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Series Code: NP
Program Code: NP190831A
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00:09 >> Let's bow our heads and pray. Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for such a wonderful day. 00:15 Thank You for the Sabbath. We just ask that You be with us during this hour of worship and 00:21 praise, as we learn more about You. Thank You for all that You've 00:24 done for us. In Jesus' name, amen. 00:26 >> Amen. >> Good morning! 00:29 It's almost afternoon, but good morning and happy Sabbath. 00:34 Happy Sabbath! Aren't you so glad that it's 00:38 Sabbath today? Yes, it's just one of those 00:41 days that you know we just get to set aside time to worship 00:44 God, to spend time with family and friends. 00:47 But, you know, as we begin this morning, I just invite you to stand as we sing praises to God. 00:52 So, join us. ♪♪ 03:45 >> Amen. You may be seated. ♪♪ 03:50 ♪♪ ♪♪ 06:21 ♪♪ ♪♪ 06:30 ♪♪ 09:45 >> Amen. >> Amen. >> So, for some of us, we've 09:49 just ended the first week of school, and despite looking at those deadlines or looking at 09:54 what is to come ahead, you know, those feelings of stress and feeling overwhelmed starts to 09:59 kick in a little bit. So, it might not only just be classwork but could be finances 10:04 that we're dealing with. It could be family issues, friendships, relationships, or 10:09 just work issues, also, that cause us stress. But I just invite you right now 10:15 at the beginning of the semester to give those up to God. Sometimes, it's kind of hard to 10:22 release those things up to Him, but it's only through Christ, only in Christ are we able to 10:27 find that hope, that strength to go on, to go through those trials that we'll face ahead of 10:32 us. So, before we sing, I just invite you to stand again as we 10:37 sing the song, but if there's anything pressing on your heart that you'd like to bring 10:43 forward, I just invite you to come, as we sing, before we pray. 10:48 So, join us as we sing. 10:49 ♪♪ ♪♪ 15:10 >> Good afternoon. How are you guys doing? 15:13 Well, it is good to see you. And you guys, you guys cleaned 15:19 up nicely. 15:20 You're looking sharp, sharp, sharp. I am going to tell you a story 15:24 about a few years ago, when I was a student missionary in China, and I was living there 15:29 with my sister, and one day we decided we were ready to eat something different. 15:34 We had had enough Chinese food, and they had just opened a Pizza Hut on the other side of 15:39 town, and we were excited! But we weren't the only ones excited to go there because lots 15:44 of people apparently were ready for something different. And so, every day there was a 15:48 long, long line to get into Pizza Hut. And so, I said to my sister, 15:52 "You go ahead. You get in line. I'm going to run some errands on 15:56 the way, and I'll meet you there." And as I was crossing the very 16:00 first intersection on my bicycle, I saw the scariest thing I had ever seen in my 16:09 entire life. Because right there was something so scary that my mouth 16:21 went dry. It was... something so scary... 16:29 [ Laughter ] ...that I thought my heart was going to stop, because right 16:37 there... was something that made my life flash before my eyes. 16:45 [ Laughter ] Oh, it was so scary. Oh, and I know if I tell you 16:52 what it was, you'll say it's not scary, but I promise you, it was. 16:56 I was there. Because right there was a milk truck. 17:03 >> What?! >> Yes. Now... [ Laughter ] 17:08 Now I know, I know. You probably don't think milk trucks are scary. 17:18 And this is not an advertisement for being a vegan, but dairy can be scary. 17:24 But right there was a milk truck, and it was still moving in my direction. 17:31 And then everything went black. When I woke up again, I was surrounded by people. 17:36 It doesn't take too long in China for a crowd to form, and they were all talking Chinese at 17:43 the same time. And then everything went black again. 17:47 Now, I was actually working at a hospital there in China. I was teaching English, and I 17:54 had some fantastic students, all kinds of doctors and nurses, and then I had another student. 18:02 His name was Gilbert. And Gilbert was not a doctor. He was not a nurse. 18:08 He was not a medical tech. He was not good at diagnosing things or helping people with 18:15 stuff like that. He worked with computers, and he was fantastic in that area. 18:19 But of all the people I would have wanted to help, Gilbert was not the one I needed then. 18:25 Oh, man, I would have liked a neurosurgeon or an orthopedic surgeon or a nurse or especially 18:32 an ER doctor. That would have been awesome. But when I came to again, who 18:39 was standing over me? Gilbert. And he said all that he had 18:47 learned up to that point. He said, "Teacher, how are you?" And everything went black again. 