Participants:
Series Code: CW
Program Code: CW000028S
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00:00 (mellow music)
00:04 - Welcome, everyone. 00:05 We're excited to share some Country Wisdom with you. 00:07 - King Solomon had a thing or two to say 00:09 about the path to wisdom. 00:11 In Proverbs 4, he wrote, 00:13 let your eyes look directly forward 00:16 and your gaze be straight before you. 00:19 Keep straight the path of your feet, 00:21 and all your ways will be sure. 00:23 - Join us now for Country Wisdom. 00:26 (mellow music) 00:46 We are in a world of sin. 00:47 We are in a world of sorrow. 00:49 This wasn't God's plan. 00:50 This is not the way it was supposed to turn out 00:53 or the way it was supposed to happen. 00:56 A third of God's family left heaven. 00:59 The God of the universe lost his own children, 01:02 but he's got a plan. 01:03 It is not always going to be this way. 01:05 Matter of fact, I believe it's going to wrap up soon. 01:08 Let me read you a verse. 01:09 Couple of verses actually in Revelation 21. 01:11 And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: 01:13 for the first were passed away. 01:15 And verse four, and God shall wipe away all tears 01:18 from their eyes. 01:19 There shall be no more death, neither sorrow, no crying, 01:22 neither shall there be any more pain: 01:24 for the former things are passed away. 01:27 That's what God has in store, 01:29 but in the meantime, we are still down here on this earth, 01:32 and we have a story today that hopefully can help you 01:35 or a family member. 01:37 - Dori, you have a story that 01:40 I'm so thankful that you're willing to share 01:43 because people need to hear it, 01:44 but it's not a story you ever wanted to tell, 01:48 a story that you ever wanted to be put in a position 01:50 of having to tell. 01:52 - No, it wasn't. 01:56 Alright, so I'll just say this. 02:01 I lost my son December 12th of '20. 02:05 So how many? Nine months ago. 02:08 And, but I didn't lose him the day he died. 02:12 I lost him, I was in the process of losing him 02:16 years before that, because. 02:20 - When did that start? 02:23 - When did it start? 02:24 It actually started, it actually probably started 02:27 when his father kind of abandoned his children. 02:33 And he was eight years old. 02:35 And according to all that I've studied, 02:37 eight is a worst time for a boy 02:39 to be abandoned by his father. 02:41 And it just shows you also that broken homes, 02:44 what broken homes do to children. 02:47 So his dad was a pharmacist. I'll just say this. 02:51 And he ended up getting into drugs, 02:55 and he's already passed away. 02:59 He passed away when he was 51, about seven years ago. 03:02 But he ended up, so it broke up our family. 03:09 And then I ended up taking care of the kids myself, 03:12 actually when Christopher was eight, 03:15 and I have two daughters. 03:16 They were four and a one-week-old. 03:21 And I raised them by myself in essence 03:26 with the help of God, and friends, 03:27 and family, and stuff, but. 03:29 - So you have a faith in God. 03:31 - Absolutely have faith in God. 03:32 I've always had a desire to know God. 03:37 I've always had a love for him and a desire to know him 03:41 since I can remember actually. 03:48 But I will say this. 03:49 When all that happened, 03:51 I have to share the story 'cause it's really cool. 03:54 It was, and you can take it out if you need to. 03:56 But when my third baby was born 04:00 it was when I was having a lot of hard times 04:02 with my marriage and everything. 04:06 And he had gone already, 04:08 and it was about a month after she was born. 04:10 It was just me and the kids, 04:11 and I went out on my porch. 04:14 And I had two books. 04:16 I had like a chapter book and I had the Bible, 04:18 and I told God, I read the chapter book. 04:20 I think it was a Mark Finley book actually. 04:22 It was a chapter. 04:23 And as soon as that finished, 04:25 I was gonna open up the Bible and read it, 04:28 but my baby started crying. 