Participants:
Series Code: TDY
Program Code: TDY210017A
|
00:01 As you're well aware,
00:03 we're living in unprecedented times. 00:05 Join us now for Today special program. 00:12 I want to spend my life 00:18 Mending broken people 00:23 I want to spend my life 00:29 Removing pain 00:34 Lord, let my words 00:39 Heal a heart that hurts 00:44 I want to spend my life 00:50 Mending broken people 00:55 I want to spend my life 01:00 Mending broken people 01:16 Hello, I'm Shelley Quinn. 01:17 I'm JD Quinn 01:19 We are so glad you're joining us 01:20 for 3ABN Today. 01:23 We have two of our favorite people 01:25 here with us. 01:27 We just don't get to spend enough time with them. 01:29 And let's just go ahead 01:30 and introduce them right off the bat. 01:32 I hate to keep you over there. 01:35 All the way across the table in the dark, 01:37 we have Tom and Alane Waters with us. 01:39 We are so glad that you're here today. 01:42 You ministry is Restoration International. 01:46 And if you are a long-time viewer of 3ABN 01:52 you'll recognize the Waters, 01:53 they've been here many times, 01:55 but they did a program called Marriage in God's Hands. 01:59 And their advice is so practical. 02:01 They were so much fun to watch because... 02:04 And they had a big viewership. 02:05 They role played 02:06 and it just was relevant and practical. 02:11 And I'll tell you what? 02:12 Their ministry is blossoming 02:14 because so many people need help 02:17 with family situations 02:19 and marriage situations, right? 02:20 Amen. We all need some help. 02:23 Sometimes we just need a little tweaking. 02:25 Well, it's great to be here, be back with you folks. 02:27 Yes, it's really nice to be back again. 02:29 Delighted that you two 02:30 are doing our interview, so exciting. 02:33 I'm sure there'll be a lot of unplanned things. 02:36 And we love that spontaneity. 02:38 You know, with me, there always is. 02:40 And I know with you there is. Sure. 02:42 You know, I wanted to read a scripture 02:47 before we began and I asked Tom, 02:49 is there one that's particularly 02:51 a favorite to you? 02:53 And he said, yes, Psalm 32:8. 02:56 Let me read that, Psalm 32:8. 02:59 This is God speaking, 03:01 "I will instruct you 03:03 and teach you in the way you should go. 03:07 I will guide you with My eye." 03:10 That is a very intimate, 03:13 bonded relationship 03:16 when God can guide us with His eye 03:18 and what I have learned, 03:20 I often tell people 03:22 that I prayed for God's discipline 03:24 and they go, you know what? 03:27 If you are seeking God's discipline, 03:31 He speaks so softly to correct you. 03:33 That's right. 03:35 If you ignore it, He gets a little louder. 03:37 If you ignore it even more, 03:39 you know, why have to go all the way? 03:42 That's right. 03:43 Well, I know you all love music 03:45 and we have today one of our very own, 03:48 ET Everett, 03:49 and she is fabulous on the piano. 03:54 You want to talk about what this song is? 03:57 I will serve thee, 03:59 I think this is a favorite of all of us. 04:01 Yes. 08:08 Amen. Amen. 08:10 ET has such a beautiful heart for the Lord. 08:12 And she plays with sincerity, authenticity. 08:16 Let me put it that way. 08:17 If you're joining us just a little late, 08:19 our special guests today are Tom and Alane Waters. 08:23 And, boy, did they have an interesting history? 08:26 And I just want to jump into this for people 08:29 who've not seen you on 3ABN before. 08:32 Tell us a little bit about your years growing up, 08:35 what career you followed 08:37 and how God brought you around to the ministry. 08:43 I know you were the co-founder 08:44 and treasurer of Restoration International. 08:48 Yeah. Well, it's an exciting story. 08:50 And, it's not an easy story to put into, you know, 08:54 a couple of minutes, 08:55 but It's a life-changing story for sure. 08:58 I was raised on a farm, hardworking out in the country. 09:01 I loved it, bailed a lot of hay, 09:03 and that was great exercise. 09:05 And met my lovely wife at Hinsdale Hospital. 09:09 That's right. I grew up in suburbia. 09:11 My father was an Adventist pastor, 09:13 and so we moved quite a bit 09:15 and he was a denomination employed 09:17 for a number of years, 09:18 but I had a great strong foundation 09:21 in a Christian home 09:22 and in Christian education, which I'm very grateful for. 09:25 And as a little girl, I always wanted to be a nurse, 09:27 a missionary nurse. 09:28 So that was my sight and I never let that go. 09:31 And I took nursing and ended up at Hinsdale Hospital 09:34 and met this wonderful guy there. 09:36 And it's been 09:37 an exciting adventure since then. 09:39 Amen. Yeah. 09:41 I was raised in an Adventist home as well, 09:43 very thankful for that, 09:44 loving parents but we went into our careers. 09:47 I was in radiology, she was in nursing 09:50 and then God began to open our eyes as children came along 09:55 and we were very active in our church, 09:57 1300 member church there at Hinsdale Hospital. 10:00 And, you know, 10:02 I was Personal Ministries director. 10:03 We were, you know, 10:05 20% of the church or less does, you know... 10:08 Hundred percent of the work 10:09 Hundred percent of the work and 80% of the church 10:11 or more is just happy to let you do it. 10:14 So we were just flat out busy. We were in the 20%. 10:18 And our children came along and, you know, 10:21 God began to open our hearts that 10:23 I will instruct you 10:25 and teach you in the way that you should go. 10:27 We started, we had this discontent 10:29 and I now recognize that God put that in our hearts. 10:32 We had this, something's not right here. 10:35 Something is missing. 10:36 We were doing everything for everybody. 10:39 And we were starting to recognize 10:41 it's not happening in our marriage. 10:42 What about the gospel in my marriage? 10:45 What about the evangelism in my family? 10:48 And God just began to open our eyes. 10:51 And it took us on a journey to the mountains of Montana. 10:54 Some people thought we were absolutely crazy. 10:58 We were radical. Okay. 11:00 But I praise God for that 11:02 because that radical decision 11:04 where God instructed us 11:06 and teach us and taught us 11:07 is what really began to change our lives. 