18:58 Now, sometimes we think that being a good friend means we have to do this, this, and this. 19:04 But being a good friend means you have to be there when people need you, doesn't it? 19:10 And who has promised to always be there when we need Him? Who has promised that He will 19:17 never leave us or forsake us? >> Jesus. >> Jesus! Yes! 19:20 And Jesus is the best friend, and He is always going to be there for us. 19:24 And do you know where I was the next time I woke up? I was in the hospital. 19:30 Gilbert had carried me to the hospital. He was a good friend. 19:37 And you guys, if you're going to follow Jesus, one of the best ways you can follow Jesus is 19:44 this week be a good friend. Be there for people who need you. 19:48 Be there when people are sad. Be there when people are hurt. Be there. 19:52 Be a good friend, like Jesus. How many of you want to thank Jesus for being a good friend? 19:58 And how many of you want to say, "Jesus, this week I want to follow You, and I want to be a 20:03 good friend to those around me"? Who would like to pray and thank Jesus? 20:10 We've got one up here. Not only did she select herself, her neighbor voted for her, too. 20:15 So, that's a definite win. And what is your name? >> Ziana. 20:20 >> Okay, will you thank Jesus for being our best friend and ask Him to help us be friends to 20:26 those around us? Let's pray. >> Thank You, Jesus, for helping 20:31 us and thank You for helping us do good grades at class. And help us be with our friends. 20:41 Help us be brave. And thank You, Jesus. Amen. 20:47 >> Amen. Thank you so much. And as you go back to your seat, 20:52 remember, you can be a good friend, just like Jesus is for you. 21:01 >> ♪ Hold ♪ H-o-o-o-o-ld 21:16 >> ♪ Hold >> ♪ Hold 21:18 >> ♪ On >> ♪ On 21:20 >> ♪ Hold >> ♪ Hold 21:21 >> ♪ On >> ♪ On 21:23 >> ♪ Hold >> ♪ Hold 21:24 >> ♪ On >> ♪ On 21:26 >> ♪ Hold >> ♪ Hold 21:27 >> ♪ On >> ♪ If you want to get 21:28 to Heaven, I'll tell you how ♪ ♪ Just keep your hand 21:32 on the Gospel plow ♪ 21:34 ♪ Keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold 21:40 >> ♪ On >> ♪ If that plow stays in your hand, 21:43 land you straight to the Promised Land ♪ ♪ Keep your hand on the plow 21:50 and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on 21:55 >> ♪ Hold on, hold on 21:57 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on and keep 22:01 your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ 22:06 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on, hold on 22:11 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on and keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ 22:20 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Mary wore three links of chain ♪ 22:25 ♪ Every link spelled my Jesus' name ♪ ♪ Keep your hand on the plow 22:32 and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Keep on plowing 22:37 ♪ Don't you tire ♪ Every round goes higher and higher ♪ 22:42 ♪ Keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold on 22:49 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on, hold on >> ♪ Hold on 22:54 >> ♪ Hold on and keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ 23:02 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on, hold on 23:07 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on and keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ 23:16 ♪ Hold on, hold on >> ♪ I heard the voice of Jesus say, "Come on to me, 23:28 I am the way" ♪ ♪ Keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ 23:35 >> ♪ Hold on, hold on ♪ Keep on plowing and don't you tire ♪ 23:41 ♪ Every round goes higher and higher ♪ ♪ Keep your hand on the plow 23:48 and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on 23:53 >> ♪ Hold on, hold on >> ♪ Hold on and keep your hand on the plow 24:02 and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on 24:07 >> ♪ Hold on, hold on >> ♪ Hold on and keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ 24:21 >> ♪ Hold on ♪ Keep your hand on the plow of the Gospel ♪ 24:25 >> ♪ Hold on ♪ Keep your hand on the plow of the Gospel ♪ 24:29 ♪ Keep your hand on the Gospel plow ♪ ♪ Hold on 24:33 ♪ Keep your hand on the plow of the Gospel ♪ >> ♪ Keep your hand on the plow 24:38 of the Gospel ♪ >> ♪ Keep your hand on the plow of the Gospel ♪ 24:43 ♪ Keep your hand on the Gospel plow ♪ ♪ Keep your hand on the plow 24:49 >> ♪ Keep your hand on the plow ♪ ♪ Keep your hand on the plow 24:57 ♪ Keep your hand on the plow and hold on ♪ >> ♪ Hold on, hold on 25:12 >> ♪ Hold on >> ♪ Hold on, hold on ♪ Hold on 25:20 ♪ Hold on [ Cheers and applause ] 25:33 >> Thank you, University Singers. Boy, that was beautiful, wasn't 25:37 it? Thank you, Juwel Howard, as well -- beautiful solo piece. 25:45 Thank you, Steve Zork. Thank you, singers. Wow. 25:49 Keep your hand on the Gospel plow and do what? >> Hold on. 25:53 >> Hold on. Don't let go. Don't let go. I wish you didn't have to take 25:58 summer vacations. Why do you guys leave in the summer? 26:01 [ Laughter ] We could have had you all summer. 26:05 Good to have you back on this first Sabbath, first weekend of Andrews University. 