Participants:
Series Code: BOLS
Program Code: BOLS000160S
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00:02 #S083 - “Married At First Sight” (Part 1)
00:20 How many of us want Jesus in our relationships? 00:23 How many of us want Jesus in our house? 00:25 Hey, man. Eddie. Mary, folks. 00:27 Jesus. Come on. Say, man. 00:29 It is a word for you. 00:30 Any single folk in the room, they need Jesus to be 00:32 your shepherd. Amen. 00:34 There are going to be some things 00:35 we'll be saying to you no matter your marital status. 00:37 And it be in my prayers that we will see 00:40 Jesus in a greater and clear way. 00:41 Genesis 24 and verse number one again. 00:44 When you get there, see, pastor, I'm there. 00:47 So we're going to skip throughout the chapter. 00:50 And again, just stay with me as we study 00:52 so you can have context for our conversations today. 00:56 Genesis 24 In verse one, the Bible says Now 00:59 Abraham was all well advanced in age, 01:02 and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all these. 01:06 So Abraham said to his oldest servant of his house, 01:09 who ruled over all that he had, 01:11 Please put your hand under my five, 01:15 and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of Heaven 01:18 and the God of Earth that you will not take a wife. 01:20 For my son, from the daughters of the Canaanites, 01:23 among whom I dwell. 01:25 But you shall go to my country and to my family 01:29 and take a wife for my son Isaac. 01:32 And the servant said to him, 01:33 Perhaps the woman will not be willing 01:35 to follow me to this land. 01:37 Must I take your son back to the land from which you came? 01:41 But Abraham said to him, Beware 01:44 that you do not take my son back there. 01:47 Skip down to verse ten. 01:49 Then the servant took ten of his master's camels 01:52 and departed for all his masters. 01:54 Goods were in his hand 01:56 and he arose and went to Mesopotamia, the city of Lahore, 02:01 and he made the camels kneel down outside the city 02:04 by the will of water at evening 02:06 time, the time when the women go out to draw water. 02:10 Then he said, Oh Lord, God of my master Abraham, 02:14 please give me success this day. 02:17 And so kindness to my master Abraham. 02:20 Behold, here I stand by the will of water. 02:23 And the 02:24 daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. 02:28 Now, let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 02:31 please let down your pitcher that I may drink, 02:34 and she says, Drink. 02:36 I will also give you a camels to drink. 02:39 Let her be the one 02:40 and you have appointed for your servant Isaac. 02:43 And by this 02:45 I will know that you have shown kindness to my master. 02:48 And it happened that before he finished 02:51 speaking in our God, a prayer answering God, 02:54 that behold Rebecca, who was 02:57 born to Bethel, the son of milk, the wife of nature. 03:01 The young woman was very beautiful 03:03 to behold, a virgin, and no man had known her. 03:07 And she went down to the well and filled her pitcher 03:09 and came up and the servant ran to meet her and said, Please 03:14 let me drink a little water from your pitcher. 03:17 So she said, Drink, my lord. 03:20 Then she quickly let her pitcher down to her, him 03:23 down to her hand and gave him a drink. 03:26 And when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, 03:30 I will draw water for your camels. 03:31 Also until they have finished drinking. 03:35 Then she quickly emptied her pitcher in the trunk 03:40 and ran back to the whale to draw water 03:44 and she drew for all his camels you all catch in his church. 03:47 I know it seems strange, but there is some method 03:50 and formula in what God is revealing. 03:52 And the Bible says, and the man 03:54 wondering at her remains silent so as to know 03:59 whether the Lord had made His journey prosperous or not. 04:03 And so it was when the camels had finished drinking that 04:06 the man took a golden nose ring weighing half or shekel 04:10 and two bracelets for her wrists, weighing 04:12 ten shekels of gold, and said, Whose daughter are you? 04:16 Tell me, please. 04:17 Is there room in your father's house for us to lodge? 04:21 So she said to him, I am the daughter of Bethel 04:24 Milk, her son, 04:25 whom she bore to name horse, skipping down to verse 12. 