For Guys Only

Three Angels Broadcasting Network

Program transcript



Series Code: FGOY

Program Code: FGOY000004S

00:01 Welcome to For Guys Only,
00:02 a program that deals with topics
00:04 specifically geared for the urban man.
00:08 I'm Pastor William Lee,
00:09 I'm so excited that you have joined us on today.
00:12 Listen, today we're gonna talk about men are from Mars,
00:16 men are from Mars.
00:18 We know the opposite side of that.
00:19 I encouraging you to stay tuned as we go into our broadcast.
00:38 Welcome, gentlemen, once again.
00:40 It is so good to have you all
00:42 back for another fantastic episode.
00:45 As always we're gonna begin our episode today,
00:48 our program today with just a word of prayer.
00:50 So, Muta, may I ask you to pray for us?
00:51 Sure. Let's bow our heads.
00:53 Our Father, God,
00:55 we just thank You for bringing us
00:56 and giving us this opportunity
00:58 to just sit as men
00:59 and discuss some of the things that affect us,
01:02 Lord, let Your Holy Spirit may be with us
01:04 and guide this conversation to Your honor and glory
01:08 in Christ name we pray, amen.
01:09 Amen. Good.
01:11 Kind of want to just introduce ourselves
01:13 in case this is one of the first times
01:15 that our viewers is watching the program.
01:18 So let's just give a short synopsis of ourselves.
01:21 Let's start with you, Brandon.
01:23 Yes, I'm Brandon Dent. I am a retired auto executive.
01:27 And I am...
01:30 I've been married some 27 years now.
01:34 I probably should give that specific
01:36 for my wife who is watching.
01:39 So I think that might qualify me
01:40 to participate in this particular episode.
01:43 All right, good. Sure.
01:45 I'm Colin King, I'm a clinical psychologist.
01:48 I have two children
01:49 and I've been married for the last,
01:52 I believe, 21 years.
01:55 I've been in practice.
01:56 I've been an adjunct professor at Wayne State,
01:59 EMU and another local university,
02:02 and I'm happy to be here.
02:03 Okay, good.
02:05 My name is Muta Mwenya
02:06 and I am executive director for Elijah3 Ministries.
02:09 I have been married for seven years,
02:12 I've got two children.
02:13 And I'm originally from Lusaka, Zambia in Africa.
02:17 And I'm very happy to be here.
02:19 Okay, good.
02:20 And, of course, I'm Pastor William Lee,
02:21 pastor in the Lake Region Conference
02:23 of Seventh-day Adventists
02:25 and just excited about what God is doing.
02:27 I'm married for seven years as well with two children.
02:31 All right, come on, let's kind of get into our conversation,
02:33 say, men are from Mars.
02:36 We're just gonna break that down a little bit.
02:38 And I always like to go to you, Dr. King, being again,
02:42 the clinical psychologist to kind of help us understand,
02:45 you know, men communicate differently from women.
02:47 Of course, the Bible even tells us
02:51 in Genesis Chapter 1,
02:53 which I'll read in verse number 27.
02:56 It's absolutely clear that God made us different.
02:59 So the Word of God says,
03:00 "So God created man in his own image,
03:03 in the image of God created he him,
03:06 male and female created he them."
03:10 So God...
03:12 Of course, we know that God created a male,
03:13 God created a female,
03:15 but let's kind of break it down
03:16 and talk about the differences between men and women.
03:19 Yes, there are some fundamental differences
03:23 that we have observed.
03:25 Why does a woman go to the mall and spend 10 hours shopping,
03:30 comes back home with nothing?
03:35 And a guy will go to the mall,
03:37 he spends 10 minutes
03:40 and he comes back home with a whole bag
03:43 filled with electrical drills and measuring tapes,
03:47 and so on and so forth.
03:49 Why would a woman want to have a full-scale conversation
03:53 at 2 o'clock in the morning?
03:55 It makes no sense to me at all.
03:57 So there's some fundamental differences
04:00 just based on our anecdotal observations,
04:05 but at the very core we're different.