26:11 And if you're visiting today, you stuck your head in and said, "I got to check out this 26:17 renovation project that they've been working on all summer." I'm sure glad you came. 26:22 Delighted to have you. Ooh, we got a -- we got a -- we got a great series that begins 26:29 right now -- "Roommates, Bad Dates, & Soulmates." To help me, they're going to be 26:35 up here in just a moment, some of my favorite Gen-Z'ers. You know what Gen-Z'er is? 26:41 Born between 1995 and 2006. They got right into that category. 26:45 They're going to join me up here, and I'll introduce them to you, and we're going to have 26:49 some fun just thinking about life. In the meantime, I want to pray 26:54 with you, and let's see where this journey takes us. Father, hold on. 26:59 We got it. We got it. Just hold on. Some of us here today are 27:04 feeling like letting go. This is Labor Day weekend, already in the new season. 27:14 Don't let them let go. Don't let anybody here let go. We're going to hold on. 27:19 There's something to live for. We're going to hold on. There's someone who cares. 27:25 So, our few minutes together, make it clear. We pray in Jesus' name. 27:29 Amen. 27:30 So, years ago, a songwriter named Harry Nilsson wrote a song 27:37 that begins with these words -- ♪ One is the loneliest number 27:44 that you'll ever do ♪ ♪ Two can be as bad as one 27:50 ♪ It's the loneliest number since the number one ♪ 27:56 Why you looking at me that way? I'm not going to quit my day 27:58 job. So, don't worry about it. 28:00 I'm fine. You know, was the songwriter 28:04 right? I think he was. 28:07 I read a piece this summer, L.A. Times op-ed piece, 28:11 written by the vice provost of USC. 28:14 You know what those initials stand for? University of Southern 28:18 California. If you're a Notre Dame football fan, you know what you feel 28:24 about USC. So, the vice provost, his opening words in this op-ed 28:27 piece, put them on the screen, please. Take a look at this. 29:00 Come on. What's that word? What's that word? Loneliness. 29:02 ♪ One is the loneliest number It's the truth. So, I read that op-ed piece, and 29:09 I said, "Hmm, Google, help me out. Is it just the young that have 29:14 struggles with loneliness?" And Google kicked up all its answers. 29:18 I found this March this year, U.S. News and World Report, reporting on a study they did of 29:23 20,000 U.S. adults. And in this study, they found -- let me just share this with 29:29 you -- that nearly half of those adults felt lonely at least sometime. 29:35 Hmm? And only 53%, hardly over half, said they had meaningful, 29:41 face-to-face interactions every day. Whoa. 29:48 One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. Some researchers, in fact, are 29:56 declaring loneliness a national epidemic in America. Turns out whether you're young 30:02 or not so young, loneliness is an equal-opportunity big hurt. Come on. So, what do we do? 30:11 We're surrounded by people. I got a thousand followers on my social-media account, but I'm 30:17 lonely. What's up with that? One more word from our friend, 30:22 the vice provost, who is Varun Soni. His words on the screen here... 30:40 Kids aren't the only one asking the question. Married or single doesn't 30:43 matter, young or not so young. People are wondering, "How do I" -- put that on the screen 30:47 again, please. "How do I make friends?" "Roommates, Bad Dates, & 30:52 Soulmates" -- this isn't just for teeny-boppers. This is for you and me, whatever 30:57 your age is, because we're all in this together. I want to share with you four 31:04 secrets to growing a friendship forever. Four secrets. 31:08 I'm gonna start with this word from the Creator, a very provocative word, by the way, at 31:14 the beginning of human history, the Creator. Listen to this. 31:18 This is Genesis, chapter 2. Genesis 2:18. "Then the Lord God said, "It is 31:24 not good for the man" -- he's talking about Adam there -- "to be alone; I will make a 31:29 companion who can help him." He's talking about Eve. We all know -- those of you that 31:35 read the New Testament know that Jesus is the Creator of the universe. 31:38 So, that's the preincarnate Christ saying, "You know what? It is not good for a man to be 31:42 alone. It's not good for anybody to be alone. 31:44 I'm gonna make a partner. I'm gonna give you a friend. You need a friend." 31:50 Some people read that line and say, "Aha! You know what this is telling us 31:53 to do? This is requiring everybody to get married." 31:57 It's like this little girl who came home from Vacation Bible School, and mommy 32:01 said, "What did you learn at Vacation Bible School?" And the little girl, "Our 32:04 teacher told us about Noah and the ark and how the animals went in two by two." 32:09 And the mother said, "Well, what did you learn from that?" And the little girl replied, 32:14 "Yo, you got to get married if you don't want to be left behind." 