04:30 She was only like a month old. 04:31 And I told God, I was like, 04:32 I talked to him in my mind a lot. 04:34 I was like, oh Lord, I was gonna read your word. 04:37 I probably should have read it first, 04:39 but Brianna's crying and I need to tend to her. 04:42 She probably needs to be fed. 04:44 And so I was walking. 04:46 I turned to walk to my sliding glass door, 04:49 and I said, you know what? I am gonna read your word, 04:51 but I'm just gonna hold it out. 04:52 I'm gonna point, 04:54 and whatever my finger lands on, that's what I'm gonna read. 04:57 And it was the book of Malachi. 05:01 And I had never read Malachi. 05:02 And I was like- 05:03 - [Janice] It's not one of the biggies. 05:03 - I was like, I literally said, 05:05 what good can come out of Malachi? 05:07 (Dori laughs) 05:08 And it was Malakai 3:10. 05:09 It was in the Good News Bible. 05:11 And it said, put me to the test and you will see, 05:12 I will open the windows of heaven 05:14 and pour out upon you in abundance all kinds of good things. 05:17 And I just looked up to him and I said, 05:18 you're such a good God. 05:22 So even though I was, it was hard, 05:25 I knew that God was in charge. 05:28 But I thought life would get easier, 05:30 but that was like the, 05:31 that was one of my very first big, big sorrows 05:39 was the breakup of our marriage and stuff, and- 05:42 - But you didn't quit believing in God because of it. 05:44 - I did not quit believing in God. 05:46 I pursued him more. 05:48 And, but then I will tell you, 05:52 my life and my family's have been full of trials, 05:57 full of trials, like one after another, 06:00 after another, after another, after another. 06:03 And they were big, big trials. 06:05 And I was just like, this doesn't feel, 06:09 this doesn't feel good, Lord. 06:12 And I thought that James, when he said, 06:14 count up joy when you face trials of many kinds, 06:16 I was like, he is insane. 06:20 But I realize now that the trials either do two things. 06:26 You either can decide to choose God, 06:29 or you can be bitter. 06:31 And I chose to choose God and to go his route. 06:35 And- 06:36 - When you choose the other, when you choose to be bitter, 06:38 it's not like those trials go away. 06:40 It's just that now you're all, you're bitter and alone. 06:44 - Yeah. 06:45 - Instead of having God, holding his hand through it. 06:48 - Yeah. It was hard. 06:51 I mean, it was like, I mean, 06:52 I thought that was like the worst thing that could happen 06:54 was the breakup of our family, 06:57 but it got harder. 06:59 And so then Christopher, 07:02 because he didn't have a father, 07:06 his father wasn't really in his life then. 07:09 And he had learning disabilities. 07:10 Even though he was brilliant, 07:12 he had learning disability. 07:14 He was diagnosed with bipolar, 07:17 or manic depression, and other things. 07:20 And I'm like, how can you diagnose a teenager with that 07:23 because they're teenagers? 07:24 But yet he was diagnosed with that. 07:28 And I think it's just really hard in this day and age 07:32 that we live, all the media, 07:34 everything that bombards our children, 07:36 it's really hard on them. 07:38 I can't imagine what it's like to be a kid right now. 07:41 - It definitely is worse than it was 10 years ago even. 07:45 - Oh, absolutely. 07:46 And I really think that we need to be praying for them, 07:49 like with such intensity. 07:52 But Christopher ended up being hurt by things. 07:58 I'll just say it that way. He ended up being hurt by things, 08:00 and then he reacted to it by trying to 08:05 do whatever he could to avoid the pain. 08:08 So he started doing pills, anything like Coricidin, pills. 08:14 And then he did things that he didn't want, 08:19 he felt bad about doing. 08:21 And so he was cutting on himself some. 08:22 I remember like calling the ambulance several times 08:25 'cause he was just cutting on himself. 08:34 - It's no secret that the world is in a major mess. 08:38 We are in a major mess. 08:40 Even if you have escaped many of life's difficulties, 08:43 most homes still struggle with daily living. 08:47 So the question arises, 08:50 is there hope for the future, for your future? 08:54 I wanna tell you, there absolutely is hope. 08:57 And that's why I'm asking you to order this free pamphlet. 