11:09 So when you say a journey, you actually moved to Montana. 11:12 Yes. 11:13 And you gave up your careers 11:16 and co-founded Restoration International. 11:18 Yes. 11:19 What is Restoration International? 11:21 And we didn't plan on all that happening. 11:22 We just wanted to secure our family. 11:24 This is how God, 11:26 the ministry began to grow out of that experience. 11:29 And how many children are we talking about? 11:30 We had three children at that time, total of three. 11:32 Total of three. 11:33 Our oldest daughter, 11:35 Alison was five years old on the trip out to Montana. 11:37 And our youngest was just an infant. 11:40 It was quite a big step for us. 11:42 Amen Sure. 11:44 People were saying, why are you doing this? 11:46 Why are you leaving the security of your careers? 11:49 You're just, you're making lots of money 11:52 and we said, we can't explain all of this. 11:56 But what we can tell you is that 11:58 we know we are doing 11:59 the will of God in making this decision. 12:02 Well, what was most important to us 12:03 is to know that 12:04 our children would be prepared for eternal life. 12:06 Amen. 12:07 And the realization of that shocked us one Friday night, 12:11 when my husband said to me, 12:12 what's the most important thing you can accomplish? 12:14 Well, I just finished 12:15 my bachelor's degree in nursing. 12:17 I was heading for my next level 12:19 and I was in charge of a critical care unit. 12:21 So that's where my mind was focused. 12:24 I was career oriented 12:25 and God sent our children ahead of our schedule. 12:28 So God always has a purpose and a plan for our lives. 12:31 And we're thankful 12:33 because those are the ones is what began to wake us up. 12:36 And when he asked me that question that night, 12:37 I said to see our children in the kingdom of God. 12:41 It was like, it was a new revelation. 12:43 Of course, every Christian parent 12:44 wants that, but we don't keep that 12:46 on the forefront of our thoughts. 12:48 And I was actually shocked 12:49 to hear her say that at that time, 12:51 if you could have been in our home. 12:53 I thought she was going on 12:54 for her next credentials in her master's degree. 12:57 And when she said that, 12:59 I literally was taken back and I thought, wow. 13:03 And I said to her, after I paused, 13:06 I said, "If that's going to happen, 13:10 something has to change." 13:14 And that something begins with us. 13:16 And that night I got chills going down my spine. 13:19 That night, we took our little ones 13:21 at the time that was... 13:22 Just the two girls. 13:23 The two girls in their little footie pajamas. 13:26 And we put them between us and we held each other. 13:30 And I prayed a prayer of commitment 13:32 that I will never forget that night, 13:35 that quiet Friday evening by the fireplace. 13:37 I said, "Lord, I will go anywhere 13:40 You want me to go. 13:41 I will do anything you want me to do 13:43 to hear those words, 13:45 well done, thou good and faithful servant 13:48 and see the crown of life placed 13:50 upon the heads of our children." 13:52 And we have never turned back from that day. 13:55 You know, I always say that 13:57 the most important thing a parent can do 14:00 is to teach their child to have a loving relationship 14:03 with the Lord and to understand His love. 14:07 And, you know, when you become a parent, 14:09 that's a full-time ministry. 14:10 People just don't realize that. That's right. 14:12 But you made this bold radical move 14:15 because obviously God's hand was on you. 14:19 He was calling you. 14:21 How long after you got to Montana, tell us how 14:24 Restoration International came up? 14:26 Yeah, so we were there. 14:28 We went out in '86, 1986, 14:31 and the ministry officially began in 1989, 14:36 but we were starting to do ministry 14:38 and one of the amazing things 14:40 was that people from back in Hinsdale 14:43 were calling us and saying, 14:45 what's different about you guys. 14:47 Things are changing and things were changing. 14:49 God was doing amazing things in our lives 14:52 through amazing trials. 14:54 Okay. 14:56 Not through a soft pink, fluffy blanket. 14:59 He was taking us through trials. 15:00 And I said to my wife, 15:02 "Praise God, we didn't know 15:03 what we were going to go through in Montana." 15:05 That's right. 15:07 But it was exactly what we needed. 15:09 And as a result, I think over 10 families 15:12 that we know within about five years 15:14 of that took their families out 15:17 to move to a quieter location 15:19 and their lives began to really change as well. 15:21 Because the life that we live in, 15:23 in suburbia is just so consumed, right? 15:25 Yes. 15:27 And certainly now where we are in today's culture 15:29 with the devices that are there, 15:31 people live on those things. 15:33 It's not their family anymore. 15:35 It's the device that occupies the time. 15:38 And so, we didn't understand all the God had ahead for us, 15:43 but what we understood is that our first 15:45 and primary focus needed to be 15:48 the spiritual nurturing of our family. 15:51 And this needs to be happening now 15:53 because society isn't getting better, 15:55 it's getting worse. 15:56 And we can't be casual about our relationship with God. 15:59 We have to be intentional. Amen. 16:01 Well, obviously 16:03 this was a perfect timing for you 16:05 to even come up with a question like that. 16:08 What's the most important thing to you? 16:10 And what I have learned slowly learning 16:13 is that we all want to be heard. 16:16 Once we hear something, 16:17 we may think it process information inside, 16:21 but we never have really got to say anything. 16:24 And the minute that we say, man, 16:25 we got to really quickly evaluate and decide 16:29 whether we're going to take this a step further 16:31 and you heard... 16:33 Well, we heard. And you processed. 16:34 We heard, but I can tell you this, 16:37 in the 31 years plus of ministry, 16:40 from the very beginning, 16:42 we never attempted to have a ministry. 