32:19 [ Laughter ] I don't think that's what God is trying to teach to that story 32:26 because the truth of the matter is, come on, singles, some of the greatest figures in 32:31 Holy Scripture, our Lord Jesus Himself, they were single all their lives, as Jesus was. 32:37 So, this is not God saying, "You got to get married in order to be happy." 32:42 So, we just got that one out of this little series quickly. No. 32:46 "One" -- that's what the Creator is saying. "You were made for people. 32:50 You were not made -- one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do. 32:55 You were not made to be alone. I'm gonna help you find a friend." 33:00 "Roommates, Bad Dates, Soulmates." So, the big question is, if I've 33:05 been created for friends, how am I going to make those friends? And, by the way, it's not just 33:12 about making friends. It's also about keeping friends, because some of you are saying, 33:14 "Man, I have no need of this, because I already have all the friends I want." 33:18 Yeah, but can you keep your friends? So, we plunge into this 33:26 together. It's interesting when you talk about making friends, by the 33:31 way. Well, they did a study over in Norway, 15,000 people in this 33:35 survey, and they found out that based on your age, they can tell the kind of friendship you're 33:40 focused on. This is fascinating. Let's put it on the screen. 33:43 Between 18 and 29, if that's your age, you're looking for quantity. 33:47 You want lots and lots of friends. "Look at how many friends I 33:50 have. Can you see this? Lookit -- those are all my 33:52 friends." Alright? So, quantity's a big deal from 33:55 18 to 29. From 30 to 64, quality -- they want a deepening relationship, 34:00 not many friends. "I just want to go deeper." And 65 and older? 34:04 I couldn't find anything. I think they're saying, "Look. At 65 and older, you ought to be 34:08 glad you're alive and just get on with it." [ Laughter ] 34:11 "Who needs this?" So, the good news is, we're gonna share both. 34:20 We're gonna help you up your friend count, and we're gonna help you deepen your 34:23 relationships. That's the deal. Now, a Dr. Stephen Johnson in 34:26 the book "Friendship Factor," a delightful book if you can ever get a hold of it, he says, 34:30 "Listen. You need to ask yourself four questions because some of you 34:32 are saying, 'Man, I got all the friends I need. I got the friends of the 34:35 world.' Okay, we're gonna find out. I'm gonna run four questions by 34:39 you, and you're gonna check and see if your friends match this, because if they match this, then 34:45 you got some serious friends." Alright? Let's put four questions on the 34:48 screen. Question number one... 34:57 The fire this very week in the village of Berrien Springs Saturday night -- wasn't that 35:02 something? That fire -- immediately, 40 -- in an apartment complex -- 35:08 gone. Forty people displaced. A bunch of them had to pull 35:12 their cellphones out and say, "Hey, yo, yo, yo, this is bad. Can I stay with you for a 35:18 while?" So, question number one, do you have friends nearby -- the key 35:22 word -- put that back on the screen, question number one again, please. 35:26 The key word there is, "Do you have at least one person nearby?" 35:29 We're not talking about your mom and dad across the world. We're talking somebody nearby 35:34 whom you can call on in times of personal distress. Here comes question number 35:38 two... 35:45 Yo, ding-dong or knock at the dormitory door. "Yo, I'm here." 35:49 "Come on in." Do you have some of those? Good. I'm glad for you. 35:54 Here's question number three... 35:58 Karen and I want to do some biking this weekend. "Yo, you want to go biking?" 36:01 Do you have friends like that? And, finally, question number four... 36:09 Whoa! Now we're getting down to brass tacks. 36:16 Now, if you're a student, the likelihood of that is pretty low, if you have students for 36:21 friends, but read the rest of the question. 36:32 If you're not sure about any of these questions, and you'd like to up your friend count or 36:37 deepen your relationships, I got good news for you. You're in the right place at the 36:42 right time. That's what we're going after. Now, I want to bring my Gen-Z'er 36:46 friends up. You know what Gen-Z is, don't you? 36:49 Born between 1995 and 2006. Okay, so, come on up, guys. These are college students, 36:53 university students here at Andrews, and their names are officially in the worship 36:58 bulletin. You want to get the full names, but I'm gonna start here with 37:03 Alex because Alex my man is majoring in psychology -- good guy to have. 37:07 By the way, I met all through the school year with a group we call the Collegiate Council, and 37:11 there are a whole bunch more that are not here, but these three did some research this 37:15 summer and shared their research with me. And so, I want to honor that. 37:19 So, Alex is here. He's a psychology major. We got Rebecca right beside 37:23 Alex. She is finishing up on nursing. Both of these are finishing up. 37:27 You got William on the other side of the pulpit. William is architecture. 37:30 Now, architecture means you got to go five years just to get your basic minimum. 