09:01 Is There Hope for the Future? 09:04 You will be happy you did. 09:06 It will change your life. 09:08 Go to TalkingDonkeyInternational.org today 09:13 and order offer 105. 09:16 Is There Hope for the Future? 09:20 - Scientists tell us that humans have four basic needs 09:23 for survival, food, water, air, and shelter. 09:29 But beyond mere survival, 09:30 we also need to know that someone cares about us. 09:34 And there is someone who cares, someone who is always there. 09:39 This little track, Someone Cares About You, 09:42 is full of Bible verses that will help you know 09:45 just how much God cares for you. 09:48 It's absolutely free. 09:50 Just go to TalkingDonkeyInternational.org 09:53 and request offer number 123. 09:56 Someone cares about you. 10:00 (mellow music) 10:03 - So when he was like 13 years old, 10:08 I even put him in actually Advent Home 10:10 because he was just trying to numb his pain 10:13 however he could. 10:15 And so I, like I said, I just, 10:21 tried to tackle whatever was going on at that time. 10:24 He required a lot of attention, a lot of energy. 10:28 And I focused on him a lot, 10:30 even probably to the demise of my two other children, 10:36 but they've been, they're great. 10:38 And so he ended up, long story short, 10:42 he ended up becoming addicted to opiates, 10:47 and he ended up doing IV stuff, 10:50 and he did things that he would never have done 10:53 in his right mind, or, 10:55 'cause he was a very tender hearted, kind hearted boy. 10:59 He had so many wonderful qualities, 11:02 but addiction, I honestly think it's demon possession. 11:08 I really do because it changes the person 11:12 to who they would not even wanna be. 11:15 And anyways, so I lost him over years, 11:21 and I tried to, I prayed to God like, 11:24 and I said, please don't let him, 11:26 please don't let him become homeless, and hungry, and cold, 11:29 please don't let him go to jail, and be beaten, and raped. 11:34 And then I saw a story on YouTube 11:37 of a girl that went through something horrific. 11:42 I mean her life went from, 11:44 I'll just say, it went from horrible to finding God. 11:48 And God was telling me at that time, 11:50 I was in the bathtub seeking him, 11:52 but I listening, and he was telling me at that time, 11:57 you don't know what Christopher needs to be in my kingdom. 12:01 I do. 12:02 So I let go of him at that moment. 12:05 I said, then do whatever it takes to save him 12:08 for your kingdom. 12:09 This is a blink. 12:10 Life here is a blink. 12:13 Do whatever it takes to save him for your kingdom. 12:16 And that is my prayer. 12:18 Now for my girls, do whatever it takes 12:20 to save them for your kingdom 12:22 because they don't have an addiction, 12:25 but I think all our children, 12:27 we need to like fully submit them to God, 12:30 commit them to God, submit them to God, 12:33 and let him do his work, 12:35 because life here is nothing 12:38 compared to what God wants for us. 12:41 And we can even have a little bit of heaven here on earth, 12:43 just knowing God and his love. 12:46 - You literally loved him enough to let go 12:49 and stop being the mom you thought you ought to be. 12:52 That's right. 12:54 And I didn't even care what people thought. 12:55 The people like, what they think of him or me. 12:59 I know that I prayed for him, 13:02 and I probably had hundreds of people praying for him. 13:05 I interceded for him. 13:07 They interceded for him. 13:09 And I told God, do not, 13:11 please do not take him before he's yours 13:14 or before you've given him every opportunity to be yours. 13:17 And I know beyond a shadow of doubt that God did that. 13:20 God did not take my son before that. 13:23 And I know that God is just and fair, 13:27 and he's the only one that can judge period. 13:31 Nobody can judge anybody 13:32 because we don't know their genetics, 13:35 we don't know their experiences, 13:37 we don't know what happened to them, we don't know. 13:40 We might think we do, but we don't. 13:42 Only God does. 13:44 And he knows the hearts. 