16:46 God put it on us. 16:47 We have never once in all these years, 16:49 we have nearly 2 million miles on Delta Airlines. 16:52 Just that one airline, never would have imagined 16:56 ever of the scope of a simple little ministry, 17:00 but God has generated every call. 17:03 That's right. Every call. 17:05 And I think that's what He does. 17:06 You know, what you guys did was recognized here, 17:09 you are so busy in your church 17:11 and they're doing all of this for everyone else. 17:13 But ministry begins at home. That's right. 17:16 I mean the practical, 17:18 the practicality of the gospel 17:20 and evangelizing begins at home. 17:22 So, so you are now living that out in our life 17:26 and let's talk about, 17:28 because you do marriage counseling. 17:30 Tell me some of the things that you all do? 17:33 Well, we're focused on the family as a broad, 17:36 the broad area. 17:38 And obviously to have a strong family, 17:39 we have to have an individual strong relationship with God. 17:43 And so for us, and the turning point for us 17:45 back in Hinsdale was not wait 17:47 till we get somewhere to start something different. 17:51 We had to begin where we were in our current environment. 17:54 And that was a struggle, right? 17:55 Because there's so much going on. 17:57 And we just want to encourage all of our listeners that 18:01 we need to have that personal relationship 18:04 with Jesus Christ first, taking time with Him daily. 18:07 And then in the marriage, 18:08 if we're going to have a strong family, 18:10 we have to have a strong marriage. 18:12 One that's united, one that's happy, 18:14 one that's functioning in the board of God. 18:17 And by the principles of God's word 18:19 and the love, you know, 18:21 just abounds from the relationship. 18:24 And then the children have security in the home 18:27 and they then have a picture of what God is that 18:31 they want that picture in their life. 18:33 Amen and amen. 18:34 So it's, you do marriage counseling 18:38 and you have marriage seminars, 18:40 you have podcasts, you have, 18:41 we're going to put up their address here at the end. 18:45 So you can know how to get in touch 18:47 with Tom and Alane. 18:48 But you do family seminars, you do family camp meetings. 18:54 What is different? 18:57 All I can say, what I've always enjoyed 19:00 about your marriage 19:01 when you did the marriage program here, 19:03 the marriage counseling is, 19:04 as I said, very relevant, very practical. 19:07 What's unique about the way 19:09 you do your marriage encounters? 19:12 Yeah. 19:14 So the marriage retreats that we do, 19:16 they're developed based on the group of people 19:18 that's coming and we've done. 19:20 So it's not cookie cutter. It's not cookie cutter. 19:22 We've done, you know, marriage retreats 19:24 for other conferences and things, 19:26 which are great, you know, larger groups, 19:27 but ours is usually 20 couples or less. 19:31 So it stays more intimate 19:33 and every individual in those marriages anonymously 19:36 fills out a survey. 19:38 So husband doesn't know what wife writes on there. 19:39 You don't know what your wife put, 19:41 because that can be influencing you in. 19:43 We want raw honest answers. 19:45 So they don't do it together 19:47 and they send it in anonymously. 19:49 And then we tailor that marriage retreat 19:53 for that group of people. 19:54 How exciting. 19:55 And the one we just did in February, 19:57 we always do it at the weekend before Valentine's in February. 20:01 And we do them in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. 20:04 And this one, I mean, 20:06 it was our favorite of all time. 20:09 I mean, they've all been great, 20:10 but the Holy Spirit was working in such a mighty way. 20:14 And I think it was partly because people have been 20:15 locked down with COVID and now they're free. 20:19 They can come sort of free, 20:21 but I mean, they're getting together. 20:22 They're not doing a thing on Zoom. 20:24 They're doing a thing in person. 20:26 And that group of people just came alive. 20:28 The Holy Spirit worked in such a powerful way, 20:33 almost every marriage retreat we've had at least one, couple. 20:37 We had a couple last year that they came to the retreat. 20:42 They actually came to the church 20:45 where we were doing a seminar. 20:46 I just have to throw this in here 20:48 because this is a beautiful story 20:49 of how God works. 20:50 They were coming to meet some friends at the church. 20:54 They were going to, 20:55 they weren't planning on coming to church. 20:57 They didn't know they were having a special program. 20:58 They didn't know we were there 20:59 doing a special marriage seminar. 21:01 They came in, 21:02 they were going to get divorced on Monday morning. 21:05 They had their paperwork all drawn up. 21:08 They came and they came to meet their friends 21:11 and they stayed for one of our meetings 21:14 and then decided to stay for the afternoon. 21:17 That night at midnight, 21:18 that guy got online and signed up 21:22 for our marriage retreat in Pigeon Forge. 21:24 Next morning, he said to his wife, 21:26 "We're going to that marriage retreat 21:28 at Pigeon Forge." 21:29 And she says, "We're what? 21:31 We're not going to now marriage retreat. 21:33 We're getting divorced on Monday morning." 21:36 He said, "We're going." 21:38 He said, "We'd been married long enough that 21:41 we've got to put something into our marriage. 21:43 Let's give it one more try." 21:46 They came there and they're living 21:47 by God's grace, happily ever after. 21:49 It was so interesting to see, you know, 21:52 the body language, right? 21:55 I mean, they couldn't have been any further apart if they had. 21:58 But we have tables for two and they're small. 22:00 So you have to kind of sit cozy, right? 22:02 As the weekend went on, they got closer and closer 22:06 and you could just see their love, 22:07 be re, you know, ignited again. 22:10 And I think that's, what's really beautiful. 22:11 We have a picture from the marriage retreat. 22:14 It's called unbroken, 22:15 that's our marriage theme is unbroken 22:18 and maybe they can put that 22:19 picture on the screen as we talk about that. 22:21 That's the podcast. 