37:34 So, William is gonna be here just a little longer. Guys, I want to talk about 37:39 social media. Come on. That's the big deal right now. 37:43 What did I read? 51% of the planet is under the age of 25. 37:47 98% of teens on the planet own smartphones. And the average of young, from 37:56 13 to 24, the average is 100 times checking in on their social media. 38:07 Okay? Let's roll this little video because we got this video. 38:11 It's a cute, little setup, and we need to see what this video's trying to tell us. 38:15 Please. >> Huh, Lisa just got promoted to manager at work. 38:22 Tsk. I got to say something to her. I'm gonna say...congratulations. 38:28 You're amazing. LOL! Oh, here's Lisa. 38:32 She wants -- she's planning a party to celebrate this thing. I don't think I'm gonna go to 38:39 this. Sorry, Lisa, I can't come. I'll be out of town that day. 38:45 Ah, it's not true, but Lisa is making a big deal about nothing. Look. 38:51 Jimmy's in Italy. And he's with Karen and Carlos, too? 38:56 And they wanted me to go with them, but I was just so behind on all of my favorite TV shows, 39:01 and I really didn't have time to travel right now. [ Cellphone rings ] 39:04 Hello? Oh, hi, Jess. Okay, well, you said this week 39:12 or this weekend? Oh. Okay, so, tonight. 39:17 Um...well, I really appreciate it, but, um, I got to work late tonight. 39:24 And the rest of the week, too. Okay. Thank you. You have a good day. 39:29 Thank you, Jess. Alright, we'll talk to you later. 39:32 Bye. [ Sighs ] You're such a good listener. 39:36 I know. You're such a good listener. 39:38 This is why I love talking to you. 39:40 I know. Who needs other friends when we 39:43 have each other? You're the best. 39:44 You're the best! I know. 39:50 >> So, Alex, come on. You did the research this summer on interpersonal relationships. 39:54 You sent me that paper, and I have it right here. I was fascinated by this, 39:57 intrigued. "Daniel" -- you quote him -- "Daniel Gulati, in his article, 40:02 'Facebook Is Making Us Miserable'" -- No, social media is making us 40:07 miserable? Come on! What's up with that, Alex? 40:10 >> A good way to answer is another research that was done in 1982, most people had a 40:16 confidant or somebody they could really rely on and talk to. They had about an average of 40:21 three. >> Thirty? >> Three. 40:24 >> Three. >> In 2004, that number dropped to two. 40:28 In 2010, Pew Research did, among the same topic, and they found that it was two again, but 40:35 second and very close to being first, most people said none. And social media, we drive for 40:41 this fact of being connected with people, but it seems to be really that it drives us to not 40:47 have true connection to people and end up being more alone after being on social media than 40:54 before. >> That's amazing to me, that technology creates a silo, and 40:58 we're just living in that silo. Now, you guys are all social-media experts, I know. 41:04 But when I think of social media, a lot of people like to kind of dis social media, like, 41:09 "Well, let's get rid of social media, get rid of this technology." 41:14 We're not doing that. There have to be some upsides, okay? 41:17 So, let's just think out loud. What would you say -- any of you -- an upside to social 41:22 media? >> Well, Pastor Dwight, I think we know, and as a church, social 41:26 media has been a huge part of our ministry, and we were able to reach so many people in 41:30 different parts of the world. But, personally, from my experience, I have had the 41:34 chance to grow up in different countries. I lived in Burma, Philippines, 41:38 and now in the States, and if there wasn't social media, I wouldn't be able to still 41:42 connect with my friends from different parts of the country. In fact, my very best friend, 41:46 Kimberly, she's in the Philippines at the moment, and it's only through social media 41:50 that we're able to connect each other until now, after several years. 41:53 >> So, it's not about getting rid of social media. It's not about getting rid of 41:57 the technology. It can't be. It's a very useful tool. 42:01 But -- and I was looking through your paper between services, and I came across this "Facebook 42:09 envy." In other words, what's going on there? 42:12 Will, come on. Jump in. What's going on -- Facebook envy. 42:16 Why are people looking at this and "Uhh..."? >> So, this summer I came across 42:21 a term that I guess I haven't been able to place yet, and it was that the new generation is 42:28 tech dependent and not tech savvy. >> Mm-hmm. 42:32 >> And I see that in the light that when we're needing to go 42:37 somewhere, for example, need to talk to someone. 42:42 We don't go to that person directly, but, instead, we may just text them, and we avoid 42:48 these encounters that we could have, more genuine encounters, because we become tech 42:55 dependent. >> Yeah. >> And I believe that kind of 42:57 goes along with Facebook, as well, because instead of going to someone, asking them, 43:01 "What's going on in your life?" and just finding out from the person themselves, you can just 43:05 scroll down their feed and see everything that's going on. >> Yeah. 43:09 This thing about curating -- you know, a museum curator. 