04:30 So the man goes to the house to meet her people. 04:33 Then the Bible says that the man came to the house 04:36 and he unloaded the camels 04:37 and provided straw and feed for the camels 04:40 and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men 04:43 who were with him. 04:44 Food was set before him to eat, but he said I will not eat 04:49 until I have told you all about my errand. 04:51 And he said, Speak on. 04:53 So he said, I am Abraham's servant. 04:57 The Lord has blessed my master greatly and he has become great. 05:00 And He has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, male 05:05 and female servants and camels and donkeys and Sarah. 05:09 My Master's wife, bore a son to my master 05:12 when she was old, and to him he has given all that he has. 05:18 Now, my master made me swear, saying You shall not take a wife 05:21 for the son. 05:23 For my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, 05:26 in whose land I dwell. 05:27 But you shall go to my 05:28 father's house, into my family, and take a wife for my son. 05:33 And I said to my master, Perhaps the woman will not follow me. 05:37 But he said to me, the Lord whom I with whom I walk, 05:41 will send this angel with you and prosper your way. 05:44 And you shall take a wife for my son, 05:47 from my family and from my father's house. 05:50 Giving down the verse 43. 05:51 Behold, I stand by the will of the water, 05:56 and it shall come to pass that when the Virgin comes out 05:58 to draw water. 06:00 And I say to her, 06:01 Please give me a little water from your Peach Pit 06:04 pitcher to drink. 06:05 And she says to me, Drink, I will draw for your camels. 06:09 Also. 06:10 Let her be the woman 06:13 whom the Lord has appointed for my master son. 06:17 But before I had finished speaking in my heart, 06:21 there was Rebecca coming out with her picture 06:24 on her shoulder, 06:25 and she went down to the whale and drew water, verse 50. 06:31 Then the Bible says, Then Laban and Beth will answer in saying, 06:35 The thing comes from the Lord. 06:38 We cannot speak to you either bad or good. 06:42 Here is Rebecca. 06:43 Before you take her and go and let her be 06:47 your master's son's wife, as the Lord has spoken. 06:51 And it came to pass when Abraham's servant 06:54 heard their words 06:55 that he worship the Lord, bowing himself to the Earth. 06:59 Then the servant brought out jewelry of silver, 07:02 jewelry of gold and clothing, and gave them to Rebecca. 07:06 And he also gave precious things to her brother 07:09 and to her mother. 07:10 And he and the men who were with him 07:13 ate and drank and stayed all night. 07:16 Then they rose in the morning 07:17 and said, Send me away to my master. 07:21 But her brother and her mother said, Let the young woman 07:23 stay here with us a few days, at least ten. 07:27 And after that, she may go. 07:28 And she said to them, Do not hinder. 07:31 And he said to them, Do not hinder me, 07:33 since the Lord has my way. 07:35 Send me away so that I may go to my master. 07:39 So they said, we will call the young woman 07:41 and ask her personally. 07:44 Then they called Rebecca 07:46 and said to her, Will you go with this man? 07:49 And she said, I will go. 07:52 So they went out, sit away. 07:54 Rebecca, their sister and her nurse and Abraham, 07:57 servant and his men. 07:59 And they blessed Rebecca and said to her, 08:03 Our sister, may you become the mother of thousands of Tim. 08:06 Thousands 08:07 and may your descendants possess 08:09 the gates of those who hate them. 08:11 Then Rebecca and her maids arose 08:15 and they rode on the camels and followed the main. 08:18 So the servants took Rebecca and departed. 08:21 Now, Isaac came from the way of Bear Lake 08:25 Le High ROI, for he dwelt in the south 08:29 and Isaac went out to meditate in the field in the evening 08:33 and he lifted his eyes and looked. 08:35 And there the camels were coming. 08:38 Then Rebecca lifted her eyes 08:41 and when she saw Isaac, she dismounted from her camel. 08:45 She saw her man a ways away. 08:49 For she said to the servant, 08:51 Who is this man walking in the field to meet us? 08:55 The servant says It is my master. 08:58 So she took the veil and covered herself, 09:02 and the servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. 