22:22 That's the podcast the unmarriage, 22:25 the unbroken marriage retreat has a picture 22:28 of our whole group with their t-shirts. 22:30 Okay. Let's go ahead and run. 22:32 Why don't we just run through your pictures and let people... 22:33 Okay. 22:34 So this is the marriage retreat. 22:38 The t-shirts all say unbroken, that's the theme. 22:41 That's also the theme of our podcast, 22:44 which we'll talk about, 22:45 but this is the most recent one. 22:48 And we would just encourage, we only take 20 couples, 22:52 but if the demand grows, we'll do two. 22:55 Amen. That's right. 22:56 I think you have a few more pictures. 22:58 Why don't we just go ahead 22:59 and run through the pictures right now 23:01 through all of them 23:02 and kind of have an idea of what to do. 23:04 This is family seminar. 23:06 This is our family retreat. 23:08 This is the Indiana location. 23:10 We do four of those each year 23:11 where the family comes for four days 23:14 and everybody hears the same thing. 23:16 We don't divide kids meetings, adult meetings. 23:20 We do have special features in those retreats, 23:23 but it's the family hears the same message. 23:25 So family can grow together. 23:27 So what I mean, kind of give us some examples, 23:30 or when you say the families hearing the same message? 23:33 The kids are in the audience 23:34 and we're talking on the subject of marriage. 23:36 Exactly. 23:37 And then when we're talking about parenting, 23:39 the whole family is there. 23:40 Okay. 23:41 We do family recreation time, 23:43 which is for a lot of these young people. 23:44 There is a picture of that, family recreation. 23:45 It's the highlight. 23:47 And it's, it breaks our heart sometimes 23:48 because children will come to us 23:50 over the years and they will say, 23:52 "I love coming to family retreat. 23:54 It's the only time mommy and daddy play with me." 23:58 They're so busy. 23:59 And so, one of the amazing things 24:00 is that the children 24:03 are actually pushing their parents 24:06 to come to family retreat 24:08 because it's family time 24:10 and it's family fun time that they can do 24:12 at the same time with mom and dad. 24:13 Yes. 24:15 And you know, that's, that people sometimes, 24:19 what is it that you talk about the straw 24:21 when you tell guys... 24:23 Men are often quite surprised that JD will tell them that, 24:28 you know, women sometimes will let things pile up 24:32 and then one day there's the straw 24:34 that broke the camel's back and that's it. 24:37 And it's hard to put it back together. 24:39 When should a family, 24:41 when should a couple, 24:43 at what point should they reach out? 24:45 Yeah. 24:46 So, Shelley, when you said that 24:47 it reminded me of, 24:49 I wish I could say it only happened once, 24:50 but it's happened numerous times. 24:52 Over the years, I got a call from a guy 24:55 and he was, I mean, I could just hear his voice. 24:58 He was broken. 24:59 He was on the verge of tears and he's sad, 25:04 and we had no appointment or anything. 25:05 He just had my number 25:07 and called me that doesn't always work either. 25:09 But he called me and he said, I came home 25:13 and there's a note on my kitchen table. 25:16 Most of the furniture is gone. 25:18 My wife says she's done with me. 25:20 She's put up with it for too long. 25:23 She can't cope any longer. She's gone. 25:25 The house is basically empty. And I said, "I'm so sorry. 25:30 And you probably don't even have a clue 25:32 why it happened." 25:34 And he paused and he said, "You're right, I don't. 25:37 I've been living this way. 25:39 I'm the same as I was five years ago." 25:40 And I said, 25:42 "That's a big reason right there, 25:44 because your wife has been giving you." 25:45 And I said, "I don't know your personal situation, 25:48 but let me tell you that your wife 25:50 has told you over and over again 25:52 the things that she needs, the thing she desires from you 25:55 and longs for you to experience." 25:58 And you've just done business as usual. 26:00 And then he broke down and the floodgates opened 26:02 and he just cried and he says, "That's absolutely. 26:04 How did you know that?" 26:05 I said, because we guys, 26:07 I said, "I'm one of them, we're clueless." 26:11 And I said, "Our wives, they give us, 26:14 yeah, a lot of cryptic messages, 26:15 a lot of coded messages, but it gets to the point 26:18 where they're just saying, please, I need time with you. 26:21 I need for you to hear me and listen to me. 26:24 And I need you to spend time with our children. 26:27 And we mean to do it, but we don't get around. 26:30 And I said, "Here you are, you're in a very tough place, 26:34 but it's not too late." 26:36 And I've heard this over and over 26:38 is because people are not taking the time 26:41 to invest in their families. 26:43 They're investing in everything else. 26:44 Amen. 26:46 And both sides come to a place where they, in their own minds, 26:51 they can justify their positions, 26:53 but they are clueless. 26:54 Yeah. 26:56 And they go into their own corners. 26:57 Yeah. Yeah. 26:59 And you know, you said that there's several thoughts 27:00 running through my mind at the same time. 27:01 And number one is women don't ever think 27:05 that you can give your husband a hint. 27:07 Men are clueless. 27:08 They don't get at our hints very well at all. 27:11 Just say it straight, right? Just say it straight. 27:13 Because you know, I tell people when it comes 27:16 to our relationship with the Lord, 27:18 communication is the relationship. 27:21 It's about praying with God. 27:23 It's about listening to His word, 27:25 but it's the same in a marriage relationship. 27:28 Our words define us. 27:30 And communication is the relationship. 27:33 If you're not communicating well 27:35 with your spouse or and you know, 27:37 sometimes it's like, when you say, 27:39 well, honey, I need you to do this with me. 27:41 Or I sure would appreciate this or something. 27:43 And if they don't pick up on it, 27:45 sometimes you just got to put your fist down and say, 27:48 hey, we got to do something differently. 27:49 And that's what I know everybody including us 27:53 would benefit from coming to your seminar. 