlook 06:48 some threats that have potential to destroy the harvest. 06:52 In other words, 06:53 we maintain diligence about certain issues of morality 06:58 so that we are on guard against sexual temptation. 07:02 We have a high standard about drinking. 07:04 We have a standard about smoking. 07:08 We won't even allow certain food inside of our house. 07:11 Yet we have an open door policy for offenses 07:17 and we leave our guests room for unforgiveness. 07:20 In fact, friends, my fear is that some will have lived 07:25 a life of moral excellence where you learned not to smoke 07:30 and you chose not to drink and you avoided vile conversation. 07:34 But you will wind up lost in eternity 07:37 because you never learn how to handle offenses 07:41 and you never learned the discipline of forgiveness. 07:44 In fact, friends, if I read the Scripture 07:47 correctly, unforgiveness is more deadly than porn, 07:53 adultery, homosexuality and crack cocaine 07:57 because the man who does those things can be forgiven. 08:01 But the one who refuses to forgive cannot be forgiven. 08:06 In fact, the refusal to forgive is the only human practice 08:11 that nullifies the grace of God and the life of the believer. 08:15 Because the truth is that grace abounds above lying. 08:20 It abounds in fornication, it abounds in addiction. 08:24 The only thing that nullifies grace 08:28 is when we refuse to forgive those that have harmed us. 08:31 And the reason that some will miss the mark 08:35 is because we don't see refusing to forgive as immoral. 08:40 In fact, it is the one saying that we don't confess to God. 08:44 We see unforgiveness as morally benign, as morally 08:47 neutral, as morally indifferent, not realizing 08:51 this is the one thing that can destroy your harvest. 08:56 And so even in the church we get irritated about 09:00 sessions, about forgiveness, 09:02 we get annoyed that this is a biblical requirement. 09:06 But my hope and prayer, 09:07 friends, is that we shift our perspective on forgiveness 09:12 and get to a place where we stop seeing forgiveness 09:15 as a mandate and start seeing forgiveness as medicine. 09:19 Let me say it again 09:20 that forgiveness is not just a mandate. 09:24 It is actually medicine that heals. 09:26 In fact, 09:27 studies show that forgiveness helps with depression, 09:31 anxiety, toxic anger, sleep 09:34 deprivation and post-traumatic stress disorder. 09:38 And the problem is that we see forgiving 09:41 as a sacrifice that depletes us 09:45 when in truth, it's a sacrament that releases us. 09:48 In fact, I need somebody to know 09:51 that forgiving is not kryptonite that weakens us. 09:55 It's the vibranium that makes us indestructible. 09:59 And God's word to somebody 10:00 today is that your victory is in forgiving. 10:05 Your healing is in forgiving 10:08 your deliverer is in forgiving. 10:11 Your next level is in forgiving. 10:14 In other words, closure doesn't come when somebody comes 10:17 and finally says, I'm sorry, you are healing comes 10:21 when regardless of what they do, you release the burden, 10:26 you release the pain, you release the toxic sincerely 10:30 by allowing the soul to breathe by the power of forgiveness. 10:35 And the word to somebody is, you got to stop trapping 10:37 your anger. 10:39 You got to stop nourishing your pain. 10:42 You've got to stop nurturing your hurt. 10:45 And you've got to allow Jesus to do surgery in your soul. 10:47 Today. 10:49 In fact, let me let me say it this way. 10:50 I don't know. 10:51 Some of you ever seen this ridiculous 10:53 series of movies called John Wick. 10:56 You are here today. 10:57 And for those who are converted, John Wick 10:59 is the John Wayne of this generation. 11:03 And what makes it crazy is that John Wick 11:06 can be shot 32 times and still live. 11:09 And what allows him to live 11:11 is that when he goes to his surgeon, 11:14 he doesn't just have him patch up the bullet wound. 11:17 The surgeon actually removes the shrapnel 11:20 and he removes the bullet 11:21 because he knows that he can withstand being shot. 11:25 But he can't remain if he allows the poison 11:28 or the bullet to stay inside your missile point. 11:31 In other words, 11:32 in the journey of faith, you can't avoid being shot, 11:36 but you can make sure you allow Jesus to remove all the poison 11:43 and the emotional shrapnel that people leave inside of you. 11:48 And I need you to know that 11:49 when you forgive, you're allowing the great physician 11:54 to remove all of the poison and toxicity that keeps you bam 12:00 and keeps you from becoming who God has ordained you to be. 12:03 You are with the pastor today 12:05 and so go back with you. 12:06 Go with back with me, if you don't mind. 12:08 To Matthew 18 versus 21. 