09:05 Then Isaac brought her into his mother's Sarah's tent, 09:09 and he took Rebecca and she became his wife. 09:13 And the Bible says, and he loved her. 09:16 So Isaac was comforted after his mother's death. 09:20 I know that was a lot to read, Saints, 09:21 but for today 09:22 I just wanted to talk for a little while under the subject. 09:25 Married at first sight. 09:28 Married at first sight. 09:30 Let us pray together. 09:32 Holy Spirit. 09:35 Lord, would you make your word powerful for us in our time? 09:41 Lord, I am praying that you would give us instruction 09:44 that lead us to habits that allow us to experience 09:48 holiness and joy and the plans 09:51 that you had for family and relationship. 09:55 So, Lord, my prayer today is that you would hide me 09:56 in the shadows of the cross, that Jesus alone might be seen, 10:01 that Christ alone might be heard. 10:03 And at the end of our time 10:04 together, let Jesus alone be praised. 10:07 Bless us to this. 10:08 And we ask in the mighty name of Jesus, our Lord. 10:11 Let them that believe, say together, amen and amen. 10:16 Again, in talking to you under the subject today, married 10:20 at first sight, 10:25 you know, friends, our text details. 10:30 One of the more powerful love stories in scripture. 10:34 And yet the love is hard to detect 10:38 because it is formed in cultural norms 10:41 that are so different from ours that it seems less 10:45 than romantic. 10:46 But I need you to know 10:48 that is strange, as their practices seem to us. 10:52 Do you realize that our courtship practices 10:54 would seem equally strange to them? 10:57 You see, the idea of an arranged marriage 11:00 and the payment of a dowry seems risky to us. 11:05 But the idea of meeting somebody on a device 11:08 while scrolling left is kind of risky. 11:12 That sliding into somebody is deemed based upon a fake 11:16 and filtered profile picture is kind of risky. 11:20 In fact, I would suggest that an arranged 11:22 marriage is less risky than meeting somebody on Tinder. 11:26 Y'all might be quiet in this room today. 11:29 And I want to posit today, Church, that 11:31 there is no right way to meet someone. 11:36 But I believe that God works in the midst 11:40 of all cultural context to bring about positive results. 11:45 And so today I was we look to the word. 11:48 I want to simply highlight some principles 11:51 that I believe apply to any cultural context. 11:54 If that's all right, let me hear you say it, man. 11:56 You see, the first thing I want to say is I believe 11:59 that a good marriage ought to reveal Jesus. 12:03 Let me say it again. 12:04 I believe, church, that a godly marriage 12:07 ought to reveal all reflect Jesus. 12:11 Now, notice that Rebecca, when she says yes, 12:14 she becomes the second in a trio of women 12:18 that helped push the Messianic Covenant forward 12:22 so that Sarah Abraham's wife, that Rebecca Isaac's wife 12:27 and Rachel Jacob's wife, they become links in a chain 12:33 that helps reveal our produce the presence of Jesus 12:37 and because their marriages were arranged by God. 12:41 As a result, Jesus came out of their relationships. 12:46 And can I pause to say that marriage is first 12:48 and foremost spiritual? 12:50 It is designed by God to operate in such a way 12:55 that when love flows between a man and a woman, 12:58 people are able to see Jesus in the union 13:02 and see marriage is a powerful role. 13:05 Play of salvation. 13:06 You are with me today. 13:07 Church In fact, any fees in chapter five, the Bible says 13:12 husbands love your wives even as Christ loved the church. 13:17 And it says to wives that you are to respect 13:19 and submit to your husband. 13:22 But understand that there is a method in the madness. 13:26 Because when the world sees a man loving unconditionally 13:30 upon his flawed wife, they are able to get a glimpse 13:33 of the unconditional love of God for his people. 13:37 And a wife's rib 13:38 submission or respect is a demonstration sign of trust 13:43 for when she assigns trust to the leadership of her man. 13:48 It is actually a demonstration that we can trust 13:51 and put our faith in God and see. 13:54 The thing you need to ask today 13:57 is, is there a witness in my marriage? 14:02 Do people see Christ in the Union and see this is why 14:07 the spirituality of marriage cannot be overlooked? 