27:55 Well, we've certainly benefited 27:58 because we had a pretty rough two years, 27:59 our first two years of marriage, 28:01 those that have heard the series Marriage 28:04 in God's Hands will know, because we're very vulnerable. 28:07 And our first few years were tough and, 28:10 you know, God is gracious, but we're learners. 28:13 That's right. They were rough. 28:16 And we, it's not that we've been, 28:17 got it all down. 28:18 I mean, we learn every time. 28:21 When we're preparing for those marriage retreats 28:23 or any marriage message, we are also learning. 28:26 We're taking our marriage to a new level, right? 28:28 A depth of foundation in God's Word, 28:31 a depth of surrender of self. 28:33 You know, we've often heard marriage is 50-50. 28:36 It's absolutely cannot be 50-50 28:38 because you're going to end up in divorce. 28:40 Marriage has to be all. 28:42 I give a 100% for every one of you viewers 28:45 you have to give a 100%. 28:47 Your spouse gives a 100%. 28:49 God gave a 100%. 28:51 We give a 100% back and what do we have? 28:53 A beautiful relationship. 28:54 And that's the way it is in marriage. 28:56 It's both giving everything 28:58 and investing all in this circle of love 29:01 in the marriage. 29:02 Amen. I'm just going to take it. 29:05 Let's put the pause button on. 29:07 We're going to come back and tell you the rest of their, 29:10 what goes on at their retreats in their ministry. 29:13 But one thing that I hear so much is, 29:17 and you mentioned that, 29:19 you touched on it, Alane, 29:20 and that is people, 29:23 the devices that we have nowadays, 29:26 it seems that people spend, 29:29 married couples spend more time on their devices 29:31 than they do communicating with their spouse. 29:35 What? How do you... 29:38 How does somebody become aware of that? 29:41 When you know, you're artificially connected 29:43 to everybody in the world 29:44 and feel like you're doing great things, 29:46 but you're leaving your spouse just sitting silent. 29:51 How do you wake people up to that? 29:54 Yeah, it's a challenge 29:55 because you've got to get their attention first. 29:58 And unfortunately, it's some of the hard things 30:01 and some of you out there 30:03 that are watching have probably experienced this 30:05 sometimes getting the attention. 30:08 I say, God needs to get our attention first. 30:11 Okay. 30:12 And I tell people, I tell men, 30:15 especially we need our connection with God, 30:19 without that we will have no saving connection 30:22 to any other human being. 30:24 And if we don't take that time and I also tell couples, I say, 30:29 the more specifically we pray, 30:31 and this is something that I do. 30:32 And that's why I share this. 30:34 The more specifically we pray, 30:36 the more specifically God answers. 30:40 And the more specifically we know 30:42 his personal love towards each one of us. 30:46 Praying specifically revitalizes 30:49 our relationship with God. 30:51 Give us an example, 30:52 somebody be saying, what does he mean? 30:54 The very first time that 30:55 I really started understanding this was, was back, 30:58 way back in our early years of Montana. 31:00 And I had, I never thought I ever had an anger issue. 31:02 Okay. 31:04 The only time I thought I had an anger issue. 31:05 Didn't ask me, but... 31:08 So and I, 31:09 and when it really came to my heart 31:11 and I started understanding that I do. 31:13 I said, "Lord, the problem is that by the time 31:17 I get a message from you that I understand 31:20 I'm already on the slippery slide 31:21 and I'm on my way out. 31:23 And it's too hard to stop going down." 31:25 So I said, "Lord, will You do this for me? 31:27 Will You remind me? 31:29 Because You said that You love me 31:30 with everlasting love. 31:32 Will You remind me 31:33 before I get on that slippery slide, 31:36 remind me that I'm heading there." 31:38 And I tell you, God is faithful 31:41 and He will never leave us or forsake us. 31:44 He reminded me and the very first time 31:46 He reminded me. 31:48 I was so self-assured and that's the problem 31:51 with any of our selfishness, okay. 31:54 I'm underneath a sink in our house, 31:56 working under there. 31:58 The sink was leaking under there. 32:00 That's, you know what that feels like. 32:01 Baby drop. 32:02 I tell you, it's a place where self can rise. 32:05 And the Lord called to me. I'm under there. 32:07 Nothing's going wrong and the Lord called to me. 32:11 He says it's starting to happen. 32:13 That still small voice called to my heart. 32:16 And I immediately argued with Him. 32:18 I said, "There's nothing happening." 32:19 Okay. 32:21 I mean, this, everybody can relate to this, okay, 32:23 if we really a relationship. 32:24 We justify ourselves, right? 32:26 We rationalize, this is... 32:27 What did I ask Him to do? 32:28 I specifically asked Him to remind me 32:30 before I get on the slippery slide. 32:32 So I got out from under the sink. 32:35 I raised up and I hit my head 32:36 on the cupboard that was open above me. 32:38 Wait a minute that he left open by the way, 32:41 which I was so glad it wasn't me that left it open 32:43 because that could have opened the floodgates. 32:46 I hit my head so hard on that cupboard. 32:47 I said, "I got it, Lord. 32:51 Thank you." 32:52 From that day forward, 32:53 I started paying attention to that prayer 32:56 and how God was going to answer it. 32:58 And it had, it has revolutionized 33:00 that part of my life. 33:02 And so I do this on everything. 33:03 If I told you all the specific prayers 33:05 I pray in the morning, I praise the Lord. 33:07 I say, Lord, please remember your promise in Genesis 3:15, 33:11 that You will put enmity between me and the devil, 33:14 enmity between my selfish soul and the soul 33:17 that You're trying to make me 33:19 into the man You want me to be. 33:20 And He never fails us. 33:23 That's a good word for people here. 33:25 Absolutely 33:26 Here's one of the challenges we have. 33:28 We think if we pray, God's just going to do it. 33:30 So the anger issue goes away because I prayed about that, 33:33 for me, it was impatience. 