13:45 - Through this progression of time, 13:47 what was your relationship like with your son, 13:50 or was there any? 13:51 - Oh, my relationship, he was my first born. 13:54 He was born one day shy of being 14 weeks early. 13:57 He weighed less than two and a half pounds. 13:59 I adored him. 14:01 I loved him to pieces. 14:03 I didn't drink one drop of caffeine. 14:05 I was so careful. 14:08 And he was so funny. 14:11 We, he talked to me more than my two girls together. 14:14 He told me things I didn't even wanna hear. 14:17 But as the addiction increased, 14:21 the relationship became less close, 14:27 because he ended up stealing, and taking my checkbook, 14:30 and just stuff that he wouldn't do. 14:33 And, but, and we would argue because he's strong-willed, 14:36 and I guess I'm pretty strong-willed too maybe. 14:38 - Maybe. (Jim laughs) 14:40 - And so we would argue and yell at each other even, 14:45 but then we would like always apologize. 14:48 I always just remember always apologizing. 14:51 And he was like so good about apologizing too. 14:55 So he was a terrific kid other than that addiction part. 15:01 He was an awesome kid. 15:06 I miss him. 15:08 I miss him. 15:10 - It's still pretty raw. 15:11 - Yeah. 15:12 And it's actually, 15:15 I find that it's actually harder right now. 15:17 I think because God, in his love and kindness knew 15:22 that for me to deal with his death, 15:28 I just, all I could see was like 15:29 so much of the things that he did so hurtful. 15:34 I know that Christopher is no longer suffering. 15:35 He's no longer in pain, 15:36 and he's no longer able to hurt anybody else. 15:41 And I think addiction, especially drug addiction, 15:46 makes people do things that they would not normally do 15:48 because it costs money. 15:50 It costs a lot of money. 15:52 And so he's no longer suffering, 15:55 and he's not hurting anyone else. 15:57 And that gives me comfort too. 16:00 - If you don't mind, 16:02 could you kinda lead us on to where and when, what happened? 16:07 - In this- 16:08 - A year ago, where were the two of you? 16:09 - So he was in and out of jail, 16:12 and I thought the first time he went in jail 16:15 that would scare him, and he would never wanna go, 16:17 but he was so gregarious. 16:20 He made friends wherever he went. 16:22 And he was quite smart too. 16:23 So he knew, and you can get drugs in jail, 16:27 I mean, just as easily or maybe even easier than, 16:30 I mean, where he was at. 16:32 I mean, it was so easy to get. 16:35 - How did you know all of that? 16:36 Did he share that with you? - He told me. 16:38 - He told you, okay. 16:39 - He told me. 16:40 - So he's breaking your heart more at the same time 16:41 as he's sharing with mom. 16:43 - Well, he's telling me, 16:44 which I love that he could tell me things. 16:47 I love that part because he felt close enough 16:49 to be able to tell me. 16:51 And I love that. I miss that tremendously. 16:55 But of course I was like, it hurt me that he was 17:00 doing things that harmed him and harmed others. 17:04 But so he ended up being in and out of jail. 17:09 And then he ended up coming home, 17:16 and I actually moved away for a short time. 17:18 So I was living where he was living, 17:20 which was his grandma's house. 17:22 And I was able to spend the last week and half with him. 17:27 And I feel honored to do that, 17:30 and I even left a job, 17:31 and I'm pretty sure I was there for only one month, 17:33 and I'm pretty sure that the reason why, 17:36 'cause I was like, why? 17:37 'Cause I felt like God called me 17:38 to this place in North Carolina. 17:40 And I'm like, why? Why am I back here? 17:42 I think it was just for this one week with Chris, 17:45 and this was one of the reasons. 17:47 And so I was able to pray. 17:50 I prayed with them during that week and half twice. 17:53 And I asked him, I said, Christopher. 17:56 I said, I don't even know, 17:57 because his girlfriend had a ouija board 18:00 and stuff like that. 18:01 And I said, I don't even know if you believe in God. 18:04 And he looked straight at me and he said, 18:07 of course I do, Mom. 18:08 You're you're my mother. You raised me. 18:11 And so that gave me some hope. 18:13 And then there was a time, I think it was a Tuesday. 