12:11 We're going to walk through this thing today, 12:13 Matthew 18 and verse 21, the Bible. 12:16 Since then, Peter came and said to him, Lord, how often 12:20 shall my brother sin against me? 12:23 And I forgive him up to seven times. 12:27 And Jesus said unto Him, I say unto you, 12:29 not up to seven times, but 17 times seven. 12:35 Now, friends, I need you to get today 12:38 that this particular dialog is set against the backdrop 12:43 of Jesus teaching on offenses and so what happens is in verse 12:47 six, Jesus talks about the danger of offenses, 12:52 and in verse 15, he describes how to handle 12:55 when a brother or sister sins against you, he says, 12:59 If one sins against you, go and tell it to him alone. 13:04 But if they don't receive you take two or three witnesses 13:08 that every word may be established 13:11 and if they don't receive their group, 13:12 take the matter 13:13 before the entire church and from this dialog emerges. 13:17 Peter's question about how often we should forget. 13:21 Now, to be clear, Saint 13:23 Peter asked this question in a very cunning way. 13:28 In fact, friends, this is a self-congratulatory 13:32 inquiry designed to impress Jesus, 13:36 by the way he puts it for because Peter knows 13:39 that rabbinical law requires that you only forgive a person. 13:44 Three times. 13:45 But Peter says, Jesus, I'm here for this conversation. 13:50 When I ask, I'm going to say three times two plus one. 13:54 So he's saying, I forgive up to seven times. 13:58 And then Jesus rebuffs his hubris 14:01 when he says not up to seven times, but seven 14:05 times, 70 times, and understand friends that Jesus, 14:10 when he says this, is not trying to give him a larger 14:14 number of insists that is to be forgiven. 14:17 What he is essentially teaching says 14:19 is that people are not to be treated as indispensable. 14:23 We I start to forgive as often 14:26 as offenses are bound 14:29 but but the larger point friends stay with me 14:33 is we've got to change the way we approach forgiveness. 14:36 Number one, saints, 14:37 I need you to know that the decision to forgive 14:42 must be made before the offense occurs. 14:45 Okay, let me say it again for those in the back 14:49 that the decision to forgive 14:52 must be made even before an offense occurs. 14:56 In other words, I don't decide to forgive 15:00 after I evaluate the nature of the offense 15:02 y'all going to get to here today. 15:04 See how many of us know that forgiving is not something 15:07 I have to pray about. 15:11 Forgiving is not something I have to think over. 15:15 Say, forgiving is not something I have to vacillate on. 15:18 I need you to know that. 15:19 I've got to make the decision to forgive 15:23 well before the offense arises. 15:26 Because, friends, forgiveness 15:28 is supposed to be offered infinitely. 15:30 I've got to make it up in my mind 15:33 that forgiveness is a way of life. 15:35 Are you all? With the past of today? 15:37 Forgiveness has to be a lifestyle. 15:40 Forgiveness has to be a doctrine. 15:44 How many of us know that forgiving is a part 15:46 of the Christian's brand? 15:50 See, the problem is saints. 15:52 We want to run around 15:53 and we want to evaluate the depth of their contrition. 15:57 And we want to judge 15:58 the nature of their remorse before we decide to forgive. 16:03 But if you're going to live out the standard of Jesus, 16:07 you've got to get to a place where forgiving is 16:09 not an occasion, but forgiving is a lifestyle for the believer. 16:14 See how many of us know like that? 16:16 Some of the best folk who stay in the best shape 16:19 are not the folk 16:20 that get in shape because there is an occasion coming up. 16:24 In other words, when they go to the gym 16:25 because there's a high school reunion 16:27 or they've got a fit and some jeans are dressed, no, 16:30 the ones who are in the best shape 16:32 are the ones that work out as a lifestyle. 16:35 So they don't get up when it's cold. 16:37 They don't go when it's hot, they don't go when it's early. 16:39 In other words, they're not getting ready for an occasion. 16:43 It's just a part of the way they live 16:47 and see friends. 16:48 If you're going to be our show nuff Christian, 16:52 you got to make forgiving are part of your lifestyle, 16:54 are ya hear me today 16:57 and see the reason you've got to forgive 17:00 even before the offense comes is because if you take the time 17:03 to evaluate the offense, 17:05 if you take the time to evaluate the details 17:09 and try to judge who's worthy of it, 17:12 you will mess yourself up in two ways. 17:13 Number one, I need you to know that if forgiving is medicine, 17:19 if forgiving is removing the bullet, I can't be selective 17:26 about removing the bullet based on who shot me. 17:29 Okay. All right. 