43:13 What does he do? What does she do? 43:16 She puts out the exhibit exactly like she wants everybody to see 43:20 it. That's what's going on with 43:23 social media now. 43:24 Unpack that for us. Come on -- this curating business. 43:27 >> I think that's where the danger and where social media kind of brings us down, even 43:32 though it has great positive aspects, is that we look and we see all of the positive, all the 43:37 great things that everyone else is doing, and then we look and reflect on our own life, and we 43:42 realize, "Hey, I'm not in Europe. I'm not doing this crazy thing. 43:46 I'm not doing this awesome thing." And so, because of that, it 43:50 brings us down, and we end up reflecting and being saddened by our own experience because we're 43:55 not living this "beautiful" life that everyone else is. >> And, also, it could even turn 44:01 into a competition, you know, who has more followers -- this façade of who's more 44:06 popular or who has more friends? And I think it's easy to get trapped in that. 44:11 >> Yeah, it just leaves a hole in your heart. Now listen. 44:17 Before you sit down, there's a verse -- let's put it on the screen here, Proverbs 18:24. 44:21 There it is. 44:26 So, you guys are maxed out with social media, but, real quick, just something you do on campus 44:34 that reaches out of your cocoon to be a friend to somebody. >> A thing I love doing is just 44:41 looking up from my phone and seeing who's around me that I have a chance to talk to, 44:46 chance to interact with. Some of the most meaningful experiences in my life have 44:50 come from that. Hey, I'm single, and other people -- that may be a possible 44:53 opportunity to find your future girlfriend, your future spouse, you know? 44:57 >> Mm-hmm. >> There's a lot of opportunities there. 44:59 >> Mm-hmm. Anybody else? >> Well, I guess for me on a 45:04 daily basis, it's an intentionality that I try to have. 45:08 Every morning, I believe that where we ground ourselves is in Jesus Christ. 45:13 And people see that, you know? If one day I forget, or if I say, "Mm, I'm not feeling 45:17 today," and I forget to talk to my Creator, my interactions throughout the day, I think 45:22 people can feel that. And they can see the intentionality between me loving 45:26 them through Jesus' eyes and me trying to love them just out of my own self because at the end 45:30 of the day, God is love. >> Praise God, guys. >> And we can't reproduce that. 45:34 >> I think it's not just a daily thing, right? It's about maintaining that 45:38 friendship, and for me the most important thing is knowing my worth in Christ first. 45:43 >> Mm-hmm. >> And my main goal in life is to pursue that relationship and 45:46 that walk with Jesus. So, I look around campus, and I say, "Who else can I take on 45:50 that journey with me? Who else can walk with me?" If I see someone sitting alone, 45:54 or if when I pray and say, "Hey," the Holy Spirit speaks, and say, "I want you to pray for 46:00 this person today." And I truly, truly believe that God places us daily in just 46:05 areas in exactly where we need to be to reach out to those around us. 46:08 >> Hey, guys, that's some young wisdom -- beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us. 46:12 Put your hands together for our presenters, our Gen-Z presenters. 46:16 [ Applause ] Okay, let's run through these. I'm gonna fire these off at you. 46:24 Would you kindly jot them down, please? Take your study guide out now. 46:27 There's a study guide tucked into your worship bulletin. Looks like this. 46:31 At the bottom of the page -- we've already covered all that, so get down to the bottom, "Four 46:36 secrets to growing friendships." 46:38 And while you're doing that, let's put a title slide on for 46:42 the viewers. There we go. 46:43 New Perceptions. Those of you that are 46:45 livestreaming already know the site, but those of you watching 46:48 on television now, or some delay somewhere, there you go -- 46:51 newperceptions.tv. You're looking for a brand-new 46:53 miniseries, only three long -- yeah, ushers, would you please 46:56 stand. And hold your hand up if you 46:58 didn't get one of these when you came in. 46:59 Just hold your hand up. Here they come. 47:01 So, anyway, 3-part series -- "Roommates, Bad Dates, & 47:03 Soulmates." This is our first part. 47:06 Let's go. 47:09 Friendship secret number one -- jot it down, please. Less of me and more of you. 47:14 This is the principle called "unselfishness." It's like this guy who was 47:17 talking with this girl, and he was going on and on about himself, all the places he had 47:21 been to, all the food he had eaten, all the things he had done. 47:24 And he finally ran out of steam, and he said, "Whew, that's enough of me talking about me. 47:29 Why don't you talk? What do you think about me?" [ Laughter ] 47:33 Yeah, really. It's just kind of like, "Are you serious?" 