18:17 They found him on a Saturday, on a Sabbath. 18:21 But the Tuesday before, 18:24 I remember going, his room was open. 18:27 The TV was blaring, 18:28 and I went into his room. 18:30 I turned off the TV, 18:32 and I just felt impressed to like pray over Christopher. 18:37 I just got on my knees, and I rebuked Satan, 18:40 and told him he had no rights to my kids. 18:43 He was dedicated to God as a child. 18:47 He was baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. 18:50 And then I asked God to make himself known to him. 18:54 And I know he did. 18:56 And then what happened was we found out that, 19:04 I got a call. 19:05 I was at my daughter's house spending the night there, 19:09 and we got a call from their grandmother 19:13 where I was staying at. 19:15 And she said the police were there. 19:18 And I knew that wasn't good news. 19:20 And so I rushed over there, 19:26 and I remember it's only like five minutes away or so, 19:30 but I remember driving like a maniac, 19:33 and I was like, Lord, I know that this is not good news. 19:36 And I think that she had told me that he was dead. 19:39 She's like, Chris is dead. 19:41 And I'm like, I know he's dead, 19:43 but I'm gonna intercede for him one more time. 19:46 Be with my child and do whatever. 19:49 I'm just gonna intercede. 19:50 I don't even know if that's possible, 19:53 but just save my son. 19:56 And so then when we got there, 19:58 there were two policemen there, 20:01 and they told us that he had gone to a narcotic party 20:10 in a hotel and paranoia ensued, 20:15 and somebody shot him in the head. 20:18 And God has given me forgiveness. 20:30 I'm not, I don't hate the guy that killed him, 20:36 which is amazing. 20:38 And I had a little problem with his girlfriend 20:44 'cause she introduced him to it, 20:45 but I try to pray for her now. 20:49 And God just has given me peace 20:55 that he's a good God, even though I have sorrow. 20:57 And I know that it's God's kingdom, right? 20:59 He gets to choose who live there anyways. 21:01 (Dori laughs) 21:02 So I'm like, you have full whatever. 21:07 And so I just want people to know that you can have peace 21:12 even though you have sadness, 21:13 and that I know what it's like to be a mother 21:17 of the child that has addiction, 21:19 and that it's a very, very, very hard place to be, 21:24 extremely. 21:26 - You're not alone, as we all know. 21:28 - No. 21:30 - It is so common nowadays, so much more common. 21:33 It's incredible that in a situation like this, 21:36 having such issues with your son, watching him, 21:40 as you said, you began to lose him when he was 13, 21:44 and to lose him in little bits all along, 21:47 and then completely lose him, 21:49 and sit here not even a year later and say, 21:54 even in spite of all the sorrow, you have peace. 21:58 - I do. 21:59 - That's difficult to understand. 22:00 - It's only from God. 22:02 It's truly only from God, 22:03 in the fact that I'm not bitter 22:05 to the person that killed him. 22:07 That is only from God. 22:08 I don't know how, I mean, I don't see how. 22:13 It has to be from God. 22:15 - Have you seen that person since? 22:18 - I mean, I've seen pictures of him, 22:21 but he's in jail, but no. 22:24 - And how old is your son? 22:26 - He was 29. 22:27 - 29. 22:28 So from 13 to 29, a lot of years of struggle, 22:33 and a lot of years of heartache. 22:36 When you first came, 22:37 and you and I were talking before we sat down, 22:40 you said you just wanted people to know, 22:43 and you listed a whole bunch of things. 22:46 You've got a heart that wants to help others. 22:47 Do you mind just sharing some of those things with us? 22:50 - Yeah, I want people to know that there is a God in heaven 22:54 that loves them dearly, knows everything about them, 22:58 and just like a parent, like I loved. 23:00 Christopher taught me that, 23:02 that the things that he did, 23:06 there wasn't something he did that I thought, 23:08 I don't know if I can, like, 23:10 I don't know if I can love him. 23:12 And I loved him no matter what. 23:15 I loved him with such intensity. 23:17 And I know that God loves us more, 23:21 and he loves every person that's listening today. 