17:32 In other words, this is my thing. 17:33 I'll only remove the bullet if I was shot by a nice person. 17:37 Y'all not hear me today and 17:38 say I'll only remove the bullet if they stop me accidentally. 17:43 But how many of us know friends that it doesn't matter 17:44 if they shoot you at a 3845 or machine gun? 17:49 It still hurts just the same. 17:52 And you got to make 17:53 a decision to say, I'm going to remove the poison 17:56 no matter what 17:58 the intention was of the one who fired the weapon. 18:02 And so I need somebody to stop getting to a place 18:05 where you stop counting how many times they've offended 18:08 or the reason they offended are the motives for offending. 18:11 Because how many of us understand 18:13 forgiving is not about how much they deserve grace. 18:18 It's about how much you deserve healing. 18:21 Let me say it again. 18:22 See, forgiving is not about how much they deserve 18:25 to be forgiven. 18:26 It's about how much I deserve to be healed. 18:31 Is there anybody in the room today that realized 18:33 that you deserve to be happy, you deserve to be free. 18:40 You deserve to not have to avoid certain spaces. 18:44 You deserve to be able to sit across from them 18:46 and not get mad. 18:47 You deserve to operate in peace. 18:50 You deserve to operate in joy. 18:53 You deserve to operate in wholeness. 18:56 So I have seven folks 18:57 that are tired of walking around with bullet holes 19:01 in your spirit and realize I deserve wholeness 19:06 in the Lord Jesus Christ. 19:08 Now, now, now, stay with me. 19:10 Church The other reason 19:12 you're not supposed to evaluate somebody is worried. 19:16 The list for forgiveness is that God never set you 19:20 up to be a judge over anybody else. 19:24 Okay? 19:26 So see, God never wanted one of his children 19:30 sitting around and trying to evaluate 19:33 who's deserving of worthy of something. 19:37 Because I understand that when I place myself 19:41 as judge of somebody's motives, their contrition, 19:45 their remorse, you realize that the Bible says 19:48 that the same way I judge you, 19:52 the same way that judgment is going to be aimed at me 19:55 by God Almighty, quiet in his church today. 19:58 In other words, for his. 19:59 How many of us understand that when you are exacting 20:04 and critical and scrutinizing of others follow? 20:08 I bring that same scrutiny and detail to my own thing. 20:12 When God is dealing with me 20:16 as He prays, let me tell you why, why, why, why, why? 20:19 I'm able to forgive people who stand against me. 20:23 Because as a sinner, any sinners in this room, 20:27 as a sinner, I need God to overlook some stuff 20:31 I need God to win, get some stuff. 20:34 I need God to bypass some things. 20:37 I need God to show grace to some things. 20:40 And because I know I'm not worthy, 20:43 I'm not trying to discern if somebody else is worthy. 20:47 Because how many of us know 20:48 that none of us are deserving of the grace of God? 20:52 Is there anybody thankful today that Jesus doesn't 20:55 just bless those that are worthy or deserving? 20:59 It is why the Psalmist says that God does not deal with us 21:03 according to our iniquities or according to our sins, 21:07 but according to his multitude of his tender mercies, 21:11 has the Lord dealt with each and every one of us? 21:14 The truth is that God has blessed you 21:16 when you didn't deserve it. 21:17 God provide it when you didn't deserve it. 21:21 God protected 21:22 when you put yourself in harm's way, God favors you. 21:27 When you were not praying, God showed grace 21:30 on top of grace and mercy on top of mercy. 21:34 And because I've received much, 21:38 then it is my obligation 21:40 to give much even 21:43 to those who don't deserve it. 21:46 Are you all here in the word today? 21:50 And so the word says here in Matthew 18 21:52 and verse 25, the Bible says, but as he was 21:56 not able to pay 21:59 his master commanded that he be sold with his wife 22:02 and children and all that he had and that payment be made. 22:06 Then the servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 22:07 Master, have patience with me and I will pay you. 22:10 I'll pay it all. 22:11 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion 22:16 released him and the Bible says he forgave the debt. 22:21 Now him be lying Churchman This text is so rich 22:24 I'm going to have to come back and do a part two or three 22:26 somewhere down the line. 22:27 But when you're managing offenses, France, one of the 22:30 things you've got to do 22:32 is you got to make a difference between those who are unwilling 22:36 and those who are unable. 