04:08 We're very, very different.
04:09 I've got a couple of models here
04:11 that I just wanted to assure you
04:13 in terms of how we are just designed differently.
04:19 This is a model of the human brain.
04:23 You know, it's...
04:26 The brain is a very small,
04:29 tight organ that is housed in a very tight box,
04:34 not a whole lot of room to move around.
04:36 And as you can see,
04:37 it's sort of designed in two hemispheres.
04:40 You can see this line coming right down the middle,
04:43 so this is the left hemisphere
04:45 and this is the right hemisphere.
04:47 And in here,
04:49 there's roughly about 100 million neurons
04:55 and over a trillion connections.
04:59 Here's one fundamental difference,
05:01 men have more neurons than women.
05:05 The neurons are tightly packed together.
05:08 Women have fewer neurons, but they have more connections.
05:14 Fundamental difference, men tend to be more left brain,
05:18 women tend to be more dual brain,
05:20 so they have sort of like a dual core processor.
05:24 Okay, okay.
05:25 And, you know, we have...
05:27 I mean, we use both sides of our brain,
05:29 but we are more left-sided processor.
05:34 And that's why
05:35 a woman can quickly access information
05:39 from her brain
05:40 because she's using that dual core processing thing.
05:45 And that's why
05:46 I had a very interesting experience.
05:48 Just last week,
05:50 I had to meet with a female to plan for an upcoming event.
05:56 And she was sitting
05:58 with nearly about 15 other people.
06:00 And everyone was talking at the same time.
06:02 And she said to me,
06:04 "Can you come over here
06:05 because we need to discuss the upcoming meeting?"
06:07 And I said, "No, I can't do it."
06:08 I said,
06:09 "There was no way
06:11 I can sit in that stimulating environment
06:13 and have a discussion with you."
06:15 Then she said,
06:16 "What's your problem? I'm perfectly fine with it."
06:18 So just at the very fundamental level
06:21 they can access information faster than we can.
06:26 Additionally,
06:28 here's another fundamental difference.
06:31 You know, this is sort of a model of the brain.
06:34 You know, this is the frontal lobe,
06:36 we've got a temporal lobe,
06:38 you know, the brain is divided into five different lobes.
06:43 Women have a larger limbic system.
06:47 And our limbic system
06:49 is what houses our emotional well-being.
06:52 It's the part of us
06:54 that makes us cry or laugh or enjoy a good movie.
07:00 The limbic system
07:03 or it's contained in the corpus callosum,
07:06 but it is larger in a woman than in a man.
07:10 And that's why a woman is better able
07:14 to access emotional content faster than a guy.
07:19 So just by nature,
07:21 women are more emotional
07:23 because they have a larger limbic system,
07:26 a larger bonding system.
07:28 And that's why a mother can bond quickly
07:32 with a newborn baby,
07:34 not just because she just gave birth to that child,
07:37 but because she has a larger limbic system.
07:40 And that's why a woman can cry
07:43 at the opening of a grocery store.
07:44 And you're like,
07:46 "What's your problem?"
07:47 Like, why would you do that?
07:50 It is because they have a larger limbic system.
07:53 And I can come back
07:54 to some of these fundamental differences,
07:56 but just to kind of set up this discussion.
07:58 Okay, okay.
07:59 Wow, that's very interesting.
08:03 Even to the point that, you know,
08:05 sitting here and listening to your discussion,
08:06 I feel that, you know, I'm step behind.
08:09 My processor is not as fluid as even my wife, so to speak.
08:14 You know, there are some basic fundamental differences
08:16 that I can see from the beginning
08:17 or from just basic that men seem to communicate
08:20 different from women.
08:21 I mean, it is this basic thing.
08:23 You know, when wife says something,
08:25 you know, I hear but,
08:26 you know...
08:28 We're different. We're different.
08:30 Talk about communication,
08:32 you know, how we communicate differently,
08:34 you know, men and women?
08:36 Well, to begin with women speak more often than men.