23:23 He is like, he loves them so much. 23:26 He loves, I wanna say he loves you so much. 23:30 And he wants to know you, 23:32 and he doesn't wanna live without you. 23:36 And if we just would, if we would just seek him, 23:40 and all you have to do is repent 23:42 and say, I'm sorry for my sins. 23:45 I don't, I choose you. 23:46 That's what I tell him everyday. 23:47 I'm like, I'm not perfect. 23:50 I have my flaws, 23:51 but I'm like, I choose you. 23:52 I want you in my life. 23:55 I want your spirit. 23:56 But I'm a leopard. I can't change myself. 23:59 You're gonna have to change me 24:01 because I desire things that are not good, 24:04 but I don't want to. 24:05 I want to do your will. 24:06 I want to be bold for you. 24:08 I want to, I want to, 24:11 I want everyone to know that you love them. 24:15 And I, that's what I want. 24:17 I want everyone to know that they are deeply, deeply loved 24:19 by a God who is bigger than anything, 24:23 and that he is coming soon. 24:25 He is coming really, really soon. 24:29 I believe with all my heart that we will see him come. 24:34 - Counsel for moms and dads, anything special for them? 24:38 I mean, some are probably going through 24:40 what you are right now. 24:42 Others, maybe are getting close. 24:43 What would you say? 24:45 - I would say, get on your knees and pray, 24:48 'cause this battle is not against flesh and blood, 24:51 but against principalities and things of darkness. 24:54 This is a spiritual battle. 24:57 You're more powerful on your knees than anything else. 24:59 But I would also say, catch it early on. 25:03 When you catch it early on, 25:09 I don't know. 25:10 'Cause I think do the tough love thing early on, 25:12 but I'm not positive. 25:13 I don't know. It's so hard to know because I- 25:17 - Even as I started out, even God the Father 25:20 couldn't totally stop some of the children 25:23 from leaving the glories of heaven and his side. 25:25 - And that's when I realized that I was kind of playing God 25:29 with Christopher, 25:30 because I was like thinking that 25:34 I could persuade him to come back. 25:35 And I was like, God is perfect, 25:37 and then Satan chose to leave. 25:40 So, but I would say the most powerful thing, 25:46 the most, is get on your knees and pray. 25:48 I believe that it allows God, 25:51 because God's such a gentleman, I think of Satan as mafia. 25:54 And he's gonna kick you when you're down, 25:56 and hit you, and kick you, and punch you, and everything. 25:59 And I think of God as a perfect gentleman. 26:00 He's just at the door knocking. 26:02 Just let me in. 26:04 And so you come to him and like, I'm letting you in. 26:06 Now he tells his angels, go sick 'em. 26:08 That's exactly how I see it. 26:10 It gives God permission to do in the spiritual realm, 26:14 what needs to be done. 26:18 - Dori, we just can't thank you enough for coming today 26:20 and the courage to share. 26:21 - Being willing to tell a story like that, 26:23 because there are other hurting parents out there 26:27 who maybe haven't lost their child yet, 26:30 but feel like, in many ways, they have. 26:33 And to throw out that little lifeline of hope 26:36 and remind them that God loves their child 26:40 more than they do. 26:41 - Absolutely. 26:41 - So thank you for coming today. 26:43 Appreciate it a lot. 26:44 - Thank you for having me and letting me share. 26:46 I appreciate it. 26:49 (mellow music) 27:02 - Scientists tell us that humans have four basic needs 27:06 for survival, food, water, air, and shelter. 27:11 But beyond mere survival, 27:13 we also need to know that someone cares about us. 27:16 And there is someone who cares, someone who is always there. 27:21 This little track, Someone Cares About You, 27:24 is full of Bible verses that will help you know 27:27 just how much God cares for you. 27:30 It's absolutely free. 27:32 Just go to TalkingDonkeyInternational.org 27:36 and request offer number 123. 27:39 Someone Cares About You. 27:48 - Thank you for watching. 27:49 Join us again for another exciting Country Wisdom. 27:51 - See you next time. 27:52 (mellow music) |
Revised 2023-02-23