22:40 Let me say it again. 22:42 When you're managing offenses with people, 22:44 you have to make a distinction between those who are unwilling 22:47 and those who are unable. 22:48 In fact, Jesus illustrates 22:50 this through the King who goes forward 22:53 to settle the accounts now knows he comes across a man 22:57 who is a poor steward of that which was entrusted to him. 23:01 And as he gets ready to settle accounts, notice 23:03 that the Bible doesn't say that the man was unwilling to pay. 23:10 He had gotten in so upside down that the Bible says that 23:13 he was simply unable to pay, 23:18 so that if the man is just withholding from the king 23:20 and he is unwilling, 23:22 there is going to be 23:23 a much more harsh penalty for his behavior. 23:27 But the issue is not that the man won't pay. 23:30 The issue is that the man can't pay. 23:33 And so notice a part of the king's cancelation process 23:37 is he realizes that by selling him, 23:39 he still won't get the money back. 23:42 By punishing him, it still won't make him whole. 23:46 By torturing him, he still won't have the money reckoned sire. 23:50 By being punitive and petty and being tit for tat. 23:55 No matter how much he harms the man, it won't make him. 23:59 Well, you all missed it. 24:02 And see, this is why, friends, I want to encourage you 24:06 to make no investment in getting even getting back. 24:10 We're people going tit for tat are going 24:13 eye for an eye. 24:16 You see the problem with vengeance. 24:18 Friends, is that it brings more trouble than solution. 24:21 It provides 24:23 because how many of us understand 24:25 that if somebody creates a deficit for you, harming 24:29 them won't turn your deficit into our surplus. 24:33 See, the 24:35 problem with vengeance is that it solves nothing. 24:37 It improves nothing. 24:39 It helps nothing. 24:40 In fact, friends, by the time you finish getting vengeance, 24:44 you are actually 24:45 in a darker place than when you first started out. 24:49 In other words, if they broke your heart, 24:52 getting even with them won't make your heart whole again. 24:56 If they cheated on you, then cheating on them 25:01 isn't going to turn around 25:02 and bring reconciliation to your soul 25:05 withholding from your spouse because they withheld from you 25:09 is not going to get your needs met. 25:11 It's only going 25:12 to bring more resentment to the home lying on them 25:16 because they lied on you 25:18 is not going 25:19 to vindicate your character, but it makes the false accusation 25:23 more believable. 25:24 If you harm someone that harms your loved one, you realize that 25:29 it still doesn't help the loved one that was harmed 25:33 and see the problem with vengeance. 25:35 Friends of mine 25:36 is that it only satisfies during the act of vengeance. 25:42 But as soon as you say it, withhold it, do it. 25:45 Then your life is filled with a darkness and a guilt and a void 25:50 that actually teaches us that getting vengeance 25:53 is more depleting than actually forgiving. 25:56 Thank you for joining us for The Breath of Life 25:58 Television Ministries broadcast with Pastor Debleaire 26:02 Snell. We hope and pray that you have been blessed by this 26:06 sixth message in the sermon series ExcuseLess 26:10 Join us next week for part two of the message. 26:15 “No More Excuses For Refusing To Forgive”. 26:19 Don't want to listen. 26:21 Hello, I'm Pastor Debleaire 26:22 Snell, Speaker/ Director for The Breath of Life 26:25 Television Ministry. 26:26 This ministry was established to take the gospel of Jesus 26:30 Christ throughout North America and across the globe. 26:34 My goal is to make Jesus Christ 26:37 known through the preaching of the word. 26:41 I need you to know that we need your financial partnership 26:45 in order to make sure that the Gospel can go into every hill, 26:49 into every rural county, and into every inner city. 26:53 And we can only take the gospel as far as the gifts 26:56 that you lend to us. 26:58 We thank you for your financial partnership in the past, 27:03 and I'm asking that you continue to be a financial partner 27:07 with this ministry going forward. 27:08 Here are some ways you can give. 27:11 You can give online at our website 27:13 at www.breathoflife.tv 27:17 You can send your gift by mail to Breath of Life. 27:19 P.O. 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Revised 2024-10-07