33:34 My impatience is going to go away 33:36 because I prayed about it. 33:37 But you know, the more I prayed, 33:38 the worst I got. 33:40 And I was so frustrated and I was so discouraged. 33:43 And I said, "God, I don't want to be impatient 33:44 with these little ones. 33:46 I want to be patient with them. 33:47 I don't want to lose my cool with them." 33:49 Because I also homeschool. 33:50 That was another big reason we moved. 33:52 We wanted to be able to educate our children 33:55 in every aspect of life. 33:56 We couldn't do it and it was only legal 33:58 in four states back in those days. 34:00 Yeah. Wow. 34:01 So that's what drove us or moved us to the Northwest. 34:04 So I really wanted to be a patient teacher 34:07 and I wasn't. 34:09 So I prayed earnestly. 34:11 And the problem was is that 34:12 I thought God was going to take this out of me. 34:15 Just wave some kind of magic dust over you. 34:17 But what God does is He, if we want something, 34:20 He gives us the circumstances 34:21 to develop that character trait. 34:24 This is the true gospel. 34:26 It is not that God just comes in 34:28 and takes out all the bad and fills it up with the good, 34:31 we have to choose choice by choice, 34:33 circumstance by circumstance. 34:35 Once I understood that, 34:37 it was like his revelation for me, 34:40 if, when I started to feel that impatience, 34:41 that intensity that for whatever. 34:43 And it always starts in a physical manifestation. 34:45 You can feel yourself rising. 34:47 Okay, God, right now I understand You are calling me 34:51 to let You have handle this and I can step back 34:55 and You give me the words to speak. 34:56 You give me the countenance to have, 34:58 and You give me the attitude 35:00 by which I can redeem the heart of my child 35:03 rather than just going in 35:04 and becoming impatient, frustrated. 35:06 Yeah. 35:07 And, Alane, that resonates with me so much. 35:09 When we first got married, 35:10 I prayed, oh Lord, let me be a scriptural wife. 35:13 Put a guard at the door post of my lips. 35:16 Don't let me try to be his God. 35:18 And you know, I can't tell you how many times 35:22 I've met my tongue inside of my cheek. 35:24 I was like, okay, Lord. 35:26 And the other night, this is amazing. 35:29 After all these years, the other night something, 35:31 I already know it was on a Sabbath morning 35:33 and I wasn't going to church. 35:35 I was in a lot of pain. 35:36 He was getting ready for church. 35:37 And I said, 35:39 "Oh, you've got to watch this, honey." 35:41 And he said, I forgot 35:42 he was getting ready for church. 35:44 I wasn't paying attention to the time. 35:45 Long story short, JD sat down and I heard this kind of, 35:51 and then I realized he's doing this 35:53 just to please me. 35:55 I'm being controlling like a mother, come watch this. 35:58 And so we all constantly have to rely on the Lord 36:04 because you know, 36:06 we are selfish little creatures that want our ways. 36:09 Sometimes we just think, 36:12 you know, oh, honey taste this, it's so good. 36:14 No, I don't want it. Oh, please taste it. 36:16 It's like why we care. All right. 36:20 So let's go through the rest of the pictures. 36:22 You've got the marriage seminars. 36:24 You have the family's seminars and what's this? 36:29 This is the theme 36:31 for the 2021 family retreat this year, 36:33 it's called Beyond Belief. 36:35 You notice that we're all on this side of the chasm. 36:38 And the cross is there to take us beyond belief. 36:41 What we have, 36:43 what we're trying to encourage people to do. 36:44 We are living in a time that we have, 36:47 we can't be content 36:48 with just having biblical knowledge 36:50 or going to the right church or having biblical principles. 36:54 But we have to live those 36:55 by the grace of God every day in our lives. 36:58 We have to take up that cross with Jesus across that chasm 37:03 and live beyond beliefs. 37:05 In other words, our beliefs become a part of who we are, 37:09 so that when we get into circumstances, 37:11 which are uncomfortable, inconvenient, undesired, 37:14 we don't have to go down the human path. 37:16 We can take, keep hold of the divine, 37:18 and have a divine response to those things. 37:20 Amen. Amen. 37:22 We are so excited about this topic this year, 37:26 this theme because this is, we really are in the time. 37:30 Of course, we're always in this time, 37:32 but right now we feel such intensity 37:34 and such a burden that 37:36 it is time for us to go beyond the way 37:40 we just take our beliefs. 37:42 And we just have our way of doing religion. 37:47 Okay. Yeah. 37:49 When we look at the experience of Job, 37:52 it is unbelievable to us, beyond belief that 37:55 this man could go through all that he went through, 37:58 losing everything he had, including the support 38:04 and respect of his own wife. 38:05 Yes. Everything was gone. 38:07 And that man said, though, 38:10 he slay me yet will I trust in Him? 38:14 That is beyond belief. 38:16 We are going to go through things. 38:19 We're already going through things. 38:21 So if we can't go beyond belief 38:22 in our relationship to our spouse, 38:24 when she crosses my will. 38:26 Me crossing your will, babes. 38:27 Could that be possible? 38:30 If we can't go beyond that, if we can't rise 38:32 and go beyond our belief that I don't need to get upset, 38:36 we need to go beyond that. 38:37 By faith, we need to go beyond that. 38:40 And God has a lot of training left for each one of us. 38:43 That's right. 38:44 I just want to hit on something personal, 38:46 because I know you all are so vulnerable. 38:48 And what I mean by vulnerable 38:50 is we all four of us sitting here. 38:53 Transparent. 38:55 Believe transparent is the word I'm using. 38:57 We believe that being vulnerable 38:59 by being transparent is the best way to minister. 39:03 You have four children? Three children. 39:07 I mean three children, seven grandkids. 39:10 What happened in, 39:11 did all of your kids just follow suit and say, 39:15 "Yay God, I'm on fire for the Lord." 39:19 Yes, go ahead They all love God. 39:22 But we did have a detour with our youngest, 39:24 our son, he wanted to be a pilot. 