14:10 Because if you don't understand the intent of marriage, 14:15 then you will reject some of the processes that produce it. 14:19 In other words, how many of us know? 14:21 Thank you, Gary Chapman, that the purpose of a 14:25 marriage is not to make you happy. 14:29 The purpose of a marriage is to make you holy. 14:32 Let me say it again 14:33 that the purpose of marriage is not to make you happy. 14:38 The purpose is to make you holy. 14:40 Because if I don't understand the purpose, 14:45 then I'll reject the process. 14:48 You see, sometimes men will be made passion 14:52 by having to wait for your wife to get dressed all day long. 14:55 That women will be made prayerful 14:58 by dealing with the ego of a man that can't admit that 15:01 he's wrong. 15:02 And both parties will be sanctified 15:06 by raising hard headed kids that make you repeat yourself 15:09 10,000 times a day. 15:11 And this is why you can't just ask how happy is the marriage? 15:17 You need to be asking how holy is the marriage? 15:20 Because the things 15:21 that make you holy don't always make you happy. 15:25 Almighty quiet today. 15:26 In other words, could it be that the only way 15:30 God could address some of the defects in your character 15:35 is by putting you 15:36 in a union where those defects can't be hidden. 15:41 They can't be overlooked. 15:43 They can't be ignored. 15:45 They can't be negotiated. 15:48 And God set it up in such a way that this union 15:51 would not just make you happy, 15:54 but you ought to be more spiritual as a result. 15:57 And if I'm telling the truth that a church, 15:59 then sometimes a good marriage ought to make you cry, 16:04 that sometimes a good marriage is going to make you fall 16:07 on your knees. 16:08 A good in the marriage 16:10 is going to put you outside of your comfort zone. 16:13 A good marriage is going to stretch 16:14 you further than you're willing to go. 16:17 And the thing I want to say 16:19 is that before you go to a judge for a divorce, 16:23 you want to go back to the manufacturer to help you fix it 16:27 so that if your spouse is the reason you pray so hard, 16:32 you ought to turn to them right now and say thank you. 16:36 I know this feels like a crazy phrase today, but if they are 16:39 the reason you had to pray, you ought to say thank you. 16:43 If they have you going 16:45 to the scriptures to get help, you ought to say thank you. 16:48 If they have the reason 16:49 you had to come to church, you ought to say thank you. 16:53 If they had you calling on God, you ought to say thank you. 16:56 And if you know you. 16:57 Cause them to pray, you ought to smile and say you're welcome. 17:00 Y'all mighty quiet in here today. 17:02 In other words, friends, I need you to know that 17:05 when God arranges a person for you, 17:09 he doesn't just choose traits that satisfy. 17:13 He's going to choose tensions that sanctify. 17:15 Oh, y'all not here today and see sometimes friends, 17:19 the level of their difficulty is just going 17:22 to reflect the level of your immaturity. 17:26 And the truth is that there difficulty won't go down 17:29 until your maturity goes up. 17:33 In fact, that's what the Bible saying as iron sharpens iron. 17:37 So one person sharpens another. 17:40 And how does iron sharpens iron with friction? 17:44 In other words, that can't grow be growth without friction. 17:49 There can't be sharpening without tension. 17:52 And the problem with Psalm is we've been praying for tissue, 17:55 but God sent sandpaper 17:58 up. In other words, I need you to know that 18:01 sandpaper is rough, but it has a purpose. 18:05 In other words, Elder Wilson, we're doing construction 18:07 on the other side. 18:09 And I saw one day the painter was preparing 18:11 one of the brass fittings for one of the doors. 18:15 And understand that this brass fitting had corrode. 18:17 And it had oxidation. 18:20 It had rust that began to grow. 18:22 And I need you to know 18:23 that he took the sandpaper and began rubbing it down. 18:27 And I asked, How long are you going 18:28 saying that piece of metal? 18:30 And he says, I have to keep sanding 18:34 until I can see my reflection in the metal and can I suggest 18:38 that sometimes God 18:39 has assigned some sandpaper to your relationship 18:43 and you want God to in the process? 18:46 But God says, I have to keep sending 18:49 until I can see my reflection in your marriage. 