08:40 You know, it is estimated that
08:43 a woman speaks approximately 20,000 words a day,
08:47 a guy speaks about 7,000 words a day.
08:49 So they outnumber us three to one.
08:52 And that's why when you come home from work
08:55 and you're tired,
08:56 you don't want to have conversation,
08:58 because you've already spoken your 7,000 words,
09:01 and that's why your wife or your girlfriend
09:03 wants to continue talking into the night.
09:06 Exhaust 10,000 words...
09:07 Exactly.
09:10 Also, men speak for report.
09:14 How was your day,
09:16 this is what happened, the car broke down,
09:18 what's happened at the office, da-da-da...
09:20 And then you will finish.
09:21 Woman speaks for rapport.
09:24 Once again that whole bonding system.
09:28 So when they're talking to you it's not necessarily because
09:31 you're looking for a report,
09:33 you're looking to build rapport.
09:36 And so that's why
09:37 when they tell you certain things,
09:39 you don't quite understand what it is that you're telling,
09:43 but they expect you to understand
09:44 what they're telling you.
09:46 I don't want anything for my birthday
09:48 which is coming up in a month,
09:49 you know, I don't want anything.
09:51 What you're saying is that you better be prepared.
09:54 Do something because I'm telling you.
09:57 So those are some fundamental differences also.
09:58 But, you know,
10:00 I want to bring in the other guys
10:01 in this certainly.
10:03 Yeah, okay. No, it's funny.
10:04 As you were talking I started laughing,
10:05 because when my wife is telling me a story,
10:09 she always goes into detail
10:11 and starts telling me names of people I had no clue.
10:14 You work with them, I don't.
10:17 So Suzy did this.
10:18 Who is Suzy?
10:20 Where did she come from?
10:22 And it's something that
10:24 adds a little frustration sometimes
10:26 because I'm on the go, I want her to get to the point,
10:29 and she's busy telling me the background story.
10:32 Just tell me,
10:33 honey, just tell me exactly what you're trying to say.
10:36 And I find that, so you're right.
10:40 I'm ready to just get to the point,
10:42 tell me what it is,
10:43 and let's move on
10:44 while she's giving me everything
10:47 and everyone first of all.
10:49 I'm even worse than that.
10:50 Not only do I want the bottom line
10:52 it's because I'm anticipating that
10:54 there's something there I can fix.
10:56 I want to give.
10:58 Right, right. Yeah.
10:59 So I like missing two bolts.
11:01 Right. Wow, wow, wow.
11:03 And let's kind of break it down even more,
11:05 so I bought the emotional side as well,
11:07 because and you rightly said at the beginning that women,
11:10 you know,
11:11 they can cry
11:12 at the opening of a grocery store.
11:14 And, you know, a male looks at it and says,
11:16 "You know, what it is? It's not that deep,
11:17 you know, it's just this, it's not that."
11:19 You know, even with problems,
11:21 you know, in our basic relationships.
11:22 You know, sometimes we can see it,
11:24 you know, a whole lot deeper than we see it.
11:26 You know, how do we kind of balance this emotional side
11:31 if men have a deficit that is,
11:33 what can we do to try to understand
11:39 our spouses, our girlfriends?
11:41 Well, it's actually sort of a double deficit.
11:44 Because to begin with
11:46 we have a smaller bonding system.
11:49 So just on the physiological level,
11:52 we are not capable of being emotionally stirred
11:58 like the women are.
12:00 So we already starting with a minus,
12:01 if you want to call it a minus.
12:03 And then we are socialized not to behave emotionally.
12:08 So it's sort of a double whammy going on.
12:11 And as guys we need to recognize that.
12:14 And so we need to work on the deficits that we have
12:19 and we need to understand that if the woman,
12:22 the girl is emotional
12:24 over some content, some incident,
12:28 we cannot dismiss it, because we are not feeling it.
12:32 We have to learn to tune in and we have to learn to feel,
12:37 and you know how we don't like to feel.