47:36 Jennifer Schwirzer says, "Listen. Don't be too hard on him. 47:39 We all do this." Put it on the screen. She's writing... 47:41 "We have all done it, and we have all suffered when others 47:44 have done it. The monologuist" -- I like that 47:47 word -- "fails to hold an actual conversation." 47:54 You have met people like that, present company excepted, of 47:57 course. 1 Corinthians 13:5 -- what does 48:00 the Bible say? 48:01 Ah, the big love chapter. Love is unselfish. It is not self-seeking. 48:08 Friendship secret number one -- less of me and more of you. And, by the way, it is not 48:14 always about you. Relax. Relax. 48:19 Okay, friendship secret number two -- jot it down. Let's talk. 48:22 Oh, this is the great principle for any relationship on Earth. You got to communicate -- 48:27 communication. You need to know less of me and more of you does not mean less 48:31 of talk. No, you got to talk and talk and talk a lot. 48:34 That's what makes relationships work. That's what makes friendships 48:37 work. That's what makes marriages work. 48:40 You've got to talk. We've got to communicate. The trick with social media -- 48:44 as the Gen-Z's were just talking about -- the trick is that you think you're having this, you're 48:49 Snapchatting away, and you think you're having this great conversation. 48:53 You know what you're doing? You're just letting the other person know on the other end of 48:57 the line that you're still breathing. That's it. 49:00 There's nothing deep going on here. It just becomes a way of "Oh, 49:06 we're in touch." No, no, no, no, no, no. You got to talk. 49:09 I like this. The husband-and-wife counselors, Les and Leslie Parrott, in their 49:14 book, "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts" -- jot this down. 49:18 "Consider this fact" -- their writing. 49:20 "Men say three times as many words in public as they do in 49:24 private." Will that be true, guys? 49:27 Three times as many words in public as in private. 49:30 Well, you're not sure, are you? What about the women? 49:33 "Women say three times as many words in private as they do in 49:36 public." Huh? What do you think? 49:41 One wife told these counselors, one wife told them, "Talking to my husband is like playing 49:46 tennis with no one in the other court." [ Laughter ] 49:52 Do these balls ever come back? Yeah. One counselor suggested the 49:59 amount of time a couple spends in an average week, the amount of time in meaningful 50:06 conversation -- 17 minutes. "Honey, where's the remote?" is not conversation. 50:10 [ Laughter ] Seventeen minutes of meaningful conversation. 50:15 Think about that. Whoa. Now my wife, Karen, she's 50:18 sitting on the front row, so I have to be careful now. My wife, Karen, likes to talk, 50:22 alright? But I like to talk, so that's not a negative. 50:25 She likes to talk. But I keep forgetting the little rule -- two ears, one mouth. 50:33 Why? Because you do this twice as much -- supposed to -- as this. 50:38 And when she comes home, and she wants to just go on about her work or a conversation she had 50:43 with so-and-so or an e-mail thread, as soon as she starts talking, do you know what I'm 50:49 thinking? "I can solve this. I can do this." 50:53 And I'm now working through, "Well, I'm not even gonna listen, 'cause I'm planning. 50:58 This is the idea!" You know what? She could give two hoots about 51:03 any solution that I can offer. You know what she wants? Compassionate, caring listening. 51:09 That's all. When she gets it all out, she's good. 51:12 And that was our conversation. Sometimes, we got to remember this. 51:17 Active listening is a part of active talking. You got to listen. 51:24 It's not just yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak-yak. Alright? 51:27 Oh, this is good. Alan McGinnis in his book "Friendship Factor"... 51:36 Because some guys spend the evening with their wife this way -- "Mm-hmm, uh-huh, yeah, 51:39 no, no, mnh-mnh, mm-hmm, grunt-grunt-grunt-grunt, mm-hmm, mm-hmm." 51:44 And then they want to jump in bed with that girl and be intimate. 51:48 You just blew it, buddy. Conversation is how intimacy is developed. 51:55 Yeah. Oh, let's talk. Let's talk. Okay, so, friendship secret 51:58 number two -- let's talk. There are only four of these. Here comes number three. 52:02 Friendship secret number three... 52:06 It's the gift of a good forgetter. Every friendship needs the gift 52:10 of a good forgetter because scorekeepers destroy relationships. 52:14 You know that. I want to put this on the screen. 52:17 Jacques Vaudre -- he is a family therapist down in the Caribbean. 52:21 His wonderful book, "Six Dynamic Keys." On the screen... 52:29 "The idea that love involves some sort of quid pro quo" -- that means this for that -- "is, 52:34 at best, evidence of immaturity that needs to be outgrown." 52:46 True story -- I once knew two men who could not forgive, who could not forgive. 