18:54 I have to keep sanding until I can see my character in you. 18:59 And can somebody praise God for the affliction 19:02 that caused His character to be revealed in us? 19:06 Are you? Are hear me today, church. 19:09 And so today, friends, I want to kind of share 19:12 a few things to those who are looking to be married 19:15 with someone today. 19:16 You see the first thing I need you to know about Rebecca 19:20 is that Rebecca found her person 19:23 well, serving, not searching. 19:27 Okay. Okay. 19:29 So, you see, I need somebody to notice 19:32 that there is a formula 19:35 that is embedded in the details that have been revealed. 19:39 In other words, I need you to see this in context. 19:42 Did you notice that Rebecca is not out here 19:45 with a cleavage all over Instagram? 19:49 The Rebecca is not running to every party. 19:52 She's not chasing every man. 19:55 In fact, Rebecca ain't out here acting thirsty. 19:59 Rebecca is at the well satisfying thirst. 20:04 Y'all hear what I'm saying in church? 20:05 And see, I need you to see how God works. 20:10 Because in this moment, Rebecca is not all dolled up. 20:14 She is a woman that is on a mission. 20:17 You got to be clear that Rebecca's brow is partly sweaty, 20:21 that her hair is tied up in a bond. 20:24 Her fingernails are broken from carrying heavy water pop. 20:28 But because she is serving, 20:32 she still stands out because her steps 20:35 have been ordered by God. 20:36 Are you all with me today, Church? 20:38 In other words, I need you to be clear 20:40 that Rebecca is not out here on 35 dating apps. 20:44 Rebecca is not chasing everybody down. 20:48 Rebecca is just operating in her God 20:50 given purpose and living her best life. 20:54 And because she is that girl and her love 20:58 and she is that girl in her character, 21:01 she doesn't have to do the chasing. 21:03 Guess what? The taste comes to her. 21:06 Hmm. And see what I want to 21:08 simply say to those who are waiting is. 21:10 I want you to remove some of the stress out of the process. 21:14 I want you to get to a place 21:16 where you spend a little less time searching 21:20 and a little more time serving, and your God ordained purpose. 21:24 Because how many of us know that sometimes search 21:27 energy can be off putting? 21:32 That sometimes search energy can be too desperate. 21:36 And search energy can be too aggressive. 21:39 And search energy 21:40 actually pushes you back from those that God has ordained. 21:45 And I just need to remind somebody today that your steps 21:49 have been ordered by the Almighty God. 21:52 Are you hear me today? 21:53 Church And this assurance ought to settle you. 21:57 And I'm not saying 21:58 that you should never go out or have a whole lot of fun, 22:03 but what I'm saying today is that you've got to recognize 22:06 that your steps have been customarily ordained by God. 22:10 Is there anybody that realizes that God has already or ordered 22:15 your steps in such a way that He is going to ordain 22:18 a collision between you and the right person 22:24 at the right time and in the right way? 22:27 Is there anybody that knows that you can't script the collision 22:31 because collisions happen in the strangest ways? 22:35 Sometimes the collision happens in class, 22:37 sometimes the collision 22:38 happens at the gym, hopefully the collision happens at church. 22:43 But you've got to have the spiritual sensitivity 22:47 to realize when God has ordained a collision sign. 22:51 And see, this is the hard part of faith 22:55 because see, I need you to get your value to God 22:57 and that he orders your steps. 22:58 How many of us realize that 23:00 God is very peculiar about our lives? 23:04 Right? 23:05 Do you realize that the word says 23:07 that the hairs on your head have been numbered by him? 23:11 That Psalms 56 says that God keeps a record 23:14 of every tear that falls from your face, that God says, 23:18 I'll satisfy the desire of every living creature. 23:23 And the word for somebody today is if God keeps count 23:26 of the hairs that are on your head, 23:29 if God has a rage to keep record of every peer 23:32 that calls from your face, 23:33 if God knows every need you have before you ask, 23:38 do you think that God would forget to assign somebody to 23:41 work with you toward eternity 23:46 and say, This is what I need to say to somebody today, 23:48 because somebody is dealing with frustration. 