12:40 So we have to work on that part of us.
12:43 Okay.
12:44 It's sort of like working on a PhD, Pastor.
12:47 I know every day that you have something to do toward that in.
12:51 You're not always energized and ready to go for it,
12:53 but you discipline yourself
12:55 and you do many things that are not natural
12:59 that you don't always feel like doing,
13:01 because the desired outcome has a great value.
13:05 And that's how we've got to get in our relationships.
13:08 It may not be natural for me
13:10 to sit and hear all the story behind the story,
13:13 it may not be natural for me
13:15 to not jump in and try to come up with some fixes
13:19 that are not warranted.
13:21 But if I value the relationship,
13:24 then what I, you know, getting the understanding,
13:27 appreciating our differences
13:28 and understanding that
13:30 she has a different set of needs.
13:32 I should value the relationship
13:34 so that I discipline myself, right?
13:36 Now it sounds all great and good.
13:39 Am I perfect at that? No.
13:42 But now that I know
13:43 I have something that I can shoot for that
13:45 I can work on day by day, moment by moment.
13:50 And that makes all the difference in the world
13:54 when you're trying, 'cause that's all...
13:56 That's what we can do as sinful man.
13:59 Okay.
14:00 And you want to keep in mind
14:01 that all that the woman needs is just the knowledge
14:04 that you are trying.
14:07 They know that you're not capable.
14:10 They just want to know that you're trying.
14:13 You know, I'm a clinical psychologist
14:16 and I know better.
14:17 I know these things.
14:18 It doesn't make it easier for me.
14:20 You know, I like, Muta, tell me the bottom line.
14:24 I'm thinking, don't waste my time,
14:27 just tell me the bottom line.
14:29 And that can lead into a lot of problems.
14:32 Brandon just mentioned something
14:34 about problem solving.
14:36 When a female brings an issue to you
14:39 and, you know, I don't want to steal your thunder at all.
14:42 So we immediately look for solutions,
14:47 immediately, because we're thinking
14:49 that's what we're supposed to do.
14:52 But a lot of times that's not what they want.
14:54 They simply want you to sit and listen
14:55 to what they're saying.
14:57 And then when it's done,
14:58 they walk away and say thank you.
15:00 For what, I haven't done anything?
15:01 You didn't solve. You didn't solve the problem.
15:03 It's worse for me,
15:04 'cause I have two engineering degrees.
15:06 I have a bachelor's degree
15:07 and a master's degree in engineering.
15:09 So I have a greater propensity,
15:12 probably than other men
15:14 to want to solve problems, to want to design solutions.
15:19 So I got a double bend.
15:21 Maybe I can come and take your appointment.
15:25 I think we all need to get appointment.
15:28 Physician heal thyself.
15:31 Sure, sure, sure.
15:33 Let's go back to communication,
15:34 because I think this is,
15:36 you know, some of the crux of
15:37 sometimes we find difficulty and find problems
15:40 where men communicate differently than women,
15:42 of course.
15:43 And the basic example is that in that times,
15:45 you know, the woman might say,
15:47 she may walk by the trashcan or something and say,
15:50 "Wow, you know,
15:51 it's overflowing today that, you know,
15:53 the garbage is coming out the trashcan."
15:54 And we may say something like,
15:56 "Oh, it is, really? That's more a clump."
15:58 And she clearly, you know,
16:00 communicated to, you know, to us
16:02 that, okay, hey, you know, it's time to change it.
16:05 But why does that happen and how do we...
16:09 And then you kind of spoke about before,
16:11 you've got to be intentional
16:12 about trying to change but help us understand,
16:14 you know, what can we do as men
16:16 knowing that we are different than women?
16:20 Well, at a fundamental level,
16:24 we have to accept the fact
16:26 that we are fundamentally different.
16:27 Okay.
16:29 The woman is not behaving weird or funny,
16:33 she's different.
16:35 And so once we understand that,
16:37 then we've got to make a conscious decision now,
16:40 what am I going to do with her differences,
16:43 how am I going to tune in,
16:45 so that we can complement each other.