52:53 One of them did something that ticked the other guy off. I was in the middle of their 52:57 friendship. I saw their friendship. They were the best of friends. 53:01 But one day, one of them did something that just ticked the other off, and guess what? 53:06 The other became a scorekeeper. And because of that score-keeping, that friendship 53:12 could never be restored at all. It was a sad and sorry story. By the way, the only way that 53:19 friendship can be restored today is if they both set the score back to zero-zero and then quit 53:25 counting. That's the only way, guys. In marriages, in friendships, 53:30 you can't keep score. Jesus taught us how to pray. It's the Lord's Prayer. 53:35 We're gonna sing it in just a moment. In the Lord's Prayer is this 53:41 line, Matthew 6:12. Jesus says -- and the prayer includes the words "And forgive 53:47 us our debts as we also have" -- that's the NIV. And then I'm adding, because the 53:53 Greek tense really suggests this -- "And forgive us our debts as we also have already 53:58 forgiven our debtors." That's what Jesus is saying to pray. 54:02 In other words, "Dear God, please treat me the way I have already treated my friends." 54:09 And God said, "Boom, what about that score-keeping?" "Oh, come on, God. 54:15 Don't worry about that." "No, no, no, no, no." God says, "Listen. 54:18 You want me to forgive you? You're holding onto an unforgiving spirit. 54:21 And if you're holding onto it, I can't take it away, anyway. That's why I can't" -- God's not 54:25 being mean. "I just can't." Forgive us our sins as we have 54:29 already quit keeping score for others. Jesus, in the Garden of 54:33 Gethsemane, in that dark and awful moment, do you know when Judas comes walking up to Him, 54:38 one of the inner circle -- he is gonna betray Him right now. Do you know what Jesus called 54:43 Judas? Put it on the screen. Matthew 26:50. 54:46 Jesus calls him friend. Friend. Wow. 54:53 Because that's what friends do. They're good forgivers. They're good forgetters. 55:00 Friendship secret number three -- quit keeping score. 55:02 Finally, friendship secret number four -- I'm willing to 55:06 lose so that you can win. It's called the principle of 55:10 self-sacrifice. If you're not willing to 55:12 sacrifice for that relationship, I don't care how shallow or how 55:15 deep it is, and I don't care with whom it is, if you're not 55:18 willing to sacrifice for that relationship, you've lost it. 55:21 It's gone. It's nothing but surface. True friendship, true friends 55:28 sacrifice for each other. And the most compelling evidence of that is a mother loving her 55:35 child. Saw some beautiful children and beautiful moms just coming up 55:37 here a moment ago for the children's story. You know what? 55:41 I conducted a funeral once of a baby who was burned to death in a house fire. 55:45 Yeah, it was just utterly sad. You've read the stories. We've all read them, of the 55:52 mother when she realizes. She gets outside, and she realizes, "One, two, three. 55:55 We're missing one!" 55:58 She's screaming. She starts to go back in. 56:00 The neighbors grab her. The burly firemen, they hold 56:02 onto her. If they would release her for 56:05 one moment, boom, she'd be in that fire, dead, as well. 56:11 Willing to lay down her life for that child. 56:15 On the eve of his execution, Jesus himself spoke words that 56:18 have become immortal now -- John 15:13. 56:22 Let's say these words out loud together... 56:33 Which is precisely what Jesus did on the cross for sinners like you and me. 56:37 He laid down His life, and guess what? Because He laid down His life 56:41 for His friends, you are a friend of His. Absolutely. 56:44 You are a friend of His. He laid down His life for you. He did it for me. 56:49 And when you have a friend who has laid down His life for you, can you ever have a closer 56:54 friend in the world, in the universe? BFF? Are you kidding? 57:02 It's Jesus. It's Jesus. 57:08 >> Think of the last time someone said, "I'm praying 57:11 for you." Didn't it give you a sense of 57:13 peace and reassurance that somebody cares for me? 57:16 I know how I feel when I get an e-mail from one of our viewers saying, "Yo, Dwight. 57:19 I've been praying for you lately." There's nothing like knowing 57:22 someone is praying for you. So I want to offer you an opportunity to partner -- let 57:26 me, let us partner with you in prayer. 57:28 If you have a special prayer request or a praise of 57:30 thanksgiving you'd like to share with us, I'm inviting you 57:33 to contact one of our friendly chaplains. 57:35 It's simple to do. You can call our toll-free 57:37 number -- 877 -- the two words "HIS WILL," 877-HIS-WILL. 57:42 That friendly voice that answers, you tell him, you tell 57:45 her what your prayer need is, we'll join with you in that 57:48 petition. 57:50 May the God who answers prayer journey with you these next few days until we're right back 57:54 here together again next time. 57:59 ♪♪ ♪♪ 58:18 ♪♪ |
Revised 2019-09-06