23:50 But you've turned your frustration into a negative 23:54 because some are sitting here saying, Pastor, 23:55 I got the right job and guess what? 23:57 I got the right degree 23:58 and I got the right house and I got the right income. 24:03 I got everything right but the right person. 24:06 I see you're frustrated because you said 24:07 I got the right car 24:08 and I got the right job and I got the right house. 24:12 I just can't find the right person. 24:13 And you're frustrated because you don't have the right person 24:17 when you ought to be thanking God for order. 24:20 You ought to be thanking him 24:22 that before he sent the right person, 24:25 he sent you to the right job and gave you the right house 24:28 and gave you the right income. 24:30 And then in the right order, he sends the right person 24:34 because they assumed that got the right person, 24:37 but they ain't got the right job. 24:38 They got the right income 24:39 and I would rather be single in the right house 24:43 than to have the right person sleeping in my car. 24:44 You would not hear what I'm saying today. 24:46 Church You need to thank God 24:49 that he has ordered every one of your steps. 24:52 And let me just pause while I'm here today. 24:55 Can I just say to anybody who's single, 24:56 watch your entanglements. 25:02 Because when you're entangled with the wrong person, 25:06 guess what? 25:08 You can't even notice the right person when they show up 25:11 and see. 25:12 The problem is there are some of us 25:13 that look, once we mature to a certain age 25:17 and we say, Man, why couldn't I marry someone like him or her 25:21 when the truth is that person had already been in your orbit, 25:25 but you were so entangled with the wrong person 25:29 that you put 25:30 them in the friend zone and couldn't even identify them 25:34 and see. 25:35 One of the things I love about Rebecca Church 25:36 is that she's been out here looking for nobody. 25:38 She's just out here living her life and operating in her 25:42 divine purpose. 25:43 See, the thing I like about Rebecca 25:46 is she's looking for nobody to complete her. 25:49 She ain't looking for nobody to save her. 25:52 She ain't looking for nobody to provide for her. 25:55 She ain't looking for nobody to make her complete. Why? 25:57 Because she is a daughter of God. 26:00 So that she has already 26:01 made complete because she has an active relationship with him. 26:07 In fact, let me let me say it as I share with you last year, 26:10 y'all remember old school 26:12 that when you went to a very cheap house party? 26:15 Malcolm The invitation was, say something like this BYOB. 26:20 Oh, y'all saved in this room today. 26:22 And the BYOB, it meant bring your own bag 26:26 or bring your own bottle. 26:28 In other words, 26:29 we ain't got enough to feed you, so you better bring your way. 26:33 And what I'm saying to anybody today is that 26:35 instead of waiting on somebody to make you happy, 26:39 instead of waiting on somebody to make you joyful, 26:42 I need you to be y all h and bring your own happiness. 26:47 I need you to be wild j and bring your own joy. 26:52 I need you to be y0p and bring your own peace and by0c 26:59 and bring your own contentment and by0h bring your own hope 27:05 and I need somebody to be y0m bring your own money. 27:07 Can I get a witness in this room today? 27:10 You don't need nobody to make you. 27:14 You need to bring it to the party. 27:15 All y'all hear me today 27:17 and see there are some married folks 27:19 that's in their feelings 27:20 because you've been waiting for your woman, a man, 27:22 to make you happy. 27:23 You're putting too much pressure on a person. 27:27 How many of us know there is no person 27:31 that can make you happy? 27:33 There is no person that can make you joyful. 27:37 There is one source of joy. 27:40 And his name is Jesus. 27:44 Are y'all hearing the Word today Church? 27:46 Thank you for joining us for The Breath of Life 27:48 Television Ministries broadcast with Pastor Debleaire Snell. 27:53 We hope and pray 27:54 that you have been blessed by this powerful message. 27:57 Join us next week for part two of Married at First Sight. 28:02 You don't want to miss it. |
Revised 2025-02-20