16:49 And a huge part of that
16:51 is listening and paying attention.
16:55 And the reason why some men say that
16:57 their wives or girlfriends are nags.
17:00 It is because they have to say
17:01 the same thing over and over and over again,
17:04 because we are not listening.
17:08 We may hear what they're saying,
17:10 but we are not listening to what they're saying.
17:12 And one good way to kind of test that
17:15 is when, for instance,
17:18 oh, the trash is overflowing today.
17:20 Whoa,
17:21 you know, we may think that
17:25 the wife is saying take the trash out.
17:27 So, you know, immediately
17:29 we want to pick it up and take it out.
17:31 The better thing to do is to,
17:34 you know, respond, tell me some more.
17:36 You know, like,
17:37 what do you mean it's overflowing?
17:39 You mean, it wasn't overflowing last week.
17:41 You know, reflect what they're asking
17:44 and try to tune in to what they say
17:46 because they'll be talking about
17:47 something totally different.
17:49 Wow.
17:50 And you were totally clueless,
17:51 because you were hearing,
17:53 but you're not listening to what they're saying.
17:55 Wow, wow.
17:57 I mean, as I listen to that, I will find myself okay,
17:59 go and get it done.
18:00 You're right. Right, right.
18:01 'Cause that's what she wants, but it'll be something else.
18:03 Right.
18:04 Oh, you know, she may be thinking,
18:06 well, you know, the trash is overflowing,
18:08 however
18:09 the laundry is more important right now.
18:11 So I would prefer if you help me with the laundry
18:14 and we can do the trash later,
18:16 because garbage day is not until Thursday.
18:19 But we don't know that.
18:20 We assume we know
18:22 what she means by saying that the trash is overflowing.
18:25 So we've got to learn to listen more
18:27 and to ask questions.
18:29 Okay.
18:30 I think you're right, being attentive is real big.
18:34 Recent experience that just happened,
18:35 my wife comes in...
18:37 She left in the morning,
18:38 I stayed up late
18:40 to go drop off my son at school.
18:41 She comes in and,
18:42 you know, I'm groggy, and she goes,
18:45 "The truck was empty."
18:48 "Okay. So did you fill it?"
18:51 "Yes, I did."
18:53 "So why are you telling me,
18:54 you know, you got it done, didn't you?"
18:57 I have to be attentive,
18:58 I need you to take care of these things.
19:00 These little things.
19:01 Check if my truck is empty,
19:03 you know, make sure that it's filled up.
19:05 So when I leave in the morning,
19:06 I don't have to stop in the cold
19:08 and pick up and get that.
19:09 And then another thing is
19:11 when the dishes need to be cleaned.
19:14 Oh, man, I need to do the dishes.
19:17 So you go up and you start doing the dishes.
19:18 And she says,
19:19 "Well, I don't need you to do the dishes.
19:21 I'm doing it."
19:22 "Well, I thought you told me
19:24 'cause you wanted me to do the dishes."
19:25 "No, I just wanted you to be in the room with me."
19:27 Exactly.
19:28 So I mean,
19:30 it's just about learning the opposite sex,
19:33 learning what are these cues
19:35 and learning exactly what to look for.
19:38 Okay.
19:39 You know, one of my favorite writers,
19:42 gospel writers,
19:44 lady by the name of Ellen White
19:46 wrote something that was very powerful for me.
19:49 She said,
19:50 "We should not desire that our spouses be more like us,
19:54 because if they were, we would get along even less."
19:59 Wow.
20:00 So put two people
20:02 who want to always do the same thing,
20:05 be the same thing to a listener needs a talker,
20:08 a talker needs a listener,
20:11 someone who is very dependent
20:13 needs someone who is independent,
20:15 you know, if you is dependent as I am, I don't feel secure.
20:18 So what do I need with you?
20:20 But it's interesting,
20:21 'cause a lot of times
20:23 that will fools us into thinking that
20:24 we actually need the person to be more like us
20:28 in order for us to get along.