39:28 And we sent him to an aviation program 39:31 and he excelled remarkably. 39:34 And when he got into that arena. 39:38 Corporate aviation to be specific. 39:39 Yes. 39:41 And he started his own business and he was hiring pilots 39:44 because he's too young to be the captain, 39:46 he had to be the first officer. 39:48 So he's hiring retired, airline pilots to fly the jets. 39:51 So the flying jets for business people 39:53 and things like that. 39:54 It was just a totally different culture 39:56 than what he came out of. 39:57 And, of course, there's a lot of lure, right? 40:00 The Bible says the love of money, 40:02 the love of money is the root of all evil. 40:04 It is what money can do for self, right? 40:07 But anyway, he had a detour and it was very heartbreaking. 40:10 And, you want to add to that? 40:13 Well, we're just thankful that he's, 40:15 he's back with the Lord and we never doubted. 40:19 And he said to us, I knew that you never stopped loving me. 40:24 I knew that you would never give up on me. 40:26 Amen. 40:27 And I knew that one day I would come back to the Lord. 40:32 Praise God. He knew that. 40:34 Yes, he knew that deep in his heart. 40:35 And I can tell you, I mean, this is very vulnerable. 40:39 One night, he called me 40:41 and we spent it's the longest phone call 40:42 I've ever had six and a half hours 40:45 I was on the phone with my son 40:46 from midnight till 6:30 in the morning. 40:49 And in that phone call, he was, you know, he said, 40:53 "I'm just trembling right now, father, I'm trembling." 40:57 He said, "Because I know that you're right. 41:00 I know that you are right. 41:02 And you have been an anchor for me. 41:03 You have never given up on me. You have never... 41:06 I know that what I'm doing is all wrong. 41:08 And I feel guilty and all this stuff." 41:10 But earlier in that phone call, 41:13 he had tried to get me to lighten up, you know, 41:17 why don't we just go out and, you know, 41:19 just have some fun, you know, have a drink in. 41:22 Of course, I had some of my own history back there, 41:24 I went off the rails for a couple of years. 41:27 And he said, he knew my story. He knew some of it. 41:30 And he says, "Come on, father, just lighten up. 41:32 Let's just do something fun. 41:35 Just, you know, relax a little bit." 41:37 And I said, "Son, if I relaxed for you, 41:40 the way you're talking about, right now, 41:41 you lose respect for me. 41:43 I want to be an anchor for you. 41:45 I know what you need." 41:47 He has said to us, you've been an anchor. 41:50 You never gave up on me. 41:51 You never stopped believing in me. 41:53 These are things we now can tell parents 41:55 with wholeheartedly that if you have a son or daughter 41:59 that loses their way, please don't give up on them. 42:03 That's right. Please don't let them go. 42:06 We don't have to compromise and go along with them, 42:09 but we can't let them go. 42:11 Because God says to us, 42:13 Jesus says, "I will never leave you 42:14 or forsake you." 42:16 And we're on the other side of that. 42:18 We praise God for that. Amen. 42:19 God is always pursuing us 42:21 and God never stopped pursuing our son. 42:23 And so we as parents stand in behalf of our son, 42:27 praying for God's intervention in his life. 42:29 And we do that with all of our children. 42:31 We're doing that with our grandchildren. 42:33 And that's the type of praying that we need to do. 42:36 God is there. 42:37 And we've seen some incredible situations 42:41 our son has come through that God has spared his life 42:44 because God wasn't done with him 42:45 and God is pursuing every one of us. 42:47 So let's not, you know, 42:49 step back and be afraid of that. 42:50 He's pursuing us because He loves us. 42:52 And He is pursing those who have been 42:54 in the church for 50 years 42:55 because He wants to get us beyond just mental thing, 43:01 beyond that kind of belief into, 43:04 you know, I always say, 43:05 "Believing in Christ is to be living in Christ." 43:09 That's right. 43:10 So we've got to get beyond that. 43:12 You know, it's kind of a one thing 43:13 that I keep, I love what you're saying, 43:17 but what are these bottles here? 43:21 I mean, you would think that 43:24 they'd be the same color anyway, but... 43:27 So this is part of our lifestyle brand, 43:28 live restored. 43:30 Really? 43:31 So the ministry is Restoration International. 43:33 The desires that God wants us to live restored. 43:35 Live restored. 43:36 That relationship that we want to have in heaven 43:38 has to begin here on earth. 43:41 And so, this is just a reminder we can live restored in God. 43:44 And, of course, it's filled with the water, right? 43:46 The living water. Amen. 43:48 So we have, we actually, 43:50 if people go to the website and you'll be shown that later. 43:53 If you go to the website, you can, 43:55 we have a lifestyle brand. 43:57 We've got a place that 43:58 there's various different products 44:00 t-shirts and different things. 44:01 I think we got a picture of the t-shirt 44:03 and we'll just go through that. 44:04 I think, what do we? 44:06 A couple more pictures we want to go through. 44:07 Yeah. 44:08 I think there's the live restored t-shirt. 44:10 All right. It's just a nice reminder. 44:11 And who is this couple? 44:12 This is one of our retreat couples, 44:14 the Carriers, they're Indiana family retreat 44:16 for the host. 44:17 They're the host family. And they volunteer to do this. 44:19 Absolutely. 44:21 So they came to your retreats, saw it. 44:23 Yes. 44:25 And when they had little ones and now they're, 44:28 their young people are in their double digits, 44:29 they're teenagers and they just, 44:32 they have just been a tremendous blessing. 44:34 All through the years God has blessed us 44:36 with people who have the same passion, 44:39 caught the vision, started the journey 44:41 and they step up, what can we do to help? 44:44 But see, this is what I like about what you do at 44:46 Restoration International is it's not just theory. 44:51 Its people have walked through the experience 44:55 so they can get up and be transparent, 44:59 be vulnerable because you know none of us are any different. 