20:29 Well, the reality is we're not consistent.
20:33 So if you and I are the same,
20:37 there's no guarantee that we won't be in the same place
20:40 at any given point in time.
20:42 You know,
20:43 how often have you been strong on an issue A
20:46 and then just flip on that
20:48 as you learn more and live more like?
20:49 Well, that person's trek through life
20:52 is not gonna be exactly the same as yours.
20:54 So at some point in time
20:55 you're gonna find a sink anyway.
20:57 It's at that point
20:59 that the sameness works against you.
21:01 So if you want long-term success
21:03 in your relationship,
21:04 you shouldn't ask for your spouse
21:07 to be just like you.
21:09 That will be a formula for catastrophe.
21:11 Wow. Absolutely.
21:12 I want to go back to this dual processing issue
21:17 and how critical it is.
21:19 You know, as I mentioned before,
21:22 women are able to kind of process
21:24 and retrieve information from both hemispheres.
21:27 And us guys, you know, we can barely hang on to one,
21:29 you know, we have a standard joke,
21:31 if a guy is driving and the radio is on,
21:34 and he gets lost,
21:35 what is the first thing he has to do?
21:37 He has to turn the radio down or off,
21:40 because he can't attend to two stimuli,
21:43 two competing stimuli at the same time.
21:46 And because of a woman's ability
21:48 to kind of multiprocess,
21:50 they have what is called intuition,
21:54 better than what we can ever hope to have.
21:57 And that's why
21:59 if you go shopping with your wife or girlfriend,
22:02 and you walk into a car dealership and,
22:05 you know, you're the guy, you're the engineer, you know,
22:07 you know about cars and whatever and whatever.
22:09 And, of course, that's not her training,
22:11 but she may just say to you,
22:13 "You know what? No, no."
22:16 And then you may go,
22:17 "Why? It is a good deal.
22:19 Why?
22:20 You know, I'm the man, I need to make this decision."
22:22 And she may say,
22:23 "You know what?
22:25 No, I don't have a reason for it."
22:26 As guys, we need to learn to tune into that.
22:29 Wow.
22:30 That is priceless. Wow.
22:31 That is priceless. That's true.
22:33 Definitely.
22:34 Yeah, it's how you throw
22:36 that feeling just deep down inside.
22:37 She is picking up the integrity of the selves.
22:38 Absolutely, absolutely.
22:42 You know what? That is a blessing.
22:44 Because, you know, as you said before, Brandon,
22:46 you know, we sometimes we want to make someone just like us.
22:49 But as the Bible clearly says again,
22:51 Genesis 1:27 that God made us male and female.
22:56 Absolutely. He made us different.
22:59 And our differences really should be celebrated.
23:02 We should really look at that in a good light
23:04 and as a blessing.
23:06 Speaking of, again, the Bible, how does that translate,
23:09 how does that look, you know, differences,
23:10 you know, as it relates to spirituality,
23:12 and even the church?
23:14 We are different, of course, men worship,
23:17 you know, a little bit more, you know, reserved.
23:20 Sometimes when they come to church,
23:21 sometimes we don't, you know, cry as much.
23:23 How does that, you know,
23:25 work out as it relates to our walk with God?
23:31 The man being from Mars and women,
23:33 you know, as has been said from Venus,
23:35 how does that relate?
23:36 Even as I try to look at it for myself as a pastor,
23:39 you know, as I communicate the gospel that,
23:42 you know, men are gonna pick up on certain things,
23:44 as I communicate the gospel,
23:45 and women are gonna pick up on other things, you know?
23:49 And the challenge that,
23:50 you know, as I'm thinking right now,
23:52 how can I bring it together?
23:53 Sure.
23:55 You know, I think it behooves you and us
23:58 to always try to include both genders.
24:02 You know, within our church or church tend
24:05 sometimes to be more male dominated.
24:08 Okay.
24:10 And even in church board meetings,
24:12 in building committees, and planning,
24:14 and so on and so forth
24:16 we need to take a step back
24:18 and make certain
24:20 that we can benefit from the difference
24:22 that a woman brings to the table
24:26 in terms of planning the church service,
24:28 in terms of organizing activities,
24:31 in terms of developing programs
24:35 for single people
24:36 or married people in the church.
24:39 We must make certain
24:40 that we have a very balanced perspective.
24:42 Okay.
24:44 If not, we're gonna go wrong.
24:45 We're gonna make some very bad mistakes.
24:47 Okay, okay.
24:48 I know, by nature, I'm a strategic thinker,
24:52 a big picture, strategic thinker.
24:55 All through my career I've always had people
24:57 who can then distill those ideas,
25:00 instruct to put them into some real practical place.
25:04 My wife is an implementer.
25:07 She is a type of personal coordinator
25:12 takes the dream and brings it to life.
25:14 So you can imagine,
25:16 when we are able to appreciate our differences
25:19 and work together, particularly in ministry,
25:23 then God's ministry is that much more effective.
25:26 Okay, okay, that's good.
25:28 That's good.
25:30 As we talk about, you know, this difference that we have,
25:33 you know, men thinking different,
25:35 men being emotionally different.
25:39 As we think about, you know, our children as well,
25:41 as they grow up, what can we tell,
25:44 you know, those who are growing,
25:47 you know, so that they don't go down the same road
25:50 and make some of the same mistakes
25:52 that we make as men now,
25:54 as relates to our differences?
25:57 You know, and we will talk about domestic violence,
26:00 you know, we will talk about abuse
26:02 later on in our broadcast,
26:04 but what can we say to our sons
26:06 and what can we say to our daughters
26:08 is that, because the person is different
26:12 or doesn't see eye-to-eye,
26:13 doesn't mean that
26:15 you have to impose your will on that person,
26:18 doesn't mean that you have to become
26:19 verbally aggressive,
26:21 doesn't mean that you have to become
26:23 physically aggressive.
26:25 We need to mentor them and teach them
26:26 to celebrate the differences.
26:28 You know, don't teardown, build up,
26:31 you know, celebrate those differences.
26:33 You know, that's good.
26:35 Because I think that so many times
26:36 that we want to put people in a box,
26:38 you know, men do this, women do that.
26:41 And heard a story about, you know,
26:44 a kid that was coloring outside the lines
26:46 and he was coloring,
26:48 you know, all over the place.
26:49 And the teacher will always tell him, you know,
26:51 listen, you know,
26:52 you have to do it exactly this way,
26:54 stay within the box.
26:57 And the kid, now he will listen to teacher,
26:58 but every now and then, you know, he will go outside,
27:00 he enjoyed that.
27:01 And the point was is that
27:03 sometimes those who color outside the box
27:07 are the most creative.
27:09 You know, they're able to see things
27:10 from a different perspective.
27:12 And there's a man that has maybe lived his life
27:14 outside of the box
27:16 where you have not, you know,
27:19 there's a difference between the man and the woman,
27:20 you know, that always done things
27:22 exactly the same way as we said before,
27:24 because we are different in God's eyesight.
27:26 We don't have to, you know, be afraid,
27:29 but we do have to be intentional,
27:30 though that we can understand both sides
27:33 and be able to operate at a level
27:35 that God would have us to.
27:37 And celebrate our differences.
27:39 Absolutely, celebrate our differences.
27:40 Good.
27:42 We've about just 20 seconds left.
27:43 Any last comment or anything that you want to?
27:45 Well, my advice to all men is let the strong one lead.
27:49 If your wife is different, and better at something,
27:53 let her lead.
27:54 Wow, wow.
27:56 This has been absolutely a great conversation.
27:58 I pray that you are richly blessed from it.
28:00 I challenge you to be active
28:02 and to listen
28:04 and to know that God will be with you
28:06 every step of the way.
28:07 Until next time For Guys Only,
28:09 I'm Pastor William Lee.
28:10 Thank you so much for joining us on today.


Revised 2023-04-13