45:04 God has to work with each one of us the same way. 45:08 We're not just 45:09 because you're on television or you lead this, 45:12 you know, as you said, 45:13 you're still learning, well, I'm still learning. 45:16 And I would imagine that probably 45:19 all that have a good, 45:20 good seed was sown early in their life. 45:22 I imagine that they're sitting because of the condemnation 45:25 that they're feeling, I want to get out of this. 45:30 And so it takes six hours, 45:32 eight hours, the rest of your life, 45:34 you know, you've got your hand extended down to him 45:36 and he's got his extended up to you. 45:38 And so that's, 45:40 this is what I'm seeing right here 45:42 with these team host. 45:46 So they're part of the program 45:50 and that they've been healed in some way or the other. 45:53 And because whenever I was young, 45:56 we used to always say 45:57 I was vaccinated and it took, this goes way back then. 46:01 I don't even, forgive me for even bringing that up. 46:05 That's a hot topic. 46:06 And I was thinking about something in a subtle way. 46:08 But anyway, there is, 46:11 we all want to be vaccinated with Jesus Christ. 46:15 Some take and some doesn't take, okay. 46:18 And it's not on His part. It's not on His part. 46:20 It just may mean that you need to be revaccinated. 46:22 Okay. 46:24 Well, the amazing thing is we have people come 46:26 who have no background in Christianity at all. 46:29 Absolutely. 46:31 But just like 3ABN ministers to people, 46:33 people find that channel, right? 46:35 And they hear something that draws them. 46:37 People hear something in the podcast 46:40 that we do that draw them, unbroken podcast on marriage. 46:44 And they then start tuning in and they then learn about Jesus 46:50 because He's the central figure of our ministry. 46:52 He is the foundation of this ministry. 46:55 And so... 46:56 Building a house on the rocks. That's right. 46:58 It doesn't matter where we've come from. 47:00 We all have a Redeemer 47:02 who wants to get us to our eternal home. 47:04 He says, "I will that none should be lost, 47:07 but that all may come and have eternal life." 47:09 All right. 47:10 So the podcast is unbroken, and how do they? 47:14 Yeah, can we talk about that? 47:15 Sure, please. Yeah. 47:17 The podcast for those of you out there that don't know, 47:19 we have the unbroken podcast, 47:21 it's there on the screen right now, and that was... 47:24 Can they sign up, tell them quickly? 47:25 So that, that podcast, you can go to our website. 47:29 It's there. 47:30 You can download any of the episodes. 47:32 We're in season three right now. 47:33 So they can go to the website if they've got internet, 47:37 it's rionline.org. 47:40 Ri... Online. 47:42 And RI stands for Restoration International, online.org. 47:47 And they can go there 47:48 and they can click on any of the podcasts. 47:49 This is season three. 47:51 And if they like to get it on their phones, 47:54 that we've got it there for you can load it on 47:57 an Android or on an Apple device. 47:59 It's just any way they want to listen to it. 48:01 The nice thing about podcast is that as you know, 48:03 if you listen to podcast, 48:05 you can listen to it anytime you want to, 48:06 anywhere you are, you can just start playing it. 48:09 But that podcast has grown incredibly. 48:13 This is something we never expected. 48:15 Actually, our son Josiah 48:17 encouraged us to do the podcast. 48:19 And I almost said, what is a podcast? 48:22 But I did know what a podcast was, 48:23 but I'd never heard a podcast. 48:25 He said you need to have a podcast. 48:28 You'll have more than 5,000 listeners 48:30 by the end of the first year. 48:32 I said, Josiah, we're a little ministry. 48:34 Okay. 48:36 We're over 30,000 now, 35,000 48:40 that's just God, that's God. 48:42 And because it's practical. 48:44 It's dealing with real issues in marriage. 48:47 We have guest couples come on there. 48:48 Sharing their story. 48:49 Sharing their incredible experiences. 48:51 Everything from addictions to gambling, 48:55 other, you know, drug addictions 48:57 to infidelity in marriage to, 49:00 they don't have all those big issues, 49:01 but they have other issues. 49:03 So there's just a vast array. 49:04 And what we've found is that most people, 49:06 when they come in, 49:07 because the podcasts are 15 to 18 minutes, 49:09 roughly each one. 49:11 Most of the people who come on to listen, 49:14 they're on, they're listening for 45 minutes to an hour, 49:17 which means that they hear one and they want to go back 49:19 and pick the rest of the story up. 49:21 Or some people just hear this and go back to the beginning. 49:23 And they're going through all of these. 49:24 Praise God. Yeah. It's amazing 49:26 All right. 49:27 Real quickly, because we're going 49:28 to have to take, go to a news break here. 49:30 But you have marriage counseling 49:33 that people can contact you for just marriage counseling. 49:37 You speak in churches, you have your marriage. 49:40 How often is your marriage retreats? 49:42 We do one a year. That's in February. 49:44 One a year. 49:45 And your family retreats? We have four every year. 49:48 Four every year in different areas, 49:51 so that people can come and all of this information 49:55 is available as well as life restored. 49:59 If you want some of the... 50:02 Yeah, life restored is. Yeah. 50:04 It's a t-shirt that says that, but you can find 50:09 all of this on their website 50:12 rionline.org. 50:17 But let me go ahead. 50:18 We are going to put up an address roll for you. 50:22 So you know how to get in touch with Tom and Alane. 50:26 And then we're going to come back 50:28 for a final thought after our new break. 50:30 So don't go away. 50:37 If you would like to contact 50:38 or know more about Restoration International, 50:41 you can contact them at (928) 821-6315. 50:46 That's (928) 821-6315. 50:51 You can write to them at PO Box 145, 50:54 Seligman, Arizona 86337. 50:58 You can visit their website at rionline.org. 51:02 That's rionline.org. 51:06 You can also email them at office@rionline.org. 51:11 That's office@rionline.org. |
Revised 2021-04-19